The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

Many people aren't aware what this is but I'll help break it down to you how an Alpha widow comes to be.

So, for the sake of this story let's arrange SMV in percentile. 90th percentile is top 10%. The typical Western girl in her 20's isn't looking to settle down, she's looking to have fun.

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

Let's make a hypothetical girl: we'll call her Jane. Let's say Jane is a fairly okay but still very average girl, we'll put her at 60th percentile at the age of 22.

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

Jane likes to have casual sex with guys who are 80th+ percentile.

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

These guys don't mind stooping downwards because guys love sex and for him, she's just another plate to spin who didn't take that much effort.

Once, she even was the plate for a guy who was 95th percentile. A real top dog. She didn't even make this guy wear a condom. He's handsome, in shape, wealthy, has a nice apartment and an expensive car, and a fat dick.

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

He's sleeping with a lot of other girls at the same time. She doesn't care, because girls would rather be one of many in the harem of a high status male, than the one and only of some average looking guy. He fucks her a few weeks than he moves on.

This guy is now her high water mark for the kind of guy that she thinks he can get.

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

But her fatal flaw is in assuming that she could ever get such a guy to commit to her. This kind of guy will fuck her, but that's it. Why would a 95th percentile guy commit to a girl like that? Are you fucking kidding me? Not a chance in hell he would do that. But yeah, he'll dump his load in her every now and then, no question of that.

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

Fast forward 10 years. Now she's 32. She's gotten fatter, started to get wrinkles, she's less fun and cheerful than she was in her 20's, and generally less attractive.

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

She dropped in value to a men: now let's say she's 40th percentile. However, in HER mind, she's increased in value: She now has a masters degree in law and working for a law firm making 90k a year and has 2 cats - this is a woman on top of her game! She now decides it's time to settle down because that biological clock is ticking.

But she finds that any of the type of men that she wants won't commit to her. She's used to banging 80+ percentile guys (remember that one who was 95?) and therefore imagines that this is the type that should marry/commit to her. But the reality is now that she's looking at guys who are double her SMV. Men who are equal to her SMV, she sneers at because they're "creepy" and "gross."

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

She could do better. She knows it! She's just awesome, obviously.

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be



Every man, all her friends, her parents, media, music, and everyone else in society has been telling her since she was a toddler that she's awesome and great and perfect. Obviously it must be true. And that's why she "dated" so many hot guys in her 20's.

But nevertheless nobody will commit to her. Why are men such jerks?! Where have all the good men gone?! The world has wronged her. She's a victim. She's owed something that she isn't getting, and it's men's fault, because they're the ones not giving it to her.

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

Now she's 35 and realizes she has almost no time left to have kids. She marries a guy who is equal to her SMV. Another 40th percentile. He's not a bad guy, and there's nothing specifically offensive about him, but he isn't in shape, handsome, interesting, smart, or wealthy. Never mind the fact that she herself is not in shape, handsome interesting, smart, or wealthy either - but that doesn't stop her from secretly resented his mediocrity.

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

She silenced this resentment until the kids were pumped out. But in her mind, this guy isn't her equal - this guy is 40 percent lower in SMV than the men she used to fuck. This guy is a fucking loser.

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

Till one day he leaves the toilet seat up after he came home exhausted from working a 14 hour day to pay for their children and she decides that she's had enough of his "abusiveness", that she deserves better. Cue divorce and cash prizes.

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

Now she's 40 and hanging out in bars buying long island iced teas with her kids child support money, hitting on men twice her SMV, while her kids tuck themselves in on Friday night and can never hope to see daddy again.

The Alpha Widow and how they come to be

TLDR? This is what we mean when is meant when we talk about the consequences of unchecked hypergamy. Women fucking around with high SMV players end up with fucked up proprieties and a distorted sense of their own worth, and are no longer LTR material as a result. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the alpha widow.


And this, my friends, this is why hypergamy is ultimately a losing game. Hypergamy is not bad for men, it's bad for women. Women don't have to put in effort to obtain sex like men do, so when women have sex with top tier males, they think it's because I'm an awesome woman! He validates my (high) sexual worth!. In fact, it was only an anomaly. If pussy was a currency, hypergamy would be the inflation that makes it worth less than previously assumed.

Example of this:

This reminds me of my ex who is bi. She would say that she found next to no value in a guy who found her attractive because at the end of the day, she knew they would fuck anything. (This is directed at you WHITE KNIGHTS)

With that being said, she claims she preferred women. After all things considered, I think its because she was seeking legitimate validation. Something she was unable to get from men. No matter who she could end up with, if its a man, it didn't say anything about her.

A white knight comment on a girls appearance is virtual worthless because they throw it out at every girl to improve their chances of getitng their dick wet. It basically makes whatever you say to a girl worthless.

I would add that hypergamy will always demand someone who is higher SMV and women will feel "cheated" with someone who is equal SMV. The issue with alpha widows is that they don't see a guy who is, say, a point higher in SMV as being sufficient, because they have gotten sex from guys who are a few points higher. So one point higher feels "bad" to them, when it should be sufficient for "normal" hypergamy. A woman will never feel good about being with a guy with the exact same SMV, because that isn't hypergamy, but she should be satisfied with a guy who is one point higher -- alpha widowhood messes that up.



Final Points on possible critiques:

For you white knights on the fence, this isn't an issue of men who are intimidated by a strong woman's past sexual exploits. That if she tells you those days are over and she doesn't do those things anymore and he was a jerk anyway and she loves you for you and sex isn't that important anyway, she must be telling you the truth now. You're not being compared to what she had in her past, you're being compared to what she couldn't have. She never had the alpha, she just fucked him, and therefore thinks she could have had him, but obviously she didn't lock him down. It's not that you can't compete with her exes, you can't meet her expectations, and she will always be less happy in your relationship.

Also, I don't think girls don't care about their alpha screwing other girls, it's just they're afraid to give him grief about it, because they want to be the last girl standing. They think he'll eventually pick her over all the others.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I know that most of you are hating on the my take owner and i myself find some of things he is talking about a little extreme... however he got many things right, women can have sex easily and even if they do not have sex they can get men much eaiser than men can get women, so a 6 can get a 8 but he will leave eventually and after few times of doing this she will think " damn!! i am hot i can get the top guys" ... yea ain't gonna happen, i look for true girlfriend material girls the ones that are not that shallow, i found pretty shallow girls, even right now lots of girls find me good looking but i keep my distance, with respect to all women, iam not going to be anyones toy i call girls out on their mistakes, the days of me being extremely nice are over, didn't work i was a little dumb fuck now iam an honest, good looking asshole and i found that to be much better... iam usually respectful dont get me wrong but iam not lying to a girl to make her feel good ( unless she has some serious issues) so OP is right.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Your hypothetical situation is totally a legend in your own mind. You assume multiple variables all to reinforce the cockeyed opinion that you have. I think, no I find you to be a bitter person who will deny all aspects of positive relationships in order to make your point. And you have no point. Why? Because it is your story and you made it up. I can give you a great story. The 23-year-old girl goes on to graduate school at Yale where she meets a brilliant 26-year-old guy and they fall in love and get married. That's hypothetical not applying to me but I made it up just as quickly as you made up your story. You fictionalize to suit your advantage. Have you ever heard of the word confabulation? You need to look it up. Because that is exactly what you're doing.

    • Oh one other thing, your name is José. I assume you are Hispanic. You therefore place your own ethnic values and morality into your views. Like Cuban women never show up on time. With your attitude you will date your right hand many years

    • My right hand suits me best, I'm done breeding kids I can't raise more or less see but still have to pay for, your generation of women absolutely suck

    • I love my kids = I have no love for any woman but my sis, my ma, and my daughters

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What Girls & Guys Said

9 23
  • You're kind of over-complicating things.

    It doesn't matter if they're a guy or girl, there are a lot of losers out there. There are very few winners.

    Hot chick with a douche bag? She's probably a loser.
    She's so beneath him? He's probably on her level.

    The harsh reality of dating losers is realizing you've probably been dating on your own level. Whoever you are, stop being a loser. Get your emotional, financial, and physical stuff together and land yourself a winner while and if you still can.

    • You're missing his entire point. He's not talking about hot guys 'dating' average women and boosting her ego. He's talking about hot guys screwing average women and boosting their ego. look again.

  • Answer part 1 of 2..

    Women and men alike understand that their dating life and the people they would choose to date is very different than the sort of person they would look at for a long term relationship material. When there's nothing to lose then of course they will try dating a fabulous looking man just to see what he is like and whether there's anything worth pursuing.
    But she’s under no illusions later on when she is thinking seriously about who she wants to marry and have children with. She knows that the fabulous looking guy was very charming but that the chances of him ever wanting to settle down are next to nothing. So pursuing that is a lost cause. she finds out that he's been seeing lots of other people. Messing women about. And he is hopelessly noncommittal.

    So later on when she's thinking about who is available for a serious relationship he's the last person on her list. she starts looking around at all the people who seem like a good bet for commitment. It's not easy as a lot of men commitment phobic. But if she's lucky she'll find one that seems to want to get married and have children and be serious. And if she is of comparable financial standing he might take her seriously. men with reasonably high incomes all whatever income they happen to have are usually looking for women of similar income. Where I live anyway. As far as anything to do with commitment is concerned anyway. It's like they choose someone who would be of similar financial stakes. So that if it goes pear-shaped then they've both lost an equal amount. It's more fair. so men doctors get married to female doctors. That sort of thing. it also helps just from the point of view that they understand the pressures of work how working as a doctor can really interfere with being available for time in relationships. But generally the gist is that they look for people of equal earning capacity.

    So if you find someone of approximately similar earning capacity who is interested in either a marriage commitment or having children as opposed to just having sex with different women for as long as possible, then yes they do date for a long time and eventually moving together and get married so that they can have children. It's a very pragmatic choice but it's very difficult to actually go ahead with Matthew have some reasonable kind of sexual chemistry with the person concerned. It just doesn't happen unless there is sufficient sexual interest in the other person. That has to be there.

    • pt2 Then along comes midlife crisis in which it becomes apparent to both parties that the things they thought would satisfy them like a career, money in the bank, or a long-term marriage or steady partner didn't fill the psychological holes. There are emotional lives are still unsatisfied. The old wounds are still there. Nothing really has changed. There are circumstances in life have changed but there are emotional issues P much the same. But at the same time there has a valuable lesson learned in figuring out how to live with someone. Which is an achievement in itself. And if they have succeeded in managing to sustain a sexual relationship then they're doing very well. It's not easy to sustain sexual interest after a baby, after a bereavement, after all sorts of pressure at work. After all kinds of personal difficulties. But ultimately the crushing life lesson is that none of these things change the internal world a great deal. All they have done is complied with what society expected of them at the insides are still pretty much the same. So they feel a tiny bit like frauds in that they have adopted this lifestyle, which they thought would make everything better, but it's just another set of problems. There are satisfactions to raising children and having secure base of some sort, but there is nearly always these worrisome gaps and chasms in the relationship that never really get resolved. This isn’t because they are weak it's because people are complicated. in sexual desire waxes and wanes over time. And then of course they changed dramatically and might want different things over time. What used to work might stop working entirely. when you have all the hormonal changes which changes desire as well. An desire might disappear once Security takes over. Because in order for desire to survive there needs to be a little bit of distance in the relationship. And if that is extinguished due to the intensely stable aspect of the relationship then it's very bad for desire

    • pt3 So very often people drift apart or else they just find it all very unsatisfying. And that's when people either look elsewhere to trying their needs met, either by having affairs, or they just give up on marriage thinking that relationships couldn't possibly satisfy. So what's the point. But at any stage during this disappointment process the person might very well find themselves pining for the alpha male who had no interest and commitment. Partly because within that system desire was very healthy because there was sufficient distance to make desire stay alive. Whereas the loss of distance in the stable relationship is caused to disappear. So it might be that finding oneself pining for an alpha male who had lots of sexual chemistry but no desire to commit, is in effect a very healthy desire for increased sexual desire, albeit within that noncommittal relationship. Desire of itself is something that is worth wanting. And it's a very healthy desire in my view. It's also very difficult to sustain in stable relationships. So wanting an excursion outside the relationship is often misplaced desire for the healthy element of sexual desire. That has gone missing. Or it might be that they want to reconnect with a wilder more frivolous self that they encountered when they were having this noncommittal affair with the alpha. Or it might be that they really miss the good looks or the charm that they experienced in those situations. Which they don't have in their stable married life.

    • pt4 It's like if I was given a Lamborghini when I was 17 and I got to drive it until I was 21. But I realised that in order to be sensible and practical I would have to trade that in and start buying a Volvo station wagon. After 20 years of driving a station wagon I might myself yet I would love to driver Lamborghini just for a test drive. I don't want to keep it because it's too expensive, but I love the way I felt when I was driving a Lamborghini and I think it made me a nicer person to be around. I was more fun back then. That doesn't mean that I'm a bad person or that I have unhealthy desire. Yet this is very often what's driving the craving or pining for these less committed people we encountered earlier on in our dating career. And it doesn't mean we are any less committed to the person we are with. We are literally trying to re-energise ourselves, our view of the world, and the way we feel about our life and therefore the people that want to spend the rest of our lives with.

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  • I dont get how people are saying he's so wrong or sexist when he's classifying a type of woman that is dominating the western scene currently.

    This is your average college party girl. It is not sexism, it is not generalizing, he is classifying one kind of woman based on apparent traits.

    Obviously, You could do one for men too - I mean there were many shots at men in this take too (white knights/ top 90% man whores) so im not sure why everyone seems to be clamoring like this is sexist, offensive, or 'generalizing' when he's specifically looking at a handful of types of people.

  • Oh look. Another member of the "I hate women so I have to shame them into having sex with me" club.

    • Yea cause pointing out facts of womens behaviour is hate? I think women hate their self and people who point out what women can't reflect on. Smh

    • ... so exactly like how women try to shame men into dating fatties and single moms?

  • Looks like you wasted a lot of time thinking about all this.

    • If you have facial hair you need to shave that shit off because it makes you look like a sissy. Beards are beta.

    • @Criticaljoe I'd be a beta only if I gave a shit about what people like you think

  • Wrinkles at 32? 😅 Premature aging...

    • they start wrinkling at 23 i dont know how he got 32

    • @dudeman damn I hope you are being sarcastic haha 😝

    • Not at all. Some women are over the hill by twenty five. They stay skinny but lose any sort of youthful attractiveness they once had. Ran into this a lot in college. Even more in professional life. These thirty year old women already look like moms. Even if they never had a kid.

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  • Exactly who are "White Knights"? People keep throwing it around with no solid definition. I've heard MRM's call male feminist "white knights".

    "With that being said, she claims she preferred women. After all things considered, I think its because she was seeking legitimate validation. Something she was unable to get from men."

    I never understood this about some bisexuals. More then a few times I seen girls "give up men" and become lesbians because they don't think women play the same game. When it does happen they switch back.

    • Hint: they aren't really bisexual, they're desperate.

    • white knights will kiss her ass and always take her side in hope that one day she will give him pussy, while the other guy who calls her out on all the stupid things she says and does will be hated, but he can actually get a girl too have sex with while the other guy is waiting around for that one girl just too see her end up with another guy that's basically what male feminist do and what WHITE KNIGHTS are

    • @skeptic007 Lol, sounds like guys who call other guys White Knights are jealous.

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  • This entire take just reeks of butthurt anti-womanism.

    • "Anti-Womanism" ... lol

    • Psst. ThisDudeHere, the word you're looking for is misogyny~

    • @BellePepper I know. But that wouldn't have sounded any better.

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  • Hey you put what my last realtionship was. This my take came out of nowhere and it showed me a lot. I thought dating someone in lower class would be good but I would never commit. The author is right hate to say it. My family and my friends did not approve of her end of story.

  • awwwww, it's OK buddy. there there. let it go. ;)

    • I'll be saying the same to you when I stop you from committing suicide because your ex took your house, your kids, and more than half your paycheck and your reduced as a utility. Men like you need to fucking die.

  • Someone has mommy issues

  • I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point. You must really hate your ex.

  • This screams red pill

    • Good stuff.

  • Never expected to see a truth bomb on GAG. MyTake of the year!

    i0.kym-cdn.com/.../clap.gif

  • Hypergamy sucks for everyone who isn't top tier.

    • It really isn't good for anyone, economically, politically, nor the women and the top tier people involved. You see some people want an emotional connection and think that women who are hypergamous are gross, even if they are in the 80th percentile... there a whole shit load of problems that go on with a guy like that, seriously. And then you have things called babies... and everyone loses today it seems, the kids, the father... and eventually the woman.

    • Yeah I'm sure they're complaining about their 'problems' while they fuck endless numbers of women.

  • "He's sleeping with a lot of other girls at the same time. She doesn't care, because girls would rather be one of many in the harem of a high status male, than the one and only of some average looking guy."

    Exactly.

    • Correct. They would also 1) wait in line until he's divorced or 2) try to instigate a divorce itself to speed up the process of getting their turn at 'bat.' Today's contemporary Western females are such unashamed sociopathic manipulators of the highest caliber that even Charles Manson would be jealous.

    • @PatKirby do you have a YouTube channel?

    • @Criticaljoe Good idea.

  • the 95th percentile guy is even worse looking than the pinhead. fat dick? who the fuck wants that?

  • Dude, well spoken but the social world the way it is today is in no way prepared to deal with, much less accept, the mega-tonnage caliber of this Truth Bomb. Good try tough, but for now, it's persona-non-grata to the uninitiated and Blue Pill, White Knight, mangina, pussy-beggar, SJW crowd.

    The contemporary human mind does not have the ability, nor capacity, to understand anything beyond their immediate existence for lack of critical thinking skills. Anything that threatens the current store-bought paradigm is either thrust out or ignored entirely. Some things are just too frightening or painful to contemplate (much less digest and share within said crowd) as you can see from its profoundly negative impact it has received from noobs in this thread.

    No matter, Truth does not stop to request or seek acceptance. This is the pattern Truth tends to follow on its way to the end of the perception-tunnel of the awakening human mind and will later be used as reference material to explain to a more level-headed and receptive people how and why they were used and manipulated. Patience is a virtue.

    Congratulations on a lucid and excellent observation so eloquently expressed. Could not have said this any better and can add nothing more to it except to re-affirm the following axioms:

    • Everything good that a woman has to offer you can get from an escort service
    • Despite billion$ in research, marriage continues to be the #1 cause of divorce
    • Marriages are slow motion funerals for the souls of men
    • Men need Marriage like a Bank needs a Robbery
    • No kids, no wife, no problems in life

    The Alpha Widow and how they come to be
    • Yep😎👍🙏

  • This is pretty fucking sexist
    I've also never liked the term white knights for anything.
    As knights as a whole were pretty fucking barbaric. So unless you are talking about how a group of white knights, killed everyone over 15 in a village, raped the rest then killed them, then piled the bodies in the center of town, then burned the whole town as a funeral pyre. It really doesn't fit

    • A white knight is defined as a male with low self esteem who combats this with a unwavering need to treat women as goddesses with special attention and come to their aid when they feel threatened in a desperate attempt to get himself laid. Similar to pussy-beggar, a guy that sells out his own male gender to earn some extra "brownie" points with the ladies. Example: "Brah, if you keep white knighting every girl you meet, you'll never get as action."

    • Wft are you talking about bitch?

  • You internet people and your "problems."

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