Sexual Relationships
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I Love Sex, But I'm A Virgin

"I know this sounds incredibly lame, but I don't want losing my virginity to feel like I'm losing something. I want it to feel like I'm finding something. I want sex to be amazing. I want it to be life-alteringly wonderful. And I want it to happen with someone I love. " -Sonya Sones.

I’m a virgin. I know that I will not be having sex until I find the right man for me. Don't get me wrong, I love sex and the idea of it, but this is just my personal choice and I'm not embarrassed by it. I've come so close to having sex many times, showing I've got the will power to stop myself. This is because I feel I shouldn't be losing my virginity to somebody that I'm not in love with. Some people are embarrassed of the fact they haven’t had sex yet by a certain age. To be honest, that is something you should never feel embarrassed about. Having sex is a big deal and you should do it when you’re ready and when the time is right. You should never pressure yourself into having sex if you don’t want to. So, here are 4 reasons why it’s okay to wait to have sex:

1. You're Not Ready Yet

This is pretty much common sense. You should have sex when you feel comfortable having sex, not when you think you should have sex. Everyone feels ready for this moment in their lives at different times. For some girls, it's at a young age, or for others, it's much older. Either way, you should have sex when YOU feel ready.

2. You're Sticking To Your Beliefs

Are you religious and that's why you're waiting to have sex? That's totally fine! Maybe you're even waiting until after marriage to do it. If you really believe in this religion and this is what you want to do, waiting to have sex means sticking to your beliefs, and that is always an awesome feeling.

3. "Everyone Else Is Doing It"

You know what you want; you're waiting for the right person. If that's the case, keep on waiting until you meet that person. You might feel like all of your friends are doing it or everyone you know is doing it, that doesn't mean you have to do it. It's completely fine to wait until you meet someone you truly care about to share that moment with. Don't feel pressure to do something you don't want to do just to impress other people.

4. You'll Learn There Are People Worth Waiting For

When you have a specific reason for waiting to have sex, it can also mean ruling out the people who aren't worth your time. You'll find out which guys or girls are willing to wait for you and which are only interested in one thing; sex.

I LOVE SEX BUT I'M A VIRGIN

So, there you have it! These are only 4 reasons why it is completely okay waiting to have sex. Yes I'm a virgin, but I’m confident about my choices. I feel like I haven’t betrayed who I am because I know what I want; honeslty, I always have and I’m willing to wait. Even though sometimes, waiting is tough. Now, I’m also waiting for the next moment that I’ll have to tell a new guy that "Yes, I’m still a virgin". This time I’ll say it proudly, without shame, and without apologizing for who I am.

Are you waiting to have sex? Why are you waiting? If you’re not waiting for a particular reason, are you embarrassed of being a virgin?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nice take - I like your logic - Again your interrogator style in last sentence - That ship sailed a long time ago but it is so long since last time that I feel like a born again virgin - This time around it is definitely 1 and 4 - Am I embarrassed hell no, if anyone has a problem with my decision it tells me more about them than me. So I am a proud born again virgin waiting for the right woman to take my heart and my born again virginity.

    • Thanks for reading Dave!

Most Helpful Girl

  • Very nice Take. It's nice to see someone who understands wanting to wait until having sex. Personally, I want to wait until marriage, both for religious reasons and for my own. People seem very critical of that today, especially on this site, so it's nice to know I'm not alone. Your words were very uplifting :)

    • aww thanks for reading girl! :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I'm getting a little hung up on the fact that you say you love sex but then proclaim that you are a virgin. You don't know whether you like sex or not, and you can't know until you experience it. You most certainly cannot love something that you've never done.

    But, that aside, it's a great idea to wait.
    Whether you want to wait for someone that really loves you or wait until marriage, that's up to you. But I think that everyone should wait until they are with someone they really care about and are emotionally ready for it!

    I did not wait (was 18 at the time) and I really regret it now. I wish I had waited. I had every intention of waiting, but then things changed (long story).

    You shouldn't be ashamed for wanting to wait. It's not a bad thing.

  • I'm sorry but I don't get it. Your title does not connect to your MyTake. Your title caught my eye as something different and intriguing, then your MyTake was nothing about you liking sex and everything about why you should wait.

    I agree people shouldn't feel pressured to sleep with someone just because everyone is. It is something that should be done when you're ready and when you are with the right person. HOWEVER the right person doesn't mean The One, Mr (s) Perfect who will be with you forever. If you spend forever waiting for this person you will miss out on a lot of Mr (s) Rights.

    Some of the people who won't wait for you are a waste of time. Most of them are probably hurt that you don't think they're good enough but expect them to hang around while you make up your mind. That's selfish and unfair on your part then you judge them for it.

    Not being ready is fine. Waiting for the sake of making it "perfect" is a waste. You say you've come so close many times. That makes you a cock tease. I'm sorry it's harsh, but it's true.

    Too much emphasis is put on virginity. It doesn't change anything. My first time was no more special than my first time with any other boyfriend. I don't refuse to go to a gig until the "perfect" band are playing because I want to do it first time with the only band I'll ever see.

    Sex is special when it's with someone special - even if that person isn't going to be forever. Virginity us a label. There's no way of even telling these days because lifestyles and tampons take away the evidence. I didn't bleed my first time and I'd never even used a tampon. The only way your guy knows you're a virgin is because you tell him you are. I can say I'm a virgin. I can say I'm descended from Marilyn Monroe. The only truth is what they believe.

    People are holding onto a word for the sake of it. Being a virgin doesn't make you a better person, neither does having sex. Believe it or not when you finally do have sex nothing will be different. You'll probably wonder what the big deal was. No one will look at you and know. No one will receive ven care. The only person who cares is you, and if it's for the right reasons that's fine. If it's just because it's virginity then what's the point? The bar of chocolate you're saving can be enjoyed or stored until it goes off.

  • Yoy shouldn't be having sex until you've found someone willing to wait. You'll never get your virginity back once it's gone.

    • agreee!

    • I wish I would have waited until marriage. So many people regret losing it to someone totally unworthy. You are right. It's a self eliminating problem. If he's not willing to wait he'll leave, and remove himself from the picture.

  • Omg you took the words right out of my mouth. I didn't think it was possible to love something you've not yet experienced but yet if at least another person feels the same way it must be true! 😁

    #VexAddict 😉

  • Agreed, I'm religious (Christian) and I'm waiting till marriage, I completely agree with you! Good article

  • I've been further than I wish to ever be again before being married; committed life-long with the intent of raising a family. Sex? Oh my gosh, I'm probably the most driven man you'd ever meet, but I've also got enough willpower to wait. And I am going to make the wait oh, so, worthwhile for my wife.

    I regret the things I've already shared; but I'm thankful I've not shared everything. Not going to list what I've done/haven't-done/have-no-intention-of-ever-doing here, but I am a virgin, too.

    The biggest reason I'm thankful for not having shared everything yet? Is because who I shared what I had with was someone I should have never been involved with. Had there been no firsts left to look forward to with someone else? It would have made the pain of severing that relationship so much more intense, and it was already devastating.

    I think that's one of the things the detractors never consider. There are some genuinely caring and soft individuals who get mixed up with those who are broken and self-centered. Sex and physical intimacy can bond two people together something fierce, but it's no good if it's with someone who is wrong for you or only temporary.

    • I respect that comment of yours and I respect your choice and opinion regarding intimacy. Privacy is also valuable, you don't need to share more with anyone until you feel that it's important to. Same with me. I agree with you. I can't wait to have sex with the guy of my dreams, whoever I will marry, one day.

  • I'm sorry but first thought I had on this is "how can you love it when you've never had it?"

    You love the idea of having sex. You don't love sex itself.

  • Good take

    • Thank you!

  • While I largely agree with everything written here, I would point out issues men, and women, have when they stay virgins "too long."

    For women, in my experience (though I am NOT a woman, and could be wrong on this), it seems that the longer they are virgins, the more they are afraid they are not desired, or that, if they are, that they will embarrass themselves with a lack of knowledge in bed.

    For men, it seems like the longer one of us is a virgin, the less likely a woman will be interested. We fear they see us as defective, or damaged, or somehow just undesirable. "No one has had sex with him yet, there must be a good reason for it! Stay away ladies!" is the kind of thing virgin men (especially over their mid-twenties,) are terrified women say behind their back. It isn't that we feel like we are physically undesirable, as much as the fear that women feel we are untouched for a reason, and so they would avoid us. And, again, there is the fear of being unprepared for actual sex. "what if i cum too fast? what if i can't make her cum? what if thing X that i've seen in porn and loved for years is actually something i find to be a big turn off in real life?"

    • Thanks for reading! I agree with you also.

    • True, but having said that if you are a virgin and don't put it out there, same goes for sleeping around then it can't hurt you that bad. No girl I've slept with or gotten oral from asked me if I'm a virgin or how many people I've slept with except for maybe one. That whole thing about sleeping around or getting lots of experience makes you amazing at sex is a myth. You could be good to one partner and bad to the next as each person gets pleased by different things. It's not a black and white thing.

    • Even, when I have an extended dry spell, I still don't bring that up. Why? Because there's no reason to.

  • so proud of u for sharing this Clarisa, about time someone did <3

    • Thanks love! ❤️

  • Are you waiting to have sex?
    Yes.

    Why are you waiting?
    Because casual sex damaged my brain & now I find it very hard to romantically love and get committed with a girl.

    If you’re not waiting for a particular reason, are you embarrassed of being a virgin?
    I was never embarrassed & I never will.

    I know it sounds weird but it is what it is.
    Glad to find another girl who has good self-esteem :)

    • Thanks for reading! :D

    • Celibacy can heal in your case. Good on you for checking on yourself and deciding to mend the damage :)

    • @Perkish would it be good for my hormonal balance? Thanks.

  • Clarisa, this was amazing. Thanks for the mytake! You did a beautiful job!

  • I am a virgin as well and my reasons are simply to wait until marriage but if I dont then it would have to be with someone I truly love none the less.

  • Thank you! This is incredible. And, it definitely helps to ease the mind.

    • No, thank you for reading! :)

    • Welcome ❤

  • I was until I got married, and no I wasn't ashamed at all. It was mainly for religious reasons, but also to avoid STDs, pregnancy, and all the emotional complications that go with a sexual relationship.

  • I like it.

    Virginity is something you can only have once.

  • God dammit am I the only one on this FUCKIN site who's a virgin but NOT by choice? I have just never come close to the opportunity of having sex.

    • Go out more xD

  • Yes I'm waiting. For more moral reasons I don't believe in causal sex and it just seems like a waste of time with more possible consequences with no long-term benefits. I'm also a bit of a romantic I want the guy I spend my first time with to be the one I spend my last time with it is a bit corny and I know that may not happen but I still want to try. I'm not ashamed of it.

    • Not corny at l

    • @Adamlevine Thanks.

  • I did not know that 'virgin shaming' was really a thing among women. Or rather, I've heard of it, but more of a spite thing. The same girls that shame you for being a virgin will shame you for being a slut the day after you lose your virginity. Such girls are simply obsessed with other people's sex lives, in my opinion..

    of course, some guys might participate as well, but generally not.

  • Nice myTake!👊💯

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