Is there a difference between preference and isolation?
If you've ever asked another individual out on a date or have been in a position in which you had to either accept or decline a proposition, you've mostly likely heard one of these common phrases at least once:
"I don't date [race] girls"
"I'm just not into [race] guys"
"I swear I'm not racist, but I don't date [race] people"
What is preference?
From my perspective: When it comes to dating or making any type of choice, preference is having something you're typically more attracted to in realtion to other things. A preference is your go-to option, but it doesn't make everything else an "absolutely not".
Think of it this way: Let's say you like cereal. Perhaps your favorite cereal is Cheerios. If Cheerios just happens to be your preference of cereal, does that mean you would never eat any other flavor? Probably not, it just means that you'd most likely eat it before another flavor.
The same can be applied to dating. Lets say you're usually attracted to yellow eyed gingers with green skin. If it's a preference, It just means you typically wouldn't date outside of your preference but if you found a special someone that's perhaps a blue eyed brunette with rainbow skin who is obviously outside of your preference but really just made you go "wow", you wouldn't turn them down just because they don't meet your preference.
"When you have a preference, everything else doesn't default to no. Everything else becomes a maybe or not likely."
What is isolation?
When it comes to dating: Racial isolation is when your sole reason for turning someone down is because of their race. People don't magically only date people within one race. There is always a reason whether it be logical or illogical. In many cases, isolation is caused due to actually being racist or prejudice because whether it be a concious thought or subconcious mentality, whoever the person may be is under the impression that everyone or a majority of indidivudals belonging to a certain group all are or all act a certain way. This would be stereotyping and limiting yourself to or from a certain with the belief that a certain group is either inferior/superior.
Excpetions: Often, it's not neccesarily directly correlated to race. I know a lot of people who simply stay within a group because they want children who look like them. While it's not a bad reason, it's still isolation. However, I don't think this would make you a bad or racist person.
What is attraction?
I think we've all got a good idea of what attraction is and what it means to be attracted to someone, so I'll spare you all the breakdown.
Rejection: It's common for us to hear
"I'm just not attracted to [race] guys"
or
"[race] girls just aren't attractive".
Now, I fully agree that simply not being attracted to an indidividual does not make you racist or sexist, but when you say things such as "I don't date [race] people" or "[race] people aren't attractive", you're categorizing every single last person in a race, and odds are, you haven't even met a majority of those people. Lets say you're usually attarcted to green people and you find a green person that you're not attracted to. You're probably not going to say that "I'm not attracted to you because you're green", so the same should be applied if perhaps you weren't attracted to a red even if you're not usually attracted to red people anyway. I personally think the best reponse would be
"I'm not attracted to you."
Physical attraction is definitely not something we choose, so we shouldn't just say I'm not attracted to you just because you're this or that race. I personally believe there are attractive people in every race, but of course, being attractive doesn't mean everyone is going to be attracted to you.
Compared to sexuality: If you're heterosexual, then you of course like the opposite sex, but that doesn't mean you can't recognize someone of the same sex as attractive.
The same could definitely be applied to race. You may think people are a certain race are visually attractive but if there's just no libido then there just is none.
If perhaps everyone you run into of a certain group just hasn't done it for you so far, then that's fine, but when you start categorizing the group and saying that it just would never happen because "they're...", then that's when it becomes a problem.
What's the big takeaway?
There are many messages you all could have percieved from this take. I think the biggest message I realized while writing this take is that we shouldn't categorize or judge entire groups of people, especially when it comes to choosing a possible life partner. I also wanted to stir up the pot and get people thinking about whether or not their preference really is a preference or just a way of justifiying isolation. I do hope my Take broadened your perspective.
. . . Thanks for reading! . . .
QOTD: Have you ever isolated yourself without any particular "logical" reason when it came to dating?
Disclaimer: This myTake is not directed towards any individual or group of people. All things mentioned have happen to people of various backgrounds. This is not a take meant to label anyone as racist or decide who anyone can or can't date. Its purpose is to give people a new perspective on how they view race, preference, and anything else along those lines.
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