I wanted to write this Take to just sort of help some of the people out here who've been telling me about how it hurts to be hated, blocked, or face negativity from people on GaG, or any other site for that matter. I also remember seeing a Take somebody wrote weeks back about people being unkind on the Internet or something like that, I don’t remember who she was but if she’s out there and sees this, I hope she can get something out of it. This time I won’t be tagging anybody so they can maintain their privacy.
Maybe my perspective will help...
People are going to hate or disagree with you. Anywhere and everywhere. It is what it is. Hell, I’m sure somebody out there will even find a reason to criticize this Take. Everyone has given everyone grief about their ideas or opinions. I admit that even I’ve done it although I really try not to. Some are worse than others though, and there are people who do seek to assault you even if what you say is beautiful and positive. People are going to find a way to disagree or assault even when there’s really no reason but they do it just to antagonize you.
When I joined sites like these wayyyyyyyyy back, it was new to me, and I think I was probably older than most people who got into social media. It was cool, it was fun. But when haters and nasty comments came at me it could really drag me down, sometimes it could give me anxiety, or even have me lamenting on it for hours or days. Over time though you just stop caring. You neither listen to them nor ignore them. It is what it is. They’re not sorry for what they say, so why should you be? They’ll still be there tomorrow, and so will you.
If I’m being honest though, there is a weird sort of twisted part of me that almost enjoys getting the hate, especially in droves. It says that what you think or say really bothers people. They can’t stand it. It just makes you the more powerful one really, that you got under their skin like that. In some twisted sense, sometimes I feel like if I’m not being criticized, then I really haven’t done my job.
In one of my recent Takes I wrote about being a guy who’s not into bi’s and lesbians, and almost all the guys who commented knew where I was coming from and felt the same way - which was surprising to me, while most of the females got their feelings hurt and tried to vote each other up. They couldn’t have shown more weakness. When you’re being attacked in droves, it’s usually an indication of their frailty, and the effect you had on them. Some even tried to defend their bi or lesbian sentiments while claiming to be straight, from explaining how it’s understandable why women would watch lesbian porn because it focuses on women’s pleasure, to the typical “you’re just bitter” comeback.
It can be somewhat entertaining to see really. If you’re a woman who’s “empathizing” with lesbians or have lesbian sentiments and tendencies and can even think lesbian porn is hot, yet you would outright say a guy who’s straight but has gay tendencies is gay, you can’t be a lot different really. They can explain it away all they want or make excuses for it, but we all know better. They couldn't make me their fool.
Don't be afraid to confront the hate. I'm not. Some of you here who know me also know well that I don't run from anybody. I face those who oppose me. I don't hide myself by going Anon. I'm not afraid of showing who I am and saying what I think. And you can do the same thing. Don't run from Goliath.
Getting blocked...
I think I get blocked just as frequently here as I did on Experience Project, and it is somewhat satisfying, yeah. Your blockers think they’re giving you the rub or being the bigger person, when it’s only trivializing themselves and making their tolerance and intelligence look weak. Every time it happens there is some kind of good feeling I get out of it, and there are even times when I’m actually glad somebody blocked me, because now I don’t have to have them come on my posts anymore. I’m not a blocker, I’m just too strong for that, so I’ll wait until they do it instead. I will also even encourage some people to block me by all means if it makes them feel better, and they usually end up taking the bait. It's also really funny when they say, "I'm gonna block you now." Okay. Don't tell me, just do it! Lol.
Just some time ago a girl here came bothering me in comments about me saying how females keep spamming the site with "how do I look?" posts, so we debated about it for a bit, she couldn't handle much more, and I told her to feel free to block me if she had to. She replied, "Gladly. Sick of your crap." As odd as it will sound, not only did I find it really damn sexy that she got angry like that, but it was even adorable the way she said, "Sick of your crap." I wished I could've reached through the screen and grabbed her and smothered her in a long, hot kiss, LOL! And for the record she is a cute girl, yeah. Even if she is a butthead and calls herself that ;-)
I would say 98% of my blockers are female and always have been. There have been a few guys to block me, but that is extremely rare, even from ones who hate my guts. I guess guys just don't get as upset about stuff as females, I don't know. I hear about male blockers, but it's news to me because I almost never have it happen. The really odd people are the ones you've never even come into contact with and block you. That was extremely common on EP too, and I hear people on GaG talk about them, but haven't had it happen to me as far as I know.
The people who block and aren't ashamed of it, and support other blockers, try to tell me there's nothing wrong with it, people have their reasons, it doesn't make you bad or weak, yada yada. I feel like they're trying to convince themselves really, cuz no amount of them defending their reasons for doing it fools me. The only time I ever block anyone is when they repeatedly troll me in my comments, questions, or Takes just to be abusive, other than that, I really could care less and leave my end wide open.
Some people tell me it really bothers them when they get blocked. Don't let it affect you like that, but rather glory in it. It's a beautiful day when you know how strong you are and how fragile the other person is.
Negativity of popularity...
I even got criticized a while back just for saying I think GaG should drop the whole Xper Levels thing, and I didn’t even attack anybody! People seemed to think having it is “great for their ego” and determines somebody’s worth as a Gagger if they have high Xper or high MHO% - which I only recently noticed on a user’s name - and thought I should care about it. I simply said I didn’t think it mattered much, that it comes down to math and popularity more than actual worth, and doesn’t make me or anybody else an expert or having the most valuable opinion just because my stats might be higher than somebody else’s. My stats are actually some of the lowest, and I don’t come on here to climb up in the ranks or try to get as many MHOs as possible. I’m here to say what I think and share what somebody could learn from, whether or not my stats are high.
I am surprised to know that people think their sense of correctness depends on how many people agree with them or give them high ratings, which couldn’t be a more sure indication of their insecurity. Many times I’ve had zero uprates, to ones in the double digits from both genders before, and neither change my ego or my sense of correctness. Is it great when people agree with you? Sure. But it also makes no difference when they don’t. I said what I said because I believed in it, whether anyone else believes it or not.
And honestly? I tend to just sort of block out a lot of the super popular people here with high stats, and the people considering themselves experts. I tend to ignore a lot of their posts and tune out their comments. Some of those people are fine and I have PM'd them before, but most of them are pretty much attention spammers to me, and are only as big as they are because a bunch of people follow them and because they beg their circles to give their posts attention so they can seem important.
And some of them even recruit their friends to rate them up when they attack you, and others try to get their friends to flag you in numbers so the Admins can tell you of your offense, yet nothing is done about theirs. It's just more weakness. So I just sort of overlook them. There is no less of a group-think popularity contest and follow-the-leader game here than there is in real life.
Being popular isn't even new to me, I've been well-known and liked on other sites before these, and I have over 500 followers on Google+ who I don't care about and they don't really care about me. It's one of the reasons why I came to hate it. It's all just fake. The love you get is about your image, not because people really give a damn about you. I like the quiet life of not being super known or high in rank here, and offers me the opportunity to connect with the people who really matter or impact me. It’s often times the lesser people here that I will put a lot of focus on. Their unknown-ness and things they say can stand out for me.
Don't crumble under the weight of popular people's attacks or ganging up on you. Stand firm and hold your ground.
Roll with the punches...
Sometimes, if my brother or my family are in the same room, I’ll read aloud what some hater said on Google+ or in a Take I posted, and we’ll all laugh about it or feel sorry for the person. I’ll respond - or sometimes not respond - and just move on to the question I wanted to post or the ones I want to answer. I'm not here to please people. I'm not here to tell everybody what they want to hear. I say what I think, I tell it like it is, and if it bothers somebody it's not my problem.
Call me an asshole, a misogynist/sexist, angry, intolerant, manipulative, "where do you get off...?!" "your logic is flawed," “you need mental help,” "you have a white girl fetish," yada yada. It makes no difference to me and isn't gonna change my perspective - even less so if anything. If you need to block me, please, by all means, go for it. Sometimes I don’t mind engaging in a debate with somebody. I don’t mind duking out opinions with folks. And I’ll do it for awhile until they’re ready to hit block or if I just don’t have anything else to say.
And then you move on.
Sometimes it really doesn’t get any simpler than that. You just gotta keep doing what you do and move forward every time. You can debate with them for a bit, and then just go on to the next thing.
So if you're here for what you're here for, then keep going with that. Keep connecting with the people you like, saying what you want to say, doing what you want to do. Whether any of us like it or not. Embrace the disagreement and even learn your strengths in it. Understand that the Internet world is full of nastiness and antagonism, and if you let it take you under you give the imps the last laugh.
Don't go under.
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