I want to start off this myTake by admitting that I am by traditional standards a hot guy. I am a runner, 6’1 and weigh 160 pounds. Gorgeous women who could have anybody they want, have hit on me and my looks are complimented very often for a guy, sometimes even during normal daily activities with no sexual tension built by a social scene whatsoever. I hear guys saying all the time that for skinny guys like me it is easy to get pussy. I am here to prove otherwise.
Growing up I was not in the shape that I am in now. I was the type of kid who was very easy to make fun of because I was over weight and everybody knew I wouldn’t fight back because I was to polite and nice. I was mainly focused on school and didn’t care about chasing women. I had a very negative attitude about my future and didn’t like to think of it much beyond my career plans. My looks were rarely commented on and when they were they were negative comments. I was told by a number of people that I would never get a girlfriend, that they were glad they weren’t like me, and once as a child when I was at the peak of my being overweight that I would never amount to anything (despite my good grades). I could go on but you get the point...
When I went off to college I knew I wanted to change I just didn’t know how. That is how I found girls ask guys randomly on the internet one day freshman year!! I started getting great advice on questions I had for men and or women so I could improve myself purely for my own gain. I was very focused on changing myself for the better and having a successful college career. Now that I am a senior about to graduate I can say all of the ways that I changed through out college. I got into men’s fashion, running, my major, and I learned how to network with people and make a lot of acquaintances.
Because of these changes women started to hit on me a lot more. The largest uptick in flirts happened after I improved my fashion. I had also lost a lot of weight and was by all definitions skinny but I was by no means fit. That is when I started running and working out, eventually I got very fit. The funny thing was I saw absolutely no uptick in flirts from women after that. The take away here is that women generally seem to be equally attracted to just skinny guys and generally don’t care how ripped you are. Although some women definitely are, the large majority won’t. However, I will admit that slimming down is important too. It implies that you are more active and don’t have an unhealthy addiction to food.
I had changed everything I was going to change physically about myself by the time I hit Junior year. By then and certainly by now the majority of people would think that I definitely would have a long list of sexual conquests and a string of short term relationships by now. You would be wrong! Despite my good looks, and overall success and great initial reactions from women that I never thought I would be able to get in high school, I was and still very much so am a virgin, having never gone past kissing and snuggling. I am still in the process of building my trust of people and making and keeping close friends. I was never into having my first time being with a one night stand so I have vowed to wait until I am in a solid relationship with a women I trust.
I have gotten to 23yrs of age without achieving the goal of a long term relationship because the one thing I had yet to improve on was the most important part, my personality. I am still that shy, fat, scared and angry (at the world) kid that I was back in high school in my mind. This creates a desperate, nervous, fake, and overall terrible personality that few people actually want to hang out with. This leads to me rarely meeting women in the right places to date or hook up because I was usually in my apartment alone on the weekends. I wasn’t outgoing enough or able to trust other people (because of the way I was treated as a kid) to create deeper friendships by socializing often and creating memories.
My anti-socializing and anti-fun (overall shitty) personality was first brought to light by my therapist. I was having suicidal thoughts because I didn’t understand why women kept rejecting me after the first or second date and why I was having such a hard time turning acquaintances into close friends. I thought I was worthless. The route cause as it turns out seems to be my distrust of the world which makes me show my cold side to any women who flirts with me and makes me hang back when the opportunity arises to make deeper friendships. I now realize that forcing a nice and polite attitude isn’t enough to make meaningful friendships or romantic relationships. Being yourself does, even if some people don’t like the real you, there are people out there who love the real you.
In conclusion, what I want you to take away from this myTake if you are struggling with finding a meaningful romantic relationship or even just making friends, your main priority should be on improving your personality and view on the world. All the relationships that you make after your personality is optimized (not forcibly changed) will be much deeper and will lead to you surrounding yourself with people that you actually like!!! In just starting to improve my personality I have created deeper more meaningful relationships with my friends then ever before and I know that I can turn that into creating deep and meaningful romantic relationships as well.
P.S: this mytake was made partly in reaction to the bleak outlook on women and human beings in general written in this myTake.
Please don’t take what he said in that myTake seriously, he has no idea what he is talking about.
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