Why Being a Hot Guy Isn't the Be-All, End-All of Life

Why Being a Hot Guy Isn't the Be-All, End-All of Life

I want to start off this myTake by admitting that I am by traditional standards a hot guy. I am a runner, 6’1 and weigh 160 pounds. Gorgeous women who could have anybody they want, have hit on me and my looks are complimented very often for a guy, sometimes even during normal daily activities with no sexual tension built by a social scene whatsoever. I hear guys saying all the time that for skinny guys like me it is easy to get pussy. I am here to prove otherwise.

Growing up I was not in the shape that I am in now. I was the type of kid who was very easy to make fun of because I was over weight and everybody knew I wouldn’t fight back because I was to polite and nice. I was mainly focused on school and didn’t care about chasing women. I had a very negative attitude about my future and didn’t like to think of it much beyond my career plans. My looks were rarely commented on and when they were they were negative comments. I was told by a number of people that I would never get a girlfriend, that they were glad they weren’t like me, and once as a child when I was at the peak of my being overweight that I would never amount to anything (despite my good grades). I could go on but you get the point...

When I went off to college I knew I wanted to change I just didn’t know how. That is how I found girls ask guys randomly on the internet one day freshman year!! I started getting great advice on questions I had for men and or women so I could improve myself purely for my own gain. I was very focused on changing myself for the better and having a successful college career. Now that I am a senior about to graduate I can say all of the ways that I changed through out college. I got into men’s fashion, running, my major, and I learned how to network with people and make a lot of acquaintances.

Why being a hot guy isn’t the end all be all for finding the love of your life!!!

Because of these changes women started to hit on me a lot more. The largest uptick in flirts happened after I improved my fashion. I had also lost a lot of weight and was by all definitions skinny but I was by no means fit. That is when I started running and working out, eventually I got very fit. The funny thing was I saw absolutely no uptick in flirts from women after that. The take away here is that women generally seem to be equally attracted to just skinny guys and generally don’t care how ripped you are. Although some women definitely are, the large majority won’t. However, I will admit that slimming down is important too. It implies that you are more active and don’t have an unhealthy addiction to food.

I had changed everything I was going to change physically about myself by the time I hit Junior year. By then and certainly by now the majority of people would think that I definitely would have a long list of sexual conquests and a string of short term relationships by now. You would be wrong! Despite my good looks, and overall success and great initial reactions from women that I never thought I would be able to get in high school, I was and still very much so am a virgin, having never gone past kissing and snuggling. I am still in the process of building my trust of people and making and keeping close friends. I was never into having my first time being with a one night stand so I have vowed to wait until I am in a solid relationship with a women I trust.

I have gotten to 23yrs of age without achieving the goal of a long term relationship because the one thing I had yet to improve on was the most important part, my personality. I am still that shy, fat, scared and angry (at the world) kid that I was back in high school in my mind. This creates a desperate, nervous, fake, and overall terrible personality that few people actually want to hang out with. This leads to me rarely meeting women in the right places to date or hook up because I was usually in my apartment alone on the weekends. I wasn’t outgoing enough or able to trust other people (because of the way I was treated as a kid) to create deeper friendships by socializing often and creating memories.

Why Being a Hot Guy Isn't the Be-All, End-All of Life

My anti-socializing and anti-fun (overall shitty) personality was first brought to light by my therapist. I was having suicidal thoughts because I didn’t understand why women kept rejecting me after the first or second date and why I was having such a hard time turning acquaintances into close friends. I thought I was worthless. The route cause as it turns out seems to be my distrust of the world which makes me show my cold side to any women who flirts with me and makes me hang back when the opportunity arises to make deeper friendships. I now realize that forcing a nice and polite attitude isn’t enough to make meaningful friendships or romantic relationships. Being yourself does, even if some people don’t like the real you, there are people out there who love the real you.

In conclusion, what I want you to take away from this myTake if you are struggling with finding a meaningful romantic relationship or even just making friends, your main priority should be on improving your personality and view on the world. All the relationships that you make after your personality is optimized (not forcibly changed) will be much deeper and will lead to you surrounding yourself with people that you actually like!!! In just starting to improve my personality I have created deeper more meaningful relationships with my friends then ever before and I know that I can turn that into creating deep and meaningful romantic relationships as well.

P.S: this mytake was made partly in reaction to the bleak outlook on women and human beings in general written in this myTake.

Please don’t take what he said in that myTake seriously, he has no idea what he is talking about.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • sounds like UDS

    Ugly Duckling Syndrome

    which isn't necessarily a bad thing. it's like when a fat girl is really smart and nice and polite, and then she gets really hot but her personality and character never changed in the process, UDS for ya. She can't see herself as hot, so that contributes to her still being the same as before.

    good job on all your accomplishments. do what you gotta do.

    • I had UDS when i was little, now not so much! haha! puberty is awesome isn't it?

    • I guess I have that. :/

    • @sweettckae @melmel1 you girls sound great. talk to me :P lol

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think as you get older, the maturity to accept your imperfections in your personality will come naturally. Everyone has battle scars.
    The thing about scars is they can make a person really ugly, or really sexy... Sounds like you have already identified this so you are doing really well... dont forget you are coming forward and that alone is something to be proud of x

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • You should watch the show New Girl; covers everything you have talked about and might be good relating to such characters.

    You have really good goals and think you are more mentally advanced than most. It would be terrible to think that good looks actually matter because it actually stops people from meeting sincere and meaningful people.
    When you have shallow people blocking the way for that one special person it can be frustrating.
    I have been with some many men that convinced me they loved me for who I was... but the truth was I loved them but they only liked what I made them look like.

    • I have watched that show! Any episodes in particular?

  • My brother is decent looking but he has no job prospect and no social skills. He is 32 and single all his life. Oh and he has debt galore.

    • yikes.. what a life.

  • Its crazy because i grew up the non-popular girl and always used to be teased. Everytime an attractive guy in the school would like be i would loose my chance instantly because the people around me teased me knowing i was shy. My teeth we're horrible and i used to be quite chubby and i was very flat chested.
    2016 now i lost crazy weight and i'm fit with tight legs, had braces but my time was due and took them off, face looks young and adorable and i get so much attention. Its crazy how people never payed any attention to me but claimed they did not that puberty hit and i look totally different.

  • Did you mention girls on dating apps not believing you are real?

    That's what happens to me most of the time

  • i LOVE this! good on you for using your story to convey this REALLY important message.

  • I'm so curious what you look like now 😛

    • www[dot]girlsaskguys. com/how-do-i-look/q1520473-am-i-attractive would bang if i were gay

    • @vnmcwilldiesoon that's hot? Really? Uhh, ok I guess my standards are not traditional lol 😅

    • Or it's just a bad picture..

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  • Nicely said. I have always appreciated a good personality above most all else (except hygiene maybe). Guys reading this should also note that nowhere in here was penis size mentioned. Lol.
    I read that other take previously and agree.
    Your take however encompasses everything a girl is looking for. You'll do well.
    Thanks for the take. 💜

  • Call me sexist but that only for girls.

    As a guy, being hot is not enough.

  • Yea, i never understood how a guy in highschool could have a face that looked like a gremlin then at 25 have a face of a male super model.. like men change in the weirdest way

    • First off I want to know where you found the word gremlin in my mytake because it can’t be found in there. Second of all, it wasn’t my face that changed, it was my body. Can you read?

    • lol first of all... i dont recall saying you used the word gremlin... second of all i dont recall talking about your face... third of all im sure i can read if i can write... fourth you need to loosen up babes... Fifth i was just stating an observation about male faces.. chilll

    • hahahaha the first time I read your comment I read it in a sarcastic tone so it felt like you where insulting me. I went back a second time and read it without sarcasm, now it makes more sense. My bad!! Still have work to do on my personality... hahahaha :)

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  • When I was young, everyone called me ugly. Men and women picked on me. Now I'm older and fit but short. Women never compliment me. Not even the women I date

  • All this says is your fucked if you have an awkward personality so imagine how fucked you are if you have that and look like shit.

    • There is a song about me and you burnt down my house

    • This article is saying that you are never truly totally fucked hahahaha. Even if you are not physically attractive you have a chance if you are a likable person (meaning you are nice and have a good personality and people like you). Some girls like awkward personalities, as long as you are a nice person and are being authentic. A sign of having a good personality is having a lot of friends around you. You don’t even have to be a part of the popular crew, just have a solid group of friends who like hanging out with you and like to do the same things as you do. Women with the same interests will eventually come around and you will have a shot at dating them simply because you have the same interests and she already likes your personality. Of course the amount of women that want to be a part of the group is dependent on the activity hahaha but that is a good thing because you know the women who do come honestly like to do the things you do!

  • How very evolved for a 23yearold, you are like a freaking unicorn!! Love it! Good for you. You will go far Sir if you just keep self evaluating. Goodluck!

  • ur good looking but not hot based on the pic i saw when i went to ur profile, u have good features but still skinny fat and thats different from skinny google it, i have it too. With a few steps you can be hot though

    • If you could look under my clothes you would see that I have 3% body fat and a lean six pack. I run and do crunches to earn that. If I’m skinny fat, then just about everybody is skinny fat. I would suggest you do the same as me if you don’t want to be skinny fat, I already know what that is.

    • i suggest you visit this forum called sluthate guys who are actually as hot as you think you are, are directly approached for sex by women regardless of personality, even in real life

  • Sounds like you need a life coach

    • I already have a therapist, did you even read to the bottom?

    • You suffer from Paranoia and social anxiety. :P.

    • This guy is not "hot." Anybody who needs a therapist at age 23 is not hot. I am attracted to hot guys and their looks have very little to do with it. It is their brains and their personality that makes them hot. Using a "my Take" to tell the entire world you are hot is ridiculous. Well I'm here to tell everybody that I have the tightest and most beautiful pussy this side of the planet Pluto. Does that make it so? Of course not. I'd start with a psychiatrist if I were you. I would add Prozac or Zoloft. Stay with the guy for one year and then reevaluate your condition. Be certain to discuss with your psychiatrist – did you hear me psychiatrist – why you feel the need to broadcast how hot you are. Then add the next four medicines he recommends. Reading this one was a waste of my time.

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  • Beautiful mytake. I can somewhat relate to you. When I was in middle school and freshman yr in high school, lets just say, I wasn't the prettiest or the fittest. In short, I would get bullied and then I would eat my emotions. But in sophomore year, I changed my lifestyle, I started running every single day, swimming every other day, and changing my eating habits.

    Its not really about how I look, but more how I feel about myself, which I am proud of my small accomplishments.

    However there are times when I still feel like that chubby girl who would get bullied and eat her emotions :/

    Best wishes

  • A good my take my friend and best of luck on your journey to improving yourself and as the saying goes you have to love, like and be comfortable in your own skin before you can ever hope for other people feel and see you in the same light.

    Keep up the good work.

  • Lol show a picture of what you look like if you're really "a hot guy"

    • -> first comment under my opinion :P

  • Narcissist.

  • We all have our issues there is no doubt about it. What's important now is that you improve FOR YOURSELF, not to get a girlfriend or friends, etc. You need to be cool with yourself before you're cool with anybody else. Once you start projecting your true personality you'll start building your inner circle.
    YOUR VIBE ATTRACTS YOUR TRIBE!
    Sounds like you're on the right track, good luck!

    • Was that a line from National Enquirer?

    • @KattFeesh no

  • I stopped reading at 160 pounds haha. Most gag girls weigh more than you lol time to lift weights kiddo

    • Im a marathon runner I will never, ever, ever lift weights. I've found the opposite to be true as far as attraction goes and I probably wouldn’t date a girl who weighed that much, a little heavy for me. Your girlfriend must be a ton of fun...

    • I know this opinion has nothing to do with me but holy shit take owner I laughed at that one "A ton of fun". Very punny 😂

    • Actually most girls that weight that much are very fat. Unless they are tall. For instance I am 5'2 and weigh 114 pounds. I am at a healthy weight and have been working on getting in even better shape. My wieght range is 103-130

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