"PUA" Explained - And the Real Reasons Women Hate It!

So, I've seen some misconceptions around about "PUA" or as we regular people call it, "game." I'm going to give you a rundown of what "Game" actually is, as well as why women decry it as empty, narcissitic, misogynistic, and manipulative... while they finish putting in $10 worth of makeup to artificially make themselves look more sexually attractive.

1. Game is learning human interactions.

Some of you are in sales, customer service, hospitality, contract negotiation... depending on the job, some of you must deal with people quite a lot. Or maybe you don't. Either way, your job requires skills. Patience, courtesy, attention to detail, focus, etc. Maybe you naturally had some of these skills. Maybe your parents taught you. Maybe you got written up at work a few times before you really learned it on the job. "PUA" stuff, AKA Game, is the skill of learning how to be attractive to women. Some of us were born with traits that help, some of us learned it as kids, some of us had to learn it as adults. Just as women often must learn to use their sexuality to be attractive... men quite often have to as well.

"PUA" Explained - And the Real Reasons Women Hate It!

All this time you thought women just couldn't stand to have skin hidden from the sun, didn't you?

While men judge women primarily on physical attractiveness and secondary on personality, women have a much broader test for men, and place much more importance on charisma, confidence, wit, humor. While good clothing items and the gym are there to help you with your style and looks, Game exists to help with your personality. As high school and college boys lament, treating a girl the same way you treat a guy friend or such will not help. There's a reason why so many guys end up becoming "jerks" after seeing what works, and taking one form of Game--yes, there are multiple approaches and strategies. They are working to give women what they want, no different from a girl who works out and puts on a string bikini to get male attention at the pool.

2. So what is game?

"PUA" Explained - And the Real Reasons Women Hate It!

Game is like anything else. If you go to a handgun class, you will learn different stances, operation of handguns, aiming, movement, etc. Center Axis Relock is great for extreme close quarters. Weaver is good for medium range. Isosceles is good for long range pistol shooting. Similarly, different teachers will teach you different things. If you look up US Army training manuals, it will be different from a police class. Different strategies from different sources, and different strategies for different situations.

Game, is learning ways to interact with women that will build attraction and that women will enjoy, with different tactics for different situations. It's the male version of a girl leaning over a table so someone gets a good look at her cleavage. Unfortunately, as the sexes are quite different, it's a bit more complicated.

"PUA" Explained - And the Real Reasons Women Hate It!

For instance, the notorious "Jerk Game" is exactly what it sounds like. A man who is extremely arrogant and uncaring in his interactions. It works sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't. I've had mixed results with it and personally don't like it. See, just as there are different Game strategies for different situations, there are different game strategies that work better or worse with your personality. If you want to learn more, I recommend the blog Chateau Heariste, where pretty little lies perish. It's a blog, and 100% free. No, there is no subscription, special videos or events to pay for. You can donate if you want, but that's optional. No content is hidden.

Example: one game item I learned, showing confidence and humor, was quite simple and is quite enjoyable. I was at a social event, getting bored, and I saw a girl sitting at a table. I had spoken maybe a sentence or two to her earlier, but that was it. I could have gone over to the table to try to chat her up, or hoped she would notice me, or been bored and stood alone... instead, I waited until she glanced over in my direction, caught her eye, and simply did a "come here" motion.

"PUA" Explained - And the Real Reasons Women Hate It!

Nooot quite like that. But the effect was similar. She paused for a moment, looking unsure. I smirked a little, raised an eyebrow, and did it once more. She turned, said something to her compatriots at the table, and walked the 15 feet or so over to me. We had some fun! No, it did not lead to sex, nor did it need to. Enjoying yourself with an attractive member of the opposite sex is a good reward in and of itself.

In short, game is simply learning different social interaction methods that women find attractive. Some men, and many women will tell you this is shallow, narcissistic, false, wrong. For one, women don't really have room to talk. In 2016 alone, the US Cosmetics Industry made about 62 billion dollars.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/243742/revenue-of-the-cosmetic-industry-in-the-us/

"PUA" Explained - And the Real Reasons Women Hate It!

And yet... these same people would lecture you or I for simply taking the time to learn social skills and how to give women what they want--men who they find attractive and enjoyable to be around. Why should women have to suffer boring dating/sex lives, or spend their nights competing for the attention of a thug, simply because decent, regular men were too stupid or too lazy to learn how to be fun dates and partners?

For two, I would ask you how much of life is not "changing yourself" to please others. Tell me, do you naturally get up at 6am? Or do you just do that to get to work or school on time? Maybe you're not naturally punctual. Think your manager would be accepting of that? Do you naturally eat good food, or is that simply denying "who you are" by not pigging out on ice cream and ending up like a whale?

Point is simply, all of life is "changing yourself" in one way or another to have a good life and achieve goals.

3. Why do women hate game?

Women are naturally pickier about sex, than most men are, simply because we don't get pregnant. They do. So they get upset about "game" and call it "rape" for a few very simple reasons.

Women both unconsciously, and sometimes consciously, want the best genetic material, and hence, they want men who have sexy charisma "naturally." They don't want men who had to learn it, or be told/explained.

Or as Selena put it, "You are the thunder and I am the lighting and I love the way you know who are you, and to me it's exciting!"


When you or I or him learn game and become more attractive, it messes with their senses of who's a natural cool guy, who's actually attractive, and who in their mind, is "just wearing makeup." Like them.

Hence, it messes with their mate selection, and if they find out the person was not born "Alpha" it's rape, to them. Now imagine if you could charge every make up wearing woman you had sex with for rape... dang, the entire female population would be in prison. Hypocrisy aside, keep this in mind--if a woman gets the notion that you're a "faker" in any way, the fangs will come out.

"PUA" Explained - And the Real Reasons Women Hate It!

4. No, game does not work miracles.

Game won't get you Selena Gomez, or Gina Carano. Probably. Game isn't here to work miracles--game is here to help you reach your potential. Just as working out and wearing a bikini won't make a plain girl look like a 10, learning game won't make panties fall off when you drop in a room. Like anything else, game is there to help you be all you can be, and it indeed takes practice before you get the hang of it. When learning something new, first it takes focus. Then it becomes easier. Then it becomes muscle memory, and like driving, you could do it half asleep.

"PUA" Explained - And the Real Reasons Women Hate It!


In short... no, game isn't rape, game isn't misogynistic. Not anymore than women learning how to be seductive, or wearing makeup/sexy clothing is rape or misandry. Game isn't "PUA Trash" it is quite simply learning how to be attractive and enjoyable company to women. And yes, some of it will work splendidly, because it plays on simple female nature and provides what they want, just as a bikini makes a woman more attractive. Now, on with your day. Go outside, go to the mall, starbucks, a clothing store, and go hit on some cute girl. It'll put a spring in her step and yours!

2 7

Most Helpful Girl

  • Two disturbing sides to game:

    Firstly this idea that sex is a game and that women are there to be conquered, that when you have sex with her you are winning and she is losing, that it is just about sex and not a connection or even mutual pleasure, they view sex as something you do to someone not with them. Only a very insecure person would view a woman fucking them as a failure on their part. Like their is something so wrong with them fucking them makes the woman bad in some way.

    Secondly this idea that you can somehow ovveride a woman's autonomy, that a woman is like a robot you can programme to give you sexual pleasure. I see both of these aspects on Roisseys and Rollos blog. I assume your username is a reference to the latter.

    If you pursue sex that's all you will get whereas if you pursue other things in life like confidence, health, success you will get those and most likely healthy relationships with women as well.

    Not all game is empty, narcissitic, misogynistic and manipulative but the example you use, jerk game, is. Women don't like it cos they don't like being lied to. It takes an insecure person to change there whole personality just to get sex. Like you think your true self is so repulsive a woman would never fuck you as you are.

    You use the make up analogy so I'll run with it. Some women use make up to enhance their natural beauty. Most guys like this and actually prefer it to no makeup. But some women take it too far and use loads of makeup which most men find off putting. You can use routines, lines and sets to increase your confidence in approaching women. This seems harmless enough. It's more about increasing your confidence than what you actually say. It's not the line itself, that's just a crutch you use for something to say. But when you create a whole fake persona, like in jerk game, it's fake and disengenous like Kim kardasians face.

    • Also I think the only reason people assosciate rape with PUA is cos they write about rape game and how rape should be legal.

    • Hmm. Your second point--it's not about over riding a woman's autonomy. Actual rape is about over riding a woman's autonomy. Game is about learning to be attractive as possible with women. It's no more "over riding autonomy" than a woman wearing a bikini or hitting the gym regularly is about turning men into robots. First point--really varies on who you talk to. For some guys, they do want casual sex and literally are out to get a huge notch count. For a lot of guys, it's simply about getting dates, having romantic relationships. And yes, a woman being promiscious is bad for her, and bad for society. There certainly is an aspect of Game people who are drinking as the titantic sinks. Or kicking more holes in the hull. Likewise, there are female versions who are just as bad, if not worse. For three, practice becomes persona. Some guys might entirely want to change. And they literally might end up becoming completely different people. That's changing, not faking.

    • You claim game cannot make a woman sleep with you which is the healthy way to look at it. But not all PUAs feel this way and some talk about NLP techniques like you can literally hypnotise a woman into fucking you. You say female promiscuity is harmful for women and society. I wonder if you feel the same way about male promiscuity. The only way straight woman can be promiscuous is if they have a man to be promiscuous with. Some PUAs act like when a man has causal sex he is doing something good and the woman something bad. This is logically incoherent as they are involved in the same act. The only way to make this view coherent is to claim women are responsible for mens actions. This is old school misogyny going back to biblical times, Adam bit the apple but it is Eves fault for tempting him. It is also quite misandrist to act like men have no self control and are just slaves to their baser instincts. I think it is sad for men to feel they have to change their whole self for sex.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The main problem with PUA is that most men there are totally fake and womanizers who are using woman, and many PUA methods are very controversial or even illegal. The only thing that PUA shows is that it's easier to fake personality then it's to fake looks. Did you heard about rape by deception? many PUA methods are crossing this line, and that why many women hate PUA, they don't want to be victims of rape by deception. Personally I highly value honesty, and I believe that more women would value it as well, most PUA are more of a snake then a wolf, there is nothing Alpha about them, especially when they get exposed.

    images4.fanpop.com/.../...ark-24488539-878-575.jpg

    • Well do tell. What PUA methods are rape by deception? Links? In Israel is Game drugging girl's drinks or something? What do you people do over there?

    • Nothing to do with drugs and/or alcohol, when a guy lie too much to a girl to get her in bed it's rape by deception, and many PUA are big and amoral liers and impersonators.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_by_deception

      business-ethics.com/.../...0004731560S_Feature.jpg

    • I love how you provided a link to wikipeia... Not to a game website to prove anything you're claiming

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 18
  • "Women are naturally pickier about sex, than most men are, simply because we don't get pregnant."

    I'm not sure how true this is in modern times.

    Sex = pregnancy = child birth = parenthood... is no longer true.

    There is a way to break that chain every step of the way. Birth control and condoms. Bam, no longer pregnant. Pregnant? Abortion (or plan B) Bam, no longer have child birth. Had child birth? Adopt out. Bam, no longer a parent. Biological father not giving you his consent to adopt out? Leave the child off safely at a safe haven. Bam, no longer a parent.

    Women have the ability to completely absolve and relieve themselves of the responsibility of sex every step of the process. Men don't have that ability. For men, having sex is equivalent to subjecting themselves to the risks of unwanted and undesired parental liability.

    So, between "human" men and women, the "Red Queen" theory doesn't really apply in modern times.

    This is exactly why, if someone is actually out in the field and breaks from from this PUA hypnosis, they'll realize that it's the other way around. Women hit on men MORE than men hit on women.

    I remember this one girl that I was having sex with for the second time. The "first" time has just 8-12 hours before the "second" time. As I'm getting close, she's like, "Just finish inside me, I'm on birth control." Inside, I'm like, "LOL, HAHAHA! You're hilarious. No thank you!" Outside, I'm like, "It's ok." Anything else sweetheart? Would you like me to name you in my Will too?

    Point is, men are more terrified of conception occurring, because "for men," once conception occurs, it's game over from there. Men have lost control from there. They have zero options. Their life and liberty, their freedom, is literally up to the whims of whatever the woman decides to do. For women, that risk and sense of complete loss of control is not there.

    There have been plenty of times where a girl has wanted to take things to a sexual level, and as diplomatically as possible, my answer was simply, "Fuck to the no." Why? "Because you look like a crazy bitch, and I don't have sex with crazy bitches; that's why."

    • Fifty years of advancement doesn't change what all of human history put in female instinct

    • It does change it. You can pull out studies on the observed rate that women engage in casual sex outside of a marital relationship, and run it side-by-side when the birth control pill and contraceptives were openly available and used in the market. And that's just birth control. Run it along Plan B. It would be more difficult to run it against major child support cases, but you can run the data against the first DNA-based paternity test, and see the effect on sexual behavior. Considering the 10,000+ years of evolutionary programming, it's actually quite remarkable how drastically female sexual behavior has changed in just 50 years. By the same token, male sexual behavior has also changed. Men play a less active and less proactive role, as a whole. Men are more cautious when it comes to sex, perhaps the most cautious they have been throughout every other generation.

  • Nah. I don't hate game because I get "tricked" or whatever the fuck you tried to claim about rape. I hate ~*~game~*~ because it's usually fake. It's staged. It's planned out. It's like interacting with a robot that's trying its best to calculate your every move. It's thinking too hard about something that's actually pretty simple. It takes the fun out of actually interacting with someone because it literally becomes a game to them.
    My brother has this routine when he takes his "special" women out (who are more than just sex to him). First, he grabs a coffee with them and takes a stroll around the city. Then he invites them to his place, grabs a bottle of champagne from his fridge and two glasses, then heads out again for a drink in the sunset. It sounds pretty cool when you say it like that... if it actually was spontaneous and not something he does with literally every girl he sees at least some kind of potential in. It becomes fake. Boring. Predictable. And that's why I hate "game". It gives absolutely no room for spontaneity, everything turns into calculating your every move for the best possible outcome (whether that's sex or a relationship doesn't matter), you stop treating the other person as a human being and you start treating them like a wild animal you're trying to hunt. It's downright pathetic and no way to treat other people, even if your intentions aren't directly to play them.

    • Hmm. Is it pathetic? There are some guys who are spontaneous. But like many things, it is a learned skill for many men.

    • It is pathetic because like I said, they stop treating the other person as a person, and more like a personal achievement or obstacle that you have to overcome. That's not how you should interact with people. It destroys individualism.

    • Hmm. Don't we do the exact same things at work? At job interviews? Sales? Even in team videogames? We find out how to work with people to achieve desired results. Your instinct is it should be natural, just as Selena sang, but very little in life is natural. It's learned.

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  • I think the problem is not that you learned something new. Everything in life is learned whether it was taught to you or whether you learned it naturally. That isn't the problem here.

    Women dont like it when a guys is being fake. So if a guy is using PUA tricks and not being himself, then thats what women dont like.

    I have read some PUA material and would agree that most of it is crap, but there are some valuable things that i learned from this kind of material. I think its important to learn something that changes you as a person and isn't a one off trick to try and get laid. 'Game' is about improving yourself as a person so you become a better more attractive man.

    • ... did you read the MyTake or just the title?

  • They're both f*cking idiots...

  • This funny and stupid. Here funny story. My friend who is look better and smarter than me try get this girl, but she like me instead of him. My friend had dated models so I no near his level of girl he get, but this girl choose me over him, this I learn there always someone for someone, just be yourself and have fun

  • On one hand I love the take - in fact this could be one of the best and most relevant takes to this website I've ever read. Both men AND women need to read this to differentiate between someone who has game (even the jerk game) and someone who is a legitimate douchebag

    However, I dislike the term 'pick up artist', it brings up connotations of someone selling what people used to be taught naturally. Most of these people are legitimate douchebags because they use this 'game' for the sole purpose of toying with women (real men don't do this) - which is VERY different from using it to finding the one woman worth giving your attention to and having a relationship with.

    I think people who lack game naturally would do well not to attempt to emulate right away those who do posses it, because *most* of the time they have no idea how to control that new ability and end up hurting women. They should learn slowly and gradually so that they learn where not to cross the line.

  • I remember way back in the day when guys like style and Mystery were trying to bring PUA into the mainstream forefront. Style was on doctor Phil (who surprisingly endorses pickup), and there were women in the audience saying stuff like, "learning to do this is unnatural for men," And Dr. Phill said, "well women had to teach you do dress up nice and put on makeup to attract somebody, so why can't men do the same?" And that literally shut up all the women in the audience and there was dead silence.

  • I was a member of the PUA community for years. I learned some good stuff from the good guys, I went from being completely hopeless with women to getting laid regularly, without any of the lying or manipulative techniques. I learned from a few of the best guys though, there is a lot of bullshit there though, guys who have no clue themselves charging other clueless guys hundreds. It's like the blind leading the blind most of the time. Often these guys are very good at making girls laugh and being super social, so it looks like they're good with women, but they rarely get laid because while they're entertaining women don't find them attractive.

    The main problem I see in the PUA community is people wanting to learn game rather than fixing themselves. They're fat/skinny/out of shape, dress like shit, often work shit jobs, usually not very masculine (probably why they need help with women, most had no strong male role. model growing up), many have mental health issues such as depression, anxiety etc. But rather than sort all. of that out they want to learn game because the scam artists tell them that with game they can be fat, weak, broke losers and still get hot girls.

  • PUA are words SJWs use and CIS white male privlige to demonise any male activity with female in the vicinity.

    most of their pick up "games" dont work. because most of their techniques invove treating the female like shit then she leaves with him because nobody else has stepped in.

    • That's what someone who has never learned any game says.

    • There were some good PUA's out there that mainly work on bringing out someone's natural charisma.

    • like roofies games? no thanks. remember you aren't my age yet.

  • I agree with the basic premise of this article but as someone with experience of game, PUA, whatever, I can tell you that's not the reason women call it rape. They call it rape because some of the aggressive, persistent tactics advocated by guys like Roosh V who give game a bad name.

    • I read Rollo and roissy, not roosh. So you'd have to provide a link.

    • Check out Reggie Yates' documentary on PUA in UK:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnrQMxYUDPM

      Also: Roosh V's forum and the return of kings website:

      https://www.rooshvforum.com/

      https://www.returnofkings.com/

      Don't get me wrong, there's good eggs and bad eggs. I tend to read Mark Manson and stick to RSD stuff for the most part. Manson's stuff is top notch, RSD is so-so. I haven't read those guys - Rollo and Roissy. Well a very little bit of Rollo but Roissy I never heard of until you mentioned the guy.

      It would be better if PUA was based more exclusively on real interactions - infield footage - and maybe some empirical studies as well - including but not limited to surveys. I don't tend to take people's theories seriously until they've gone out there and tried them out.

  • I see people who pay for the PUA courses as pathetic individuals, some of whom may be potentially dangerous in an Elliot Roger sort of way.
    If a man has to pretend to be someone who he is not for a girl to be interested in him, then he has targeted the wrong girl.
    The next morning, the game will be gone when they both wake and begin to talk. If he has decided that he really likes that girl and wants more than a pump and dump, he has set himself up for rejection once she realises that the man with whom she went to bed was not the same person with whom she woke.
    Perhaps I am wrong.
    That might be how it has to be done in this fucked-up modern world.
    When I was a teenager and then a 20-something I could almost not get a date. I had old-fashioned honourable intentions and was looking for that one special girl to love.
    The girls wanted players and sociopathic bad boys who used, abused and pumped and dumped them. They went crawling back, begging for more use and abuse.
    That seems to be what most young women want.

    • Hmm. Thing is, Elliot Rogers despised "PUA" stuff. He didn't try to learn game, he didn't try to be social and outgoing and learn how to flirt. He was the exact opposite of someone who reads blogs or buys a book to learn how to flirt and be social and be an attractive man. The other thing is, practice becomes who you are. Example: once upon a time, I was a shy, quiet kid who didn't talk much. I started learning game, and decided to practice striking up short, playful conversations to be social... various situations where you have 30 seconds to have a tiny conversation, with some flirting and banter. Now it's habit. I'll be in tiny situations with a few seconds to spare, and it's just force of habit to make a small joke, flirt with this girl or that.

  • Good take. Quite informative, did take care of basics. There is at least basic understanding.

    • Yup, it's only supposed to be a basic explanation.

  • YES!
    Is this really Rollo?

    • Actually, no. I picked that as my username when I just wanted to browse, like a tiny tribute. I never intended to write articles under the name... I need to see about having it changed.

    • Ah... fake noob then. Just browsed.. seemed plausible anyway. Maybe I'll read it again. So many that think they're experts here. It's like going back to high school.

  • Let me assure you PUA is BULLSHIT!!! Smart women can easily see past these bullshit tactics taught by pick-up artists from around the world.
    Are you reasonably attractive?
    Are you financially stable?
    Are you trying to pursue someone who is in your league?
    If you can't answer "yes" to any of these questions PUA is not going to help you.

    • you'd be surprised at what game can do whether you are male or female. i hope the woman too can answer "yes" to all those questions as well. y'all have a bad habit of wanting over the top but giving only "what you can give". Have it first, then demand it.

    • @Tdieseler I don't know about other women but I have a checklist of what I want in a man. If he can't meet those requirements, no amount of "games" will help improve his chances with me.

    • u said "smart women" ur talking about mythical creatures

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  • Haha. I liked tgis mytake. But who would compare game with rape?

  • "The Game" book by Neil Strauss really fucked up the PUA community. Or rather it held it back quite a bit. I studied RSD for a long while and recently got my first product with them.

    "Pick-up" isn't really about attracting women. It's about learning to be yourself and stop getting in your own way. Learning how to not let other's judgements affect you and learning that not everyone is going to like you. You're not going to get every woman to like you, and if you do, you're not being yourself, and they're not going to LOVE you. You will get rejected. A LOT. But if you make it sound fun and playfully make it sound absurd then it won't really feel like a rejection.

    The key things to note to go into this is to be 110% authentic, be passionate, and have fun. Don't worry about the tiny nuances, or the techniques. If it's not coming from a place of giving and authenticity then you're not going to get anywhere.

    Also, this doesn't only apply to finding women for us guys. It also helps us forge amazing relationships with new friends and even can help us get that promotion at work.

  • I saw Scorpion and instantly just wanted to crouch and low kick someone until they died.

  • #NiceTake

  • Yes and no. The problem is I agree that PUA stuff is pretending to be someone else (rather than being more confident they say you have to be rude/brash etc). Not to mention it churns out rubbish like "only poor unemployed brash guys get sex, whilst a person with a job who even pays for a single date will not".

    But on the other hand, women claim they want one thing (good guy who is respectful and subtle) yet reward through their actions pua style behavior or guys who are less sweet.

    Pls check this out if you can and opine? Just posted it: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a27854-woman-hears-the-exact-same-thing-from-two-guys-but-she-reacts

  • pseudo-science, grand claims based on anecdotal evidence, cognitive biases, and fallacies everywhere.

    • Sooo what you mean is, you don't think there's any ways to learn to be more attractive to the opposite sex, or ways to be more attractive to women. It's just blind luck, you think.

    • No. False dichotomy, by the way. I just mean the "research" to prove these methods ("game") work is terribly flawed. The day when it is scientifically established beyond any doubt some such method does make you more attractive, with proper studies and statistics and decent sample sizes, or neuro-biology or such (instead of "I hitted on 100 women and it worked with 3" or "I heard it worked for some guy"), I'll change my mind. As for your last proposition, that I might think it is only about luck. Frankly, I can't make one such a claim, either. Again, because I have no proper research to back up one such a claim.

    • YES!!! This anon knows what he's talking about!

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