The Only Difference Between Nice Guys and Good Guys? Looks and Social Status

[HenryThePrideful]

Let's look at a scenario here:

We have Brian. Brian is a good looking guy who is 6'2 and is kind to everyone.

Because Brian was born with good looks people would want to socialize with him more and be friends. By making more friends Brian gets access to a wider pool of girls that would notice him and consider him for lover/boyfriend.

If Brian is kind and decent to everyone then that just makes him even more appealing and girls can rationalize and hamster in their mind that Brian is such a good guy because he's a great person with a lovely character. So they can convince themselves they aren't going for Brian due superficial reasons but because he's such a wonderful person.

Let's look at Jamal (IB4 Male gagers talk about their male friend who is ugly and short that slays mad pussy but will never post up a pic and think that their friend's experience is the same as everyone else)

Jamal is a 5'8 black guy with average face. Jamal has nothing physically that stands out about him and has a smaller pool of friends compared to Brian even if he actively tries to make new friends people put him as an acquaintance level at best and he gets less opportunity to hang out with girls from other social groups.

So Jamal gets a smaller pool of girls who notice he exist and and even smaller pool of girls who want a relationship with him some of which might be down right ugly and total slobs.

But you know what we get demonize by women when we want to have standards and not force ourselves into a relationship with a girl we don't find attractive. Many women in this day and age think they should have a right to determine/tell a man what kind of girl is worthy of him while they themselves are allowed to hold onto their standards and hold out for mr. perfect. If a man tells a woman she is delusional expecting to get a certain guy when she doesn't even bring fraction of that to the table he is labeled a misogynist.

Despite Jamal being a decent guy and kind and helpful to everyone, no one gives a shit. Girls who are better looking or on his level of looks thinks he's nice because he wants to get into their pants and demonize him as a "nice guy'. Especially if Jamal gets a little bent out of shape of them only wanting to talk to him when they need something but never giving a shit about him after they get what they want.

It's funny women say they don't like guys who are push overs and bend to their will but will attack a male if he no longer wants to be her slaves/app service and continuously do favors for her while getting nothing out of it. It's the same with male friends who realize the relationship with women is one sided and stop helping their female friends over and over, women attack them as nothing being truly nice and only being nice because they were trying to get into their pants.

So girls demonize him as a nice guy and the other guy as a good guy. The difference between the 2 men is the social status, and looks each men were born with.

Granted there are assholes/players who pretend to be good guys to get into a girl's pants but the vast majority of guys are good by nature because you would want to treat others based on how you'd like to be treated.

Yet, people have this "I don't owe you anything mentality" today and are veru solipsistic. They can't see the reason behind someone no longer wanting to help them if you are disrespectful piece of shit to them, don't care for them, or only want to use them.

They can't seem to figure out why a person who is good by nature would get tired of going out of there way to help a person who only want the benefits but never reciprocate and they always try to rationalize it by saying the person wasn't really nice they were just being nice to get something from me and they come to this conclusion because they are users and that's how they think. They can't fathom they were being nice because they wanted to treat others how they'd like to be treated.

The whole perception of demonizing one man and thinking the other is a great guy all come back to disney movies. We see the handsome prince is usually some dashing handsome, tall male. So women associate that men who are good looking and tall must thereby be a good person by default.

It's one the reason why male players who are good looking can fool so many women and they are left crying questioning their view of the world when he uses them for sex.

Meanwhile while a woman will not outright demonize an average/ugly as a monster off the bat because that would be looked as less than PC and make them look shallow.

They will use any instance of any negative sign that they would of excused the handsome guy for to demonize and attack their character (creep shaming), and get confirmation that they are bad person. Basically they are just looking for any little excuse to justify you are a monster.

[slimstiffy]

Dude.. Thats not how it works... Im tired of this nice guy bullshit but im gonna bother commenting...
If you are a pushover, you are not attractive thats it. Men won't take you serious, women won't consider you for anything serious. Thats the short and long end if it..

Brian can be as good looking and as nice as he can be. If he's a pussy, he will get 0 girls. Zero.
Girls basically want a strong guy eho doesn't take shit, but who is also a kindhearyed and nice person. Unfortunately very few men have all of these characteristsics.. So they will settle for some.
Oh and about women being pissed when you stop doing favours and being nice...
Women get used to peoples behaviour. They dont like it when you change. Actually many men too. Si what you can di here is:
A) dont be a pushover from the start
Or
If uts too late
B) not give a fuck and tell her to fuck off..

[HenryThePrideful]

It seems you don't read. Being nice to people and helping them is pushover? The reason the nice guy is being demonized by women is when he is doing the exact opposite of what you just said "stop being a pushover" And you again making big assumptions of Brian and showing your very warp biasness. Being nice does not mean you are a pussy. Who told you this and if you would bother and read Brian stood up to the girl for using him. He basically stopped helping her and was demonized and accuse by women for being nice to get into her pants. i. e. The woman revealed what she really thought about him once she had finally realize she could no longer get benefits from their relationship. Oh and your last part of women getting acustom. Well it's too bad. Women need to realize the world isn't fix and people aren't apps. Hell even services are constant. And you keep contradicting yourself. On the one hand you don't want Brian to be a push over

[HenryThePrideful]

But on the other hand you want him to not say a peep and continue to get used by women. Make up your mind.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

This isn't true. Many young women like weak guys these days. I blame it on this "gender mean nothing" movement (Which isn't true), or "Men, and women are the same" notions.

[slimstiffy]

There is being polite and there is such a thing as too nice. When you are too nice , you are weak. People get used to that shit man. When you are just nice and help people all the time they start expecting that from you. Dont think that everyone will be grateful. And guys who keep doing that ARE pushovers. A man with a sense of self respect will not go out of his way to help other people all the time while forsaking his own work/time unless it seems really necessary. Thats just how the world is mann. And i didn't say he should keep getting used by women. Thats just stupid. I meant that he simply shouldn't do anything for women. Dont be a pushover and then bitch about it. Instead, just dont be one! Thats what i said

[slimstiffy]

@EnglishArtsteacher yeah but social conditioning can't trump biology. A woman won't really be happy with her man if she feels that he is being a wuss all the time

[kaylaS91]

I love how a bit part of your take is basically your being upset that people, namely girls, don't treat 'nice guys' better than anyone else solely because they're nice. Because, being nice is super taxing on them, and very charitable, right?

Bless your heart for thinking that dating and selecting a good mate is as simple as just choosing to be with the guy who is the nicest. That anyone who chooses a guy who is not a self-proclaimed 'nice guy' is demonizing him..

Funny, because the only people I hear who care to waste time on bitching about things like this are the 'nice guys'. Who, I don't think are genuinely 'nice' if they spend time writing multiple rants online complaining about women whose standards they didn't fall into, and at the same time insulting the guys who were lucky enough to meet more success with females.

[IamLouise]

I don't think the mytake owner is saying girl's don't treat nice girls better but that girls have a habit of demonizing nice guys as being fake nice while guys who do the exact same thing for women but is good looking is percieved by women has having good character and being a genuine nice person who helps people because he wants to. What he is saying is that many girls like to have one sided relationship with guy's who are "nice guys" and use them. When these men stop helping or put their foot down many women demonize the nice guys as only being nice because he wanted to get into her pants and not realizing he stopped being nice because he was being taken advantage of. And your last paragraph prove his point. A guy who complains about girls using him are labelled by women as not being truly nice so they can shame him while excusing themselves of using men like this.

[Raymond_Reddington]

Self proclaimed nice guys, mind you ;)

[kaylaS91]

@IamLouise perhaps. But are you saying that men aren't equally at fault for perceiving good looking women as having good character or more desirable 'traits' ie. bodies than not so attractive females? Regarding your first point, that 'girls have a habit of demonizing nice guys as being fake'... I guess I missed the memo where guys who write essays bitching about girls tending to prefer someone who is physically/sexually attractive to them over someone not so attractive equates to them being shallow. Tell this 'nice guy' that just because a guy is good looking doesn't mean he's an ass by default. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if nice guys spent more time actively seeking women than bitching online, perhaps they'd get a bigger share of these 'assholes' success.

[IamLouise]

Both men and women think good looking people have good characters when they put on the good guy, girl act. A girl i know was good looking and acted like a nice girl and even i didn't pick up on the fact she was a pathological liar and liked using guys until it was too late. However, when it comes to less attractive men and women being nice I don't think anyone here attacks nice girls for being nice to get a guy more attractive than her to sleep with him. There is no movement demonizing nice girls like their is nice guys. Now I'm sure some girls do go this route to get relationship from men more attractive than them but men don't seem to attack women for doing it like women tend to do for men doing it.

[kaylaS91]

@IamLouise Nobody attacks nice girls for being nice to get a guy more attractive than her to sleep with him because the guy is usually equally willing to stick it in her, no? Or are you going to argue that men are just as picky as women are in who they agree to sleep with?

[IamLouise]

You really believe men will stick their dick in anything don't ya. And your reasoning is flawed and without logic. I'll break it down. NIce girl tries being nice to get more attractive guy to date/sleep with her. Attractive guy (similar to girls) does not find her physically attractive. Yet, i don't see society and men going up in masses forming campaigns demonizing nice girls.

[kaylaS91]

@IamLouise I don't believe that, personally. Not the guys that I hang around, at least. I have heard several guys from many other cliques tell me that themselves, though. That they'd be not too picky at all with who they sleep with if she's willing and granted that there are NSA.

[Junlian]

I am that Jamal guy 99.9% and I must say. I don't wanT FUCKING SEX!! I was taught to say yes ma'am and yes sir. Since I'm a Christian I was taught not do a lot of things and never stand by watch another suffer or in need of help. SEX IS LAST TO NONE ON MY MIND WHEN I HELP LADIES. Hear me out. LAST!!! I help cause that's what I do to make me feel better and make sure she understands. Like this post says. Now a days these girls don't know what do when a see a genuine nice guy who was raised to be nice. My last girlfriend was baffled on what do. Every time walk her home, bring her flowers, and try to spend time with her, help her out!! I mean her back was hurting so bad, I asked my boss to hire my sister to help her. ( both worked same place but different occupation) I mean went out of my way just see her smile. All I got was COLD COLD COLD responses.( all her friends thought I was nice) Every girl I've been nice to before and after a relationship gets cut short cuz she don't know how to react to nice guys. I was nice enough to give a married girl $300 to pay her bills and wanted nothing back ( different girl, we still talk.) I love this Mytake.

[samhradh_leannan]

Nope

[pr3ttybr0wn]

If you are only nice just so you can get laid, then you aren't truly nice. You're just manipulative and you can't get mad when your manipulation doesn't work on the people you try it with.

[HenryThePrideful]

That's not what i'm saying. Girls calling nice guys exactly like your doing " only nice just so you can get laid" just because they stop wanting to help women and call them out using them. This isn't nice guys being nice to get laid that's not what the take about. This is women's perception of 2 men motive for being nice and the backlash the less attractive men gets when he no longer wishes to be used. The attractive guy is perceived by women to genuinely be doing nice because he has the attraction already. It all comes back to percieved value. The women has estimated his value in looks is higher or on her level so him being nice must be for altruistic reason. While the less attractive man being nice is percieved or suspected by women either on his level of attraction to be only doing this to get laid just you basically tried to make a claim about. When said man pulls back on being used in the relationship and stop helping a person who only wants to use them as an app.

[HenryThePrideful]

He is hit with a backlash by women on why they think he was being nice to them in the first place (oh you aren't really nice virgin. Stop being so bitter because i won't sleep with you) or some variation when the case was he is pulling back on his kindness because the relationship he has with the woman is very draining on his time and gains no reward. Relationship just like friendship should be mutual 2 way street. When one person gets all the advantage from the other it takes the form of a parasite relationship. And we see women attacking male sexuality even on gag. Where women will say "your bitter because you can't get pussy" or some variation. It all ties back to sex because women general believe every action a man does is to get laid.

[Ratiocinative]

Being a "nice guy" does not mean not being rude or not being a jerk. Someone who is a "nice guy" is someone who believes people will want to be his friend and women will want to date him BECAUSE be is nice. That is wrong.

People are friends with people because of their personality and because they have common interests. Nice guys hide their personality and try to make friends by being nice, which doesn't work. People can't relate to you if you have no personality.

Similarly with women, women are attracted to confident strong males who are leaders. When a "nice guy" hides his personality, acts passive, and tries to make everyone like him he appears weak which is a huge turn off for women. Women are actually turned on when you stand up for yourself in a confident but respectful way, even to them. Being a jerk isn't attractive either, but if you are constantly being weak and passive a woman will never fall in love with you even if you're not a jerk.

So yes, OP, you are right. No one gives a shit if you are "a decent guy and kind and helpful to everyone". That's not how you make friends with other men or becomes lovers with a woman.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

I can't agree that young women like "strong leaders" these days. Most of them prefer the stereotypical "beta" male these days. I'm a confident "alpha" stereotype, and girls ignore me.

[AperolSpritz]

It seems like you only hang out with a certain type of woman and think we're all the same.
This take is so unbelievably ignorant and blindly full of itself, I don't even know what to say. Not that it matters anyway, somehow I get the feeling that you're so closed minded and bitter that there would be no point in saying anything.

[lumos]

Funny how you posted a pic of an average guy and want us to sympathize with him because he's apparently nice. But then you post a pic of an average girl and call her downright ugly and a total slob who's not worthy of your time. What if she's nice? Doesn't she deserve your undivided attention, affection and love?
Kinda hard to sympathize with you when you have double standards and whine about girls not wanting to settle for guys who don't fit their own preferences.

[HenryThePrideful]

That wasn't the point. For one if you think the sentence " some of which might be down right ugly and total slobs." Means to be a connection with the girl in pic you'd be wrong. The girl in the picture is a representation of a girl in the collective group of women who would want to date Jamal, which will include girls who are total slubs and ugly. And where i was going with this was the double standards. If Jamal were to reject girls he don't find attractive even if they were good spirited, and friendly. Many women would attack Jamal for being shallow. We already see so many women who shame men for not wanting to date women pass a particular weight already. On the flip side many women don't see the hypocrisy in that if they don't find a guy attractive and he is a good person that she should not be shamed for not wanting to date him. In fact many women will call a man out as a misogynist asshat for suggesting that. So basically women are allowed to have standards. Men are demonized

[HenryThePrideful]

for having standards is where i was going with this in our society.

[Thatguy321]

This ^

[lumos]

Guys attack girls for rejecting them all the time. Just like you're doing right now. And some in really aggressive ways, calling them bitches and assholes even if they were kind with their rejection. It goes both ways and I have no sympathy for those who whine about not meeting someone else's standards. Find someone's standards you do in fact meet and quit worrying about everyone else.

[HenryThePrideful]

1. I agree with you guys attack women for rejecting them but it goes both ways. Women do it too. 2. No where in this take did i talk about rejection, women rejecting me, or attacking women. I'm basically bringing to the surface the difference between one guy being labelled a "GOOD GUY" vs other guy being labelled the bad "NICE GUY" even though both men have the same character traits and doing things for the exact same reason.

[lumos]

1. I did say it goes both ways. 2. You're attacking women for having preferences and not being more lenient towards "nice guys" because their niceness should somehow make up for their average or even unattractive looks. Yes being nice does help but if there's no physical attraction whatsoever, there's not much you can do. + Most people distinguish the difference between "good" and "nice" as "nice" being more fake than "good". Not because of looks but because these self-proclaimed "nice guys" really aren't very nice at all since they expect to get everything handed to them on a silver plate just for holding the door open for someone or giving a compliment. AGAIN that has nothing to do with level of attractiveness since good looking people can behave this way too.

[HenryThePrideful]

"You're attacking women for having preferences and not being more lenient towards "nice guys" because their niceness should somehow make up for their average or even unattractive looks. " I NEVER ONCE SAID THAT ANYWHERE IN MYTAKE.

[lumos]

Yeah you are. You're trying to get us to sympathize with Jamal because he apparently doesn't get as many opportunities as Brian due to not being as attractive, but still just as good-hearted. Saying how women apparently treat men as slaves and that we can't see past a man's looks thanks to some Disney bullshit. You are, in essence, trying to change women's preferences to something that you would fit into better since you want us to sympathize with Jamal and guys like him.

[HenryThePrideful]

No I'm not I'm painting a realistic picture. If you are more attractive more people will want to hang out with you and be your friend you'll have a bigger social circle. It's been shown in research that a person's social life, people's perception of them and even hiring, promotion in jobs are tied heavily to looks. Bigger social circle ---> More exposure to more girls. Jamal realistically will have a smaller pool of friends than Brian. That is reality. A smaller pool means less exposure to girls. My take shows the contrast between 2 men having the same trait and one being labelled 2 different things. It's too explain why one man can be considered a hero (good guy) while another is demonized as a villian (nice guy). As I pointed out in my other responses people will consider Brian a good guy because he really has no reason to be nice. He could be a dick and still get girls just from being attractive so people really commend him for being nice.

[HenryThePrideful]

Jamal will be perceived by women for being nice because many women think he's only after getting pussy, or wanting to guilt trip them into relationship (ironically just as your accusing me of here). And the whole women can't see past looks is true. Many of you allow a good looking man to get away with so much shit that you'd demonize an average man for. Many of you perceive the good looking guy to be good man especially if he doesn't come off as a dick from the start and plays off the prince charming role. While looking for any instance to demonize an unattractive man as a bad person (see creep shaming). The being blind sided by looks isn't only women though. Men often don't see the red flags if a woman is pretty and doesn't come off a bitch. A girl could very well be a manipulative she devil who likes to use men but if she is pretty, and acts like a nice girl many men will miss those red flags and end up getting played by her.

[lumos]

And men also let good looking girls get away with acting like assholes because they look good whereas if an ugly girl behaved that way she would be called an ugly bitch - inside and out. It's a two-way street. You're whining about non-issues and you should start focusing your time on people who actually deserve it and enjoy your company instead of worrying about those who criticize others so harshly because of their looks.

[HenryThePrideful]

"And men also let good looking girls get away with acting like assholes because they look good whereas if an ugly girl behaved that way she would be called an ugly bitch - inside and out. I" Most men will tolerate a girl for being a bitch if she is trying to stir her away to sleep with him for one night but no man with self respect is going to put up with a bitch for LTR. There is an expression "For Every Hot Girl, There's a Guy Who's Tired of Sleeping With her" Guys will tolerate a bitch for a ONS. They won't pick them for LTR. "It's a two-way street. You're whining about non-issues and you should start focusing your time on people who actually deserve it and enjoy your company instead of worrying about those who criticize others so harshly because of their looks." And this is rambling that makes no sense to me. I see no connection with this and anything i've mention in the take or my conversation with you.

[lumos]

okkk

[orphan]

i love reading the exchanges between lumos and pissed-off-guys

[AperolSpritz]

Everybody is allowed to have standards, and everybody's vary. Not everybody's standards are based on looks. It'd be more worrying if someone didn't have standards of some kind. Just for the record though, the first guy ( Brian?) is no better looking than Jamal.

[lumos]

@AperolSpritz right? Brian has a fucking mullet. Ew.

[CancerianMan81]

@lumos but the point that your not getting is "FAKE" doesn't come with being nice cause any nice people are open books and straightforward cause they don't beat around the bush about who they are

[CancerianMan81]

when your demonizing another person you know what you're doing you're demonizing yourself

[lumos]

@CancerianMan81 seems like you're not getting the distinction I was trying to make between genuinely good people and self-proclaimed "nice" people.

[CancerianMan81]

you know when I hear girls like you say that when a guy says he's a "NICE GUY" he pulls a not so "NICE GUY" when he sticks up for himself you want to call him an asshole cause he don't buy into your manipulation into trying to control him

[lumos]

@CancerianMan81 I have no idea what you're even talking about. I've been called a bitch and a cunt by "nice guys" simply because I don't want to date them or PM them on here.

[CancerianMan81]

I'M ALREADY LABELED A FUCKING OUTCAST TO SOCIETY DUE TO MY ADHD SO I COULD CARE LESS IF I FUCKING "FIT IN" ANYWAY.

[lumos]

@CancerianMan81 I'm not even talking about you specifically. Chill. Don't take it so personally.

[CancerianMan81]

well i'm just getting sick and tired of this stereotyping bullshit

[lumos]

@CancerianMan81 nobody is stereotyping anyone. I'm pointing out a very specific type of guy.

[CancerianMan81]

well alright i'm sorry I got hot under the collar

[CancerianMan81]

I just get so frustrated

[Cel98]

@lumos you are my hero! You get it completely. So many guys on here complain about this "double standard" where girls only go for hot guys and friendzine "nice guys". Yet they then call a girl a slob and ugly and say they wouldn't go out with her? It's so hypocritical! These selfproclkamed "nice guys" are not nice at all!

[CancerianMan81]

@Cel98 no what you don't understand is having double standards isn't healthy cause it robs the person to achieve what they want it gives off a false atonement not only for the person involved but the person giving off the double standard

[vishna]

Thoughs:

Hmm, I do think we are more inclined, as a species, to perceive attractive people as good. This may have to do with breeding or something else, but I'm pretty sure it's just a trait of our species. Is it right? No. It gives some people an unfair advantage. But regardless of the perceived goodness, if two people are basically of the same goodness and status, I think most people will chose the hotter potential partner, because being good looking is definitely sought after in mates, so, that's not really something people can even be demonized for.

When it comes to nice guys, not every woman differentiate between nice men that way. When I say that, I mean, not every women goes "He's hot and nice, will date." and then a week after that say "Oh, this new guy is nice but not hot, ew, will not date." Lots of people don't need to be with a 10/10 to be perfectly happy because the guy is simply good.

In my world, nice men win, it doesn't really matter about looks as long as he's cute in his own way.

[HenryThePrideful]

Yes but i don't really see why women keep coming back to this argument that the less attractive man is being nice to get a date or to bang them. Why can't women see that perhaps this person is nice because well they get off on being nice to people. They may want to treat others like how they want to be treated. Not everything is tied to trying to get into your panties.

[HenryThePrideful]

I keep seeing females and males in the section coming up with this perception that Jamal is only nice because he's trying to guilt trip these girls into giving him a date or use his niceness to get into their pants when he very well is doing it for the same reason brian is doing it. Because he likes to help people.

[vishna]

I think most people who are good, are just good. And like I said, nice men finish first with me, regardless of looks.

[lilac_flowers]

Wtf? First the black guy looks better? He really does. The white guy has facial asymmetry and female prettiness that is a turn off.

The girl you posted is merely making a face and looks slobby for the overall feel of the pic, but dressed up, that's a hot chick. An 8 at least.

And last, you're bitching about hot girls ignoring your kindness, while expecting to reject average girls for their looks.

Girls want good guys IN THEIR LEAGUE. But that is understood, no need to say that. For heaven's sake you sound like a fat feminist bitching about men ignoring her personality on account of her fat rolls... And guys do want good personality, but... IN THEIR LEAGUE.

Now you may be a good looking guy, but know how to figure out what matches you in value.

Girls value (in this order): social skill, status, personality, looks
Guys value (in this order): looks, personality, social status

An ugly ass brain surgeon with a decent social life, or a really charismatic, confident plumber will ALWAYS beat an average Joe with low social skill who is hot. Always.

Having low social skill is an equivalent of being a fat chick. Once you realize that, you will see why a hot girl won't give you the time of day. Just work on yourself and don't be a tumblr feminist. This is not helping anyone.

[HenryThePrideful]

"And last, you're bitching about hot girls ignoring your kindness, while expecting to reject average girls for their looks. " Never in this entire take was i saying that and it's that kind of mentality I'm talking about. Women making assumptions and jumping to the conclusion that if a man is nice to her it's because he wants her for a relationship or to get into her pants when he really could just a be nice guy. I've addressed all your points in comments in the pink section which parroted it. If you have time go and read it.

[lilac_flowers]

Ok. Too lazy, will take ur word for it.

[cherrymarina]

Attraction doesn't work like that. I like a man with a backbone. I want him to be good to me. U can be nice to your neighbours, to old people to children etc. some guys act nice to girls to get something from her.

[yololoyo]

Jamal fucks way more women because he knows his boa constrictor is very appealing to the fairer sex unlike Brian who has all the attributes as long as he doesn't pull down his pants and that's why Jamal his smirking

[RandomBritishGuy94]

I shared this on a different discussion yesterday but it's relevant enough here that I'm posting it again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-3cu46Dcvw

Don't be this guy. You make the rest of us look like ass holes. You aren't entitled to any women. If you want to go out and find one go drinking. I've never approached a girl from my own social circle well drinking. That's the point. If you're not old enough to drink you aren't old enough for this to matter.

Seriously. Don't be that guy.

[Seneya]

Hmm I find your take somewhat true. I would like to admit that good looking is a plus if you also have a good heart which is rare. If a good guy with good looks and an okay looking nice guy approach me chance is I would choose the first. Yeah I'm a bit shallow if you call me but that's natural I guess. But that doesn't mean I would only stick to the good looking guys and never ever give chance to the average ones.
I had been treated the same before. People judged me by my face value and didn't care how I was inside. Attraction plays a big part. But it completely depends on our mindset and personal tastes, for example, some might find Jamal attractive and some might find Brian attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all.

[Bandit74]

Well first I just want to say the Jamal guy is not ugly at all. I guess if girls have racial biases he might be at a disadvantage but aside from race, I think he has good bone structure.

That being said...
I agree, the biggest differences between the guys who get lots of casual sex and the guys who can barely even get relationships are looks, status (popularity), and social skills.

Niceness isn't that big of a factor. If you're attractive, confident, fun, and good at flirting you can be the biggest asshole imaginable, you will still get laid left and right.

Part of the issue is the notion that sluts have low standards. They dont. If a girl is going to have sex with a guy without making him wait for it or commit, her standards on things like physical attractiveness and charm are higher compared to her standards for a relationship. The nice guys lack the looks and charm to be the type of guy that a girl would want to hookup with.

Read what this girl had to say:
"My one night stands were with HOT men; men that I would have considered out of my league."

-When it came to hooking up, my partners prerequisite were higher; at least superficially, than those I deemed necessary in a man I was dating. Seems weird to see that admission in type but quite frankly my criteria for a man I had a one night stand with were all superficially higher; looks, swag, attitude, dress, etc. When dating, the qualities in the men I sought dealt more with depth of character and intellect."

-If a woman is going to risk social scorn for having sex with a stranger, than that stranger must be worth it!"

The full post is here:
dirtyinpublic.com/.../

[99percentangel]

That Brian guy has the face of a fuckboy, and he looks like he would be a jerk. So no just because someone is good looking doesn't mean people want to socilaize and them and will like them.

[CoolSky01]

you are right if you're good looking you get away with things, things as being too nice, goofy or even mean sometimes, i know cause it happens daily , the difference between two nice guys is... their looks.

[HenryThePrideful]

The thing about the guy being good looking and nice is this. A lot of guy's aren't even aware they are hot. If he is genuinely nice and he notices girls want to shower him with attention, girls want to be his girlfriend, he has a good reputation and people love him. He's going to want to be nice not only because he likes being nice but because he's seeing a positive result from it and therefore has even more incentive to continue. If Jamal however is an average guy and is nice. However, he notices people don't reciprocate any kindness backs, girl's who he's helped ignore him when they don't need him but put on fake smiley faces when they want his help and people genuinely don't give too shits about him (come on you can't even wish me happy birthday). Eventually he's going to feel he's being used and none of them give a shit about him. And when he finally stands up for himself and tell these girls to get bent it's then they reveal to him what they think about him.

[HenryThePrideful]

Girl (Bitch): "Oh you aren't such a nice guys and don't think I didn't notice you were only nice to me because you were trying to get into my pants"

[CoolSky01]

Well that happens to guys somtimes but yeah if you're hot girls will be nice to you just cause... they won't mind even if you use them but if you're not hot they watch every move you make to make sure you're not trying anything.

[John_Doesnt]

The actual answer: every guy is a "nice guy" if he's got tons of cash and can buy her a nice dinner.

[Miezko]

I think the only difference between nice guys, good guys, and great guys is confidence. A confident man never has trouble getting girls to like him.

[EnglishArtsteacher]

This is false. I'm confident, and girls ignore me. The whole "confidence" notion is a myth.

[Miezko]

@EnglishArtsteacher confidence is different than bragging a lot, and fake confidence can be spotted a mile away. Your response alone suggests you lack confidence. A confident man is confident in his ability to get girls.

[red324]

It's very simple, Attractive guys have more options and girls believe he's not the kind of guy that would have sex and leave or dump them. This is for both genders though, not just guys.

[BubbleBoy69]

And they get proven wrong several times it's simple. Attractive guy has options. If there are better looking girls than you why would he pick you? (Personality? Like you actually give a shit about that)

[red324]

@BubbleBoy69 I'm confused, are you just backing up what I said?

[red324]

The funny thing is being unattractive like the girl in the picture, they eventually stop caring what people think about them, thus doing what they want, which may make them even more unattractive, but who really cares when people don't like you to begin with. Can you blame them?

[MissMc3]

You're a fucking dumbass

[thewanderingme]

hahahahahahahahahahaha, my thought exactly!

[MissMc3]

@thewanderingme Lol 😂

[nikol_]

Lol ikr

[Cel98]

With that attitude no wonder he doesn't get girls! That has nothing to do with looks, he's one of the "nice guys" that expect sex from you if he opens a door for you! And then complain nice guys always finish last!

[MissMc3]

@Cel98 Exactly lmao

[HenryThePrideful]

@Cel98 "With that attitude no wonder he doesn't get girls! That has nothing to do with looks, he's one of the "nice guys" that expect sex from you if he opens a door for you! And then complain nice guys always finish last!" This type of mindset is exactly what the take is talking about from women. Thinking if a man is nice to a woman he is doing it to get into her pants unless of course she finds him very attractive then it's just out of the goodness of his heart. When said nice guy stands up to being used as an app by women and does not want to continue being called upon like a servant, all of a sudden he is not nice anymore and you make the claim he was only being fake nice to get into your pants.

[Cel98]

I'm talking about the attitude of being nice for something in return. If someone is a genuinely nice person they won't expect something back. That's not just guys but girls too! We don't automatically assume a guy is being nice to get into our pants. But if that guy starts getting aggressive and calling us whores he is definitely not a genuine nice guy. If a girl is using a guy and leading him on that is wrong! But if he just gets pissy because someone won't sleep with him. He is not being nice for the right reasons.

[HenryThePrideful]

@Cel98 "I'm talking about the attitude of being nice for something in return. If someone is a genuinely nice person they won't expect something back. That's not just guys but girls too!" That logic allows for manipulation and using people. People who are nice aren't doing it for some ulterior motive to get into your pants but they genuinely would like to at the very least be respected and appreciated in return. The attitude many people have who say this is they can treat a nice person however including treating them like shit or ignoring them and when said nice person stops being nice to them then they won't nice to begin with. "We don't automatically assume a guy is being nice to get into our pants. But if that guy starts getting aggressive and calling us whores he is definitely not a genuine nice guy. " The pink comment section says another story. Majority of women in this section basically acted like this whole take was to make women feel guilt into dating nice guys.

[HenryThePrideful]

When it was actually about discussing what separate the guy girl's think is a genuinely good person from someone who is just being nice to get into their pants. The pink section shows the mentality that women have that an average/below average guy is only being nice to try and win a relationship/affection from you when he could just be a genuinely nice person. "If a girl is using a guy and leading him on that is wrong! But if he just gets pissy because someone won't sleep with him. He is not being nice for the right reasons." And those guys who get pissed are the fake nice guys you women try to bundle with the nice guys who aren't super attractive. The reality here is many of you girls use the nice guys as an app and when he doesn't want to come at your beck and call or lash out on the behavior you label him as the fake nice guy when really the guy just was fed up of a one sided relationship.

[mojo_jojo]

People gravitate to good looking or tall/athletic since childhood. I think as a human race we don't like to admit that we still have lots of primitive/neanderthal thoughts and feelings.