5 Things You Shouldn't Do When In Bed With a Woman

[Hannah591]

You could say that sex is an art that is perfected over time. The more you know, the better you can perform doing the deed and the happier your partner will be! These pointers are loosely based on experiences I've had that were mainly done by inexperienced men, who just needed a little more knowledge to get it right.

#1 Don't ignore the clitoris

The clitoris is the most sensitive part and is often the main part which provides the most pleasure. Whatever you do, whether it's oral or penetration, always get the clitoris involved!

#2 Don't be rough with the clitoris

The clitoris is the same as the end of the penis - and is just as sensitive! If you wouldn't like someone slapping/flicking/biting the end of your penis, don't do it to a woman because the clitoris can be extremely painful when injured or played with roughly.

#3 Don't stop a woman from pleasuring herself

When a woman wants to pleasure herself during sex, some guys don't like it as they assume it's because they are unable to pleasure the woman and some will totally prevent it by moving her hand away. However, some women can only orgasm through the clitoris, so surely you'd want her to help herself get to orgasm, whilst enjoying the intimacy and act of sex? It doesn't mean you're bad in bed, it just means the woman isn't as sensitive and needs a helping hand (her own hand) to get things going.

#4 Don't think the woman didn't enjoy it because she didn't orgasm

It's a fact that women don't orgasm as often as men during sex. Men will orgasm almost every single time they have sex, whilst it's much less likely for women. Women still enjoy sex, even if they don't orgasm. They enjoy seeing you satisfied and appreciating her body. They love the intimacy and being in the moment with you. An orgasm isn't the make or break of a sexual experience, but that doesn't mean you can give up trying to bring her to orgasm.

#5 Don't stop learning

Even if you think you're a sex God (no-one is anyway), there's still something new to learn. As I said before, the more you know, the better you can please in the bedroom. Ask your partner what she wants and what she prefers in bed. Let her be honest about what you do in bed, that she doesn't like, without you getting offended. Take it as an opportunity to grow and change. The better the communication, the better the sex for you both!

[Smmyskittles]

- Don't say another woman's name

- Don't talk about other women

- Other women do not exist while I'm in your presence

- Don't tell me you're going to buy me things

XD

Just adding some more!

[Alexalex92]

You're right. Also don't forget her name and call her with other name hahahaha

[redeyemindtricks]

"Don't tell me you're going to buy me things" The hell? In bed?

[Smmyskittles]

@redeyemindtricks - LOL, yeah.. It's happened. XD

[redeyemindtricks]

Hahah wtf... srsly? HOW DID HE LEAD UP TO THAT... I must know. Or was that just, like, what got him extra hot and hard? "Mmm yeah baby, you feel so good... and I'm gna take you on a shopping spree on Rodeo mmm OH YEAH BABY WE'LL HAVE THE ZANOTTI BOUTIQUE ALL TO OURSELVES OMG I'M GNA CUMMMMM..." lmao I mean, srsly... having a hard time imagining this. I can think of VERY specific circumstances under which this could be sexy -- but only for things that have already been bought, and, again, only VERY specific circumstances. You must give more details hahah

[Smmyskittles]

@redeyemindtricks - lmao. That's exactly how it happened! Middle of talking and he's just like "I'll buy you something". Immediately killed my mood and I told him so.

[redeyemindtricks]

wow so much fail

[jacquesvol]

Do NOT do this: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2031002-should-i-say-something-to-him-about-it-slipping-into-my-butthole
Surprise sex is just an euphemism for rape.

[Azara]

wow... should i say something.. yes, say 'you're a rapist. im pressing charges. '. whats wrong with people. its like they think they have no right to their or own body. how does a person grow up that way.

[edibor]

I think that you're overall right, but especially with #2, I think a better solution is to communicate and for the guy to ask whether he's being too rough. It took my SO a few months of my continued guidance before he realized that what he thought was "way too rough" was actually exactly what I need. So it's not always true that being gentle around that area is what we want or what can get us off. :)

[xHoneyxBeex]

Great take!

#1 For me, I actually prefer penetration more than clitoral stimulation BUT some stimulation there is nice too.
#2 I love rough sex but yes, that's a very sensitive area, especially right after an orgasm. Lol
#3 This is true as well. Just because a woman wants to touch herself during sex doesn't necessarily mean the guy is doing something wrong.
#4 Yes! I actually do orgasm from sex a lot but sometimes it just doesn't happen, which could be due to many outside factors such as if I have a lot on my mind or stress or anything like that. But I don't need an orgasm to enjoy sex, that's just a nice bonus. I still love sex regardless though. :)
#5 This is so important, communication can make or break someone's sex life. If both partners are on different wave lengths, neither one of them are going to be satisfied. Talking and communicating before and during sex is important.

[Hannah591]

Can you orgasm through penetration alone though? I've had an ex accidentally bite my clit and it hurt for so long - incredible pain. Orgasms are just a bonus for me too :P I'm jealous you get to orgasm so often!

[xHoneyxBeex]

Only in some positions, yes. Basically any doggy style position will make me orgasm. And ouch! That just sounds painful! Lol

[samhradh_leannan]

Personally, I am not a fan of the whole "it's fine if she didn't have an orgasm" mindset. Sure, if a girl has never had an orgasm and doesn't know how to have one, it's not her partner's fault she isn't getting off. But for women who do know how to have orgasms, there's no reason why they shouldn't be enjoying them every time they have sex, if they want to. It doesn't have to happen during intercourse- there are plenty of other options. If you communicate with your partner and they're willing to put in the time and effort, then they should be getting you off.

[HugoJoubert]

If the guy has to spend extra time getting the girl off, he's not always going to want to have sex. Sex is going to feel like a chore to him, and then you're going to complain 'My boyfriend never has sex with me!'

[samhradh_leannan]

@HugoJoubert Then that's when you find a new boyfriend. Why would I be with a guy who doesn't care about my satisfaction when I could be with a guy who does?

[COMMODOREII]

I agree with you. Sexual exploration should be for both the man and woman in experiencing the act. Just cause the guy cums doesn't mean, everyone is done. I am always willing to help my partner reach her top potential. In fact I worry too much for me cumming too fast, cause it tends to tire a guy out quickly fast, which is why I try to get her off first. One day there will be a time, when we both can enjoy our selves in a way that makes both sweaty and catching our breaths a the end of our session. lol

[SomeGuy37]

Isn't that like 'Loving a Woman', the REMEDIAL class?

[Bvroon]

This is a really nice take. I can very much appreciate that sex and sexual experience covers a pretty broad spectrum, your take approached this from a very human aspect, in the sense that hey we are all human, try not to get so hung up about everything and enjoy it, and by the way here are a few pointers. Well done. :-)

[Hannah591]

Thanks for the kind comment. :)

[coolbreeze]

Nice mytake very well written.😃

[Fibbett]

#4 is the only one I've ever had trouble with. And it's because women constantly tell me just the opposite. Most of the women act like your a misogynist if you get off and she doesn't.

[LittleMissCuriousity]

I've known a lot of women who were in relationships with guys who just didn't care if they got off, and they might have thought that was happening with you. Still not a reason to flip out, but that could be what was happening.

[Rocket_Queen]

I don't know about #2. The rest 👍

[katiesmuff]

Great My take

[Crumbles]

static4.businessinsider.com/.../...ving-myself.jpg

[EmpatheticLady]

All great points! :)

[YourFutureEx]

I think clitoris is overrated. Girls give better expressions when I just fuck them hard compared to simulating the clit. Maybe that varies from person to person.

[Hannah591]

It's underrated. It needs to be appreciated more. A girl can fake.

[YourFutureEx]

They don't groan but they grab my wrist when I do so, is this a good sign?

[AbleLearner]

I'm a virgin and you didn't tell me anything I didn't already know.

[AbleLearner]

Men's brains have some mis-firings when it comes to women, especially if he is an INTJ learner, and the more intelligent they are, believe it or not, the harder it can be for them to get the point. INTJ has a hard time looking and listening at the same time, like I can be making eye contact with you, taking all of you in, but then I won't be hearing all of your words. It gets very annoying too, and in some cases has been quite embarrassing due to forgetting a person's name five minutes after I asked them in a few cases. My biggest problem has lately been going from "just an acquaintance" or "just talking" to a getting a date in the first place. Transitioning or escalating conversation is not something I am good at. My discussions with guys are things like the mechanics of hurricanes, or how it is that Pluto is an active planet with both geology and weather. I have a hard time connecting personally with women even though I want to. I always feel like I never get past the surface.

[AbleLearner]

continuing: It's like, even if I talk to her about something that is personal to her, I go away feeling like I haven't really "connected" with her at all, even though I care and I listened and I gave her my opinion, and so forth. It's hard for a guy with 135I. Q. (unofficially 145 or higher) and 145 GLA with 155 Clerical aptitude to connect to other people in the first place. I can play back in my memory, not as well as used to I guess, almost every conversation I've ever had with a woman I was interested in, and I can find the things I "heard" and the words I didn't "hear", and know what I did or did not do right in several cases, and if something triggers a memory of them it can often be like I'm right back there talking to them again. I can see their face like they were 10, 15, 20 years ago. I can search my memory and find at least 4 cases of women who were probably attracted to me and trying to let me know, and I was at the time too clueless or distracted to realize it.

[AbleLearner]

Now INTJ is like that, unfortunately, and it hurts sometimes, believe me it hurts. I used to be able to beat the NHC about 75% of the time on hurricane forecasting for both precision and accuracy, just by visual processing of satellite data. About 6 years ago they finally got advanced enough computer models to be able to beat me more often than not. I called Hurricane Isaac final landfall and intensity correctly to within about 20 miles 5 days ahead of time. That's how INTJ is. Used to read one fictional novel and two math/science books per day, every day when in High School. Started with about a half-novel per day in 7th grade. Should have spent my time screwing around and getting into trouble, like other people. Now if you want to know why I know what I know about what you wrote, ti's because i figured I needed all the help I could get, so I read the "how to" stuff written by women online, and it doesn't hurt that I outscored the women in anatomy class on female anatomy.

[AbleLearner]

Now the problem is this: Most women will say they want an "intelligent man". In reality, they don't want an "intelligent man" in most cases. I'll be talking 2 rungs up the ladder over her head, and she won't give a damn. She'll be talking about something mundane that I got bored with 20 years ago. Now, I'm interested in her, but... come on, where do I meet someone with equal interests. I need a doctor or a lawyer or a Masters (or better) in Nursing type woman, and preferably one who is a self-educator. I realize I can't have my head in the clouds thinking about the mysteries of the universe all the time and have a relationship with a woman, but it gets pretty rigged when you've been alone for as long as I have: I tend to over-think everything about normal conversations, and it's pretty annoying really. Guy is goal oriented. We go to the store to buy what we need. Women is process oriented. You go shopping and end up buying half of everything you see.

[AbleLearner]

As far as escalating a relationship goes, I've read some pretty weird stuff online, and about half of it is technically illegal in the U. S., and if the "right" guy does it to a woman she might be okay with it, but if she decides she doesn't like it, he might be doing jail time. I don't want to be stuck in a "Friend Zone" with a woman I find myself interested in. It's pointless, and I've found out the hard way on more than one occasion that it is unhealthy for everyone involved. Women may say they want a "friend", but they can be a guy's "friend" for a year or two, and go for someone completely the opposite, who might not even be good for them either. Then a year or two later they are back on a dating site, or a christian forum asking for a divorce and help and such... and they want the wrong type of guy again anyway. And the one they think they "pray" for they really don't want anything to do with. She'll complain about his drinking, and she'll date a heavy drinker again.

[AbleLearner]

I don't drink, I don't smoke, I've never done drugs, I do my God-given best not to lie, cheat or steal in any way, and I almost never use profanity. The very women who say they want a "gentleman" wouldn't touch me with a 10 foot poll, and immediately go for some jerk who ends up beating her. I get tired of that. Grow Up and act like an adult, instead of a baby. I play Scrabble maybe one day or one week out of a year, and I score a professional level score every game, even against another person who scores a professional level score. I beat the local card champion at cards, and I play that maybe a week or two out of a year. I don't want to go mud riding because I did too much of that when I was 12 years old, and swimming in the rivers and lakes around here is prohibited due to pollution, but "normal" people do it anyway, not fully realizing they're swimming in cow feces. Where am I supposed to find a woman who is relatable and compatible? cont.

[AbleLearner]

Clubs? Well, like I said, not the greatest idea I've ever tried, but I could try it again. What I found when I went there is the woman hide out in "clicks" and pretty much 2 to 4 follow around an "alpha" like clueless puppies, and it's not much different than High School, except everyone looks twice as much a fool ten or fifteen years later. That whole "click" thing gets to be stupid, and can ruin relationships anyway. Not to mention the whole, "Girl might be legitimately interested in a guy, but her friend talks her out of it anyway." Opposite side of the table is guys tend to talk one another into it, and women tend to talk one another out of it. It's like some of the women on dating sites can just sit there and wait and wait and wait and never accept anyone, because they think they are a "career woman" and they missed the best years of their lives too, and for all the wrong reasons. Money can't buy you love, and your best friend might not know what's best in the end.

[AbleLearner]

What about the "Glass Ceiling" thing? It's nonsense. A woman can make 50k to 75k where I live working about 3 12 hour shifts per week. For most men around her to do that they need to work 6 to 7 12 hour shifts per week doing manual labor in high risk environments. I've done tax returns for women who made 2 or 3 times the income of their husbands, and they were making decent money themselves, and with one exception, the highest income earners I've ever met in person were all women in the medical or pharmacy field: 95, 100, 115k per year. about 90% of "well employed" men around here make 30 to 50k per year working overtime. Those women work 3 days per week. Now those women were decent people. The ones online dating sites who have income like that have profiles with messages like, "Don't message me unless you make twice as much money as me." As the girl said in the movie, "If money is all you want, then money is all you'l receive."

[AbleLearner]

I knew this woman several years ago who was a part-time teacher during the week, and did part-time bar tending on the weekend. She made more money in one day bar tending than she did with her teaching degree during the rest of the week. Would make $250 to $300 per night bar tending about 4 hours per night. I've done tax returns like that too, and I've done both the man's and the womans, and a man does not get that. I literally didn't believe the reported tips the first time I saw one like that. She was a student and made around $45,000 working around 20 hours per week. For a man to make that, he has to do something like welding or electrical, etc, and he has to work 12 hours overtime every week for every 5k to 10k he needs to make above that. There is no "Glass Ceiling". It's a myth. What's even more screwed up is a lot of women under-report their real income on their tax returns, and it's obvious when you see it.

[AbleLearner]

Now, an NP can make 175 to 200k per year if she's in the right place, and she still doesn't have to know everything an actual medical doctor needs to know. When I go to the doctor or hospital, I have to remind them of what the medical terminology means sometimes. Catch my point? I found myself in the hospital several years back, and the lead resident on shift at the time did not understand the medical terminology I was using to describe my symptoms, and I even requested a copy of her notes several months later, and was shocked at how poorly educated she was, but she probably makes around 200k per year. The best job I've ever had made half what I'd like to, because I can't get a jackass employers to hire me for a real job position, because they are afraid of me knowing more than them.

[AbleLearner]

Now, a Nursing degree is pretty darn easy compared to what I went to college for. I could pass a nursing program with about what I have in my left pinky, but because of my GPA in the Engineering program, I'd have to declare academic renewal, and start back over at freshman composition and biology and crap, which I've already tested out of blind on more than one occasion. A Clerical Aptitude of 155 pretty well means I know more about English composition than the English professors. The tests the jackass professors write in higher math and science classes are specifically designed to be about 10 times more complicated than any actual real-world problem, and basically nobody passes the class, and after several tries they end up changing their major if they have enough credits available. By the time you get an Engineering degree from a major university, you are expected to know everything that Newton, Groethe, Einstein, Farraday, Maxwell, and 50 other mathematicians and scientists knew

[AbleLearner]

On top of that, entry level Engineering positions still have to be certified further and be apprenticed for several years, and make around 10k less per year than an entry level RN who works 4 to 16 or more hours per week less than them. Albert Einstein would not be able to pass a modern Engineering Electrical Circuits course, because he would not understand the math problems and formulas involved. I got pissed off at one of my instructors after he gave me a low mark on the first two assignments one time, and I said, "I'll fix him, I'll type a 10 to 20 page paper for every assignment, and exegesis everything from now on." After that, he gave me a perfect on everything, even if I made a mistake somewhere.

[AbleLearner]

Now here's the thing, the people who "ought to be" compatible with me are killing themselves looking for something which isn't going to work out for them anyway. You want to tell a guy what to do with sex, but you haven't told women what is realistic in a man in the first place. Anyway, the way money in the U. S. really works is a forced "caste" system. The stock market, realty, and banking are rigged to be broken one way, and then broken back the other way alternating every decade or so to maintain a status quo. People who get stuck somewhere generally stay stuck there, no matter how much they try to improve or educate. Every once in a whiel someone breaks out of the cycle and gets into a "higher" caste, or becomes a self-made millionaire, but for the most part that doesn't happen. right now we got: Owners-Bankers/Stock Brokers Entertainers/Sports (sadly) Occasional niche positions and CEOs. Medical and Lawyers. Everyone else at random, regardless of skill or effort.

[AbleLearner]

Why does all that matter? Woman must not want her clit touched very much after all if she makes that kind of income, but puts on her profile, "Don't message me unless you make twice as much money as me." Fine, don't want you either. Go screw yourself. They're a dime a dozen like that too. Asexual and don't want anything from a guy except his wallet or bank account, assuming he even has one. They don't even want "Love" really, they just want to talk to "one of the girls" and take half your paycheck. "Don't message me about sex or Love." I wrote that one something like, "Why the hell are you wasting people's time on a dating site?" The same woman will fall for a player every time, but she won't have an adult conversation with a normal person, and they blame guys like *me* for what guys like *that* did to them. And then they go back to a guy like that next time anyway. I quit using dating sites because all first contacts by women are con artists or pros, and 90% of replies are too.

[AbleLearner]

That's why I wanted a secure identification system on dating sites. But then both men and women are like, "oh what about privacy?" It violates my privacy every time I have to deal with some con-artist or identity thief or whatever they are. It violates my privacy every time I message someone and they are not who they say they are. In a couple cases, I'm actually convinced that the entire dating site is actually owned and operated by the con-artists. So, anyway, you're talking about what to do in bed, anybody can search from Google and get as good or better advice somewhere on that topic. Try writing a book entitled, "What to do when women aren't women". They'll say or write, "I don't want to play games," and all they actually do want is to play games. A relationship should not be about wining and dining someone for months or years on end before anything ever goes anywhere. That's a waste of people's lives, and it's insulting to my intelligence.

[AbleLearner]

I had a guy or two a while back tell me that women wouldn't date unless they paid them $20 or so up front, on top of all the other expenses of the date. I was like... so you're basically paying for a cheap escort. Not happening. I don't "owe" you a damn thing just to talk to you, either it's a mutual conversation, or I don't want anything to do with it. Either you want to talk to me, or you don't, but I"m not paying you either way. All she's doing is abusing men to get $100 per week and 5 free meals per week, without any intention whatsoever to actually do anything productive to a relationship. That is female sexual predation. It will not get better, it will only get worse. I pity people who end up married to someone like that, because there'll come a day when she'll take him for everything he has, and maybe even kill him too. Steve Harvey had one like that on his show one time that I saw, and he told her point blank there was something wrong with her.

[AbleLearner]

I had a friend long time ago when I was in Jr. High. his mother had passed away at an early age, and his father re-married around the time we were in 7th grade I think. He was a truck driver. Well, about a year later he came back from a route one day and everything in his 4 bedroom 2 bath house was gone, his bank account had been cleaned out, she even took the freaking basketball goal from the front yard, and it was all somehow perfectly legal. Men, hate to break it to you, but you should never have a shared bank account with your wife, especially if you're the one making the money, no matter how much you think you trust her. Doesn't matter if you've been with her 6 months or 20 years. If a man did that to a woman, he'd likely go to prison, and would owe alimony for the rest of his life anyway. If a woman does it to a man, it's somehow perfectly legal. Then they wonder why men don't want to commit to marriage. I've seen similar crap happen more than once, that's for sure.

[AbleLearner]

Like I said, there's no such thing as "fair" for a man in a relationship. Everything from the first greeting or pick-up line or whatever, to the end of life, he's looking over his shoulder wondering when she's going to stab him in the back. I wish it weren't like that. I seriously love women and would love to spend my life with someone who was actually trustworthy, but there's no way to judge that or protect yourself or anyone else from it. They can lie and pretend for years on end, and just do whatever. out of the first 8 close family divorces that I can think of off the top of my head, 6 of them were the women's fault, and i know from both sides of the argument in 5 of the cases, and half of the women are my own relatives. There is no rational way to manage a relationship. You are no more trustworthy a year after you've met than you were the first day. I don't want to be bitter about it, but I've seen it. Maybe people who have "casual sex" figured out everything's bunk anyway.

[AbleLearner]

Now, on the other hand, I have three aunt/uncle pairs who have each been together for 40 years, and another who's been together for about 25 years. My older brother has been married for close to 15 years, and that was the second woman he dated seriously. They had a blood test before they did anything together. Dating someone one or two times before having sex with them is insane. You have "Sex and the City" and "Two and Half Men" and such for "normalizing" that, but now they don't even call STD an STD any more, they changed to "STI", because it sounds more "politically correct". So now you have a U. S. state where between 1/4th and 1/6th of all adults have one or more Sexually Transmitted Diseases. I think 1/6th have Chlamydia alone. Charlie Sheen had two clean porn stars living with him, and apparently that wasn't good enough for him, so he went hired some street hooker and gets HIV. Condoms do not protect you from that. You fingered, there's a good chance you just gave or received

[AbleLearner]

Genital Herpes remains active for around 10 or 11 hours outside the human body. That's why they tell you not to touch anything with your skin when you use a public restroom, and use a paper towel to open the door on the way back out. Best bet is don't use a public restroom at all. HIV stays active as long as the body fluid is active. That's pretty bad news for guys like me, because about 1/4 of you have one or more STDs, and probably don't even know it yet, because the symptoms haven't kicked in just yet. "Education makes it better". Not really, it's actually getting worse for some diseases, because they taught you the lie that a condom was a cure-all for STDs. Who the hell is a sane person supposed to be with, when some research shows college women who started out as virgins as freshman end up with several dozen to several hundred sexual partners by the time they graduate? By the way, "Ladies", the porn stars are cleaner than normal people on average. They take blood tests

[AbleLearner]

I swear, I need to move to a different state, or a different nation. Not that I have an illusions that it's much better elsewhere. Sad thing is, people in the medical field can get it through no fault of their own from working with patients who have it, and accidentally give it to their spouse though no fault of their own, and so forth. Sing along, play along I guess. Nothing's perfect, but I thought they scared the hell out of everybody enough in Sex Ed classes in grade school and high school, and apparently they didn't do a good enough job of it, because they ignored everything within a few days to a few years anyway. Yup. Wish I had a woman to love, but I don't want who knows whatever 25% of you got from your past X number of fuck buddies that you claim you don't want. Everyone dies of something, but it wasn't supposed to be this way. You're giving or receiving oral without a blood test? Okay. It's your life, screw it up if you want to. What a mess life is.

[madhatters4]

5 good points

[SarahsSummer]

Great take! A must read for all the boys out there!
☮💟😊

[Poppykate]

4. 😏 Well... I just if you put it that way...

[kayar]

is it possible in real life :/

[Belgie]

Learn : Some women need you to be rough with the clit. Not everyone, but some. So don't take point 2 as gospel for all.

[Hannah591]

Everyone's different.

[JuicyBrain]

It all makes a lot of sense ! Thanks for showing me I am on the right track :-)

[Outofthegrey]

This is all stuff common sense tells you. I thought this was going to actually be insightful, like "don't make #2 in the bed". It took me 4 times to learn that one.

[Hannah591]

You'll be surprised at the number of guys who don't do or know this stuff.

[BigBoyBob]

From a sexual standpoint, a woman's body is like a Violin and a man's body is like a bass drum. Beat on the drum a few times and you are playing it. A Violin takes a while to master. And every Violin has a different tone and has to be played "just so" to get the best sound out of it. Same with women.

If there is one thing I've learned is that there is no one RIGHT way to please every woman you have sex with. Some like only missionary positions with lots of grinding. Others want a Cowgirl or reverse Cowgirl. Most like oral, and yes, the clit is the key. Most guys spend too much time concentrating on the Vagina and not enough on the Clitoris. But you don't just dive in and start rubbing or tonging the Clit like it was a Tootsie Pop you need to get to the center of. Most women need you to take a slower approach and build up to direct stimulation.

But there is no road map. Experience is the key. And there is nothing wrong with asking what she likes and does not like. Body language during sex is paramount. You need to read the body and respond to what it is telling you. You'll know if what you are doing is working or not.