Sexual Relationships
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Why Pre-Marital Sexual Abstinence Matters

In a hypersexualized society, pre-marital sexual abstinence may seem like a very unpopular or unfavorable choice. However, I believe there are numerous benefits to pre-marital sexual abstinence, especially when both partners are virgins before marriage.

Why Pre-Marital Sexual Abstinence Matters

1. You Will Have No Other Comparison
Why Pre-Marital Sexual Abstinence Matters

Men are often anxious about their penis size and whether they can still please their women with the penis. This assumes that the women already have experience with bigger or smaller penises and already have their own preferences. However, virgin women have no sexual experience whatsoever, so they won't be able to tell whether it's too big/small. Although they can certainly read about average penis size measurements, they are less likely to be judgmental when a man comes with a 3-inch penis or a 7-inch penis. They may just assume that that's how sex is.

Virgin men may not be able to ascertain whether their women are "good at sex", and the virgin women may not be able to ascertain whether their men are "good at sex". This is a good thing. It means they both start at a novice level and improve their sexual skills together, tailoring their skills to fit each other's needs and wants. If something works, then it is kept. If something does not work, then it is rejected.

2. Virginity Is Never Something To Be Ashamed Of.
Why Pre-Marital Sexual Abstinence Matters

No one, male or female, should be ashamed for being a virgin on the wedding day. Instead, virginity on the wedding day means that both partners are ready to commit to each other, and marriage will be consummated. Sex is just an act of consummation of marriage. Therefore, to have sex within marriage is something to be proud of, because pre-marital abstinence is an indication that a person has taken control of his or her life instead of being led by the whims of human behavior.

3. Having Sex With Only One Partner For Life Means That You Treat That Partner More Importantly Than Anyone Else
Why Pre-Marital Sexual Abstinence Matters

Casual sex has no commitment. Relationship sex has more commitment. Marriage sex is the highest level of commitment. Having sex with only one partner for life means that you treat that partner more importantly than anyone else. That one partner is beyond compare, your one true love, your significant other, your other half, etc.

4. You Adapt To Each Other's Sexual Needs

Why Pre-Marital Sexual Abstinence Matters

By being virgin on the wedding day, you start with an empty slate. School does teach sex ed, but how Tab A is inserted into Slot B is not important and not mentioned. And you do not consume pornography or sexual services, because they are not respectful of women. Thus, you have no knowledge or expectations about sex. This is a good thing. It just means you and your partner can learn from each other. Just turn off the lights, sleep in the same bed, and allow nature run its course. Somehow, the penis will find its way to the vagina; it just takes time. People come with the innate ability to be sexually aroused when they are touched intimately, and the process will escalate to full-blown intercourse.

5. You Are Setting Up A Proper Example For Your Children And Grandchildren
Why Pre-Marital Sexual Abstinence Matters

You are showing to your children and grandchildren that it is definitely possible to be abstinent until marriage, and that pre-marital sexual abstinence is worth the wait.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • What a load of bullshit really.
    #1- Stay ignorant, if you don't know there's anything better elsewhere, you won't be tempted. Also, don't read about the subject of sex because you will know the statistics and that's wrong, you should be ignorant.

    What has #2 got to do with the benefits of staying a virgin? You should stay a virgin because people shouldn't mock you for it? Makes no sense at all.

    #3 What does it have to do with marriage? You don't have to be married to have sex with only one man in your life. Also that's not a truth, that is nothing more than your own little opinion. I actually think differently.

    #4 Is hilarious. You don't have to be a virgin to learn from each other.
    Yet again, you promote ignorance. The less you know about sex, the holier you are. ridiculous.

    #5 Not content with telling people to stay ignorant, you want them to keep their children ignorant too.

    Can't believe there are still people like you in 2016. Were you somehow frozen a 100 years ago?

    • Yep, this! ^^^^

    • @JuicyBrain amazing answer!

Most Helpful Girl

  • ... why do you feel such a strong need to push your views on others?
    believervsnonbelievers.files.wordpress.com/.../img_0345.png

    • she doesn't mention any of this... You're projecting your personal beliefs on her lol

    • @mutedaisy She didn't need to mention religion. The idea remains true, regardless.

    • The intention is not to push. The intention is to inform people of the benefits of pre-marital sexual abstinence.

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What Girls & Guys Said

23 26

  • 1. You will have no other comparison --> Well, alright, I'll grant you that point. But then again, is it really that important? I mean, I have only had sex with one girl but I still watch homemade porn videos and I see naked people in the Sauna and places like that. So when it comes to pure nudity (without sex), I still have lots of comparisons to my girlfriend. Plus, I don't quite understand what this has to do with premarital sex. My girlfriend and me are not married but we both only had sex with one person.
    2. Virginity is never something to be ashamed of --> Neither is promiscuity.
    3. Having Sex With Only One Partner For Life Means That You Treat That Partner More Importantly Than Anyone Else --> I strongly doubt there's a correlation. That's a bit like saying "if you only have one single friend, you'll treat him much better than if you have a group of friends". When it's about friends, we can all agree that's absurd. Why would it be different with lovers?
    4. You adapt to each other's sexual needs --> You can also adapt to your girlfriend's or boyfriend's sexual needs if you've had sex with your two previous partners. I don't see how these two things are in any way related.
    5. You Are Setting Up A Proper Example For Your Children And Grandchildren --> I doubt my kids and grandkids are gonna care about my sex life ;-). Both my parents were much wilder growing up. Heck, my mom even dropped acid. And here I am, a non-smoker, abstinent 28-year old guy whose only had sex with one girl.

  • Damn, I already lost my virginity and know the great things I'd be missing out on...
    this is a very romantic and nice idea. maybe I'll role play it tonight (; lol

  • All of these "reasons" are bullshit.

  • img.buzzfeed.com/.../...uzz-13418-1349223535-0.gif

    Waiting until marriage is not for everyone, but feel free to do you. Having a sexual experience not only stretched me out in a much needed way (lol), but taught me and showed me what kinds of boundaries I need with men in the future. I learned a lot about myself as a person. I love Jesus... but I'm not gonna buy a car without a test drive.

  • True abstaining is a great thing you can do to strengthen your future marriage. My pastor talked about this in our young adult group the other month and at the beginning there were a bunch of aws. In the end everyone was excited about waiting after hearing all of the benefits.

    • It's great, but it's not for everyone. There's a passage in the Bible that says the Lord calls certain people to celibacy or to be "eunuchs" (metaphorical) for a time, but that's certain people. In my theological study, I haven't come across anything prohibiting sex before marriage. I think this is something that people really need to have a chat with God about to see if it's right for them.

    • @vidaloca Studying human tendencies in populations is another way. People really do commit more, the longer they wait to have sex in a relationship. Marriage is the ultimate wait.

    • The mytake owner is correct studies have shown that waiting till marriage is proportable to how commited they are. In short if you wait the lower your chances of devorce are.

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  • i think there is some validity to some things but there are some things i'd have to argue or disagree

    1. You Will Have No Other Comparison
    -- is that really a good thing? so if the sex is bad or the partner isn't a good lover you'll have no reason to know that and expect something different/better

    3. Having Sex With Only One Partner For Life Means That You Treat That Partner More Importantly Than Anyone Else
    -- Is the insinuation that having had sexual relationships in the past means you can't treat that person more important than anyone else? i'd disagree. i've had sex with 6 women in my life. but my wife is the most important relationship and person in my life (aside from my daughter)

    4. You Adapt To Each Other's Sexual Needs
    -- i think people who've had sex in relationships prior to marriage will attest that sometimes people are simply incompatible. sure some can work on the sexual relationship to adapt to each other but sometimes two people just are like oil and water sexually

    5. You Are Setting Up A Proper Example For Your Children And Grandchildren
    -- i think you can set a good example for children, grandchildren, etc of being a great partner and how to value sex without waiting til marriage for sex.

  • Why is the date of marriage the best time to start? Shouldn't the new husband need time to get used to subservience, obedience and generally doing what his Wife desires, before she lets him use her body for his pleasure? I would say the husband should wait at least two years, and probably five, before the Wife gives him stimulation to completion. Even then each act of penetration should be restricted (depth and time,) and earned or paid for.

  • Not having sex before marriage is one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make. Your already rolling the dice with marriage, so your upping your chance of divorce another 15-25%. First off, sex in an adult relationship is vital. It brings both of you closer, physically and emotionally. Second, sexual compatibility is crucial during a marriage. It is not necessarily something that can be learned. Esp newlyweds that will be reluctant to tell their spouse that they are not fulfilling their needs. One or both will go on being unfulfilled and eventually the animosity will build. I have broken up with women because their idea of sex and mine just didn't work. That is not anyone's fault, it is just life. It is too late if you find that out after your married.

    • Google "sexual restraint theory".

    • Google "was married for 25 years and know a bit about what I am talking about"...

    • I'm sorry that you experience that way, but the idea that "you need to experience sexually with someone before marriage" is not empirically supported. As people wait longer and longer to have sex in relationships, the ultimate being within marriage, they tend to have longer, more satisfying marriages. It is a reality that is difficult to swallow for many people today, because people want sex now.

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  • The self conscious women are coming out... threatened that they can actually pratice self control. Forreal females why do virgins threaten you? Is it insecurities? I have never been threatened by a virgin and never will because i know that my dating pool doesn't cancel out 99.9 percent of guys,

    • Nobody feels threatened. We are just reacting to the disinformation.

    • @JuicyBrain so your a woman?

    • @JuicyBrain im sure i said threatenes womwn.., which they are threatened... irl life they dont act like this

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  • hahahahahaha funny

  • Without premarital sex there is no way to see if you are sexually compatible.
    Some people can learn things, but sometimes there are things that the other cannot tolerate, thereby speeding a hasty and costly divorce.
    I speak from experience, there were definitely several girls that I would have
    had to divorce if I didn't try beforehand.

  • 1. Ironically these are the exact same reasons to have pre-martial sex.
    2. You can have control of your life and still be getting laid at the same time.
    3. Maury Povich would have something to say about that.
    4. Sex ed teaches more than anatomy of the opposite sex. Education over ignorance is a necessary and valuable resource in all parts of life. Do you start just pressing buttons when you're programming the car stereo or do you read the manual first? Also see number 1.
    5. The great thing about kids is that you can tell them whatever story you want because they weren't even born when it happened!

  • Not everyone believes in marriage, so not all people want to get married. Regardless of that, they should do whatever the hell they want because it's their body, therefore their choice. If this mytake was titled "5 reasons why will I abstain from pre marital sex" it would have been so much better because you would have been simply sharing your opinion instead of pushing it onto others.

  • I personally want my children and grandchildren to safely explore their sexual lives. Waiting for marriage is really unnecessary.

  • None of that is true. It sounds like it was written by someone who has no clue what she is talking about.

    I won't even have a third date with a woman unless we are already having sex, and you think getting married blind is a good idea? Hardly.

    As it turns out, in the US, only about 2% of women are virgins when they marry. The average age of a woman at marriage is about 27. But the average age of a virgin marriage is 19. Women who marry when they are younger than 23 have an astronomical divorce rate. I was just thinking about it, and I cannot think of any woman I know who is currently under 75 years old who married at 23 and under and did not get a divorce.

    I haven't asked her, but one of my dear friends from high school was a devout Catholic, so I presume she was a virgin when she married at 22. When she was 31, she was going through a tough time, trying to reconcile her desire to divorce her husband with the Church's prohibition on divorce. She divorced her husband.

    • My paternal grandmother is now in her 80s. She got married to a man about her age in her early 20s and stayed married until her husband died. Then, she re-married to another man about her age, and she outlived him too. She remains single and alive to this day. As far as I know, her oldest daughter visits her often. Her oldest daughter helped her take care of the younger kids.

    • What does that have to do with anything? The article was written by someone who sounds like she has no idea what she is talking about. Your example was of someone who is over 75, which does not contradict my observation.

    • Fine. My parents never had sex before marriage either. That's highly unlikely. They lived with their parents for convenience. They had full-time jobs. Dating ALWAYS meant marriage or at least a serious intention to marry. So, the likelihood that they would have sex before marriage would be extremely low. This myTake is a reflection of my observations in my personal life and scientific papers. Pre-marital sexual abstinence matters, whether people like to think of it or not.

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  • I know a lot of people who did abstain until marriage... Then they found out that they weren't sexually compatible and it ruined their marriage

    You can't buy the car without test driving it, you might not like the car!

  • Personally I would not buy a car without a road test, I would not buy a house without thorough examination, and I most certainly would not marry again without assurance of reasonable degree of sexual compatibility.
    To achieve the latter you ned a period of 'road testing' each other having sex with open communication.
    by the way I have been married, and divorced, twice!

  • I wanna know the conversation with your kids or even grankids on #5
    "Hey Kiddo Daddy here didn't have sex till marriage isn't that great?"
    Lol why the hell do your kids or grankids need to know about your sex life

    • No, the kids will just know that pre-marital sexual abstinence is expected, and that the parents are true to their word. Finding out that your Mom and Dad had you out of wedlock, despite teaching you pre-marital sexual abstinence, is enough to make you think that they are hypocrites. They must be true to their word.

    • So I should expect my kid to miss out on a pleauring, stress relieving, fun, bonding activity? Seems kinda fucked up. Anyways there is no rule that parents have to be truthful. Hell 99% of the time they lie lol. Then for some reason *this is still talking about their sex life* you tell them that abstinenece is important until marriage and you are a good example... Seems sorta off

    • My parents had me out of wedlock and I could not care less.

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  • Why tho? OP? Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?
    img.ifcdn.com/.../...bb03f49ae7be975eafe299e_1.jpg

  • Bullshit. If neither knows anything they can't learn or teach and no you don't always adapt to each other's needs. It makes both wonder what it's like with others and if the sex they're having is actually good. I know this from my mother's experience. Have fun believing that bullshit

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