Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Maybe it's the prospect of losing control, or of being desired by someone you love that they disregard feeling like they have to respect most societal norms of otherwise treating you like a delicate little China-doll and just let their primal side come out to play.
You don’t have to know what you want going into it, at all. That’s why it’s considered “play.” This isn’t life, darlings. This is sex, and sex is meant to be fun.
For many, the appeal of BSM is in how much passion it involves. A bit of a kink, for some a lifestyle, in which couples can private explore each other’s bodies. Tracing any marks they have made on each and every curve or muscle. If you and your significant other are into BDSM, that doesn’t have to define you as individuals. It simply means that you’re both interested in expressing your passion and love for each other in a way that is outside of the norm. That for you two, ‘making love’ does not always have to equate to strictly missionary at a slow pace, on a bed covered in rose-petals with soft jazz music playing in the background.
Likewise, rough sex does not always have to equate to ‘fucking like rabbits’, or going at it with reckless abandon. Rough sex is not something always done with a NSA, in ‘fuck and chuck’ contexts. On the contrary, rough sex is generally something people are okay doing only with those who they trust and care for enough that the thought of the line between pain and pleasure being greatly crossed doesn’t even cross their mind.
We all crave having a bond with someone; a union with our respective partner built on a foundation of trust and love, with insane sexual chemistry being like the cherry on top. To some, the ultimate if not only way to express love for their partner is via a more traditional route. The traditional route would be that sex in strictly missionary, with lots of kissing and all, is the ultimate expression of ‘true love’.
Well… what if I told you that for some, there’s no way to feel closer to their partner than through BDSM-inspired sexual activities?
That giving themselves to their s/o, in a very vulnerable state, and trusting that they will still respect each other’s boundary lines and be able to keep their most primal sexual desires in check is pretty damn empowering, for lack of a better word.
Though I once was one of those people who viewed BDSM as something dirty and shameful- mostly reserved for those who have major psychological issues to deal with and such. I’ve since come to see how very mistaken I was with that. Through my own experience, I’ve come to see that you don’t have to have ‘mental issues’ to enjoy BDSM-related kinks, be they bondage, dominance/submission, or even sado-masochism.
I firmly held onto those beliefs until I began dabbling in it myself. Only then did I come to see that, though many parts of BDSM-related activities do emphasize things like both physical as well as psychological discipline, and may involve a bit of a power play, all of those things generally take place only once the couple has a built a very strong foundation of trust between themselves. Nothing is done without full consent from both parties, which in turn will contribute to there being mutual satisfaction all around.
TRUST
The first thing that comes to mind for most when they think of BDSM is abuse and a straight up weird dynamic. Whips? Chains?
Definitely crazy.
In reality, however, it’s anything but. Hell, you don’t even need whips or chains to participate in BDSM. There’s a whole spectrum of kinks that fall into BDSM, most of which are more focused on role-play than the involvement of any props like collars, whips and such.
Contrary to popular belief, the bulk of this kink is built on trust. Trust between two people that is so strong, that the resulting rush you get once you get to experience the incredible intimacy of putting yourself in harm’s way but there being no doubt in your mind that you’ll be perfectly safe is indescribable.
When trust trumps the possibility of harm, the result can feel incredibly intimate and erotic.
COMMUNICATION
To many, the first thing that comes to mind when BDSM comes up is perverted, dehumanizing, degrading, or some variance of that. Many people consider BDSM perverted, dehumanizing, or worse.
To those who’ve taken the time to do some actual research into it versus simply internalizing the general mind-set of it according to society, though, you’d see that in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most nurturing, loving, and intimate form of human contact or adult play possible.
Not that there’s anything wrong with being vanilla af, but people who choose that route will quite often end up having sex with next to no conversation or negotiation. No voicing what they’d like more or less of, or new things that they’d like to try. Especially if you’re into casual sex, you’ll be bumping uglies with zero conversation, or emotional connection.
On the flip-side in BDSM, making sure to arrange things in advance to make sure that communication regarding things such as a safe-word and establishing clearly set boundary lines is essential before engaging in BDSM-play.
Heck, even not so rarely-encountered things like slaps on the bum during doggy, light pressure on the girl's neck when she's on top, nibbles on the earlobe or even edging bordering on orgasm-denial would fall into practicing BDSM and that no longer makes it sound all that twisted, now does it?
You don’t have to be a ‘masochistic sexenthusiast’ to know that pleasure and pain can be felt simultaneously. Funnily enough, I'm sure that 99% of us have enjoyed of the pleasures of a delicious meal laden with spicy chili peppers or the blissful ache following a long-distance run and never looked back.
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