Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Awhile ago I saw some people here talking about this in comments. Of course, it isn’t a new idea or new to me but it does give me the chance to say what I think about it now. It actually has been a topic I’ve wanted to write about for a long time but something else always pops up that I want to write more. Well, now it’s your lucky day =)
It starts with each of us…
Researchers and sexperts say that sex is more mental for women...but that men think about it more! So if this is really true I would imagine that sex must be more mental for men. Either way I don’t really buy it.
It actually is impossible for sex not to be mental for any of us, male or female. Sex and sexual stimuli actually begins in the brain before it begins in the genitals. And when I say this I’m not talking about stuff like homosexuality, I’m talking about what makes us feel sexual and what turns us on. What’s sexy and arousing to one person’s brain, isn’t so much for the other. Everybody’s different. But it all starts in the brain for us.
In order for me to feel sexual about something or about a woman, it first begins with either a sexual thought, or something that tickles my sexual mind about her. Some women have the ridiculous idea that guys can just look at a woman and we’re instantly horny and want sex. It doesn’t work like that. There still has to be something about her that even stirs that kind of excitement mentally for us in the first place. Women also classicly forget that sexy to one man is just so-so or unattractive to another man. One guy gets a real hard on from this girl, while another one can’t see the sex appeal in her. That’s mental. Something in your sexual mind associated with your individual preferences and chemistry just can’t get with it, and you wonder how somebody else can.
Fantasies…
Another example - if not the biggest - of sex being mental for both men and women is having sexual fantasies and desires. Where do sexual fantasies start? In the mind. We all have them, and we want to make them happen. What our sexual mind is turned on by goes to our crotch. Our genitals can’t want what our sexual mind isn’t into. At some point in our lives we will have sexual thoughts and desires, and these are what construct our human sexual development. Without them, we would never want sex.
A lot of women say that sex is more physical for men, and it tells me how women don’t really understand the male sexual stimulus as much as they think they do. It’s an idea that sounds like it makes sense in theory and on paper, but loses a lot of value in reality. To me, whenever I hear that, I imagine some guy just having sex with any woman purely because it’s about a physical need, with no real attraction to the woman, as if it’s a robotic action. Some women also say guys fuck women who are fat and ugly just because the sex was available. I sometimes wonder if they’re really being serious about that or using insult, because the vast majority of men are not going to fuck a woman who is truly not attractive to him, available sex or not. Why? Because the thought of even having sex with an ugly woman is revolting. There the brain goes again. I highly doubt that most men would just close their eyes, hold their breath, and fuck away. There would be nothing for them to gain from it. A man wants sex with a woman he desires in his mind and has had fantasies about, not the polar opposite.
Some people also say they have trouble with thinking about an old partner while they’re having sex with their current one, or they suspect their partner is thinking about someone else while they’re doing it. This is more proof of sex in the brain. You’re doing the physical act, but your mind is somewhere else with someone else.
Orgasm may be the biggest proof of the mentality of sex. Endorphins are released from the brain at climax, giving that feel-good druggy sense in your mind and all over your body. Physically you’re satisfied by ejaculation or female contractions, but your brain also feels really, really good from it too.
Repression of women...
Often times I hear arguments from some women blaming men for “years of sexually repressing women" in world societies for why you have women who are 30 or 40 and never masturbated, don’t understand sex, and don’t orgasm, and you have plenty of studies with high numbers of these women. That would be any convenient, easy answer, but isn’t really the right one. In this modern world, I am just not convinced that sexual repression of women decades or centuries ago would have anything to do with a woman today not being in touch with her sexuality. Especially when the world we live in now is swamped in the overexposure of sex, not to mention sexual education and sexual imagery is easier to access than clean water. So there are all kinds of things at a woman’s disposal for her to get in touch with sex. Even with the modern glamorization and oversensationalism of the female orgasm and talk of its importance in comparison to men’s, any woman can get in on it.
So it’s hard for me to believe that repression of women’s sexuality from years back would have anything to do with women now. If she grew up in a particularly strict, religious household or suffered sexual abuse growing up, I would be able to understand - and I have talked to women like that over the years online, but I don’t think they really represent the whole concensus of females.
If a woman can’t orgasm or doesn’t want sex, it’s most likely something going on in the sexual brain. For some reason she hasn’t had a sexual awakening yet, or has simply lived a life of not really focusing on it or really anticipating and desiring it, so she’s not particularly turned on by anything or anyone. It might always be this way, or it might just last longer than some others. Either way I don’t really see it as a dysfunction or even as societal repression. In truth, I think these kinds of women are just publicized more which leads us to believe it's still very common. There are men out there who also aren't very sex-driven or care about it much, but it's not popular to really talk about them unless we can devalue male sexual prowess by highlighting ED.
Erotica and pornography are the same…
Both sex lit and porn can excite the mind, when it’s something that really turns the person on. For me most porn doesn’t really do anything unless it’s about the kinds of sexual things I’m into, and even then when I watch some just to see, it’s usually disappointing because it’s almost never how I fantasize about it or want it, but is a lot of ridiculous, exaggerated crap.
For example: when I fantasize about being deepthr*ated, I imagine the woman is keeping me gobbled up non-stop, and when I cum she either grabs my wrists to make me powerless or whips her arms around my hips to hug me deeper into her throat, as if she’s passionately drinking from a fountain in endless thirst until I’m empty. A little too much information for ya, I know, lol. But it goes in part with how deepthr*at porn is a drag 98% of the time. Why? Because it doesn’t happen like it does in my mind. Most throat porn is either that really vicious stuff where the guy is holding the girl’s head down on his cock and she starts gagging, or the girl actually is throating him pretty good most of the way through, but then the whole thing goes to hell when he wants to jack off the rest of the way and cum on her face or while she’s holding her tongue out. That’s not hot to me. A facial that doesn’t happen sincerely is not a turn on, nor is it sexy when the girl holds her mouth wide open to receive it.
Good tittyfkuc porn is also hard to find. I want to see amateur stuff where the guy is tittyfukcing the girl all the way through until he shoots it right in her eye or face and she gets annoyed by it and starts cussing. I’ve been fortunate to see a few of them, but again, 98% end with the guy pulling out of her boobs and j*cking off until he jizzes on them or in her mouth. A real let down. Why? Because my sexual eye and sexual mind are not gratified by that.
Women like saying that men are visual which is one reason why guys like porn, even though quite a lot of women in these times watch it and like it. What women also don’t think about is that reading erotica is really no different for them than porn. It’s all visual. The difference is that erotica makes you have to use your imagination to view sex and stir sexual excitement. And where does imagination start? In the mind. 50 Shades of Grey - both the books and the movie - made a hell of a lot of money off of the lust and sensual gratification of women and their minds. And if all the other sex novels out there women read were made into full length pornos under the guise of novel adaptations, there’s no doubt in my mind that they’d make a boatload of money either.
That’s just how it is…
The mental aspect of sex is really not limited to just one gender. It actually is the natural way of things for all of us. Imagine trying to have sex without even thinking about it or thinking about who you’re having it with. It’s impossible. Something has to stir your mind to want it, and with who. Most guys are not going to have sex with some woman just because she’s there or she asks like women enjoy thinking. That’s not enough to get the deed done. You have to be my type. You have to know what I like. And you generally have to be somebody I’m already familiar with to some extent. A random woman asking a guy is usually going to be a source of concern and question for us.
I sometimes wonder if women are quick to monopolize the idea that sex is more mental for them as another way of wanting to seem as if they're more profound or important in some way, or as if it would indicate that their sexuality and sexual functions have some sort of intelligent depth. Or as if they want to seem like they're above base, carnal desires they view men as having, but really are no different. To me this actually indicates insecurity in women. Men never need to try to explain their sexuality as something profoundly different, but are comfortable with what it is and what they are, and don't really care how people see it.
It also seems to be that by thinking sex is more physical for men, it would be an easy answer for women to live with, just like with thinking the orgasm is always good for a guy even if the sex is bad. It doesn't require women to have any real understanding of men to assume how simple or easily pleased they can be with sex, so they can live with that. But to imagine that males are creatures similar to them or who have their own functions that have to be understood seems to be tough for women to do. Maybe this is because women tend to view themselves as being complex creatures, so to think that their counterparts might be the same way is double trouble they don't want to deal with. So it's just easier to assume that they're simpler, and don't have to put in any real work to look deeper.
Just my 2 cents.
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