Sexual Relationships
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10 Reasons Why I Wish I Was An Aromantic Asexual

An asexual is someone who experiences no sexual attraction. An aromantic asexual experiences no romantic attraction but a romantic asexual experiences romantic attraction. Aromantic asexuals don't want relationships while romantic asexuals want relationships.

I was always a very sexual girl who craves for relationships which is so annoying at times. I honestly envy asexuals so much.

1. I wouldn't need to worry about rejection

It's never a good feeling to be rejected because of your looks and/or personality.

10 Reasons Why I Wish I Was An Aromantic Asexual

2. I wouldn't need to worry about STDs or an unplanned pregnancy

STDs have been on the rise and it's like you just can't have sex with anyone. I'll never know. My boyfriend could probably cheat on me and then give me an STD. It has happened many times before in other people's relationships.

3. Domestic abuse won't ever happen

People who aren't going to be relationships don't face the possibility of facing this kind of abuse. But thank goodness, I'm not facing this kind of abuse right now.

10 Reasons Why I Wish I Was An Aromantic Asexual

4. I wouldn't have to worry about getting played

I wouldn't ever get used for sex.

5. No heartbreaks

No relationships = No heartbreaks

10 Reasons Why I Wish I Was An Aromantic Asexual

6. I wouldn't get left for someone else or get cheated on

Something like this could happen and it's not a good feeling to be in that situation. Betrayal is a horrible feeling. It would suck to know that I wasn't his first choice..

7. I wouldn't be called a slut

That term just wouldn't apply to me at all.

10 Reasons Why I Wish I Was An Aromantic Asexual

8. I wouldn't be called shallow because of my preferences

That term wouldn't apply to me because if I don't date then I wouldn't be having preferences.

9. There would be more time to myself

I wouldn't have to be so involved with another person and make sacrifices for them. My mind wouldn't think about sex and love. It would think about other important things.

10. No weddings

Weddings are expensive. My sister's wedding will cost thousands of dollars. I don't want a cheap wedding because that would hurt my ego and not having a wedding will hurt my ego too because it just shows that I settled with a man and had kids without having a wedding. If I was asexual, I would never have a wedding which means no added expense. Weddings are also stressful, so what's the point of weddings?

10 Reasons Why I Wish I Was An Aromantic Asexual

I know there will be at least one person who will try to claim that asexuality is not a valid sexual orientation which is very dismissive and ignorant because you are basically saying that a group of people don't exist and are not valid. Just because you don't believe in something, it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist! The picture down below shows the colors of the asexual flag and the black symbol ring on the middle finger. #AsexualAwareness

10 Reasons Why I Wish I Was An Aromantic Asexual
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Actually 7 and 8 are wrong. Being an aromantic asexual would not guarantee that you wouldn't be called slutty or shallow. People use those words all the time towards people who don't actually fit the description.

    Regardless, I kind of wish I was one too. It sucks desiring something you may never have. It also sucks to get something you really wanted and then lose it. And like you said stds, and unwanted pregnancies also suck. So I do think its potentially better to not to desire sex/relationships at all.

    • Do keep in mind asexual people deal with a lot of social, societal and demographic disadvantages. I would know, I am both ace and aro. I am still don't want to die alone, and I feel like I am more than a hundred times more likely to do so than other people especially straight people. Our demographic is tiny.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You don't even have to be asexual to avoid 2,3 6 9 and 10. Don't want to get pregnant or risk getting an std.. keep your legs closed. Avoid abuse and cheaters by not getting involved with those type of men, want more time to yourself.. then just stay single. Don't get married then you don't have to worry about wedding... and wedding doesn't have to cost a fortune.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Hey! Asexual and aromantic person here. Look I know there are things that I do my have to deal with that nonasexual and nonaromantic people do, but you are wrong on several things and you are ignoring plenty of problems that we deal with.

    1: I feel rejected all of the time. I still want to be the most important person in the world to someone, and visa versa. We are very unattractive in that regard, people typically spend the majority of their time with their SO. fair enough, but that sucks for us. I recently lost a good friend, because they got distant after getting a new boyfriend, that she did not tell me about.
    2: we can still have sex. Oftentimes we do because it is so hard to find a primary relationship when you are unwilling to have sex
    3: less likely, but not nonexistent
    4: fair
    5: same as rejection
    6: look back at what I said for 1 and 2
    7: well I am a guy, but ace girls still get judged for what they wear, etc.
    8: by people that don't respect asexuality, you would get called shallow more often
    9: probably true, but we get lonely too. Plus non loniness is harder for us secure.
    10: you can still want a life partner, I don't know if I want to get married though

    Also keep in mind that the asexual experience in this society is not a fun one. For more on that here is a take I wrote a while back: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a7788-finding-out-that-you-are-asexual

    I don't think your take had bad intentions, but we obviously we are misunderstood. Good luck! Have a good day 😊💜

    • 1. We all get rejected by other people including friends, not just for dates 2. I have no idea why an aromantic asexual would have sex to please somebody. I thought only romantic asexuals would do that. 5. sexuals also face heartbreaks from people who are not their partners 7. I wouldn't mind being called a slut for what I wear but getting called a slut for my sex life is worse. 8. why in the world would an aromantic asexual be called shallow? for not being attracted to people? that's stupid because that is not a choice.

    • 1. I know, but to an extent is it relative. So me being rejected by the person I care the most about still sucks a lot. in my opinion it probably sucks more than the worst non sexual rejection that non ace and non aro people deal with, because it is the friendship/ relationship that I care the most about in the world. 2. Well I have not, but some of us still want life partners even if we are not in love with them, and this could lead to having sex to secure that relationship; same as romantic aces, albeit less common 5. I know, but again don't ignore the relative factor 7. Fair, slut shaming in general is utter horseshit. But still don't forget that ace girls still get called sluts, prudes, get cat calling, etc. 8. I don't know, but it happens unfortunately

    • And also like I said, you can't "want to be asexual and aromantic" while wanting to be exempt from all of the social, societal and democratical problems that we deal with. I would be the same as me saying I want to a woman, but I don't want to get hit on, etc.

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  • Well, are you sure you would like to be that way just to avoid the above issues? I would imagine there would be a certain "middle ground" you can find where you can be sexual and romantic if you feel that way. I'd hate to see you abandon sex and romance if it isn't really "you" to do that is what I'm saying.

    • Well asexuality and aromantism exist on spectrums. Someone can be grey asexual or grey aromantic, where you feel sexual or romantic attraction but to an extent that is lower than the advantage non ace/ non aro person. But I think you are more referring to dealing with your given orientation, rather than changing it.

    • @shessoheavy Maybe the original posted who started this thread is resorting to "escapism" to avoid some of the issues dealing with sex and romance. Not being critical or saying "yay" or "nay". I went through it when I was 20 because I was dealing with a college load, death in the family, and preparing to transfer into a professional school. I didn't feel like I could "add on" a romantic relationship and carry on with my life as it was at that time.

  • Good Take :D however you might still get called a sl*t bc some people call women sl*ts if they so much as go braless.

  • And don't forget the ability to look cool while you able to "Ignore the Fan Service". :D

    tvtropes.org/.../IgnoreTheFanservice

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ob3FB9HgBWw

  • Life would be so much better if we were all asexual. No drama and no rapes would happen.

    My response to this "Sounds like you need a can of Grow Up.
    You're just afraid of the negatives in a relationship and are choosing to not experience them instead of accepting them and moving forward." -
    @ TheTruthHurtsImSorry: Who the fuck can choose their sexual orientation? It's not a choice.. She hasn't said anywhere that she chooses to not experience the negatives. Why don't you learn how to read first? No one accepts the negatives, people just hope not to face them. An aromantic asexual just doesn't have to deal with them and that's just something people wish they didn't have to deal with either. It sounds like you need a can of grow up because what you said makes 0 sense.

  • I am a romantic ace and for the most part it's great. As it stands now, I have a few friends that are married and $10,000 in debt because of this (+student loans). I have never had to worry about marriage, children and sexual relationships and as a result I currently have a surplus of money and graduated completely debt free.

    Moreover, I said romantic ace, however since there is no sexual component to it, it is very easy to "fall in and out of love" as such I never form strong relationships with anyone.

    Sometimes I thought this was a curse... but to come to realize it... perhaps I have been blessed with the greatest gift of all!

    • You are definitely blessed !! It makes staying single much easier. Many men " go without " even in relationships ( most marriages are sexless ) , hence my post on the " male curse "

    • @FatherJack Haha I don't know why but I found that username amusing. I do have the occasional urge for kinky sex (which I fulfill through hook ups) but I'm usually completely devoid of arousal/attraction for months at a time. Yep I have heard of that sex drop off post-marriage. I feel bad for those guys tbh. Even my dad confessed to me that this was the case

  • Being attracted to people would not cause the things you listed. Your actions would.

  • I am still single and a virgin, but fuck if a women called me a man slut, I wouldn't care I had sex with her, and I would say if you want to argue with that logic then i would say your a slut for having sex with me!

  • Can you be an "aromantic asexual" and still be human? :P

    • Dr House, is that you?

    • I am aro and ace, and yes I am human. Even if I did feel like I was less than human before I found out about these concepts

    • @shessoheavy It was basically a joke.

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  • Sex is the best :-)

  • Im a grey aro ace. Most of this list applies to me. But aro's can have crushes (yet it depends on the individual) and some asexuals do masturbate or have sex. Look on Aven and the aromantic/asexual community there is a whole spectrum of us.

    People think im cold because theyre like "i love you" and im like i have no feelings for you then walks off.

    • Oh yeah and some asexuals are married and have kids and same with aromantics.

  • Great article. I wish I was as well.

  • This is old and I'm sorry but I came across this and I want you to know that I've literally never dated and I still get called "slut" and "ho" periodically.

  • Many people face all of the above despite being aro ace.

  • Sounds like you need a can of Grow Up.
    You're just afraid of the negatives in a relationship and are choosing to not experience them instead of accepting them and moving forward.

    • Sounds like you need a can of logic

  • I'm sure that some people would still call u a slut.

    And I don't agree with u. You could as well say "If I weren't alive I wouldn't have the problems of a living person" and suicide isn't a solution right?

    And there is a solution for every point u mention. I think it's not difficult to find a guy who doesn't want to marry for example.

  • Grass is always greener on the other side. Accept what you are and move on

    • Exactly

  • Isn't it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all I respect asexuals but that's just my opinion lol

    • Fair, but love is not limited to romantic love

    • @shessoheavy to me love is only romantic if you don't have romantic feelings it's not love like for your parents and siblings and such that's different I don't know what to call it but for me it's not defined as love this just me though I'm weird 😅

    • Fair, but that would just boil down to how you define the word. Words and language in general are great, but are also limited

  • You probably just need a good husband.

  • It would certainly make life so much easier , most men at some point wish they could hit the OFF / DELETE button for their sex drives , to the OP , you try living with a man sized sex drive , due to our far higher testosterone levels , we are cursed with way higher sex drives than you ladies , more so younger men... hated & resented mine as a young man , when I was a serving soldier on operations , it's an unwanted curse & a fucking pain. Also male sexuality is portrayed by " society " as disgusting , " rapey " , perverted & predatory.

    Thankfully for me , as a single dad , age & stress / tiredness has faded mine greatly , I'm using my sheer bloody minded willpower to suppress / destroy what's left , my chosen situation will mean permanent celibacy , my children come first !!

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