Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Women have heard that sex is not just physical for men, but they’ve never understood exactly what that meant. You might as well have told them that a singularity in space is important for the creation of a black hole. The purpose of this article is to help shed some light into the emotional value of sex for men, and why sex with some women is more emotionally rewarding than sex with others. First, let’s consider two types of sex that have no emotional value for men.
Rape, is the act of physically forcing the other person to have sex with you; or forcing sex onto them. Prostitution, like rape, is the act of reducing sex to a commodity for sale, attaching a price tag on it to be paid, acquired and enjoyed. In both cases, they lack the elements necessary to be emotionally rewarding to men; “acceptance of the man as a sexual partner” because of the “desire to have sex with him.”
The less present these two elements are in sex, the less emotionally rewarding sex is to a man. With that said, let’s explore dating and stereotypical sexual relationships.
In your high-school mode of dating and relationships, there is normally a great deal of time and money involved before a couple begins to have a sexual relationship. This is usually because of girls being socialized to feel a negative character association with terms like “easy, cheap, or slut.” In an effort to circumvent these associations, there is a waiting period which guys are told is to “see if he’s just looking for sex” or “if he’s really serious about you”; but is really there to cater to a girl’s emotional needs at that age.
From the guy’s point of view, when the couple does actually begin to have sexual relations, the emotional reward from such sex is greatly reduced. The guy is left feeling more that he “paid for it” than he is feeling like the “man she’s accepted having sex with because she desired having sex with so badly.” For the purpose of analogy, imagine a 45 year-old woman dating a 20 year-old guy. Although she wants to have sex with him, he doesn’t exactly appear to show the same desire. It’s not until 3-6 months of dating that they finally begin to have sexual relations. Is she left feeling like “he wanted her so badly that he just couldn’t help himself?” or that “she paid for it (implicitly: that she’s not sexually desirable)?”
In your college mode of dating and relationships, the amount of time and money involved before a couple begins to have a sexual relationship is significantly less. Girls are now young-women, they’ve left home, they’ve stopped watching Disney and started watching HBO. In other words, their view of the world is more in touch with reality, and less in touch with fantasy; at least as much as it was before. At this point, for the first time, men first experience the emotional pleasures from having sex. Men feel accepted, desired and wanted. And those feelings aren’t tainted. They can’t look at themselves and say “if a guy dated me for 3 months and blew $2,000+ on me; I’d f#*& him too!” This is the first time guys experience being accepted, desired and wanted just for being them!
In your post-college mode of dating and relationships, the amount of time and money involved before a couple begins to have a sexual relationship is so immaterial; it might as well be nothing. Girls have grown up into full-fledged women. They’re busy with professional schooling, a career, and life. They don’t have time for bullsh*t and games. They’re either looking to have sex or to get married, and they’re not getting any younger; so there’s no time to waste playing patty-cake. But ironically, guys no longer feel as strong an emotional pleasure as before. Those positive feelings of being accepted, desired and wanted are quickly replaced with feeling used. As awesome as some guys thought it would be to be used for sex, they come to realize that it reduces their value to something animalistic and almost worthless. Men quickly begin to feel like just a penis, pressured to be constantly horny, erect, long-lasting, and constantly satisfying.
And we arrive finally to the gold-digger. A gold-digger is a woman, just like that mentioned in the preceding paragraph; with one major exception. The gold-digger has nothing of value to offer a man. She has no life, she has no career; she has nothing positive to actually contribute to a relationship. But she has aspirations of a higher standard of living, and in order to attain that lifestyle she wants for herself and her family, she seeks to find a man who has all those positive things to add to a relationship. She does justice to the phrase; “a successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend; a successful woman is one who finds and marries such a man.”
When a man is dating a gold-digger, he is well-aware of what he’s getting involved with. The reason he proceeds forward, is because he wants to. Not because she can give him what he wants sexually, but because he craves something emotionally. The gold-digger is nothing in front of the man she’s digging for. This is much like a medical student is nothing in front of Harvard Medical School, or a law student is nothing in front of Yale Law School. The schools have everything to offer, the student would do anything to get into those schools. When the schools see the trials and tribulations the students have gone through to gain acceptance by the school; it’s very flattering to say the least.
That’s exactly how a man feels with a gold-digger. She starves herself and works herself to death to stay in shape. She spends her time and money buying sexy clothes and taking care of herself. She spends hours in front of the mirror making sure her looks are satisfactory to the man she’s trying to win over. She creates dissonance in her own personality and a dissociative gap in her psychology from the difference in the person she actually is, and the girl she thinks the guy would want her to be. She lies to herself, so that it can be easier to lie to the man she’s trying to win over. She pretends to be emotionally and sexually interested in the man she’s trying to win over. And above all, his pleasure and satisfaction comes first.
This is a woman, who has automatically submitted completely to the man in every possible way. She has surrendered herself completely to him; implying that he dominates her in every single way. This is analogous to the beautiful stripper who will dance at the drop of a single $1 bill. The man feels accepted, desired and wanted on a completely different and new level. This level is more valuable than simply sexual. There’s a feeling of pure raw power, to be able to make a human being submit and surrender to you completely. To be able to control and dominate another person so fully.
Implicit in the woman’s behavior is that what she has to offer to the man, is far less valuable than what she wants from him. Phrased differently, what she wants from the man, is of far more value than anything and everything she could possibly offer him in return. In this respect, there is no greater emotional pleasure for a man, than to find himself in this kind of relationship.
With that said; now you know why.
Why Men Love Gold-Diggers
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