Why Having A Fu**Buddy is Better Than Having A Boyfriend

[Anonymous]

I like the idea of having a boyfriend, but there's so much physical and emotional commitment involved. Even if it breaks the 'rules' (why should fuck buddies have rules?) I like fuck buddies because:

There's No Commitment

It seems that sometimes with friends with benefits, since you were friends first, people assume it's exclusive. Of course it isn't supposed to be unless you decided it was before, but some people think like this. Fuck buddies are straight up; things are clear since you were strangers before usually.

You Can Have Fun Without Others

No meeting friends/family. You don't have to hang out with anyone else since you weren't friends first. You can just hang out solo with each other and do whatever you want. You could do that anyway, but....it'd be more awkward.

No Sexual Commitment

Sure, you can fuck others. But this point is about how you don't have to have maintenance sex or have to totally care about what your partner wants. Everything is optional with no pressure or stress.

You Can Still Be 'Romantic'

You can be really nice, and do fun things...go out...and just be casual w/o sex. This isn't how it's supposed to be, but why not?

So these are my top 4 reasons...I know these are short, but I think I summed everything up pretty well. I <3 options. And I feel like I can have more benefits with fuck buddies, including closeness.

I wanted to add, stds can take weeks and weeks to show up, so relationships and tests don't solve everything!

[RationalMale]

Why? Numb yourself so that when you have sex with someone you care about, it means nothing? "Hey my true love! This is an activity I only do with lovers. Or casual friends. Or anyone. My gentials have as many miles as rental cars! "

[openthedoors]

Isn't the purpose of dating to find people with whom you would like to have a family and kids? I don't see how a fuckbuddy accomplishes that...

[Izzex3]

I don't date to find someone to have a family with, lmao. Not everyone wants a serious relationship.

[Svengodofman]

@Izzex3 Have you ever seen someone without kids in a hospice? There is a look of sheer terror on their faces. Our primary purpose is to reproduce. Why do you think homosexual couples also want kids? Our biological purpose is to have children, and when that function isn't fulfilled, people die very unhappy. People can live their lives the way they want, but I'm personally in the relationship camp.

[LadyTerror]

@Svengodofman actually no. Majority of the studies have shown that people without children are overall more satisfied with their lives.

[openthedoors]

@LadyTerror tell that to evolution haha

[Svengodofman]

@LadyTerror What @openthedoors said lol. If we were happier without kids our species would be extinct

[LadyTerror]

@Svengodofman I'm not saying that everyone would be happy without kids. But a lot of times it does happen by accident and sometimes they're not ready for it. And sometimes the parents do get divorced, which is usually not good for the child or the parent. But for the people who don't want kids, they've made their choice and are already satisfied with their lives. And honestly, I can't see how having kids would make people happy since I don't see ANYTHING good about having them. All I can think about is negative stuff. Either way, stats show that people without them are indeed more satisfied.

[openthedoors]

@LadyTerror Those stats are probably made up you know that right? They're doing the same thing China was doing except really low key. But seriously have fun with your life you're gonna regret it when you're too old to have kids though. I really hope you become a doctor it would be a shame if you threw away your life for something else when you'll have so much free time because of no kids. But seriously tho if you only look at the negatives in kids you must have some sort of problem. Not judging tho.

[LadyTerror]

Actually, I know many people in their 60s who never wanted kids and majority of them don't regret it. I've personally met more people who do regret having kids. So I'm pretty sure that I'll be fine. And it might be true that the stats might be made up, but it's only logical that people without children would be more happy. They would have less responsibilities, more time to themselves, and less of a drain financially. Honestly, what are the good parts about having kids? The only thing I hear people say are "you won't feel lonely when you're old" or something like that. But you really don't need kids for any of those.

[openthedoors]

@LadyTerror "It's only logical that people without children would be more happy." To you, yes. But to most, having kids is the greatest joy that can ever happen. It was like that for my parents and the parents of most of my friends. I bet it was the same for your parents as well.

[LadyTerror]

Yeah I wasn't speaking for everyone. Obviously everyone feels differently. But I guess we can agree to disagree :)

[QuietRunner]

@Izzex3 I agree with you

[Berethor]

@LadyTerror it's okey, girls who don't want children are good only for casual sex anyway.

[LadyTerror]

@Berethor good for you

[3336PS]

@LadyTerror Single, older men have shared with me they wish they have kids. Their friends with kids told them, they don't regret having kids. Married couples who can't have kids wish and feeling sad that they can't have kids. My 2 kids don't drain my finance. Some of my single gfs in their late 30s feeling sad and realizing their time to be mommy is pretty much over and they try to be happy being single. We are born to procreate. Love comes from having a family. The joy of your own creation is a miracle. We can live and learn to accept we will be single and tell ouselves lies that we can be happy temporarily, but deep down, we are made to continue our lifeline. OP - I can be very happy being alone. But happier when I have a partner and family to share the love, joy, sadness with. F*** Buddies come and go.

[LadyTerror]

@3336PS well I know more people who feel the opposite, so clearly you're wrong that everyone feels that way. It's also ironic that whenever someone tries to convince me to have kids, they only say stuff like "you'll regret it" or "you're made to have kids". No one ever has a good reason as to what the good parts about having them actually are.

[3336PS]

@LadyTerror no one can convince you. you won't know till you actually experience it. also you won't know how you will feel till you are around 40 (being a female) - but most will convince themselves that they are happy being single. most male's biological clock starts when they meet the right woman. and hope to have a fmaily with her. even as young as in their 20s. with the wrong woman, they will know they don't want to be marry to her, but will stay in the relationship till someone else comes along. I am generalizing here... i used to ran away whenever one of my girlfriend have a kid, i wasn't a supportive girlfriend. I loved being single and free. having children, is not a burden when you are happy with your life.

[LadyTerror]

@3336PS you're doing the same thing again. Saying that I'll have to "experience it" to know but giving no reason at all. "having children, is not a burden when you are happy with your life." Except I already am happy with my life. Why are you so convinced that such people are trying to lie to themselves? Are you really that narrow-minded to think that everyone is exactly like you? I'm not telling other people whether they should have kids or not, and what you described might have been true in your experience. But for me, the only would do is ruin my life completely and make me miserable. I'd go as far as to say that death is a better option than having to raise a child. I also don't get why you talk about "being single" when this was never about relationships. It was about having kids. I'm already in a long-term relationship that I've been in one for 3 years.

[LadyTerror]

@3336PS And I know you're again going to say that I just need to experience it to know, which would just prove that you're narrow-minded. And as I said, I know more people that do regret having kids. So really, you're just too dense to comprehend that not everyone is like you.

[3336PS]

@LadyTerror We are not the same. Nor am I trying to convince you to have children. Like you, I am just sharing with you with what I know, learned, and what my firends have shared with me. Also, how nature is. You can call me narrow-minded lol I lived the single, happy life. Guys I dated wants marriage and kids with me early on becasue thats what they feel and see being with me - to create a family. I did, when I was ready. I am happy to have my family to share the love we bring together. There are parents and grandparents on this site. And they look forward to being with their family. They look foreward to share life expereiences with their grand children. Many don't follow this and thats okay.

[BlueCoyote]

I don't think "having no commitment" is a good thing. I wonder how old you are. Maybe it's got to do with my age (although I was already like this as a teenager). I like commitment. I like to have somebody I can fully rely on and plan my future with. Being able to commit to things is a good thing, it's a sign of mental maturity.

[FashionQueen86]

Meh, I'd be too worried by how many people he's sleeping with, which increases my chances of getting an STD.

[HenriJamesJr]

With honest and adequate communication you can still have rules and know you're staying clean.

[sedrftvgyhujik]

I agree you can still have rules ie Tell each other when you slept with someone new and what forms of protection your using with them?

[Jxpxtxr]

Oh I've had a friends with benefits and he was amazing in bed & amazing looking but it all turned really awkward when he developed feelings - we still talk now but we live on different continents :P

[dissolute_dog]

He's probably cursing the sea right now. xD

[Mustachekitteh]

I wouldn't trust a fuck buddy not getting a STD from messing around with other people.

[Elarra]

Pass, I'd rather have someone who loves me and only me and would rather not turn my emotions off. Plus I'm not a hoe.

[SarahsSummer]

I Think you are missing out on some of the best sex by doing it w/out relationships.
And your comment about std's is scary.

[Kaazsz]

The question is how do you get a fuckbuddy in the first place...

[JohnDoe3000]

1) Be attractive. 2) Don't be unattractive.

[Rahdle]

@JohnDoe3000 ha!

[Kaazsz]

@JohnDoe3000 Seems to be right lol.

[Berethor]

The no commitment/no sexual commitment is also the downside of that.

[Streamhopper]

I couldn't do it. I never could. I just commit too much to someone to be able to do that. I understand what you're saying and I get that some people are like that, it's just not who I am. I could never do that. If it works for you, I'm happy for you. Just not something possible for me. :P

[ThisDudeHere]

I have no problems with people who engage in this kind of relationship but I will be honest and say that I would be less inclined to date her, if at all. I mean, chances are she treid some stuff with him that she would never try with "bopyfriend material" guys.

[myTake Owner]

Lots of regular couples are into bdsm and experimental things, although I'm not. Married couples too.

[ThisDudeHere]

None the less this seems to be something guys complain about - girl does whatever with her fuckbuddy, but barely any of that with her boyfriend.

[Chico_brah]

This is the dumbest take I've ever read. You didn't bring in any personal insight on this at all lmao. We all know the pros and cons of dating versus friends with benefits. I'm really trying to understand the point of this.

[myTake Owner]

point #4, which lots of people seemed to have missed. I'm talking about fuck buddies, who can still be friends which is.. not common, but a fun idea.

[damnwinter]

Not for me. Tried it once in my life. I ended up really caring about the guy (as a person, not romantically), but then I started feeling the need for sth real. Didn't wanna freak the guy out, and meanwhile I met another man who actually wanted to commit, at which point, when I broke it to the 'fuck buddy', he decided he wanted a relationship with me after all and loved me. And in the light of all that he didn't want to stay friends, cut all contact with me and this is how I was confused for a while and ended up losing a person I really wanted to keep in my life. Yaaay! Life happens. Life always happens.

[Nothanks700]

so you are spending time with each other, being romantic, and having sex. Yeah, that's a boyfriend. Call it what you will, still a boyfriend.

[myTake Owner]

Not when there's multiple guys xD

[Nothanks700]

So multiple boyfriends. Point is, unless it's a one night stand, there's no separating emotions from sex.

[myTake Owner]

I actually agree with you. I love the emotions srsly.

[Blueheartt]

I'm with you.. Actually I don't believe in mariage or anything like that..

[NightUnderTheStars]

If i am honest i felt really sad reading this. After reading this i think back to all the wonderful times my boyfriend and I shared together and i think i would take that over having a friends with benefits relationship anyway. Its so much more special to me.

[myTake Owner]

Point #4!

[HoneyButterCup525]

Hey as fun as that sounds there's always a down side to it just like everything else.

[LoloWaye]

I want a boyfriend but I keep attracting idiots that want to be friends with benefits. It's really annoying. I actually wanna be loved.

[myTake Owner]

I can relate. Guys can be... but you'll find someone!

[Unit1]

You can have sex with a boyfriend whenever you like. Almost nobody would turn you down. So committed relationships shouldn't hinder sex at all.

As for this take... your individual wall is building up. But it's your thing y'know.

[Berethor]

She was talking about 'maintenance sex', and if a girl have an very low sex drive.

[CisScum]

I mean you can do what you want, it's your life and it's with 2 consenting adults so.

Just from my knowledge it seems most fuck buddies either gain feelings for each other and start dating, one gains feelings and the other doesn't reciprocate so they break up, or one gets too jealous and bad shit goes down.

[Mrwoo99]

This take should of been called 'why I'm dirty and want to whore around rather than find a nice guy for relationships and imagine what my father thinks of me'

[FallOutBoy2001]

And you should be called "an asshole who needs to shut the fuck up and stop shaming people for not being conservative"

[FallOutBoy2001]

I've got a boyfriend, thank you very much.