Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Virgin shaming was something I experienced decades ago, but I'm sure this kind of thing is still around today. I was a virgin until I was 25, because of social backwardness, and lack of confidence. I was skinny, ugly, no brothers or sisters, and had some pretty crappy parents (I sometimes wonder why they even brought me into this world). In high school, I never kissed a girl, went to dances, or dated. Other kids thought I was arrogant because I always kept my head down, wouldn't look at anybody, or say, 'hi!'. The truth is, I wasn't arrogant at all, just very withdrawn and hoping I would be as invisible as possible. They also thought that because I wasn’t flirting around with girls, then I was obviously some closet queer. They had some great names for me too, like 'faggot' and 'fairy boy'. The only friends I had were a few nerd guys that were in the same situation as me. At that time, I was considering suicide, not so much over the virgin thing, but just because my whole life was all jacked up.
After the high school years, I got a new job, moved away from my parents, and did a lot of growing up, but it still took me a couple of years to gain some self-confidence and leave some of the old baggage behind. While I was working out these issues, I would get the same kind of attitude from a few people about sex and virginity. One old guy that I worked with, used to have a lot of fun with my virginity status. Every Monday, he'd walk over to me with a smirk on his face, and say, "Well.....did you get any over the weekend? ha-ha-ha-ha". The odd thing was, I suspect he was actually a virgin himself. He was an old bachelor who always seemed to leer at women, but avoided them. Or maybe he was one of those guys who had sex with prostitutes, in which case he wasn't a physical virgin, but a social/emotional virgin. Sometimes he would give me stupid, unsolicited advice, like "get whatever you can" or "don't turn anything down”, which was funny, because that’s exactly what HE did.
Anyway, by the time I was around 25, I had worked out a lot of my social awkwardness and confidence issues and ended up losing my virginity to a married woman who was looking for a little side action. Later on, that old fart at work came over to me with the "Well.....did you get any over the weekend?" routine. I replied, "Yes", to which he looked stunned, and said, "Really? With who?'. I replied, "With a married woman". He was again stunned, and walked away with a somewhat disgusted look on his face (he was a hypocritical catholic). After that, the virgin shaming seemed to stop, from all quarters.
I wasn't the only one who got crap from those jerks I worked with. There was another old guy I worked with, very straight and strict catholic, who was never married but kept his virginity due to his religious beliefs. He was a nice quiet guy, never mean or judgmental, but those jerks used to torment him until he retired.
This all happened about 35 years ago. I’m a very different, happier person now than I was back then. I’ve been married for 30 years, and have two daughters, all grown up now. Some of you might be thinking ‘Why not just stand up to these virgin-shaming assholes, or just ignore them? Well, that’s easier said than done. I ignored them as much as possible, but their joking and insults would still hurt. As for standing up to them, I can do that now, but when I was all emotionally messed up, and lacking any self-confidence, that was much tougher to do. I’m in a much better place now than back in those days, but I’m sure there are guys out there that are probably having the same issues I once had.
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