The Reality of Being a Side Chick

The Reality of Being a Side Chick

This is my very first MyTake, I hope you guys enjoy! I've decided to talk about something that I'm sure we're all a little too familiar with (unfortunately), side chicks.

More importantly, the reality of being a "side chick". There is no shame, I'll keep it real with y'all, I have been a side chick once myself and honestly it wasn't all that great! There was a lot of crying on my part and a lot of regret, followed by my constant necessity to have him please me one more time and of course there was the constant promise that he would leave her for me. I believed him of course. He was a beautiful man. Sad, what the fuck is wrong with you girl? I know, I know. Not one of my proudest moments. Lust is an evil bitch.

When we think of getting involved with these men, we know what comes with it for the most part. Good sex (maybe), a couple of crazy ex girlfriends (guaranteed), a crazy ass baby momma (bet your bottom dollar) and worst of all, unnecessary stress! That's what we don't think about when we decide to get involved with these men, all the stress and overthinking. How will this affect his child? How will this affect his girlfriend? Will I feel better after having sex with this guy or will I feel worse? Do you have good enough memory to keep up with all the lies? Can you fake a good Chinese accent for when his girl finally decides to call for "Takeout" in his contacts? It is too much!

The Reality of Being a Side Chick

The sex: It will be amazing the first few times. Clothes being ripped off, getting it on in the most spontaneous places (mostly because he can't actually take you home) but after a while it becomes routine and more about him than it ever was about you. He'd rather have you deep throat him for two minutes and nut in your mouth as opposed to enjoying your body and taking his time. They become sloppy and lazy. It's gross and very much the opposite of porn when the girlfriend would catch the adulterers in the act and join in. Trust me, you'll be driving back home a wet mess trying to steer while you finish yourself off anyways. Not fun. Not safe. Okay.. maybe a little fun, but definitely not safe.

The crazy exes and baby mommas: If they're crazy, they probably have a reason why they are that way. However, no one enjoys being chased through a park by some crazy chick with a paddle in her hand. I mean... unless, you're into that kind of stuff. Seriously though, it can become a very dangerous game very quickly if you aren't careful.

The unnecessary stress: As a "side chick" you have so much responsibility (lol stress, I meant STRESS GIRL) Actually shaving your legs, planning places to meet where you won't be seen or potentially caught, having to make time for him when he can't do that for you, having to low key spy on his girlfriend to make sure she isn't low key spying on you, keeping this man satisfied because after all, that is the only reason he comes to you.

The fact of the matter is, the side chick never wins. This man will not come to you forever. Eventually he will work things out with his girl and he will drop you as quickly as he picked you up. We do what we do to feel sexy, for the adrenaline rush, to feel wanted, to fill a certain void we have in our lives but at the end of the night, he gets to go home and lay in bed with someone who loves him while you're going home to nothing. A cold bed and even colder leftovers.

Let's learn to love, value and nurture ourselves, be happy and not mess with other peoples lives and most importantly not mess with other peoples men. xx

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not snark, not sarcasm, totally straightforward serious question:

    Once you get to the "two minutes of throating is all the attention you'll ever get" / "cold bed and colder leftovers" stage...
    ... what's at least stopping you from getting in touch with the girlfriend/wife, and joining up to put the dude through at least *some* hell?

    __

    Don't get me wrong here, but... if yr end-game is "just slink away and don't say a thing", then, you are STILL playing right into the dude's hands -- even after you've supposedly cleansed yrself of him.

    In fact -- that's the single most important quality in a "good" side chick. Not good companionship, not stress relief... hell, not even good sex.
    Nope.
    The single most important thing that a good, docile little side chick can do is... tuck her tail between her legs and just *walk away* when it all goes south. And not tell a soul, and not rock the boat.

    Fuck. That. Noise.

    Girl you SHOULD rock the boat. You should **capsize** the fucking boat. Or at least you should try.

    I know you're viewing a potential encounter with the gf/wife as an incredibly dreadful, Armageddon level nightmare, but... trust me... nope. It isn't, UNLESS you are the kind of woman who just doesn't bond well with other women.

    If you make girlfriends easily *at all*, you can have the gf/wife on yr side in a matter of minutes -- or even seconds.
    Because she's just discovered that the man she THOUGHT she could trust is actually her enemy... and, as we all know, there's a name for the enemy of yr enemy, and that name is "friend".

    No matter how much time has passed since this incident... I would recommend that you consider contacting the gf/wife, letting her know what the fuck is actually up with her oh-so-perfect little relationship, and giving the dude some payback together.
    This will probably work out even better if some time has passed, actually -- because then the gf/wife will know you aren't some crazy bitch who's just been scorned/rejected/turned down and who's just out to create trouble out of pure bitterness.

    ... Or you could just sit back, put a mark in the "L" column, and let the dude put YOU in the "W" column -- and let him keep on doing the same thing to his woman with the next side chick.

    Yr choice.

    • Exactly, I feel like it's totally the cheater's fault. They're the one in the relationship... great answer.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You gotta be really fucked up to agree to be a side chick. The amount of issues a girl has to have to agree to that is insane. I feel like I wanna feel bad for her, but she's willingly participating in hurting a woman (the guy's "main" chick) who did nothing to her.

    A guy who has side chicks is a piece of shit, but so is the girl who agrees to be a side chick.

    • Well said. 👍🏻

    • Exactly... just a cumulative dumpster. Wiped like a toilet paper and thrown to the trash... ehhh yeah.

    • Cum dumpster*

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • This was good read. I think that its also important to note that its best for the sidechick to not get attached. I have seen so may cases where the female gets attached thinking that its going to something more and the guy made it pretty clear that he didn't plan on leaving his wife or girlfriend. Then the sidechick is hurt, depressed, sad and confused. I also feel that if a female is going to do this why not get something of the deal: like trips, money, dinner dates, monthly allowance. I personally wouldn't be a sidechick and get nothing out of the deal.

  • Yes side chicks are real popular in the Marital Affair... All of your above bold statements are true. Chicks just aren't side chicks in uncommitted relationships, but are side chicks to married men to. Can you say relationships that turn toxic? Yep! Good MY TAKE- Good TOPIC- GREAT JOB

  • I can't even fathom how people are ok with that type of 'relationship'

  • Hun talking from experience it's more mental than physical. You don't get into something knowing your a side chuck for a start. And if you do its generally as you feel you can provide something the other can't.

  • When I was 23 years old, a guy asked for my number and I gave it to him under the impression he was single. I later found out that he had a live in girlfriend I wasn't supposed to know about and told him not to call me again. Thankfully, I didn't even have one date with this guy and was smart enough to see through his nonsense.

    I don't care how much you like the guy or how long you've been dating, if you have even an ounce of self respect you would dump the guy. Thing is some of these women really think they can get the guy to leave his girl and run to her, which is honestly quite stupid. And even if he does, who's to say he's not going to leave the new girl for somebody else. As for the girlfriend, if she knows he's cheating with someone else and she stays with him, she's stupid too. I'm sorry, but if you accept disrespect then that's what you get. Kick his ass to curb once you find out he's cheating. That goes for the girlfriend and the side chick because the only person benefiting from the situation is the guy.

    • I remember hearing of a family friend when i was growing up, they said he dates a girl met with others in a double date and ended up interested in another woman so he cheated on the original woman and he ended up marrying the mistress having a family and stayed with her until her death 20 some years later. Madly in love

    • @Blueeyes2016 well I'm happy for them and sorry for the original woman but most cases most cases don't work out like this.

  • I have never understood why anyone would ever put themselves in the position of being the other woman or the other man. That sounds so degrading and unfulfilling.

    • there's some people who will.. wait on your even when you said that you're not interested in a committed relationship. a guy continued to pursue me even when i said that, the reason is that they're looking a relationship even if they say they don't care and refuse to let go

    • a little bit is better than nothing (?)

    • @arineunha a little bit is not better than nothing. I'd much rather not have a guy in my life at all than be his side chick... there is no dignity in that at all. I'd rather be alone with my dignity than a fuck toy.

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  • Don't be hard on all Side Chicks . Some girls become side chicks accidently .
    There's a moral to this story . When you find out you are, dump the guy .
    Well written . Full of information and insight . + a couple of funnys!

  • The kind of person who cheats is an absolute scum bag. The kind of person who helps them cheat is even worse.

    • I don't see how. If I turn down a girl who wanted to cheat with me because she had a boyfriend, she'd just find someone who's unaware of her relationship with her boyfriend. Cheaters are going to cheat anyway, so it's 100% their fault for cheating.

    • So... people who **actually make promises**, and then ACTIVELY BREAK those promises... are somehow LESS guilty than the people who made no such promises in the first place? •_____________________• Not seeing this one, babe. This is like saying, "Murdering someone is bad, but, helping a murderer hide the body is even worse." Huh?

    • @redeyemindtricks I'm not dismissing what the cheater does, yeah you're a horrible human being for it, no doubt about that. But I'm talking about the men and women who know someone is taken, knows they have a family, a marriage a home. They know that person has built an entire life with someone else and they come by and want to take it all away. Sure if you didn't know they had someone then you're a victim too, but if you blatantly knew and still pursued them or it made you want them even more, well then I think you're worse. You're actively trying to destroy someone else's life. It's really not that hard to cut your losses and move on to someone single.

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  • Really well written good first mytake. I agree 1000%. Save yourself the guaranteed heartache and dont mess with taken guys. <3

  • For me if you not happy in your current relationship simply end that relationship and don't play these games

    • It's not always about not being happy in a current relationship. They may be happy, but also desire someone else. They may just like the thrill of being with another person and getting away with it. They may indeed care the person they are in a relationship with but that person may not fulfill all of their desires. My point is there are a load of other reasons a person may have a side chick, being in an unhappy relationship is not always a reason.

  • What the fuck made you agree to be a side chick? Seriously. Did you leave your brain somewhere else? The thought of a taken guy showing interest in me already disgusts me, I don't even want to be friends with someone like that. Won't even talk to them. How could you agree to knowingly be his side chick? Your issues must have been that severe, huh?

    Anyway, everyone makes mistakes and good that you recognize this as a huge Mistake in your life. And consider yourself lucky that you didn't get pregnant from him cause then your life would have even been a lot more fucked up. This is why I don't want to get anywhere near fucked up people. They tend to fuck up other people's lives as well. Learn your lesson, and don't repeat. Next time you might not be as lucky. And good take. Hopefully this would deter any girl who is dumb enough to consider being some asshat's side whore

    • not all side chicks are aware they are the side chick

  • Do you know that a lot of girls are side chicks and aren't even aware? What i'm saying is that many girls boyfriend have more than 1 girlfriend (they just don't know each other).

  • This just made me think of this video.

    https://youtu.be/woOJydDd2vc
    • Is due that one chI know from bad Girls Club? Sara? I think?

    • @Izzex3 I'm not sure. I've never watched the bad girls club.

  • I think it's 100% the cheater's fault not the sidechick's. Also of course he won't commit to the side chick. He's cheating to be with her so why would he ever stay with her...

    • Meh, I disagree. Being an accessory of a crime is no bueno as well...

    • @DBAOracle He's the one with the relationship and responsibility.

    • "He's the one with the relationship and responsibility." True, that makes him the one committing the "crime". But, being a side chick, you're helping him cheat. You've contributed directly to having a woman cheated on. That's being an accessory of a crime... you didn't commit a crime but you directly helped someone else do it.

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  • Yeah, I personally feel like all responsibility falls on the cheater. He (in this case) is the one in charge of keeping himself faithful... it's no one else's job to police his relationship.

  • Interesting read. Honestly though, I still think that the cheater is ultimately in the wrong, as he/she is breaking a commitment made between two people.

  • I love sidechicks👍👍👍adds spice to a relationship

  • Eh practically everyone is everyone else's side order, most just aren't aware of it due to the fact that humans tend to get jealous so need to keep it secret. Monogamy is a silly concept anyway, humans were never meant to be monogamous (certainly not for the males).

  • Amazing MyTake. I enjoyed it a lot. And truthful. Thank you ☺

  • not all girls / woman are aware they are the side chick

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