EXPOSE: Pick Up Is Fake

EXPOSE: Pick Up Is Fake

This will be as brief as possible since I don't think this is a site that would really care one way or another. Women probably already assume it on some level and men here don't seem the pick up type. But still...if nothing else it's a sad story of a worldwide scam that has probably always gone on and will probably always continue you to go on until everyone is having sex with android cyborgs...

A Brief History of "The Game"

Briefly dipping into history as to create a background for the unfamiliar, pick up is a build on the idea of using prescripted "lines" on a woman in a bar to convince her to go home and have sex. The pick up community started out as men sharing lines that worked for them via the internet rather than through word of mouth. From these underground forums, money started to be generated as some men created exclusive clubs that required paid subscription and of those men some ran a thing called "bootcamps" or "classes" on pick up where they would take some guys out and teach them how to pick up girls for a quite a hefty price. From here, things just catapulted into different branches of technique and as money started flowing fast (porn is a trillion dollar industry and naturally leads men to want a porn like lifestyle which then leads them to things like pick up) real businesses started coming up.

Here's where my history gets a little foggy...at some point The Game by Neil Strauss came out and as Neil is an amazing journalist and novelist the book became a best seller. He had a crazy concept sure but it's really just great writing pure and simple that made it famous. Nontheless, it was seen as an expose on this whole underground community. From here, certain "pick up masters" were given television shows, promotional deals etc. while others chose not to get into the spotlight but still use the success of the game to create more mainstream businesses sometimes in direct contrast to The Game. Probably one of the most successful people like this is a guy named David DeAngelo who created the whole "cocky-funny" bit. it should also be mentioned that after The Game something called natural game became more popular whereby all prescripted lines are thrown out the window and confidence is all that matters which somewhat ironically becomes prescripted confidnece since the confidence comes out of a need to impress rather a natural feeling of confidence organically.

What is fake?

Clearly, they can prove they've picked up women with hidden cameras. Clearly, a lot of what they say and teach is based off studying successful guys and breaking down what makes them so attractive and successful with women. That's not what I'm saying is fake. The Game as it were itself is not fake.

They're fake. Their success is fake. a lot of times, their sexual orientation is fake. Their belief in their own success is often either incredibly delusional or out right fake. By all this i mean, they are not successful men at pick up, they approach literally every breathing woman at the club and get rejected by a HUGE amount, they're often homosexuals (confirmed), they start to think they are successful because they go home with a drunk average looking girl after being rejected hundreds of thousands of times over the course of their lives. They often sell ideas and mindsets that don't actually mean anything and laugh and watch the money stack as desperate, insecure men believe it at the cult level.

Why does it matter?

Success in my opinion has very little to do with looks, money, status, or even self esteem. It comes from being validated early on in life and then becoming confident earlier than your peers. For those men who came into themselves later than high school, they often develop insecurity in this area. Even if it's not intense anxiety and panic, they simply don't feel adequate in this area and maintain harsh beliefs that no woman likes them or finds them attractive whatsoever. This makes it difficult for them to have relationships of any kind and so they meet someone that says the answer is this. While it works a little bit of the time, they lose sight of the fact that what they've learned and what they've been able to accomplish is actually very little. They throw thousands of dollars and/or thousands of hours of time studying learning and then being frustrated that they "just don't get it." Then after they've spent all this time it hurts too much to admit they've been lied to. The masters don't have any more mastery or luck or success than they do. They don't know that though because the master in this scenario can just tell the studenthe sucks and as the student is already an insecure person he's likely to just believe him instead of standing up for himself or questioning the teacher/system.

Thats the brainwashing at its true level. When you've given up your rights to think for yourself so greatly that you think they are always right and i am always wrong which is what the pick up masters teach. That there are all these guys getting laid like crazy by women and you're not getting laid so clearly you can't know whats going on and what you're doing is wrong. They push the I was like you i got dumped by my girlfriend and the only girl i'd ever been with and then i saw the light. There are so many of them and so many that believe in them that you can't possibly think its not real. it must be you who's too stubborn who's not trusting the process and that is why you don't have success.

The reason this matters so much at least to me is that really there's nothing wrong with these guys...they aren't doing anything wrong. Success with girls is like anything else it takes a while to break into and often its easier to settle which is what most people do. it isn't any easier to attract women whereever you go as it is to make millions of dollars. Guys don't need to be discouraged or feel that they are wrong or bad or suck. They aren't doing anything wrong. Furthermore, what many of them in my opinion need is good honest therapy with a professional. This is not because they are crazy at all but because they are still hurt mentally by the trauma of their past. its not ptsd but it is something that happened to you either once or over the course of years that made you feel you're doing something wrong, you are wrong, you suck etc. etc. that is common but isn't healthy that needs to be healed. These guys will wander the sahara of rejection because they're following equally unhealthy guys who make up fake stories and cut together videos that cut out all of their failures after failures and make guys feel even worse because they can't match the fantasy that these guys aren't living. Pick up cannot make up for what you feel you are lacking inside. It cannot solve your inferiority complex. Sure, it can tell you to approach girls which any person alive already knows that in order to meet girls you have to talk to them. What makes a guy really successful with girls isn't as sexy as the fantasy of learning pick up and using it to become a super pimp. It's about becoming healthy mentally, it's about getting experiences, and on some level even the guys who get with all the girls know that it could end for them at any second. It probably won't but it could and they'd have to start from ground zero and while it would take them a while to get back there the difference between you and them is knowing that its just a matter of time.

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A few things that can be learned from pick up:

While i just did my best to expose it as a harmful lie, there are a few things that one can learn but again pick up doesn't answer questions it really only brings them up:

Love yourself/ Why don't you?

Exploring the hurt and trauma you feel and why it is that you believe attractive women are so hard for you and so out of your reach. I again go back to the mantra: you're not doing anything wrong. Explore why it is you think you are wrong and realize that forgiving yourself for whatever you feel is bad about you and healing wounds is much more important than having huge muscles or being hilarious

dating is three components: attracting the other person, spending time and building comfort with them, and then becoming sexual with them.

But this is very obvious and doesn't require hours and hours to figure out. it also shouldn't be overanalyzed. you can only really talk to people you find attractive like that and then you should generally get to know them some unless you're both ready to just have sex

Self improvement helps

pick up sometimes references books and then gives it spin with the confines of pick up. the tao te ching the art of seduction the 48 laws of power are some such books. these books not written for the express purpose of picking up girls at a club can be useful in giving you access to knowledge and perspectives you wouldn't otherwise have making you unique. also evne if the book isn't good it can sometimes give you good ideas.

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  • I don't really disagree with much, but i'd view it and assess it a little differently.

    "The game' as you note is real.

    I would also fully agree that the vast majority of paid pick up artist training is being run by complete charlatans who overpromise, under deliver and are basically taking advantage of desperate guys.

    I -also- agree with you strongly that early success builds confidence and then things flow naturally, but a lot (I'd even suggest a majority) of guys have early failure, and that can easily snowball into a spiral of lower and lower confidence. A lot of those guys probably don't need much but to put their past behind them and move forward with more optimism.

    But at the other end of things, there are a lot of guys who really are challenged with social skills, and I can say from personal knowledge and dealing with family members who have severe challenges in these areas, that social skills -can- be taught to a much higher level than the average person thinks. But do 99% of self described pick up gurus out there do a good job? No, they overcharge, don't know what they're doing, etc.

    I'll come right out and say it, I think a lot of the guys who are being drained of money are on the autism spectrum. (Which is something I deal with in my family). They have bad social skills, bad interaction success with women, decent jobs, disposable income, a predilection to 'rules based behavior' and so they hand their money over to a guy who claims to have a system to fix their problem. To be honest, there's actually nothing wrong with guys who are a little on the spectrum paying for social skills, dating and relationship coaching - they need it. The problem is that 99% of the guys they are paying are frauds.

    • Who would you say is not a fraud?