Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
Where did I go??!!
Well, as many people may know the infamous asshat that is @ThatJarHead has been gone for quite some time. Where did everyone's favourite egalitarian psychologist go? I, of course, speak sarcastically as most people here on G@G don't exactly agree with my... let's say "unique" views and opinions.
Regardless, I was dealing with some personal things. Some health concerns were raised and I couldn't continue to write at full calibre when constantly having health concerns at the back of my mind. Another problem is that I kinda ran out of things to talk about. I also started my own company!
^that's its logo^
So big developments in my personal life! Regardless, now I am back to terrorise @Fathoms77 with ridiculous posts and spam poor @xHoneyxBeex with reports of people I don't like making stupid comments on my articles.
Alas, it is story time!
Anywho! For those of you wondering about the title, I am going to share the story of how I lost my virginity with you, good folks! I think the story is a perfect example of how two naive virgins should go about giving each other their virginities.
So! We start with my mother kicking me out. (I was 13-14 at the time) and my girlfriend lived on the other side of the city. I had a friend who lived close by who offered me a place to stay and in return, I had to clean his house and make sure it was all looking good. I happily obliged and made sure his house was clean and took his dog out when he needed to go out.
So, the relationship between myself and this girl was still new. On top of that, neither of us REALLY had any experience with being intimate (in any form, not just sex) so a lot of the relationship was simple experimentation.
I, somehow, managed to convince her my pizza faced ugly mug was worth kissing. That was a feat let me tell you! I was an extremely chubby and acne-cursed kid. One day we were watching my roommate play Saints Row The Third on his computer and I was begging him for a cigarette (There was a reason my mum kicked me out you know!) He through a smoke at me and told me and my girlfriend at the time to go elsewhere.
We walked to a nearby park and sat under a tree. We were both kinda high (probably the only regrettable part of the afternoon) and so we sat there, made out, and generally laughed at stupid things and had fun. As you do!
Eventually, I got bored of sitting under the tree and I took her by the hand and led her back to the house. We sat down on the couch and started to make out once again. We were horny teenagers! What did you expect? This next part, I'm not sure how it happened. I mean, I know WHAT happened. I'm just not entirely sure what possessed me to think now was the time. However, I never knew what people meant when they kept saying "You'll know what to do when the time is right" I always thought that was a bunch of hooey. I didn't think it was at all possible to just know something without learning how to do it. Of course, I understand it now. When faced with the situation, just let your body do what it does naturally. When you start over thinking it is when it becomes boring and you run into problems of her not being wet, erectile dysfunction, and Premature Ejaculation Syndrome. So, basically, your body knows what it's doing. Just let instinct drive the experience. It makes it much more enjoyable. Though, most of all, listen to your partner. I don't mean what he/she says but their body language. Being able to read your partners' body language is crucial to having an enjoyable experience. That bit of advice goes for all people. Not just people who are new to physical intimacy.
Anyways, I digress. I placed my hand on her knee and leant into the kiss. As the kiss got more and more passionate I slid my hand up her thigh slowly. Very slowly. There were a couple times she stopped kissing me. When she did I stopped moving my hand and waited patiently. If she continued kissing me I kept moving my hand. If she didn't I'd stop. That's the rules I was playing by, and it seemed to be working! Being the excited immature little boy I was I was about ready to f*cking explode with anticipation. Though knowing that it was never good to rush such things I kept myself calm and focused on the kiss, not how dangerously close my hand was getting to her crotch.
Eventually, after what seemed like aeons, I felt the warmth of her against the palm of my hand. I could've had a heart attack right then and there. I was ready to melt into a pile of goo. I had absolutely no idea what to do now. So, I put pressure against her through her clothing. She made a light squeal and I panicked. I pulled my hand away quickly and apologised profusely.
Then, out of nowhere, she grabbed my head and basically forced me into a kiss. Knowing I was on the right path I continued with what I was doing.
A couple hours later she was stumbling out of the house talking in a raspy voice and walking funny. The feeling of pride in my chest was indescribable. I was genuinely proud of myself. So I ran to my cell phone and called up my best friend Steven. I literally started singing to him out of nowhere because I didn't have the proper words to describe how awesome I felt at that moment. To this day, many years later, he still teases me by singing the song back to me.
Of course, we aren't going to continue the story, for the sake of keeping it PG-13 but I'm sure you adults out there could imagine what happened. At any rate, the reason I decided to share this story is because I feel far too many young and impressionable boys get the wrong idea of what intimacy is by watching TV and pornography. So I figured I would share my experience and just how amazing it was. It may not have been the best sex I've ever had, but it's definitely a memory I look back on fondly to this very day.
Anywho,
Thanks for reading!
Cheers!
~Jarhead
What Girls & Guys Said
1 1Lol Well welcome back! And thanks for sharing this story. It sounds about as awkward as my first time. Haha! I think it's important for people to realize, especially young people, that real sex is not like it seems in porn. Your first time will not be perfect and it may be extremely awkward but that's part of the process and eventually it gets better. :)
Well spoken HoneyBee
my first time i had carpet burn on my knees for 2 weeks. difficult to explain to others when they asked questions lol