Sexual Relationships
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Firsts: They Don't Come Back...

Think about your first kiss. Maybe it was magical. Maybe fireworks went off and everyone cheered. On the other hand, maybe it was a on a dare or maybe you were playing spin the bottle and everyone teased you for kissing them. Whatever it was, it happened and that will forever be your first kiss. To be clear I'm not saying you will or do regret your first kiss. I'm only going to talk about my firsts and my experiences so people can hopefully not make the same mistakes I have.

Firsts: They Don't Come Back...

Your firsts, you can't go back and redo them. I've learned that the hard way. I wanted my first kiss so bad I was going crazy. People told me be patient, but I didn't listen to them. So here's how my first kiss went down.

My guy friend came over to hang out.

We went to the basement to "play" a game

Instead we went into the bedroom and made out.

So yeah that was that. I can't change what happened but I wish I could. My first kiss was not good for many reasons.

1. We both didn't know what we were doing.

2. It was rushed. It wasn't natural.

3. We weren't really attracted to each other.

4. We had to keep wondering if my mom would come and find us.

The list could probably go on, but I think you get the point.

On to my first real kiss. Well, that one was awkward. Not because we didn't know what we were doing, but because of where it was. I ended up getting my first real kiss in the front seat of the guy's car. I was sitting beside him in the drivers seat. So yeah it was kinda cramped.

When I look back on all of it, there's only one guy I really have wanted to kiss, but I haven't kissed him yet. My boyfriend. We haven't kissed yet but I want to so bad. To me he's everything. The 5 guys I've kissed weren't really what I wanted. I won't deny that 3 of them were good kissers, (well, one of them might've been but when I kissed him he was super drunk), but I still wanted it to be my boyfriend.

I have had my first

-kiss

-french kiss

-seen my first dick

-first oral sex

None of this you get back. None of it.

When you're young, you don't listen to people who tell you this. These past 6 months have shown me a lot though. I've realized that people older then me do know more and that I can be too stubborn. In the end it was my decision, but I had all the information to make a better one. Maybe it's just something kids have to go through, but it shouldn't be. I wish that I had someone there who could've told me to stop and shown me the future. Maybe I would've still gone through with it, but at least I would've known.

Basically what I'm saying is to think about the consequences of what you do. Sometimes they only effect you, but they are still consequences. If everyone you know tells you not to do something, its still up to you, but you should at least listen to them and not blow them off like I did.

The consequences of my first kiss, was that my best friend in the world was mad. I managed to patch things up with him, 2 months later. Those two months sucked because I missed him.

My first oral, well I'm still paying the price. One of my other friends found out and he's upset and disappointed in me.

I sincerely hope you can see my point. That magical moment you dream of can be yours, but you have to think ahead. As my best friend said "You have to think logically, not emotionally."

And he's always right..............

0 2

Most Helpful Girl

  • I really don't think firsts are any more special than seconds, thirds etc when you think about it. It's a cultural thing. And I don't understand why people make such a big deal out of firsts. Like you described, a lot of them might be rushed, you have no idea what you're doing, and therefore it's usually not very enjoyable which means that it's a let down. Personally I think that it sounds awful most of the time, which is why I don't understand why people value it so much. I don't value my first kiss because it was awkward and not very good. I do however value the kisses I get now from my boyfriend much more, because we actually know what we're doing and we're able to enjoy it.
    I don't think you should put so much emphasis on firsts, because you'll only get let down when it doesn't live up to your expectations. Instead, you should look forward to becoming better at whatever it is you're learning how to do, until you're actually able to do it well and enjoy it.
    Also, as a last point, I really don't understand why you would even be friends with these guys who get so upset with you for kissing someone or performing sexual acts. They don't sound like very good friends to me. In fact, they sound very immature and maybe even a bit jealous. I would not be friends with someone who threw temper tantrums just because I kissed someone. That's insanely childish and quite frankly, none of their business.

    • My best friend, the one who's usually right doesn't actually care about the sexual things I do he just doesn't want me to rush into something or get hurt. And tbh I should've been more careful because I was almost raped by one of the guys I did oral with. I could tell he thought about it. As for the other one, he really wants me as his girlfriend but he lives in another country

    • And tbh I agree some firsts aren't that special. Literally the first guy to kiss me shoved his tongue in my mouth and called it kissing. I remember thinking "if this is kissing I ain't missing much". My second kiss however, that was good. Oh so good. I would love to replay that night.

    • He doesn't want you to get hurt... But then goes on to hurt you himself by acting mad and disappointed in you? If you were almost raped, he should be there for you as a friend and support you, talk to you and listen to you. He shouldn't turn his back on you and act as if it was his personal loss and that you offended him, when clearly YOU'RE the one in need of support and a good friend. So sorry, but I don't buy his bullshit. As for the second friend, if he can't put his feelings for you aside and be there for you as a friend too, then he shouldn't be talking to you in the first place. He should either accept that you can't reciprocate and learn how to be happy for you, or move on and stop pretending to be your friend. Because friends don't behave like that.

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What Girls & Guys Said

11 7

  • You know, what you say is definitely true and the thing most unfortunate about it is that you're not able to recreate those moments again. Like I remember being in college and talking to this girl I was dating about an early hookup that we had together and she was going on about how it was sooooo great. We didn't have sex that night but we both really, really wanted to but she held herself back because we hadn't gone out many times and she didn't want to seem slutty.

    Anyway, we discussed the mechanics of the whole thing and sort of came to the conclusion that it was so intense because we were holding ourselves back. So we decided to try to recreate it -- to just make out and grope for at least 1.5 hours, teasing each other but not having sex until the last possible moment. Well, it didn't work when we got around to trying it. We weren't that long into the experiment where she got up annoyed and said "Are you going to fuck me or not? I don't even want sex anymore." You see, it was too late -- even though it wasn't that long ago, we were no longer that new couple that hadn't had sex with each other yet and it wasn't possible for us to pretend like we were without just frustrating each other.

    It makes me wonder -- are there people who can do the 2-3 hour foreplay sessions that you used to do as a teenager because the girl absolutely was not going to have sex with you?

    • I think the foreplay depends on the person. I'm glad you think it's true. Those moments you can't get back. There are so many things I would do differently but I can't

    • i dot understand. what was it you guys were trying to recreate? you had not had sex yet. and i dont get why she got upset, that was weird.

    • @AriadneSky Oh, we were basically trying to recreate the sexual tension of... of basically virgin sex. So like, the artificial tension that two people get when they want to have sex with each other but hold themselves back because they feel it's too early in the relationship or what not. You know, like you're hooking up with a guy and you really want to have sex with him but you hold firm and say no. Basically, you two get more and more worked up as the hookup proceeds. The thing is, that situation is not easy to recreate in a relationship because you two are already having sex and that mental wall of "I shouldn't have sex with him" just doesn't exist anymore. I don't know if I was articulate enough to explain that.

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  • My opinion on firsts:

    They mean fuck all and they WILL be forgotten.

  • This is just plain stupid. I would never regret any of my firsts because they were all my choice and those choices make me who I am today. Yeah sure you could wait for your story book moment for everything but honestly you might end up waiting forever, besides, your own story is what you make of it. Sure having my first kiss on a rooftop car park of my local shopping centre isn't the most romantic experience my mind could conjure but it is MY experience and mine alone. No one has ever felt exactly what I felt in that moment and that's what makes it special. Just another part of my life. If I could take it back I wouldn't because that wouldn't be my life and it wouldn't have brought me where I am today. Anyone who thinks differently about their own life should really better weigh the choices in their life in the future and do what makes them happy rather than what they think is expected.

  • I agree. But nothing will ever be perfect. Especially firsts. If it's your fist time doing something you will be nervous and unsure of what to do, regardless of how perfect the situation may seem. The best thing you can do is mentally prepare yourself so at least you feel somewhat confident in the situation.

  • How old are you lol? 14? Jesus so dramatic.

  • I think you should be proud of your experiences. I had all my firsts really young, I don't regret a thing. You'll only suffer consequences if you believe what you've done was bad (or you weren't safe). I had my first kiss when I was 12, my first oral at 13, followed by sex a few months later Just before i turned 14. A lot of people frown down on that, but I'm ok with it, I know I was safe, I knew the emotional repercussions. You do you. Don't wait for things to happen, go out there and do what you want.

  • just out of anger, i wanted to give my first kiss to someone i feel completely nothing for but luckily i gave up in the last moment

  • sorry to say but this question is bullshit

    • This isn't a question

    • there isn't a first, second third etc. all that counts is the experience of the moment, the past is history

  • I wish I could take it all back

  • I hope my first kiss is good :o

  • Being first to comment a YouTube video is the most important thing in the world or so I'm told.

    • Okay maybe that

  • I am a guy who never had even a kiss and I would do anything to have my first kiss. I'd be ready to do it with just about any girl. Cause there is nothing "magical" about kissing or sex, and especially since I am already late for both, the only thing I regret is not being able to do it at a normal time, when everybody else did. So what you wrote applies to those who believe in love and similar bullshit and other delusional people. Most of us don't give a fuck

    • Why haven't you had your first kiss?

    • I can't. No girl was ever interested in me.

    • I doubt that's true

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  • People place too big of an importance on "first things". I dont remember my first kiss and can't remember with who it was. and homestly dont care, there have been kisses more msgical after that.

  • They don't. And why would you want them back? First kiss is usually awkward, first sex is always bad. Its not a big deal, and its not something special

  • I've had everything from a kiss to sex. And maybe a little more. I thought I would feel different but I honestly don't. It sounds like you are having some regrets or emotional problems right now because of what you have done so far.

    I hate how media portrays sex and relationships. Doing all that doesn't really matter. It's just natural urges that people are fulfilling (unless you didn't want it, that's another thing).

    My first kiss was bleh. I kissed like 5 other people. Meeh. I had sex a couple times with someone. Yikes I didn't know they came that small. I kissed my boyfriend. Fireworks. We had sex the first time... Heaven. Your first doesn't matter. It's who you do it with.

  • indeed kids DONT have to go through that prematurily. and smart kids dont in my opinion. and those with values from their family. i kept all my firsts for my husband and i dont regret doing so.

  • After having my first kiss, losing my virginity, etc at 21, I noticed that nothing changes. Everything is an experience but I didn't "feel like a man" as a lot of people would lead you to believe.

  • wish i didn't have my first kiss

    • Tbh me too. My friend ended up hating me

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