Why Sex Can Be Complicated

I <3 sex. I love being intimate. But still...there are things people don't mention often about sex. They're awkward, but I just wish I hadn't had to find out the hard way. It wasn't totally the hard way, since I did ask and got lots of advice from people, but still I used to think sex was simple and easy lol

Why Sex Can Be Complicated

1. Lube

I need it because of BC. Or if sex is too long. It's OK. It can work really well. But applying it can be awkward. You can also make things too slippery.

2. Ending too fast

It's natural. It just happens sometimes and he cums way too fast. Or, he could be one of those guys who just don't care. But for the girl, this sucks.

3. Guys being jelly of or worried about 3somes

I was surprised. I was talking to some guys about it, and they told me that the biggest worry a guy has if she had threesomes before, is that he'll never be able to please her in bed, since he's solo. I think worrying about this is silly, but it's amazing guys think this. I would never have thought that.

4. Pregnancy

Of course! But who talks about this? When I get an odd symptom or think the condom could have slipped, or wonder if I forgot to take my pill, this thought flashes through my mind. Guys don't have to think about the physical consequences of this, so that makes me feel jealous honestly. Like especially when I was younger, I'd panic about sperm, and alll the ways I could accidentally get preggo before I learned more.

I am pro choice, but that doesn't mean I'd be happy about having an abortion or getting pregnant in the first place. It has made me wonder what it feels like, knowing you could make her preggo. Like he might panic just as much, but I mean knowing what it feels like to affect someone's bod that way...?

5. How sex is defined

Lots of people still say sex only counts when it's just intercourse. Or some say it only counts when his dick goes in an orifice. I feel like it's sex, when you're sexual with another person. They're your sexual partner, so why not count it as sex no matter what you do?

With intercourse, I do still feel like we still reached another step. Like there's something biological about it. You know you can get pregnant, and that risk...Or it's supposed to be really romantic, and sex just has this edge to it anyway. It can even feel like a need. So even though I wish the standard definition was different, I understand why people feel that way.

2 3

Most Helpful Girl

  • No. 2:

    Girl... I've written this on one of yr questions before, but, you need to make HIM get YOU off **FIRST**. You shouldn't even TOUCH the dick before that happens. If he's not 100% down, then, show the useless little shit the door.

    If you're in an actual *relationship* AND the boy has shown a good solid pattern of getting you off first, THEN it's ok to **occasionally** let him have his fun before you have yours. But only occasionally, and only once the boy has thoroughly earned it.

    I don't mean to be a bitch here, but, if yr point no. 2 happens, then, you kinda brought that on yrself.
    Ladies first, yo.

    __

    No. 3:

    Anything that keeps the boy *working* to get you off -- and constantly trying to step up his fuck game -- is certainly NOT a bad thing! Tf 😂

    ... I mean, if this sort of thing would stop a boy from getting with you altogether, then, ok, that kinda sucks... except it really doesn't, because who would want a boy who's *that* much of a sissy, omg.

    __

    No. 5:

    Who gives a shit?

    No, really... that's a real question. Why would anyone possibly care about this?
    I'm trying to imagine a situation where this would matter to anyone, and... I can't come up with one. Help me out pls tx.

    • I like cumming after sex better. I had an idea where he can just rub my clit after sex or I do it while he holds me and helps. It's basically masturbating, so that's the one thing that's nvr failed to get me off! Foreplay can be epic, but not perfect, and it can be pressure to cum from it.

    • ... if he'll still give you the kind of attention you deserve after he gets off

    • If he wouldn't help me after, would he really put in so much effort b4? It's not totally easy to do oral or fingering in the right ways, and it could take me a while to cum... with this, he could literally just hold me and rub on me while I do the work. I know some guys hate touch after cumming, but if he wants to fuck then that's what he has to do. Plus, it sounds mean but if he says he will and then he lies to me, I will try my best to tell everyone. If it was a hookup, then I might ask him to rub me off b4 sex, yeah. I don't think even hookup guys would not do something so easy after sex though.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • Naw, you're just making it complicated.
    1. I've never heard of anybody that doesn't use lube. Spit works, but lube is so much better. Most women do get wet over prolonged foreplay, but regular sex partners are generally read for the pushing before all of that.
    2. If he's trigger happy he needs to slow down or stop - you two need to be able to communicate.
    3. threesomes never work. Somebody is always gonna get their feelings hurt. Or the short end of the stick. LOL. Just not what you think it is.
    4. Pregnancy only happens if you're not practicing BC. Sure, it's not 100%, but nothing in life is. The best thing that ever happened to me was a vasectomy. :)
    5. Yes, people get all hung up on it. And yes, all touching is sex. And yes it's important, not something you should just be flippant about.

    • I think your meaning of BC and her meaning of BC is totally different...

    • *are

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 7
  • That's why masturbation is king lol

  • What is this thing about when does it "count" as sex? "Count" according to who? For what purpose?

    In my mind, any behavior that could or does lead to sexual arousal is sex. Oral sex is sex. Anal sex is sex. A hand job is sex. If you're not sure. . . if it's something that usually involves at least one person removing some clothing and it's something you wouldn't want your momma or daddy to see. . . it's probably sex!

  • There's a reason oral sex is called "oral SEX"... All these people saying that a having received a bj doesn't count as sex...

  • If we count all sexual touching as sex then by god, i'm a whore lol! But yeah sex makes things complicated, some girls don't like guys that are too horny, some love it. The last girl I dated didn't sleep with me, she was all about partying til 7am 24/7 365 but since I wasn't she got all weird about being with me and that made the 6 months hard. I got frustrated and as soon as it ended I went all kinds of wild lol

  • 1. What?
    2. ROUND TWO :D ♥ !!!
    3. 3some is not my thing.
    4. That is as much of an issue to me as it is to women. I don't want children ever and I would always practice safe sex from my side with Condoms! Responsibility!
    5. Sex is sex if you have any act of sex. Is there something unclear about it?

  • In the future sex will be determined by eugenics, so this is only a temporary problem until the robots take over.

  • Lube feels weird... not a big fan.

  • I eat ass

    • We all know that.

    • @Bleepasaurus_RexEwww Who is it?

    • Who's ass did you eat? I don't know how am I supposed to know.

    • Show All
  • then i will be virgin forever

  • I'm so glad that after 30 my testosterone levels have dropped and no longer feel interested in sex. Been so tired of putting up with the opposite genders crap

  • It gets complicated. You don't really mention the after effects of two people having sex. See, some people are really emotional about it and others are completely non emotional , just in for the physical act and just see it as a "recreational" activity. This disconnect between people creates a problem and makes people fear getting hurt. I don't know why, but for whatever reason some people tend to stop speaking to the other person after they have sex for the first time. And if your trying to get into a relationship, sex can either further advance your relationship or can complicate it and doom it, depending on the timing. I know I lose attraction for a girl who wants to have sex too early on. I can't explain why, I just end up feeling that way. So, it affects a lot of things.

  • 1. I don't think I've ever actually had to use lube in my life lmao. Even with anal sex. Spit did the trick and a good messy blow job beforehand.
    2. I don't mind how quickly he cums as long as he satisfies me before/afterwards. Foreplay and a good build up/tease is what makes sex so enjoyable for me.
    3. Girls and boys are both funny about 3somes. Someone is always going to get jealous or feel left out. I personally wouldn't be able to deal with someone else touching my guy. I'd get way too jealous.. But a 3some with no feelings involved sounds like fun haha
    4. I'm pretty sure it's scary as f*ck for both? Guys don't really have to think about it as much I guess. Like maybe at the time and if you bring it up.. but we're the ones who are going paranoid AF if "my period is a day late" or we get anything that could possibly look like a symptom. Sometimes even just randomly I'd get worried about it. While guys don't seem to have it one their minds as much.
    5. The first time you do everything it is like steps in your relationship. I don't think I've ever just gone straight to sex without doing other stuff first. But I think after that it's all just sexual acts. They all kind of go together?