Why Women Have a Double Standard When it Comes to Having Sex

Women are looked at as pure and innocent in our society so there's more pressure on them to act that way whether most naturally are like that not. Virginity and purity are social constructs and other times were rooted in religion.

This double standard issue, we've been doing this for awhile just less severely as time went on. See if you can find a pattern here.

Why women have a double standard when it comes to having sex

In America it used to be women who were seen in a bar were automatically arrested for prostitution while the guys wouldn't get in trouble. Some time later girls were allowed in bars.

Also since premarital sex was illegal, if a girl got pregnant before marriage she was arrested while the guy got off with nothing. Eventually girls weren't arrested for having premarital sex.

Fast forward closer to our time and there is a period where girls were arrested for wearing shorts that showed skin a few inches up from the knee. Girls that wore shorts were seen as slutty and rebellious. Eventually it became normal.

In hindsight we realize that was unfair treatment with not a lot of logic.

Why Women Have a Double Standard When it Comes to Having Sex

Now back to our time...

men who have sex with a lot of girls or who hook with them quickly are seen as making an accomplishment, which it is because he has obstacles to overcome, you actually have to work to convince a girl to have sex. It isn't looked at as morally wrong.

When a girl hooks up with a lot of guys or just hooks up quickly isn't seen as an accomplishment, which it isn't because she didn't have to overcome any obstacles to have sex with the men. However it IS seen as morally wrong while a guy having a lot of sex isn't.

Why Women Have a Double Standard When it Comes to Having Sex

There's no logic behind it. If she isn't ruining other people's relationships or manipulating people she's not doing anything wrong. It's no different then when a guy does it except it's not an accomplishment. That's the only difference.

What we did to women with arresting them for going to a bar, having premarital sex, and wearing shorts, we know now it was wrong. Here's the kicker, we're doing it again, this time with slut shaming. It's the same thing except it's our times version of it.

This only applies to the people who don't think it's okay when a guy has a lot of partners but not when a girl does it. When I ask them to logically explain why it's wrong for a girl to do it but it's somehow okay for a guy to, they can't explain it.

This is take is the only logical explaination for this.

People who think it's wrong for both sexes to sleep around this take isn't about you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • But we shame guys for being virgins while praising girls who are virgins. That's why the double standard you're talking about happens (which isn't really that common as the Internet makes it up to be).
    You can't fix one double standard while ignoring the other, because they both go hand in hand.
    The reason guys are seen as studs because they sleep around is because they're seen as losers if they are virgins, so they're forced to either sleep around or lie in order to not be shamed.
    The reason girls are seen as hoes when they sleep around is because they're seen as goody goodies when they're virgins, so they're forced to remain virgin or lie in order to not be shamed.

    Talk about both problems and we can find a solution. Focus on one and you will never fix it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think anyone sees it as wrong these days. Many people date and fuck multiple people at the same time, until they're exclusive with someone. That's what's expected now.

    And even if she didn't overcome anything, so? Not her fault guys might have to work for it lol

    • not when it's relentless

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • > insert obligatory statement about locks opening to any key, and key opening any lock.

    Personally i see nothing wrong with sleeping around as long as you're honest about your intentions and does it safely without hurting anyone (just don't sleep around, and then demand your partner to be virgn). BUT it's not how I want to live my life. So why this conflict of interrest? Because i'm fine with people living the life they want as long as they're honest about it and doesn't hurt anyone else with their life.

    There are many logical explanation behind it, but they all fundamentally anchor in social expectations and behavior, as well as philosophical ideas of gender rolles. Which by extent means they're fluid and can be torn down (in this case, at the cost of giving up the impession of being the "innocent" and "chaste" sex, and setting your seual value in line with a guy). So i agree, there's no reason why we can't make the sexes equal in that regard.

  • I think within reason a girl OR guy should have as many sexual partners as they want. This is something i'd contemplated since i found out how females just hold sex hostage just to get other things. Years later on, i figured out why when a guy has sex with multiple women its an accomplishment but when she has sex with multiple partners... she is shamed. (you will get no better explanation than this)

    You are friends with two people right? both of them are worth $50 million.
    One of them worked hard for 35 years and Earned his $50m, the other one was a trust fund kid who inherited it from parents who owned a huge conglomerate.
    Who would you have more respect for? the one who earned it or the kid?

    To translate that over, like i said, females are a key half for sex to happen but they hold on to it sooo tight in order to get other things first, making up "rules" like 8 dates first, or 3 months before sex... blah blah blah... etc. So if a guy can plow through all that BS and be able to sleep with multiple women, FUCK what anyone says, its a fucking accomplishment. because we all know it takes hella work just to get one in bed, even after they throw themselves at you.

    The reason why women are slutshamed (not a term im a big fan of) is because again, they can go out there and get ANY guy they want but DECIDE to hold off. It takes little to no work to get a guy into bed. (and im talking about average to good looking girls here, "ugly" girls have it almost as bad as guys)

    Im not happy that girls that are sexually free are scorned, because it makes them tighten up on having sex, even worse, have you noticed that when people can't have, they tend to insult those who can or who have? Try to shame the girls that can just because they themselves can't get any?
    Talking about "im waiting for the one" or "im waiting for marriage"... when the real truth is that the guys they want, refuse to stick they dick in that... and now they are mad. If they can't get those guys, no one can, so they shame everyone else.

    Honestly, if ALL women became promiscuous and stopped holding sex as a hostage, a guy having sex with multiple women won't mean shit anymore and will kill this double standard. (possibly also eliminate rape).
    But since this will never happen, women will always be called names for being promiscuous while the guys will remain exalted for being the same.

    • Your explaination didn't say why it's "morally wrong" , just why it's not an accomplishment (which I mentioned in my take). And I've seen sluts get mad at other sluts for being sluts

    • To Clairify I got that you're not a fan of slut shaming

    • If they got mad at other "sluts"... then they aren't "sluts" then because they aren't getting any. I didn't explain why its morally wrong? its morally wrong to call names... period. But it still happens. I was just explaining why when its done on one side, its called slut shaming and when its done on the other side, its slut praising.

  • Its also wrong for guys to have lots of sex partners. I've never respected a guy who sleeps around and a guy who does it by lying is even worse.

  • in my opinion, if I'm not going to bone you, I don't care if you're a virgin or sleep around. Doesn't effect me whatsoever, again, that's if I'm not planning on fucking you.
    I don't get the point of virgin or slut shaming. How does the contents of their genitals affect you?

    • Everything one does can have a profound effect on others and leave a lasting impression on yourself.

    • @Sabretooth how does their sexual history directly affect me?

    • it depends on who's history... like say... your mother, for example. let's your slept with your teacher... word gets out fast-next thing you know-people are saying: did you hear that her mother slept with mr_, here mother is a such a slut, i wonder if i can get a mother and daughter tag team- how do you think would you feel?

    • Show All
  • I think it's okay for both sexes to do whatever makes them happy, as long as they don't hurt others or themselves and are careful about health and emotions and such. It's not something to be defined by a number.

  • Anyone can lie about the numbers. This is where fellacy kicks in.

    • Aye, and the hypocrisy too.

    • @Chief16 Hugh Hefner was right, we should stop counting.

    • I slept with zero person. Zero is an easy number to keep in mind, isn't it? I don't forget the number zero.

    • Show All
  • There's pressure on women to act virginal for several reasons.

    1. A decent portion of men are incredibly obsessed with the idea that they really don't want to go where other men have gone before in that regard. They are completely okay with a girl having no idea what she's doing sexually to either match his own inexperience or simply because it means the guy can shape her into what he wants in the bedroom.

    2. 'Sluts' are bad business for other women. They won't be able to get as many men to commit to a relationship with them if other women are out there giving away no strings attached sex. The whole "why buy the cow if they can get the milk for free' dealie.

    3. The absurdity of religion.

    Men who have sex with lots of girls are attractive men. It's not the actual having sex with lots of women that is the accomplishment. It's the fact that they can do it at all indicating that they are the top whatever percentage of "alpha" men, generally good looking with nice bodies, has money, etc. Their numbers of partners is just an easy confirmation of how attractive they are.

    There is also the fact that from an evolutionary standpoint, men have never been into the whole monogamy thing as much as people wish they would be. Multiple wives, concubines, mistresses, etc. have always been a thing in history. If a guy can get laid regularly with all types of women, most will do so. Variety is the spice of life.

    A girl hooking up with a guy isn't seen as an accomplishment because, in general, men are much, much larger sluts than virtually any girl could ever dream of being.

    Then there's the whole women actually preferring men with sexual experience. You see, as others have mentioned, women may get slut shamed, but men get virgin shamed. Calling a man a fat neckbeard that can't get laid or whatever is one of the quickest go-to insults on the internet today. Society in general mocks and rejects the adult male virgin.

    So while I agree with you that women shouldn't get slut shamed, men shouldn't get virgin shamed. In an ideal world, people wouldn't attribute another person's worth based on how much they've mashed their genitals together with another human being, but this is the world we live in. It's the world we've always lived in.

    The funny part is as we drift further away from hardcore conservative and religious ideals, slut shaming is going to fade away more and more.

    Men that can't get laid regularly will never have any real value in society's eyes.

  • I fully agree there is and has been a double standard and some insecure guys (and girls) continue to slut shame and judge another persons private sex life for no reason than to feel better about their own rules of ice and love.
    But "This take is the only logical explanation for this" I Must have missed your explanation.

    • He did explain it, religion royally fucked shit up, and we have been recovering since.

  • I don't look down upon those women; I just think they're misguided. As women, we have an opportunity to make a lot of profit off of our sexuality. Many men will do all sorts of things to get sex, if they have to. Women who spread their legs easily, are missing out on that opportunity.

    • i was thinking the same thing, but make this work for me

  • It's an accomplishment, but that doesn't mean it's a good one. McVeigh had a lot of obstacles to overcome to blow up that building. That didn't make it right.

    Also, men back then had to deal with ridiculous legal statutes too. If a man peers too long inside a woman's window while she's undressing - even if she's clearly intending to put on a show - he's a Peeping Tom. He's treated as a rapist, a dangerous pervert, and worse. By default. If the roles are reversed, and he puts on a show in the window for a woman who peeps at him, then she gets off the hook and he's taken in for exhibitionism.

    And it isn't just sexual standards that sometimes go to illogical lengths to protect from logical moral concerns. It used to be that every guy had to look like a crooner just about, or else no employer would touch him. Nowadays, they find more inventive ways to discriminate in the workforce.

  • As you said it's deeply rooted in religion. And it's also deeply rooted in the societal constructs of gender. Guys are expected to be dominant, intimidating, strong, loud, emotionally distant, sexually aggressive, aggressive and rough in nature, basically stereotypically masculine. Whereas for girls are expected to be dainty. docile, passive, obedient, prudent, innocent but sexy, housewife material, quiet, sexually submissive and inactive.

    If either step out of these preconstructed ideas, people will call a guy weak, effeminate, not a real man, girly, or gay, With a girl they call her a bitch, a sult, or a dike.

    I mean people views on gender are changing but we still have a long way to go before people truly stop caring what a man or woman should act and present themselves.

  • Marriage and birth rates are at all time lows and 85% of the US prison population are the products of single mother upbringings.

    Oh, and by the way snowflake? Trump IS your president.

  • I think men are looked down upon just as much as women, but it's not by other men it's by women.
    It's also never said to their face, which is why it may not be so obvious to guys. For the most part a girl won't call a guy a slut out loud to embarrass him like a guy would to a girl. She'll just tell her friends and word will spread...

    At least with my friends, a guy who sleeps around is seen as player but not in a good way. Player basically means, that guy seems charming but he's only after one thing so it's best to be careful around him. Don't date him, it's a bad idea you'll just get hurt.

  • Meh, doesn't bother me if either gender sleeps around.

    • what's up, bro?

    • @Vivaldi huh?

  • Oh god, your so missinformed , where are you getting any of this info from, dont go spouting a one sided opinion when back when men could beat their wives theyd get extremely punished but the community, and if they got beaten by their wives the communicty would rial around that house beating pots and pans in the mid of the night, and not to mention that the president at the time was bring back corpral punishment, and that wasn't for women it was for men.

    • This was taught in my college's American History course and the professor has been studying this her whole life. What is your background in the subject to say she doesn't know what she's talking about? If your not on her level or anywhere close then your no more qualified to tell me I'm wrong then a 8 year old is to teach you how to do your taxes. If you do have a background in the subject and disagree with what I said, then let's have a discussion about it, I'm open to listen.

  • Guys are not complimented for having lots of sex in general.
    Rather there are terms like player, fuckboy, pervert, cheater etc. specifically to punch against male promiscuity.

  • Totally true, I feel so bad. Seeing how far technologically advanced we are, you'd think we'd come far enough not to judge or force a repressed sexuality. It kind of fucks with society as a whole and causes problems deeply rooted in the human psyche that we probably don't even know.

    But then again, science will always move faster than social change. It is changing slowly though, so I guess we can be thankful for that. One of the best takes I've read by a dude here, great job.

  • yeah you just have to accept one hard fact humans are nasty unintelligent creatures who can't seem to see right from wrong the things that really matter in life not the petty little things like how they choose to live their life and what they wear but its not double standards with women its double standards with humanity in general

    • But since the only standards that matter to me are mine, that doesn't matter.

  • Look at it through a biological perspective

    • Can you explain?

  • For majority of people that still believe in marriage and having a family, the number of sexual partners the woman has determines the stability of the marriage. Women do in fact initiate 70% of divorces. By contrast, a man's sexual history has no effect on his marital happiness.

    The science behind this is when women have sex, they release a hormone called oxytocin also known as the 'cuddle hormone'. Oxytocin causes women to pair bond with their mate, stimulates the pleasure area of the brain, and increases their empathy. Love so to speak. Every new sexual partner a woman has, her oxytocin level diminishes. Also, her ability to pair bond. That's why married women with a lot of sexual partners have the tendency to cheat, 9x more likely to divorce men, and eventually end up jaded with sex. They will recall the love they had with their first or second partner and want to "rekindle" the passion in their youth by cheating.

    However when men have an orgasm, the hormone dopamine is released which gives men a quick rush of pleasure and dissipates in minutes like an addictive drug. Generally, men can have sex with multiple partners and have very little feelings for her as long as he's getting laid. Whereas, women want the feelings that comes with sex. My theory is that married-minded men want to date and marry women they can pair bond with ( a low partner count ). Men know "You can't make a ho a housewife".

    • okay stop right there. You know that both of those hormones are released in BOTH sexes, right? And Oxycontin can be replenished? You can't "run out" of it. Your whole paragraph is horrendously inaccurate.

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