Pornography in Relationships…

In a way it is something that must not be, especially if you are physical with your partner.

Some people don’t mind if their partner watch porn, but the question is: What happens when porn starts to diminish relationship commitment? And in some cases men / women swap out the person who’s actually lying in bed with him / her for some fantasy person they’ve never met (and probably never will).

And I think that watching porn kind of gives you an “ idea ” about how sex is supposed to be in the bedroom, and some people expect that from their partners and in some cases gets disappointed when they can’t live up to the standards….that is also where cheating comes in…they go look for that satisfaction.

For some women / men that are insecure about themselves pornography in a relationship can be their downfall. Cause, that seeing physically attractive and sexually available partners on screen may heighten a person’s perceptions of his / her own possible partner. And how can you satisfy someone like that when you can’t even be content with yourself?

Pornography in Relationships…

A lot of people will disagree, because porn spice up their relationships...and doesn't interfere with their intimacy. But the question is: " Who is really on your partner's mind? Is it you or the woman / man in the video? Are you giving the satisfaction or them?"

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think porn is detrimental to people individually and to our entire society. I think the risks and negative aspects outweigh the positive ones. A relationship that revolves around sexual escalation and not love is headed in the wrong direction.

    • Agree.

    • .. That last sentence got me

    • @Grace_Rdz This is powerful: A relationship that revolves around sexual escalation and not loves is headed in the wrong direction.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • In a relationship or not, you have to be fucked up in the head to watch it. Its perverted, twisted and a distortion of sex. You're watching people f other people. That is fucked up. There's something mentally wrong with you.

    • Its gay as fuck too.

    • I feel you*

    • Yeah I don't get it at all. But I guess voyeurism is a pretty popular fetish and that is all it is really.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • My marriage IS pornographic. #fuckyeah

    • Very lucky you. :-)

    • @Red_Arrow indeed

    • I don't suppose I can find a copy at the local porn mag shop? :-)

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  • I totally agree with your point about porn diminishing the commitment. I think that's when porn becomes destructive. It's no longer seen for what it is, and now is becoming an obsession for the person.

    Not everyone treats porn this way. But if it starts becoming less of a choice, and more of a compulsion, then there is a problem. Especially if the person is replacing their time with their SO for porn. That to me is problematic.

  • The first thing many people should do is to educate themselves about Pornography industry. It's design, creation, law and production. The global society is full of unreasonable misconceptions.
    Porn industry is an opportunity. The most secure, safe and private environment to explore sexuality and observe nudity. Porn is entertainment, education, fantasy, exploration and observation, experimental and visual pleasure.

    Any negative impact coming from porn is people's fault themselves not porn industry. (It is like if someone spend 12 hours a day on a phone playing online games, is it the phone company's fault or the game developers? No. It's the individual's fault who decided to use the content wrongly)

    It is entertainment: Because if you have high fantasies. If you are connected to your sexuality, if you are a dirty minded person, this is one of the safest sexual hobbies in the world. And it is a privilege.
    It is educational: Because it gives you this opportunity to observe thousand of body types, colors, genital shapes and looks, sexual positions, sexual fantasies, devices and tools, it helps to improve your sexual mind and be able to put yourself more out of the box than a robotic sexual life. (Some people might argue about misconceptions, porn doesn't give you any bad message, if you look at it and understand a wrong lesson, it is your fault, learn about the industry, it's laws and standards to not find an issue) for instance, watching porn and thinking all men must have big penis, is like watching a Hollywood comic and believe that all humans should fly over the air like superman. Or watching porn, thinking all women must enjoy facial, is like watching a Hollywood movie and thinking you can jump at each other like a sex movie scene without providing any protection.

    It is a fantasy: Because one of the main reasons of porn is to cross pass the limit of a robotic boring sex. It is about picturing what you don't get in your daily life.

    Me and my girlfriend watch porn.
    My girl is in my mind. She's my life and i love her to death. What this has anything to do with porn? what happened to professionalism? people in the movies are professional respectful actors and actresses. Nothing more than that.

  • Porn makes you idealize about others. Nice myTake!

  • Watching porn together and enjoying it and copying the sex scenes is fine if done together. Watching to much porn solo causes to many problems and issues in relationships especially if the partner knows the other partner is watching it alone and enjoying it alone.

    • See i feel differently. I don't mind if my partner does it on his own time. Sometimes i watch it if I'm bored, but I'm talking like once a year or so. But i think i would feel really uncomfortable if he watched it with me. I've always wanted to play a game where we copy what's on screen, but i know I'll feel like he's more into the porn star than me, get it? I dunno. I think I'd probably cry hahahaha

    • @MaxxiBonn yes I understand and you bring up another good point. That is good your open minded and don't care if he watches it alone. I see how watching it with him can feel weird. Lol we don't want you to cry. We want you to be happy.😃

  • I told my boyfriend when we started dating that he could keep watching porn if he wanted but I wouldn't be his girlfriend. He cut that shit out of his life real quick. Now he thanks me all the time for making him a better man and educating him on how awful and determental that industry is to the woman in it.

    • You said your female family members worked in the industry. I always knew that line of work couldnt possibly be healthy for females (and probably not for men either), i had heard a lot of girls who get into it were sexually abused at some point. But its still very hard for men not to watch porn. But if you do, you are feeding the industry. I have kinda cut down to only watching amateur porn for now. Seems not that bad. So, are actresses treated very bad in the industry?

    • @lord_chilled oh they are treated terribly! Not to their faces but they are taken advantage of and used until they are dry, dead, or no longer able to perform and once that happens their kicked to the curb. Also let's not forget about the extremely young immature girls who are way to trusting and think they are going to become stars. They do a few videos and then no one will work w them anymore. :/ so sad and evil.

    • Yeah. I wonder what attracts young girls to porn anyway. Maybe no one was there to warn them about negative effects of that line of work. I guess it would be whole lot better if the industry crashed and disappeared for good. But i guess it won't happen as long as the internet exists. Just like prostitution won't go away

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  • I just don't understand why people choose porn and maturation over sex with their partner... I men if that's the case then maybe you'd be better off single and you can watch your porn and jerk off to your hearts content.

    • Exactly

    • And I do agree with you

  • I was gonna totally disagree, until i read it only seems to affect insecure people...
    Im the most overconfident schmuck i know of... and i worked in porn too... porn doesn't affect Jack for me...
    N my girl likes the little porn background because i know things she didn't even know about herself... almost every "session" she taps out cuz "it" is too much lol... well at least she Tries to tap out... like ima let that happen :)

  • In my experience, most REASONABLE people are perfectly able to differentiate between porn and reality. My boyfriend used to watch a fair bit of porn, and he flat out told me that he understood that the women in those videos weren't realistic, and that it didn't change his attraction towards real women. For most people it's just a visual stimuli to assist in masterbation.

    There are some loonies who let porn dilute their brains, but that has more to do with the person, not necessarily porn itself. I think this whole idea that dudes and gals who watch porn for the visual stimulation immediately find that individual more attractive than their partner - but I find this to rarely be the case. Often this is just a figment of the other person's insecurity manifesting itself.

    All in all I see no issue with porn as long as you have a reasonable partner, you're not sensitive, and you don't allow it to negatively impact your relationship.

    • Well said as always m'dear

  • Well porn might tear apart relationships a lot of porn is though done by people in some form of a relationship. Or friendship. I really can see both sides. How someone who doesn't understand may see porn as lack of trust. Except it could also just be that the other half is just trying to get a different idea of what to do in bed. xD. I mean sex period comes with a double edge. There isn't really a middle ground when it comes to sex ether you know what your doing or you flat out have no clue beyond what is a male sex organ and maybe what a female is. And that one is suppose to enter the other in order to make babies. As well to use condoms.

    As its kinda funny to think about but almost everyone gets choked up when it comes to explaining a vagina. As its got so many social cues as to not talk about it that it just makes it weird. Outside of using the derogatory verson of it as a put down.

    • How is there "no middle ground"? Huh? That statement makes no sense at all. For most people in healthy sexual relationships, the process of discovery -- and "improvement" -- is lifelong.

    • @redeyemindtricks I'm saying there is a middle ground but it rare.

    • As most of the time one party or the other is far too attached and it just gets awkward thus the reason most couples avoid porn period. Other than the few that are open enough to just accept that it happens and that their partner is still the only one.

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  • I don't care if he watches porn, as long as she doesn't look so radically different from me. Otherwise, I'll feel like he's not attracted to me

  • Tbh, it's ridiculously hard for guys to think about another girls while having sex.

    The only damage porn does is
    ● Wasting your time
    ● ED
    ● Intensifying the expectations overwhelmingly.

    • I can attest to the ED. I quit porn a couple months ago and I'm just now getting my boners back.

    • @Teenagekid16 well done, fella :)

  • I've never once imagined any partner as someone else, but from what I've gathered for some people that's not unusual to.

    The problem sounds like insecurity, not porn. Even if he never watched porn a day in his life, he could still imagine being with someone else.

    If someone is with you that's all you need to know. If they are leaving you unsatisfied, not cuddling enough, or there is some other problem you need to better direct, or discuss it with them.

  • My previous boyfriend and I used to watch porn together, i wouldn't really mind if he watched it without me cause Ii watched it without him sometimes. I think it brought us closer together plus we got different ideas of what might turn us on. Not gonna lie though, the first time i caught him watching porn i was upset because i thought i wasn't enough for him. Its not like he forgot about me after watching porn though, we definetly had a pretty good sex life. And i know i was on his mind because of how he would look at me during sex. Plus everyone fantisizes every now and then, i would be a hypocrite to say i didn't fantasize about other guys every now and again.

  • I think in a secure relationship porn doesn't present a problem.

  • Porn only ruins relationships if your relationship sucked in the first place.

  • All men like seeing something naked, doesn't matter if it's attractive or not so I don't feel insecure at all. I like porn and I learn new things and like to act out what I learn with my partner but never think about them being the porn star I watched that day. Most porn stars really aren't that attractive, it's what they are doing that's the turn on to me... granted I don't wanna see some elderly couple getting it on but as long as they look decent and doing hot stuff then I can get into it

  • I'm not a psychologist, but I think most sane people can separate entertainment from real life expectations. You can watch an action movie without succumbing to the fantasy that every bullet fired from a gun looks like flipping tracer rounds and a flipped up table will save you from them.

    Pornstars aren't real, they have sex with gobs of makeup on, fake their orgasms, and any mess ups are edited out. It'd have to be a truly soft headed individual to watch porn and conclude that they should be able to expect that of themselves or anyone.

    Not that I think all kids are soft heads, (knuckleheads maybe lol) but that's why they aren't "supposed to" watch it. Their minds are impressionable and that's when problems can happen.

  • Meh, my guy and I will watch porn together, he watches alone and I do think. We have a great sex life and relationship overall. I know it hasn't diminished my "relationship commitment" if it ever did infringe on his, mindvof our happiness I'm sure we'd discuss it and decide what's the best thing moving forward. As long as porn doesn't negatively impact the relationship it's ok in our homes.

  • Porn provides unhealthy representation of sex and that can influence the sex life on unexperienced young couples.

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