Why Intimacy Isn't Only About Sex

Why Intimacy Isn't Only About Sex

What do you think when you think about intimacy? Usually, the average human understanding about intimacy accords to sexual intercourse; which is indeed a common aspect of intimacy. But, intimacy isn't only about sex. It's a highly transcendent phenomenon which allows two souls to connect spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Sex is merely the physical and emotional aspect of it- maybe even spiritual. However, pure intimacy itself cannot simply be attained by means of sexual intercourse.

Have you ever just looked at your partner in awe and just wonder to yourself,

"How did I ever get this lucky?"

That simple phrase itself would be more than likely expressed out of intimacy. The solicitous desire your heart holds for your partner, the simple idea of them, the presence of them...the very existence of them just sends your emotions spiraling into a cyclone of warmth, beatitude, and affection. Have you ever wondered why our heart rate may increase each time you either think about, hear from, or see your partner? That, I believe, is your body's natural way of intimately connecting with your significant other.

You can easily share intimate moments with another person simply by engaging in pure solitude, just gazing into each other's eyes, enjoying the presence of one another. That itself is probably the highest level of intimacy in my personal opinion; even more than sex.

Why Intimacy Isn't Only About Sex

Sex is a physical sensation. Our bodies consist of an endocrine and reproductive system which allows us to feel mind-blowing sensations within our genitals, and the exchanging of those sensations whilst connecting with a partner can render the process as being very intimate, but it does not equal intimacy in itself.

Reason being... if you are in a non-committed relationship with someone, and only decide to have sex for fun...where is the intimacy in doing that? It would almost hold little to no value, no purpose, and no strings attached to it. You cannot and absolutely will not acquire intimacy with someone you don't love and have an emotional connection with.

So, in conclusion...you and your partner can share intimacy any kind of way. Whether it's sexual or nonsexual.The fundamental definition of intimacy is close familiarity or friendship. When you're in the presence of someone or feel an emotional bond with them, you feel close to them. The very thought of them warms your heart and makes your emotions go wild. That's closeness, that's affection, that's love...that's intimacy.

Matter of fact, you don't even have to be in a romantic relationship to share an intimate bond with someone. You can share an intimate bond with anyone; your parent or guardian, your sister or brother, cousins, aunt/uncle, other relatives, friends, associates, co-workers, and even your pets. Intimate relationships don't always end in romance. You can have an intimate relationship with any living being...because the main aspect of intimacy is two living beings uniting together in a sentimental bond.

Personally, my boyfriend and I are long distance. But, the level of intimacy and chemistry we share is like no other.

Why Intimacy Isn't Only About Sex

The way he adoringly gazes at me when we're on video chat almost sends shivers through my veins. My best guy friend even told me that it's amazing how we're not even physically in contact, but we have chemistry that strong even over video. That goes to show the level of pure intimacy we have. And falling asleep on video with him is truly a delicate, incomparable and sensational thing for me. It's a truly amazing thing...just to be in his company though not yet physically, but to fall asleep together and be in complete solitude with him is incomparable to anything almost.

That's pure intimacy and I feel more connected to him than almost ever, and we haven't even had sexual intercourse yet. Haven't even been in the same room together yet.

But we still have that intimate bond. That is something that everyone should be able to experience at least once in their life...because things like this are too amazing and absolutely incredible for anyone to not experience it. Every human deserves it.

That's my stance on how intimacy is not always necessarily about sex. I'd love to hear some of your views regarding this post. Hope you gained a bit of insight upon reading!

17 6

Most Helpful Girl

  • I love this and feel exactly the same way. Having sex too early in a relationship causes people to see each other as sex objects and they often skip the learning about and developing intimacy stages. That's why you see catastrophic breakups where people start screaming at and hitting each other, because they don't genuinely care about one another. You should always always always develop intimacy and trust in a relationship before jumping into bed with someone

    Staring into someone's eyes is an incredibly intimate experience. That's why they call the eyes the window to the soul, because it feels like someone can see through you when you look at them. There's a lot that happens when you look deeply into someone's eyes, especially someone you're romantically attracted to. There's a guy I've been flirting with who makes my stomach flip upside down when he looks at me and I just can't stand it. I know there's something there, but I have to get to know him better first. I'm not the kind of girl who can have a relationship with someone I don't know well enough

    • Perfect stance, my friend. :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Bottom line: Cynicism and emotional detachment lead to empty hearts and meaningless sex.

    Absolutely agree! Where there is no faith in anything, everything dies inside. And then tends to die off completely a lot sooner. Which is why I find it alarming that so many women where I live are so dead inside. They see men as mere sex objects, the same as how men view women.

    And if you're somehow not shiny enough, they refuse to consider your worth in any other area. Loveless, shallow, and empty creatures. Never satisfied, always hungry.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Sex is only a part of intimacy with your spouse, s. o., boy or girlfriend even friends. You can have an intimate conversation with a friend and not have anything to do with sex! Intimacy is closeness. It's about touch in both sexual and non sexual ways, touching doesn't always end up in sex!!

    • What is sex?

  • Aww, your boyfriend sounds so sweet :) Wishing you guys the best!
    Agree-intimacy isn't all about sex, it can happen anywhere really :)

    • Thank you sweetheart. I wish the same for you and your partner- if you have one. <3 I truly appreciate you sharing your thoughts on my post! :) All the best! ♡

    • Thank you!! and you're welcome

    • Can you tell me what is sex and what is intimacy?

  • i have never thought of sex when i thought of intimacy. certainly it can involve intimacy but i think sex is not intimacy at all unless it already is there and you add sex to it. think of all the people having sex who couldnt care less about each other. vs when two people hug just bc they want to be near. not bc they want to cum.

    • surprises me that most people would associate intimacy with sex and not simply genuine affection.

  • Loved this one. Got me thinking about my memories.

  • AGREED! Men need the emotional connection as well. I recently came across the Article below. A VERY powerful read! Australian Men are paying Sex Workers for EMOTIONAL intimacy.

    AUSTRALIAN sex workers have sent a message to women as they reveal married men are spending huge sums of money on them for “girlfriend experiences” or “companionship bookings”.

    One woman, who goes under the pseudonym Mrs Robinson, told news. com. au she feels like a “marriage counsellor” and that Australian women are failing to understand the needs of their partners as more and more men are driven to online apps to find intimacy.

    “I do see a lot of married men and they’re not getting that intimacy at home, at all,” Mrs Robinson told news. com. au.

    “Men are looking to be understood and be heard. They’re looking for that bit of love that they’re obviously missing. I could open up a school to teach women how to be intimate because there are so many out there that are not giving intimacy to their husbands.”

    Women have so many different issues they have to deal with, and children can be a big reason for a disconnect.”

    www.news.com.au/.../f58757a771c55f4d00fc78048016212e

    • Interesting... I was reading about "Why Men Cheat" recently and for emotional reasons was the number one. Hence... why so many men are having and seeking emotional affairs now. Those actually hurt way more than just fucking a random chick. I guess women think men shouldn't be emotional.

    • Loved your take on it! Thanks for the article link also!

  • I agree intimacy is so nice. Where you can actually feel the person in more than one way, its a good feeling

  • I have always considered myself as 'demisexual'.
    Demisexuals are characterized by a lack of sexual attraction toward any person unless they become deeply emotionally or romantically connected with a specific person or persons. The level of connection it takes for sexual desire to form is dependent on how close the relationship is rather than initial attraction. It is an orientation that is not chosen.
    I'm not really sure if this applies in this case but it seemed to me that it did.

  • Would u count posing? I mean I have females from my dance class posing round me more slutty for me than for other deeper male friends of theirs... can I get sex.

    See my question for more detail

  • You make good points. People who do casual sex or friends with benefits shows that sex is not always about intimacy, they're just doing it for fun with no strings attached. I personally think its more about the bond and just wanting to be with your partner all the time, whether sex is involved or not. I just wish there was a girl out there that wanted to be intimate with me :(

    • You're still very young darling. I'm sure you'll find someone out there one day! Best wishes :)

  • Uh, well, you wrote this all by yourself? Seems like a lot of happy dreamy feelings.

    And sex is about sex - raw, visceral, passionate.
    Intimacy is about being close. More like what 'making love' it - sitting on the sofa watching a movie together. You're trying to break out sex which is the way it should be. It's a separate thing in all of it.

    A couple of sentences would have explained your entire 'take. [shrug]

  • Emotional intimacy is investing and then physical intimacy is cashing out your investment. So the more time spent building up trust/love, the greater the touch/kiss/sex will feel. That's why people highly rate relationship sex over casual and why casual can feel empty.

  • If women could hold better conversations and have better hobbies then men wouldn't only see them as sex objects. But you don't have better hobbies, so intimacy is only about sex for us.

    • @John_Doesnt come let's grabble :*

    • interesting point...

    • better hobbies? Like what?

  • The definition of intimacy was never sex to begin with

    • Have you even read the post?

  • but can you orgasm during eye gazing? if so, i'm down!

    • You are such a Philistine.

    • Sure, you've just got to touch yourself at the same time :p

    • @Jonquill willing to try this but seems awkward

    • Show All
  • Awesome Take!

  • I love this article. My thoughts exactly.

  • Intimacy is the highest form of acceptance, approval or whatever you wanna call it. There's just something in that moment when another human being dances into your comfort zone, and doesn't make you unconfortable.

    • Exactly! Thank you for sharing. :)

    • Wish there were more girls with that type of mindset.

  • İ desire you. Ohhh

  • Sex with your soulmate is truly the best thing ever. But sex for lust and pleasure means nothing to me

  • awesome!

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