Casual sex... what is it about, and is it for you?

[Findesemana]

Casual sex is more or less sex done for pleasure and with many persons outside of a committed relationship. In contemporary Western society, this is not as condemned as it once was, though of course sexuality is subjective and not everybody approves of it.

However, casual sex is common for younger people, because we've grown up in more sexually open times compared to our parents and grandparents. This is my own view of course, but then I think people partake in casual sex for the following reasons:

- Fun

Humans like happiness and naturally seek it out. Many things are fun evidently, but then sex is fun also. I cannot speak for all persons, but I believe this is arguably the major reason why many people do it.

- Social Reasons

Some do it to look cool, or out of insecurity, which are not good overall. Nonetheless, this is a factor, especially for insecure persons or others who are subject to peer pressure or want to fit in.

- Abuse

Unfortunately, some people do it as a response to past abuse. This cannot be mocked, though it's a way of coping with the abuse.

This may seem very hedonistic to some, but then this is just subjective morality at play, and many theists would not condemn things that are enjoyable. From a Christian standpoint, Jesus never said enjoyable things are wrong in the Gospels. He never said casual sex is wrong either, and neither did God in the Old Testament, at least not explicitly.

There are drawbacks of STDs, pregnancy, etc., though protection is widely available and as with all things using common sense, good judgment and intuition must prevail. A criticism of casual sex is that it undermines intimacy, though I'd say it shouldn't. Sexuality in humans is used for many different things, and the idea it should be solely for committed relationships stems from religion largely. In some cultures, sexuality is an actual ritual, so it's complex and subjective. If two persons consent to sexual activity, then no one party is being used.

These are just my thoughts, but then comment and cite your thoughts!

[indian_empress_91]

It's not for me. The reason i love sex: it's with the person i cherish showing them i not only cherish them as a person but i wanna cherish their body, it's because of the intimacy and passion and feelings, it's like this high like this euphoric overwhelming feeling, to have casual sex i would feel guilty, dirty, terrible after all the sexual pleasure is over i'll feel horrible about myself, so i don't see it as worth it. Casual sex is just the pleasure at a certain level, but intimate sex with a boyfriend is mind blowing and on so many levels pleasurable. Cause of this i wouldn't cheat or go around being promiscuous

[Findesemana]

that's ok... but then it's not cheating to me is more complex then pleasure seeking... but thanks for your comment.

[indian_empress_91]

yea cheating is more complex, not saying casual sex is the same, just for me as a person, cause casual sex is not for me, cheating wouldn't be for me either. :)

[thelionting]

Growing older I'm seeking/would like to share my life with someone special.

As fun as casual sex is I'm sick of waking up and feeling abit used and it didn't mean anything other than pleasure for the two of you...

I really wanna be in love and wake up and make love to the same girl over and over till the sun goes down...

[Findesemana]

i can see that, but then i don't see why it's wrong to do.

[thelionting]

I don't see a problem with casual sex... It's just abit frustrating if you want something more If you get me

[Findesemana]

I agree..

[xHoneyxBeex]

I would never engage in casual sex under any circumstances. For me, sex is an intimate act to be shared between two people who love each other. I could not have sex with someone who does not love or respect me. I would only ever have sex with someone I am in a committed relationship with and who I greatly trust. I don't judge those who do have casual sex though (as long as they are responsible about it and use protection), it's just definitely not for me.

[SoccerDiva]

I am a bit of a sex addict so casual sex allows me to have the sex I want without having to worry about a relationship.

[abw121290]

That's well said!

[VeryBiFun]

I am as well SoccerDiva and need casual sex outside of my relationship. I use the internet to meet people and and have "virtual sex" masturbating for others to see. I meet up with people I have met on-line or at work. I even pay escorts when I need physical contact and can't find the right person. I am bi-sexual so don't limit myself to just women.

[MargaritaPeach]

Casual sex is one of the many joys that makes life worth living. ;). If you haven't tried it, I would highly recommend it.

[Findesemana]

i agree...

[ReneDS]

casual sex isn't that great, to me sex is about bounding with someone you like, i had a girlfriend once, she was only interested in sex, well i liked it but thinking back about it, it wasn't so great after all. i didn't really love her, she was a pretty girl but in the end , she broke up , wanted me back and i told her no, sorry not interested anymore.

[Scrambled]

Would be cool to have casual sex. Ugly people don't have that luxury. Sex workers feel more like a business transaction.

[Sairres]

I'm interested in casual sex because relationships are hard work. I'm just not in the mood for a committed relationship right now. All the attachment messes with your head and romance is a pain. If I see an attractive guy or girl, I just want sex.

[molan]

If you are bi-sexual then clearly a monogamous relationship is not for you.

[Kris85]

I have engaged in casual sex quite a few times in life and it's not really a big deal to me. I do prefer to have sex in a loving commited relationship because it is more fulfilling. I treat casual sex as two people with no feelings for each other, getting their rocks off and that's it. I am able to separate feelings and attachment from sex but as I get older I feel a relationship is more important. I know casual sex isn't for everyone and I don't knock anyone that does or doesn't do it.

[Findesemana]

i think sex in a relationship is best... just don't get why casual sex is "inherently wrong"..

[JackKerouac77]

It's not my way of doing things, but whatevs

[kittykatbrat]

I am a single serial dater with a two digit dating pool of men that I am
constantly culling and adding to.

For me, I only ever want sex + fun.
The end!!!

Ps: Monogamy is NOT natural.
Love is TOTAL self delusion.

[Findesemana]

i don't think we know either way if monogamy is wrong, but i agree with your other points..

[MargaritaPeach]

I think monogamy works for some people, but it is most definitely way over-rated.

[molan]

"From a Christian standpoint, Jesus never said enjoyable things are wrong in the Gospels. He never said casual sex is wrong either, and neither did God in the Old Testament, at least not explicitly."

Casual sex is sex outside marriage, and both Jesus and the Old Testament strong condemns sex out of wedlock, so you are clearly wrong and show a lack of Biblical knowledge.

[Findesemana]

he didn't...

[Findesemana]

but then i'm not a Christian, i have little time for false religions..

[molan]

He didn't need to state the oblivious, but he did confirmed the law of Moses that did say so, so however indirectly he did. The apostles confirmed it as well, and know what he said and speaked on his behalf. See 1 Thessalonians 4:3 1 Thessalonians 4:5 1 Corinthians 6:9, 10 Revelation 21:8 Hebrews 13:4 Ephesians 5:3 2 Corinthians 12:21 We may both be non believers, but the Bible is clear nonetheless, and if you do claim to be a Christian then having sex before marriage is wrong period.

[Findesemana]

i don't believe what your religion is... but then the Bible says many things, so continue to eat prawns and get punished by your God.. lololol..

[molan]

I am a agnostic, so I don't believe in a God nor do claim there can't be a God. But you are stating false statements and I am correcting you - my lack of religious view doesn't matter, I am speaking about facts nothing more nothing less.

[Findesemana]

I don't believe that, but there you go...

[molan]

You sound very religious now, denying plain facts :) Can't believe you are that stupid, it's in plain writing !!!

[Findesemana]

i'm an atheist... have been for many years... i just sense you're lying, but then meh, not interested in further discussion...

[molan]

Read the scriptures mentioned instead of calling me a liar, you credibility is suffering when you say stupid stuff that are factually wrong. All you had to do it look it up before commenting or let it pass if you have a political agenda. Now you are simply just basing and speaking against better knowledge.

[WitchKing]

i love casual sex. hooking up is the best.

[Stayhappyy]

not everyone is comfortable with relationships... some like to live free forever. make friends, get intimate , if sex is on the cards with no strings what so ever then why not... explore and live happyyyyy

[Findesemana]

and casual sex makes me and others happy, and that makes you and others unhappy, who cares?

[blahblahblahbla]

Of course, as a dude, casual sex is the best kind of sex.

[Anonymous]

Casual sex is one step up from masturbation with the downside that you have to take her home and you are tired.

[MargaritaPeach]

If it's only one step up, you aren't picking the right people to do it with. Keep looking. ;)

[Opinion Owner]

@margaritapeach Thanks for your comment. I have been married a long time so I haven't had casual sex in a long while. When I did, it was fun but didn't compare to sex now although I can think of some from back in the day that were much more wild. What i meant was the excitement for me wasn't as high with them, it was fun but not at the same level even though one in particular was off the chain wild. I guess there is a difference, for me, between fun vs exciting. Maybe the wrong girls for me then.

[Anonymous]

p*rn has gotten boring. Sex, meaningless. I'm not into having sex I'm into making love.

I watch p*rn and I see how guys give girls facials and have cum dripping off their face, and then when I get that opportunity with a girl I barely even know, I cannot pull myself to do it. I end up not coming at all and just cuddling with them.

Can someone please explain to me what making love feels like with someone who you actually love and who cares for you? Because that's what I am looking for, I think.

[Opinion Owner]

Like after a meaningless cum, then what? You're like... 'That's it?' At least, it'd be better if it lasted longer than 5 minutes, but the day/week/month/year/lifetime of regret with guilt and shame isn't worth it.

[CiaraX]

Making love with someone you love and cares for you is so passionate. It's just amazing. It's more than just having sex. It's a deep connection. Once you do it, you'll know the difference.

[Opinion Owner]

I am still seeking that and I gladly welcome and invite God into this to help me be prepared to make love.

[Findesemana]

i can understand that but then see nothing wrong with sex for pleasure...

[Opinion Owner]

I admit that I know nothing, and probably not the person to ask about this. But I understand that the desires of the flesh are in contrary with the spirit. The flesh is against the spirit and the spirit is against the flesh. The flesh which consists of sensual living, sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, hatred, fits of rage, discord, and selfish ambition, orgies, drunkenness and the like. However the spirit leads to joy, peace, goodness, purity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Now I admit, I have had my fair share of casual sex. I have even seen prostitutes on occasion, but it was so meaningless and made me feel worse than before I started. Not saying that I wouldn't have sex with a girl right now for free, but I would highly unlikely pay for it again.

[MargaritaPeach]

Out-of-this-world fantastic. That's how it feels. Like you'be just been introduced to the world's most powerful drug, and you couldn't care less about anything else that's going on in the outside world at that moment. Your whole body tingles, and every nerve ending is on fire--so much so that you have to remind yourself to keep breathing. And all you want is to do it again as soon as it's over. With maybe just enough time in between sessions for a shower and a sandwhich.

[Opinion Owner]

@margaritapeach Sign me up, please. Thank you.

[Opinion Owner]

Is it good because it's a spiritual connection, because it's intimate with someone you like, or other?

[MargaritaPeach]

I think there should be some kind of connection between the two of you, yes. When you both want each other equally, it makes for a lot of passion. I don't think it necessarily has to be love, but loving the person and being loved back adds a measure of comfort and security. A spark between you--physical chemistry--that matters more than any other single factor.

[Opinion Owner]

Physical chemistry meaning physical attraction?

[MargaritaPeach]

Yep... if you kiss someone and you both feel that spark, you'll know. ;)