Why Slut Shaming Needs To S-T-O-P

This is something that bothers me and I feel like I have to say something about it (or nobody else will), but I’m not nearly as articulate as Laci Green so I will let her tell you why slut shaming needs to stop.


I've highlighted the main points of the video for those of you who've decided to skip the video and go straight to the comments section.

One of the things Laci is saying is that sleeping around has nothing to do with how much you respect yourself.

"Not doing what you’re supposed to, to be a good respectable woman does not mean you lack self-respect."

Things that have to do with how much you respect yourself:

  • Standing up for yourself
  • Making your own decisions
  • Not putting up with people’s bullshit

Things that have nothing to do with how much you respect yourself:

  • What kind of sex you have
  • What kind of clothes you wear
  • What kind of makeup you put on

“For women promiscuity is considered a “stupid decision.” And when you make bad decisions you pay the consequences. Like losing everyone’s respect, being shamed, being called a slut, being bullied…. But for dudes promiscuity is not a “bad decision,” promiscuity is a very good decision.”

Why Slut Shaming Needs To S-T-O-P

Okay, I'm done. What are your thoughts?

2 1

Most Helpful Girl

  • Why is one word used against females considered something that needs to be rallied for, when there are dozens of words used against men for lesser sexual things.
    It's as if the idea that one single negative word towards female sexuality trumps all the non-negative things about female sexuality and the massive negative hate on male sexuality.

    - We are able to openly discuss sexuality & our fantasies. It is done by groups of women both on and off tv. It is seen in all media formats.
    - We can openly go to strip clubs, or go to sexually geared movies in groups and it's seen as "empowered" and "sexually free".
    - We can openly read smut in public, at work, around children. No one questions it.
    - We can buy sex toys without stigma. Women actually gather in "fantasia parties" to do this.
    - Female orgasm is glorified and used to see products. (Herbal essences for example)
    - A female being sexually forward is not turned into sexual assault.

    NONE of these things are things men can do openly without being labeled, shamed, attacked, or punished somehow.

    But because other girls (mostly) and men call females the word slut in a negative connotation, we have to rally and make it a major issue?

    It's makes us look like whiny weak little brats who can't take one simple negative thing amongst the massive amount of positive. Yet we are completely cool with all the negative shit pushed on the other gender for their sexuality.

    • Upvote, that's pretty cool

    • <3 egalitarians :) Also, everything she says is true! You go girl ;)

Most Helpful Guy

  • A slut is a slut and will always be a slut.
    It's been like this longer than recorded history.

    If you're wondering why women can and men cannot be sluts, here's the graphical explanation:
    img.myconfinedspace.com/.../1277202955935.jpg

    • that graph is the stupidest thing I've ever read but it did amuse me.

    • So sexist

    • Hahaha Awesome

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What Girls & Guys Said

18 41
  • Even though I despise Laci Green (because she's fake and does her "activism" is for attention-seeking purposes), I will agree with her here and the topic in general.

    Self-Respect (noun): "pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity"

    In reality, you can be promiscuous and confident in yourself, and you can be a virgin and have a low self-esteem.

    So, you can have self-respect and be a slut and be a self-loathing virgin.

  • It´s not slut shaming if I don´t want a girl that slept around for a girlfriend or a wife. It´s funny how you girls are starting to say that you no longer want a players couse you dont want guys that any girl can have. Most of us guy , for as long as we know about ourselves , don´t want girls that are easy for relationships. And again women talk about that we man can fuck around and they can't , but again answer for that is again that story about keys and locks , you know the one you hate and can´t take anymore.

  • I love it. This is good, rational, healthy perspective. Rad.

  • By logic standards this is a dumb video. I bet she's hoeing or done some hoe stuff and that's why she's saying it's wrong to shame the sluts. I also think she's contradictory. Sex is a decision, and she says sleeping around is a bad decision. Yet making a decision is standing up for oneself? If you consciously make a bad decision repeatedly then how much does that mean you respect yourself.
    On a personal note I know or have know some shady bitches that do that. I don't shame them unless they cross me. I just know she's a slut and I wouldn't share a bottle of water with her even if I was dying of thirst lol. I think being a hoe is wrong regardless of gender they're gonna be a slut or dude with the dirty dick, don't associate me with your behavior or come within a couple feet of me we're good.

    • She says that for women sleeping around is considered a "stupid decision" Choosing to have sex with multiple partners is not a bad decision if you don't feel bad about it.

    • Tomato Tomato. Bad=Stupid. Maybe I shouldn't have hit the guy with the tire iron? Those people should remember that at their next STD screening. Fuckin that many people wasn't a bad decision.

    • Ayyyyy, i like this

  • I agree slut shaming needs to stop because it's a form of bullying and no one should be bullied period. It's ridiculous how people are bullied for their sexuality whether they are hypersexual or asexual, bi, gay etc.
    Promiscuity can be a bad decision for anyone though because of the risk of STDs, but that's an individual decision and should be treated as such. Although wanting a partner to not be promiscuous is not slut shaming.

    • Apparently I'm slut shaming because a girl I dated sent nudes to me, before she met me, and put nudes of herself on the internet for everyone else to see. This girl also complains about guys sending her nudes. If that's not hypocrisy than I don't know what is. This girl claims to be a feminist too. I think this girl mistakes feminism for hey I can do whatever I want because I'm a girl and have no consequences.

    • Because I complained about a girl*

    • Lets just reverse that situation, how would you feel if a guy you dated sent nudes to you before meeting you and many other strangers?

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  • that you will post this and risk exposing yourself to tremendous amounts of hate from men is genuinely admirable and I respect you a lot.

    • And a few women. Thank you, I appreciate it.

    • @Anonymous is soooooooooooooooo brave.

    • Tell that to everyone else who posts anonymously

  • Ok but by calling it "slut shaming" you're saying YES YOU'RE A SLUT BUT YOU SHOULDN'T BE SHAMED FOR THAT!!

    The term is almost as harmful as the action you guys are trying to stop.

    • It's called that because people aren't shamed for being "socially active or promisuous", they're shamed for being "sluts". It's called that so people know when they see it.

  • How about people live their lives privately & without worrying about what others think... people broadcast every detail & show off everything on social media & in person & then get offended when others have an opinion... get over it & live your fucking life, IDGAF I'm going to do, what I'm going to do, when I'm going to do it... we were born naked & unashamed because we didn't care about others & did what made us happy or felt good... my goal is to return to that innocence

    • Agreed. One girl I almost met off POF talked about her sex life on Twitter. While I'm not shaming her for having sex, you just don't put that kinda stuff on Twitter or social media unless you want to perceived that way. That applies to both guys and girls.

  • Dressing, makeup and the type of sex doesn't make you a slut.
    Slut don't even have a proper definition.
    Promiscuity is good decision? Good? WTF?
    Well the first thing comes in my mind when I hear "that person is slut" is that he or most obviously she had slept or better say had sex with a lot of guys, lot of.
    I don't shame them, I don't shame anybody because I simply don't have enough time to waste.
    But the reality is, I'd never commit with such girl, not because of her past but because of her potential future that she can't settle with anybody.

    • If I choose to have multiple sex that is none of your business and if I don't regret doing it then its not a bad decision. It's only bad if you regret doing it. I stand by that.

    • I never stopped you nor I told anybody to shame them. I said, if someone rejects you because of this, then don't blame him because it's none of your business if he doesn't regret doing it then its not a bad decision. I stand by that.

  • I am not watching some stupid jenna marbles video. Define slut shaming and I'll tell you whether it should s-t-o-p. One of the problems with these types of questions is that people mean different things when they use a phrase like "slut" or "slut shaming," so first you need to define your terms.

  • I can see where some people are like " why embrace the term slut?"

    I think it's one of those thing where its like "oh, you think im a slut, fine call it what you will but let me tell you a thing first. "

    I personally think someones sexual activity is no ones business.

    • Agreed, I think people who are virgins or have slept around have the issue because they make it known. I mean before I lost my virginity at 21, I wasn't going around telling people about it. Why? Because it didn't define me.

  • Sure, following your logic serial killers have a lot of self-respect.

    I think people need to understand what self respect is and what respect means in general. Respect is a "value" that value can't be evaluated by yourself and shouldn't be evaluated by yourself but by a logic of what is wrong or right, what is "humanly" respectable. Giving up to your basic pleasure instinct like an animal is NOT self-respect. Wearing provocative things just because society and/or media tells you they are cool is NOT self-respect. Putting on heavy make-up because it is supposed to mean "beauty" in the eyes of media and society is NOT self-respect.

    TLDR
    -Sex is supposed to be done with someone who "means" something for you or to reproduce, not to satisfy some basic instinct like animals.
    -Clothes are supposed to give you heat
    -Make up is unhealthy

    Thoses are facts, if people feel better in their mind doing those, that's great but it doesn't change that they lack respect for themselves.

    • Who are you to decide what sex is supposed to be? I think people who actually follow their bodies needs and wants, and aren't afraid of what society says, posses way more self respect, than someone who is almost ashamed and afraid of their sexuality. According to you we should all just look like hobos, and only have sex when we want to reproduce - Is that the kind of life you want?

    • Deciding? I am giving a valid comparison between humans and animals. I am not deciding of what facts are... We are one of the few species with emotional intelligence and concepts like love. That's about all the difference between us and a pig. If you decide to act like a pig you have no self respect for yourself as a human. My point is quite clear and easy to understand. Your answer is similar to asking who am I to decide if canibalism is bad. Furthermore there's absolutely no pride in following what your body tells you instead of thinking and giving value to what you are and what surrounds you. It's just a proof of low intellect. I never said we should only have sex to reproduce but to give human value to your deeds. Having sex with someone who matters to you show pride for what you are. A human.

    • Humans are animals tho so don't be so narcissistic lmfao

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  • This word is not going away so either stop caring so much what people think or stop being a slut.

    • Thank you it is what it is

    • Don't stop being sluts.

    • Being a slut should be regarded as a positive thing, like being a stud.

  • You're not a slut unless people know about it.

    Have sex with who ever and how many ever people you want! Just don't tell people about it. Problem solved (:

    • Yeah I feel like putting it out there that you sleep around is as much if a turnoff as putting it out there that you're a virgin. It's unnecessary to mention and when you openly boast about it, it's like it defines you.

    • The thing is that some women also get called sluts because of what they wear, BY OTHER WOMEN

    • That's my whole point its when people know that causes issues. If people don't know they can't call you one

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  • Sluttery needs to be shameful. But at the same time, women who've messed up should not be made to feel like they're sewer urchins or beyond all hope or chance of redemption.

    What *does* need to stop is virgin shaming. It's everywhere these days; and it places women in particular into a no-win situation.

    • No it should not. There is nothing wrong with sleeping around.

    • There is everything wrong with sleeping around.

    • Like what?

  • I don't get why people are offended. When you put yourself out there like that then you are subjective to this kind of treatment but if you can discreetly carry on with your lifestyle and nobody knows then you can't be slut shamed. I don' think there will ever be a time where everyone is ok with this or not speaking against it. No ones sex life should be broadcasted. If you are proud to be sexually liberated or whatever you want to call it discuss this with your sexual partners not with people that don't care and if people you have sex with are the ones slut shaming perhaps you should get to know someone before jumping in the saxk.

    • Agreed, no ones sex life is anyone's business but their own. Guy or girl. I don't go out of my way to find out a girls sex history much like I don't want a girl to interrogate me about mine as if that's a make or break deal. A persons sex life or lack of doesn't define them. What does define them is their personality and how they treat others. Only thing I would concerned about is if a girl has an std or cheats if I was dating them.

    • The idea that it should be kept a complete secret stems from it being shameful. And besides, it doesn't stop people from judging them for it. You're describing a sort of don't-ask-don't-tell policy.

    • @electrollama No what I mean is that how much sex you are having and how many people you are having sex with is not the whole world's business. The term slut would exist if people would not proudly proclaim what they do with their vagina and be mindful of who they sleep around with.

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  • I've always drawn the things we as humans do to animalistic/survival behavior. Why? Because I took animal behavior class back in high school and it was very interesting.

    *I will sound like a nerd*
    Why is the girl wearing a short skirt? To pull guys (maybe). She's courting males. To look appealing.

    Why does a man flex his muscles? Why does he go to the gym? To look appealing (for health reasons too sometimes).

    We show ourselves off mentally, verbally, physically, etc for the sake of being an appealing person. Think about it.

    Girls twerking for example, seek attention from males. They need validation that they are appealing in some type of way (some Charles Darwin type of stuff but I won't get into it). Same for girls on instagram posting nudes.

    At the end of the day, we want to attract the opposite sex/same sex. Some do it for attention/proof of confidence/fun/etc.= too.

    I used to slut shame, not going to lie. Now, I just feel that you should make the best of what you do as a person

    • EXACTLY!!!

  • Losing, not loosing. Your welcome :)

    • What?

    • *You're (short for "you are")

    • Or was that supposed to be a joke?

  • This is Patriarchy, plain and simple. If we want this to end we all need to work to bring an end to this system of sexism.

  • I don't know why people get so hung up on other peoples sex lives ie: slut shaming. It has nothing to do with your life and they certainly don't give a shit what you do with yours so who really cares? You only live once. Get out and get it how you want. Never have any regrets.

    • And I'm not aiming this at you @taker it's just the general population

    • No, I agree with you

    • You'd be surprised. I've met girls who are considered "slutty" who don't wanna be judged for the experience but will not hesitate to judge or humiliate a guy who is inexperienced, even if the inexperienced guy isn't slut shaming.

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