Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health 
I have a few things I want to address in this take, but first we'll start with my story. I was bullied in middle school for all three of the years, it was a Catholic school and you're with the same kids all the time. So, every year it was just the same thing from the same people. When I started at this school there were only two girls in the class, the rest were boys. One of those boys I actually knew from a previous school we both attended, he even said we were friends. That turned out to be a lie, because he was one of the people to bully me. It was basically the entire class, expect for a quiet kid and two other kids they also picked on. I know my bullying was mild in comparsion to other peoples experiences, but it still was enough to shape who I'd turn out be and am working really hard to change. Bullying or any tramatic event, effects a person more then people realize.
Here's some of the verbal and physical ways they bullied me or tried to.
Verbally
- They called me names
- Did and said things deliberately, just so they could laugh at me
- Made fun of the way I looked and how I dressed (even though we had uniforms and all looked the same) They basically just made of fun of my entire appearance.
- Told me "no one will ever want to date me " and one boy even went as far to tell me "I'll be raped one day in my life"
- Made fun of my parents and other family members
Physically
- Hit me over the head with a hard cover text book ( a so- called friend of mine did this to make the boys in the back row laugh)
- Punched me in the arm, to see how strong I was
- Took a piece of mental and slid it down my arm to see how sharp it was
- Tried to stick my head in a garbage bag, after I refused to do it on my own for a dollar (that's one of the few times I told, but that was then I learned money speaks volume's. Because, the teach told me "They would never do that, their parents pay good money to the school")
They did and said a lot to me in those three years, that's only a basic summary of what I encountered on a daily bases. I was between the ages of 12-14 when all that happened and I'm 27 going on 28 now, I'm still trying to work through all that. I've heard all my life to just "get over it" or "it doesn't matter", but to me it does matter because it turned me into someone I never wanted to be. It's also not that simple for me to get over, because I have all those words and things to deal with and then I have all the other negative things people have said to me after that (that includes family). So, it's just negativity on top of negatvity with no real consistant positivity to over ride all that. I try to take people's advice and be happy, but everytime I try to the other shoe drops and it gets taken from me. I've become a very distrusting, cynical and pessimistic person, due to my life experiences and it's something I'd like to change. I'm no where in my life I'd like to be and still have things I haven't experienced, which I'm also trying to change. I don't often, but sometimes I wonder what I'd be like now or how my life would be now, had I not gone though that. I suppose it does really matter.
I want to move past this but it's hard and one of the things that makes it hard is people not validating how I feel and acting like I don't have a right to be upset by what happened to me or that what happened to me doesn't actually matter.Which brings me to the other thing I want to mention in this take. When someone goes through something in their life, that they never asked to have happen to them. They don't want pitty or to be treated different, but they do want and need support and validation for how they feel. That it's okay to cry, to be angry, to be changed by it, to be hurt, to be scared, to have fears. That all that they think and feel is a natural reaction to a tramatic experience, but that in time they will heal and get better.
What they don't need is people making light of the situation and making comments and acting like they're being a big whiny baby and have no right to be upset. All I've ever wanted was people to support me. To believe in me and encourage me to move past this, to let me know that they know I can. To tell me "it's okay, I'm sorry you had to go through that". That's not what I got though, I have a few people on my side. Most people though just "tell me to get over it" and act like I'll never work past this. That's not helpful, that's harmful. Because, when you already feel bad about yourself and the things you've gone though. That just makes you feel worse and very isolated from the rest of the world, like no one will ever understand how you feel or even worse, that no one really cares. I say that from personal experience I feel those two things a lot.
I'm writing this because, I want people to understand how bad bullying can be and how it can effect a person and the way they view themselves or how any tramatic event can have lasting inpact on a person and their life. I want them to understand, that making light of it will not help or motivate the person but instead do the opposite.
I also want the people who have been bullied, are being bullied, have gone through something and or are going through something to understand that, they're not alone. There are people who understand. It might be difficult now, but it will get better. It will always be apart of your past but it doesn't have to define you or your life. Not, if don't let it. I did and I'm still paying for it and trying very hard to change it.
I hope my story is somehow helpful to someone and that this take shows people that validation and compassion go along way with someone who's gone through or is going through something.
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