Sexual Relationships
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Boyfriend is a fuckup, what do I do?

After losing my virginity to my boyfriend of 10 months, (I was very careful as to when), I looked on his phone the morning after and saw a lot of sexual stuff with other people. He would say "175 to fuck the both of you" or trade pics, had a contact named "Blow" for paying someone for blowjobs. I confronted him immediately and he said it was because he is a drug dealer and he uses sexual words as "code" so the gov doesn't catch him dealing, for example the contact "Blow" is for someone he sells coke to. Anyone familiar with drug-dealing, is this COMPLETE bullshit or believable? He promises he didn't cheat on me even though I feel like his excuse is bullshit and he might as well have. He started sobbing and promised he will do anything, begging me not to leave him, and said he's stopping drug dealing now and showed me that he deleted all the contacts of the people he sold to and agreed to let me see his phone whenever I want. Also, when we did have sex he came almost immediately since he hasn't had sex for a really long time, so that's a sign he isn't cheating right? What do I do? People tell me to dump him but i lost my virginity to him so of course I don't want to break up after that (it's a HUGE deal to me). I want to give him a chance but what kind of possible solution is there to this?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I think you know what you should do, you're still just in shock. The fact that you're asking this question at all shows that your mind is already convinced. Even if the person in his phone was to do with him dealing drugs, is that really that much better? You're with a boyfriend whom you don't completely trust and he did/does deal drugs... doesn't sound like the greatest catch.

    Don't let the fact that you lost your virginity to him be reason enough for you to stay with him and be miserable. You virginity is only as important as you make it, it'll get better with time. For the time being you can try taking a break from him if you're not convinced you should break up. Hopefully during that break, the novelty and hormones of finally getting intimate with him will wear off and you'll be able to evaluate the situation more clearly.

    Good luck. :)

  • I do know when dealing folks will use drug names and such things like that, so he may really be telling you the truth. And him getting off so fast, would tell you he not getting it anywhere else...when a guy hasn't had any in a long he'll get off really fast!

    I would be worried about him dealing though, if he gets busted you could go down with him. Which is something you don't want that by any means.

    • That should say code names not drug names lol.

  • Do you really want to be in a relationship with either or is the question. There is no security in either one of them. He could or could not be cheating, him cumming fast is not a determining factor in it, he could just cum fast

Most Helpful Guys

  • To be honest, I think he's telling the truth about being a drug dealer. If you want this relationship to work, I suggest accepting this and being able to move on from it.

    Crack/Cocaine is commonly referred to as blow. And it seems much more unlikely that he had a list of people on his phone he'd receive bjs from.

  • I really think he might be honest about the drug dealing thing. If you truly care for him you're gonna have to just trust him until there is solid proof he cheated on you. If you find out for certain he did then dump his sorry ass and report him to the police for being a drug dealer. Cheaters deserve no mercy

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 13

  • Wouldn't make any difference to me what the lingo was meant to say or not to say, he is a complete looser and I would be long gone from him NOW!

  • Dealers do use sexual terms when dealing, but dealers get lots of pussy because girls sleep with them for drugs so he probably cheating on u too

  • Cheating or no cheating, this situation should not exist in between couples.

    Lose him.

  • "Boyfriend is a fuck up" Enough said.

    It doesn't if you lost your virginity to him, people come and go for reasons.

  • So dating and losing your virginity to a drug dealer is A-OK in your book?

    You know the only correct thing to do is to break up.

  • Being with a guy that is either cheating or selling drugs doesn't sound great. Also the fact that he begged and groveled is a bad sign. It sounds like some codependency. Do you really want to fuck a guy doing that? I'd break up to give him an opportunity to get his life together.

  • yes, blow is a common work for coke.

    and dump him. he's a criminal. and not even a classy criminal.

    • I read the texts with that person and it was a GUY and he send this guy a DICK pic of his own and then asked for 10 bucks for a BLOW job. He says he sends dick pics so they know he isn't a cop? True? Bullshi?

    • Oookay, that sounds like complete pervertedness... logic says that's BS. If it was some "are you a cop" test, a cop could just google a dick pic and send it. And judging by those texts, that's flat out prostitution. And gay prostitution at that.

  • Well blow is coke.

    When he came is no sign of whether or not he's cheating

    And I don't think being a drug dealer is much better than being a cheater but you know, whatever

  • hey sorry i was gone for a week but i am back! you need to dump his guy already!

  • Uh, so its either he cheated or he's a drug dealer... yeah he's no good.
    You'll get over the virginity thing, but it'll be harder for you to get over it if he keeps cheating on you.

  • what was his body language/response like when you initially confronted him? you can usually tell if they are lying just by the way they respond.
    but in the end, he's either a cheater or a drug dealer. it might just mean he'll do it much more secretively, or he might be taking drugs himself. that's not someone you would want to be with in the long run, so you should really consider your choices here.

  • He doesn't exactly sound like a stand up chap to me. If I were you I would really think about if you want to be with someone like that. I know you lost your virginity to him and that leads you to feeling attached to him, but the hurt that this relationship can cause you outweighs that attachment in my eyes.

  • He is telling you the truth. Blow is crack, he is selling 8balls

    • For all of you saying 'blow' is for crack, I read the texts with that person and it was a GUY and he send this guy a DICK pic of his own and then asked for 10 bucks for a BLOW job. He says he sends dick pics so they know he isn't a cop? True? Bullshi?

    • Are you 100% sure it's his penis?

    • Yes for sure HE is sending out dick pics

  • Blow is a legitimate street name for cocaine. I believe he may truthful on that part maybe

  • breakup or Continue to sad

  • I used to deal and talk in code. I can see it but I would just be careful. Being with a dealer is a bad road to go down. One slip up and he's in jail for who knows how long. Blow is 100% code for cocaine.

  • I would leave that loser. Drug dealers are a huge turn off!

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