Women of Gag: Have you ever been forced against your will to do a sexual activity?

[Stacyzee]

I hear girls/women speaking about rape. Nowadays it seems as if almost every girl has their own story of this terrible event that has happened to them. I hear it so much that it doesn't even shock me any more. Anyway, I just wanted to do a poll to see how many women on Gag this has actually happened to. And to those of you that were victimized, my heart goes out to you. Stay strong. You didn't deserve that.<333

[AdbicatedKing]

What has surprised me is how commonly girls shrug it off or don't report it, perhaps some of the time over a feeling of guilt, like they should have enjoyed it.

Case and point, a girl I personally very much liked was raped on a first date, but she continued dating him saying that it wasn't fair that because she wasn't on the same page as him doesn't mean he wasn't a good guy, even though he assaulted her prior to the rape.

There of course are those times you'll hear girls spreading rumors in college of a guy molesting them (then you learn that it's actually just a ruse to create distaste towards him). But almost always if a girl mentions it it's serious, and it's not rare.

I think the unfortunate problem is that by nature women are submissive, beyond just in a consensual bedroom. It's perhaps something that needs to be taught as young children. I think that children being hidden from sex promotes more occurrences of rape especially in the ages between 12-14, when girls (sometimes boys) will try and form relationships with older men not actually realizing what a relationship includes.

TLDR: We need earlier sex education and more information to young children about the dangers of not speaking up. So much of this abstinence only bullshit does nothing but make kids more naive about reality.

That's not to say that every rape is so easily preventable, but a lot of rapes are through the promise of a relationship at a young age without really knowing that we are after all, animals, and if you take steps you can prevent it to a certain degree.

[Folklore]

Seems like most women i meet say they have been. Now, I'm not saying it's not out there, but I also think like 90% of them just say they have been for attention. I used to believe ALL of them unitl I went out with this crazy bitch for a few years and after we broke up, she told EVERYONE that I beat her and raped her. After that I just got done feeling sorry for women. Real rape is terrible and I wouldn't wish it upon anybody. But on the oppositte spectrum, just because a woman regrets having sex doesn't mean it was rape. It means she's a dumb slut with confidence issues that can't keep her fucking legs closed.

[Willow4]

I would happily type here publically what was done to me, I wouldn't lie about the kind of things I've had to go through and I don't have to justify myself to anybody. I'm going to live with the injuries I have for the rest of my life. I was talking about the comments he's made on this question, therefore yes I can see them. I'm not suicidal and I'm not being big headed but I have more balls than a lot of men do, also rthomas43 was being rude to a man that was equally rude to me. Any man who says what he said to a woman deserves something thrown back at him. Not my fault rthomas43 is more of a man with morals than he is.

[xHoneyxBeex]

No, I have never experienced that. I think one reason is because I don't put myself in situations where that could occur. I have never been the partying type, I rarely drink and if I do, I never let myself get to the point of not being aware of my surroundings and what's gong on. I also do not walk alone at night or venture into bad parts of town.

I know a lot of people will disagree with me here but I am NOT saying it is the woman's fault if that does happen, it's NEVER the victim's fault, but I do think sometimes it could have been prevented. Nevertheless, it's always a terrible thing and no one deserves that. We cannot control what other people do, all we can do is try to protect ourselves as best we can and be as responsible as possible. I realize that sometimes these things can not be prevented but I still think it's a good idea for women (or men) to be aware of their surroundings, carry pepper spray or a taser, don't drink to the point of passing out, etc.

I have also been hearing about this a lot and it's a shame that so many women have experienced it. It can deeply scar someone and even take years to fully recover, mentally, from something like rape or sexual assault. It can also affect people's future relationships. It's very heartbreaking.

[XRabbitHeartX]

I haven't been raped but I was sexually touched against my will by a guy friend. It was extremely scary. He got aggressive towards me when I said "no" and "please stop". It's like it just motivated him to touch me more. I didn't know what he was capable of. Thankfully it didn't go further as 2 mutual guy friends walked into the room and immediately got him off me. He is very scary when he is drunk and everyone knows it. It might not seem like much but it was enough to traumatize me a bit. Shame on everyone who blames girls and says it's our fault and that we could have prevented it. People like that are what is wrong with this world. It's always a joke till it happens to you or someone you know.

[Anonymous]

Thankfully I have never been raped, but I have been molested as a kid. The guy had mental problems, so I kinda forgive him. My mom knows it but I don't think anybody else does (maybe she told my dad secretly). But I think, overall, it wasn't such a terrible experience. Of course I felt awful at the time, but, since I managed to get away quickly (before he took my shorts of), I didn't suffer much, and now I have a good knowledge on how to avoid these situations. As I have always had a good relationship with my parents, I wasn't afraid to tell my mom what happened, and so I didn't have to go through it again. Phew! I hope that, with this experience, I won't ever be raped.

[Willow4]

I have and I second that nice sentiment :) Any women who have been through the darkness and come out the other side, you're strong as hell and never forget it. You can get through anything <3

[abundantlyrich]

plus one

[Izzy2102]

No, not really. But it happened to me a few times that I was at a party and some guy pulled me closer to him and I told him to leave me alone, but he didn't. Usually they do anyways after a while or someone else steps in. But still it doesn't feel good. it always makes you wonder what if no one else had been around? And stuff like that

[inamorata]

No I was never raped, or forced into sexual activity. In real life only know of one girl who has.

[Slavanna]

I was molested by my grandfather as an infant, but not raped. don't know if that counts.

[catguy]

wow thats just sick! im sorry :(

[dudeman]

how do you remember that? were you told or are you one of those people that remembers everything from a young age?

[Slavanna]

A mix of the two. I hear that ever since he started taking care of me when my mom went back to school, I became sulky and unresponsive. Also, I remember being petrified around him, especially when he would touch me near the belly or kiss me on the forehead. I actually only put two and two together when I went into therapy over my severe bouts of depression.

[dudeman]

so you actually dont know then. i think maybe you shouldn't slander your grandpas name on a theory.

[Slavanna]

The one thing I know is that he's a disgusting human being and he definitely did something really bad to me back then. I don't have proof, but I just know it.

[masterignacio]

What a sick fuck.

[SaVes]

Luckily no, but I know plenty of women who have.

[SaVes]

I get downvoted for saying I have never been forced to do something sexual? Is this a fucking joke?

[Stacyzee]

Don't worry about it. Some people just love to down vote. I can say the sky is blue and still receive a thumbs down.

[Willow4]

I got down voted for saying I had. Seems like you can't win either way :/

[SaVes]

This is seriously concerning.

[abundantlyrich]

plus one, that should level it up.

[PT1911]

+1from the male side

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

No thats rape

[xPoison]

Never.

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[princesswitch]

I was by an ex-boyfriend once, and I was held down and groped by a group of boys in high school. I know many other women who have also been raped and/or molested.

[Mesonfielde]

Dafuq.

[rgb008]

Never, thankfully.

[dudeman]

rape isn't as common as people want to believe, when they do actual studies its shown that only about 1-1870 univeristy women will experience rape in all college. i agree with anon. most of the time women just dont know how to say no.

[Willow4]

You're going on 'stats' that are SO inaccurate it's not funny. Do you realise how many women actually come forward when they've been raped? I'll wager less than half. I also recall myself shouting no for the majority of the 4 hours I was raped. It winds me up when people who haven't been through sexual abuse think they can tell people who have what they should have done or that everything they did was wrong. You try going through it and we'll all sit and tell you what YOU did that was so wrong.

[dudeman]

you are one person. these are not my stats they are studies done of chicago universities over about a ten year time span. nobody ever said anything about your situation or real rape. stop projecting

[Willow4]

Then stop talking about stuff you don't know about. You might aswell be talking to me specifically because it affects me. Stop trying to defend men who force themselves on people cos that's sure as hell what you sound like. The only credit I'm giving you is that unlike anon you seem to have somewhat of a pair to be able to not post anonymously.

[dudeman]

well I've read the research. nobody is defending rapist, stop projecting. you are in denial of reality. when women says no that usually means they need more foreplay. when they actually say no its a little more obvious then a no. like no im serious im not into it right now. no just no. I've had women say no no, then i stopped and she tells me dont stop put my condom on. again nobody is defending rapist. you just seem to be naive of the literature as well as poor reading comprehension.

[Willow4]

You are just a joke..and I'm actually suprised you can get a woman with your retarded approach to life. I've faced reality head on especially with dicks like you. The fact that you're getting to foreplay usually means a woman is interested, if she says no to something you're doing then stop, she might just not like it or want something else. Your problem is obviously that you're too thick to be able to read a woman's reaction to what you're doing. If she keeps saying no and you're forcing yourself..stop. God do you really need this all spelling to you?

[dudeman]

I've never raped anybody and why are you shamming? lol me being able to differentiate between the know means i know what women want. i was giving you an example from when i was 18 and actually thought no always meant no. lol i dont need anything from an emotionally charged lady like yourself. your emotions are getting in the way of your logic.

[Willow4]

No does mean no. What part of that is difficult? I just don't think some people respect how scary as hell being raped is, because if they did they wouldn't spout shit about the technicalities of how or when you say no. You should be able to tell very very clearly when a woman doesn't want sex, and if you can't...well I don't know what kind of relationships you have. I'm emotionally charged because I've been hurt several times very badly, naturally this is something I'm passionate about.

[TheHoneyBadger]

The stats I've heard are 1 in 4 women are sexually assaulted in college, but the vast majority go unreported because assholes like you assume that it never happens and that girls lie about it. Not that you've done it, but you clearly contribute to the societal view that this isn't nearly as much of a problem as people make it out to be. Sexual assault and rape are a huge problem in this country and nothing is going to change if people continue saying otherwise.

[dudeman]

no does not always mean no. simple as that.like i said yes you should be able to tell when a women doesn't want sex. when they want sex they sometimes say no. if no always means no then i have raped multiple women multiple times a piece, hell hundreds of times a piece. so if i raped them why would they come to my house again just to be raped again? that makes no sense.

[Willow4]

Omg you're so thick I'm not even going to reply to this. They come back because they want sex. If they say no there is another reason for it, rape is not wanting sex so they wouldn't come back for me. Geez read up on the defintion of rape why don't you O.o

[dudeman]

exactly so no doesn't always mean not. thanks for agreeing with me

[Willow4]

Just shut up and go back to working out what rape is...it'll take you long enough.

[rthomas43]

You're a fucking scumbag. I truly wish someone takes your life in a degrading and painful manner.

[Willow4]

I'm not gracing your recent comment with an answer. You're a very sick man.

[dudeman]

lol how am i sick for being concerned about you not being raped again. als thom no im not a scumbag but you wishing death on somebody whos done nothing wrong makes you a scumbag

[Folklore]

Lol, I didn't agree with everything dudeman had said, but that doesn't mean he didn't have any valid points. I just feel like you came on this site, asked for opinions, and then started insulting people with opinions that didn't match your own. It sucks that you were raped (if it's true). Either go see a therapist and quit bugging people online about it, or accept what the online community (that you asked) says. At the end of the day, the majority of the people you don't know don't care you were raped. So if I were you I'd seek professional help. And rthomas, what's with the put downs man? you really think he's a scumbag? Again same goes for you, is everyone with differing opinions from your own a scumbag?

[Willow4]

I've seen a therapist and actually the problem with people not caring is exactly why rape is as common as it is. People don't care about others feelings, their rights, their bodies. People have become indifferent. How would you feel if it was your mother, sister, gf? It's only when if effects you that people start to give a toss. I don't appreciate being made out to be a freak or a liar. Incase you hadn't noticed, look at the posts this guy has left to other women...it's hurtful and tactless considering some people on here have been hurt. I don't want to continue this, I'm kind of upset and I don't appreciate being called a liar after some of the things I've had to go through.

[rthomas43]

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but saying "work on not getting raped again" makes someone a scumbag. If you try to defend his reasoning for saying it, you're a troll or an idiot.

[Folklore]

you lost all credibility when you wished death upon him. And willow, his profile is private so unless you guys are following each other you can't really see all the "hurtful" comments he has left other girls. Sooo, yeah, I'm kind of left to believe you're lying about that. And btw, everyone has issues that nobody cares about. Thats why there's so much suicide in the world. Suicide is probably the saddest thing ever conceived. I don't care about most peoples problems however that doesn't make me an evil person. If someone is feeling suicidal im more than willing to talk to them about their issues. Seriously if you're just about there im willing to talk to you about your problems. But if you can tough it out then i encourage you to do so. again i didn't call you a liar, i only questioned your integrity

[TheNewClassic]

Fortunately never.

[douride2]

The worst thing about rape is most times the victim knows their assailant.

[dudeman]

the things that some studies consider rape are not rape. the 1-4 statistic includes things like have you been drinking. they count any women who has had a beer and agreed to sex as being raped as well as them just regretting the experience. if a women regrets consensual sex they count that as rape too.

[douride2]

If I guy doesn't know he's raping a woman then is it really rape. Your a piece of work dudeman.

[PT1911]

This took a while to figure out how to say, as I don't want anyone misinterpreting it and yelling at me. First to all the wonderful ladies here that said they were forced to commit a sexual act and/or were raped, I'm sorry, no one should have to go through that. Second, I feel like a lot of women (at least in my age group) are very naive. One of my friends studied abroad a couple of years ago and was sexually assault. Long story short, I am spending a semester abroad in Spain with my University, and since I have an extensive background in Martial Arts, and have helped teach many sexual assault prevention classes as well as self defense classes. From January to May, I studied abroad with 13 people, 9 of them women. We went out to clubs etc, but I was always sure that none of the women in my group would go through what my friend had.Out of those 9, only 2 thanked me for looking out for them. The rest called me out after a few outings, sarcastically and naively and said "Why are you so protective, do you think they are going to rape us?" To which I responded "Yes, that is exactly it. Until proven otherwise" Maybe I did overstep, but still, it just bugged me that they thought absolutely nothing bad can happen, when there were plenty of guys ready to take advantage of them.That's what I mean by naive. The main takeaway I guess is it is never the victim's fault, never, I am not one of those guys that says it's her fault, but at the same time, take measures to be sure you are safe.

[douride2]

I wish I had a friend like you looking out for me all those years ago.

[PT1911]

I'm sorry to hear that. The other thing I want to point out (again, formulating words carefully as to not be misinterpreted) a lot of the women here say that it was done by someone they know. This is the worst, as it breaks your trust and faith in other men. BE VERY CLEAR WHEN YOU SAY NO. Don't be afraid to push them back, and after you leave, cut them off from your life. Men like that (not even men, more like boys) think they can get away with it, because well, they have gotten away with it before, which is very sad. And as far as my story on this subject, I do not personally know anyone that has been raped, sexually assaulted yes, but raped, no. Even so, the concept is the same. You do not have to be afraid

[Drast]

The definition of rape has become extremely loose. For those of you who were legitimately raped, Im sorry that you had to go through that, but nowadays so many women claim rape even if it was consensual. Many innocent men go to jail. There was even a woman who claimed a man "visually raped" her when he looked at her on the subway. These "rape" stories have gotten out of hand.

[Anonymous]

i have been forced on a first date, it was a physical struggle and i firmly said no.
i do not usually tell people this and i don't need attention.

[Anonymous]

No...I wasn't thankfully...but was probably close to it...had a stalker and he threatened me and wanted me to meet him in a dark parking lot at midnight...I later learned from my BF that it was right by the rape trail at the university I was going to...

[Anonymous]

I have.

But it happens to a lot of guys, too - especially kids. :(

[dudeman]

actually. more men are raped then women

[Anonymous]

Yes I have been. It was a 'friend' in college and I was naive enough to believe he could never do anything against my will. It was real hard to deal with it but I'm quite okay nowadays.

[Anonymous]

in some cases, girls usually think they were forced but the truth is they werent, cause they didn't know how to deal with the situation. or know how to just say NO!

[douride2]

Yea right when a couple of guys hold you down rape, brutalize you all the while your kicking and screaming. They don't get the idea that means no?

[princesswitch]

oh MY god shut the entire fuck up wow

[PT1911]

Grow a sack and don't go anon if you're going to say something like that.

[Opinion Owner]

yes i know that but i was referring to girls who aren't force like that and just give in and end up regretting it and girls who are stupid to not avoid them situations in the first place

[Willow4]

Men like you are just as bad as rapists. Cowardly. Which is all the more evident by the fact that you couldn't tell us all your moronic opinion without going anon.

[dudeman]

anon you are correct. if a man doesn't know he's raping a chick, then is it really rape? sometimes no does mean try harder. i would say that it means try harder more often then it means no.

[Opinion Owner]

whats anon have to do with anything, and i dont have anything in common with a rapist for being afraid, and you dont know me, like one time when i was young i asked a girl that was a friend if i can see and touch her (explore her body) and she said no and i said its ok and i respected her and never bothered her about it than later i was victimized and judged as a rapist just for asking, and im afraid of girls now because of it

[AchingSoul24]

I think there was a misunderstanding here about your opinion and the way you said it but I don’t think you meant to blame girls for the rape they endure. You’re not the same as a rapist nor do you hold the same values but you merely stated your opinion. However, it would have been better if you had chosen your words just a little wiser because these are strong words (especially for abuse/rape victims.) But I think its wrong that some said that you are now “the same as a rapist…” that was unnecessary.

[Opinion Owner]

thank you :) now i can stop crying, im not good with wording things right i get that a lot

[AchingSoul24]

Yeah that’s the thing, sometimes we end up wording things wrong and then people take us totally the wrong way- happened to me a lot. I just really didn’t like how some were lashing out on you all of a sudden because honestly sometimes we don’t mean to come off the way we did and we’re taken the wrong way. I had to say something. Hey, I hope your not really crying!! :(

[Opinion Owner]

you must be a beautiful angel looking out for me, yes i was crying still am a little maybe you felt it

[TheHoneyBadger]

No means no. Plain and simple. If a girl says no and you continue to do it, that is sexual assault by every legal definition. In fact, a girl doesn't have to say no for it to be sexual assault. Anything done without receiving a freely given yes (freely given as in not through intimidation, not drunk, etc) can be sexual assault. I'm not saying you need to ask before you do anything at all with a girl. I'm not saying you should never be intimate with a girl that's been drinking. I'm saying as a guy, you need to be careful, respect those you're with, and realize you are walking a very dangerous line any time you do something she says no to. If that means not sleeping with someone because they might regret it and accuse you of something in the morning, then keep in in your pants and find someone else.

[AchingSoul24]

We should all be able to agree on one thing: Rape is entirely the man’s fault and almost all of the time, even though the girl does say no, and even though she resists she is taken against her will. These girls do know how to say no and unfortunately the sadistic men who rape cannot take no for an answer. As for the opinion that anonymous posted, he has clearly said that he is not good at wording things and so everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes we say things in a certain way and mean a certain thing and others take us completely the wrong way. Let’s pardon each other, shall we? We all make mistakes… let’s forgive each other and move on. Much love, respect, and support to all the rape victims. God bless you all and give your beautiful souls peace and rest from the evil you endured. I love you all so much <3

[PT1911]

To whoever you are sir, I apologize for what I said earlier, it's just a lot of people here who go anon say some of the worst things possible and hide behind it.

[Opinion Owner]

its ok im better now thanks :)

[Anonymous]

Twice by 2 different friends. didn't bother me though, never did. It pissed other people more than it did to me. I did what i can. It happened because i was young and stupid. They were young too, they thought i was being playful like always. But its the past, shit happens.