Sexual Relationships
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My boyfriend said I'm too fat that he could be attracted to me when we were making love. I feel terrible?

I've been seeing my boyfriend for like 4 months now. I was depressed because of something that happened to me a while ago, and two months ago I was put on anti-depressants. I don't if it's because of them (my doctor suspects it, anyway) but the thing is I've gained weight a lot. 25 pounds in two months. I feel so bad about it already. We were making love with my boyfriend yesterday night, and the lights were off. In the morning he started to do it again and put the blanket away. It was light already and he was looking at my body, then he just said "I'm sorry, I can't get hard. I'm not attracted to you because you're so fat." It felt so bad I started to cry and locked myself in the bathroom. First he tried to ask me to come back but then he just left and said he can't take me being so sensitive. He knows that I'm on anti-depressants, feel really self conscious already about gaining and it's not like I'm pigging out every night at the couch or something... I try to exercise and eat healthy like I used to before. I don't know what to do... i've just been crying the whole day and I think I can never again be naked in front of him, it hurted so much to hear I'm unattractive and fat in his eyes...
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Oh honey, you better dump the dude. Actually not just that.. You better beat him at his own game. What kind of decent guy would full on tell his girlfriend or any girl for that matter that she was fat and it's impossible to be turned on by her. First of all I'm sure it's not true, bigger girls can be attractive because it's sometimes perceived as curvy. However you should lose weight if it makes you feel happy, but never do it for the pleasure of your stupid boyfriend. Sweetie you better make sure you make him feel as insecure as you do because it is completely inhuman how he has the odacity to insult his girlfriend about her weight while she's on anti depressants. What a prick. What you have to do is make him feel insecure about his penis size and tell him it's small. Tell all his friends guys and girls that you had to dump him because of this. Guys so they can make fun and girls so he has less chances of finding some one. Then you will be equal cause I and yourself should refuse to take this bullshit from a prick like your boyfriend. In months lose the weight, date a hottie and rub it in your boyfriends face. It isn't necessary for you to lose weight because you still beat him at his own weight but if you feel you should lose weight then I reccomend you watch a really good and long tv series and treadmill while you do it. It's honestly the best and just cut down a little on the food. Make sure to dump this prick and best of luck honey x

  • Firstly, Get rid of him!
    I'm sure you a very beautiful woman, so what if you've gained a few pounds, it's easily lost and if he can't see that he's an idiot. For the sensitive part how could not be sensitive when you're both supposed to be in a relationship and are giving yourselves to one another for him to turn around and call you names, I'm sure anyone's confidence would completely go at that moment. Calling a woman fat during sex is possible the worst thing he could do and he is not worth your time... You should concentrate on yourself more and do things you love and maybe a nice guy will find you and not have a care in the world as too what you look like. He'll just like you for being you because believe it we exist it's not all about looks. You deserve to be happy! :D

    • Thank you, your comment made me feel a lot better :) I kind of thought I deserved his comment though it wasn't the best situation to say it... but I've noticed he's quite selfish in lot of things

    • Glad it helped you feel a little better! "I kind of thought I deserved his comment" Nobody deserves being called fat, especially if there going through a hard time but from someone you're in a relationship with doing it.. It's disgusting, it's pretty much saying he only wanted you for your body I have no respect for men like this.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Wow! Get rid of this jerk right now. You are in a vulnerable place and you don't need this tool bringing you down. He needs to be more understanding.

    I'm really sorry this happened to you. I really hope you don't believe him. If sounds like he doesn't understand what you are going through at all.

    • you are not overly sensitive at all. He's just a complete jerk. You can do so much better.

  • He sounds like a complete asshole to me. No guy should EVER say something like that and you aren't being overly sensitive at all. You should talk to him about how that made you feel.

    • Maybe I should try to talk about it. It just felt so humiliating I don't really feel like discussing it :/

    • Yeah, if nothing else you need to explain to him that it isn't acceptable to say things like that to you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 8

  • Someone who actually cared about you could have found a way to address your weight issue in a sensitive and caring way. This guy clearly only cares about himself, and now that he's revealed that to you, you need to kick him to the curb and don't look back. You can do much better for yourself.

    • I just really like him :( But I think I can never feel attractive and desired again, so that's a problem...

  • He can't take you being so sensitive? You were naked and completely exposed in front of him and he called you fat. You weren't being sensitive, he was just being an amazingly huge dick. I don't think anyone would blame you if you can never be naked in front of him again, what he did probably left a scar on your self-esteem.

    Honestly I'd leave the asshole and find someone who can actually respect your feelings. Just keep on improving yourself through exercise, nutrition, etc. and I'm sure you'll be fine.

    ... Seriously if my girlfriend was vulnerable and everything like that it would kill me inside to call her fat and totally stab her through the heart like what he did.

    • That's exactly the thing, I was laying naked there and he just basically wrecked me, or at least that's how i felt... I've never been too confident about my body and I've been actually more depressed because of my weight gain than the actual reason I got the medicine... My doctor is changing it now, however. He said the one I first got is really known of weight gain side effect but usually it's not that significant that I had. And I don't think I could have eaten so much that's why I gained. Maybe a little bit more unhealthy than usually but not like junk all the time or anything... He's really into fitness and I understand theoritically he's not attracted to me but there could be nicer ways to say that. I mean he could like work out with me or something... But I'm in love with him and I don't know what to do... I think I can never sleep with him anymore without remembering what he said, though :'(

    • You were vulnerable and he really did just stab you through, and things like that will leave emotional scars. But I don't know the guy and if you want to try to work through it with him that's definitely not impossible. Really tell him how hurt that made you feel, because if he doesn't realize that it was wrong he's probably going to do it again. He needs to understand that you were hurt and what he did was wrong. Everyone has their down times, your partner should be supporting you and helping you through them, not making them worse. Seriously though, if he's not attracted to you anymore because you gained 25 pounds I'd seriously reconsider what kind of person you're with. You're not going to be young and beautiful forever.

  • So, yeah, leave him. Easy enough.

  • You didn't deserve to be disrespected like that. What he said was really petty and mean. And you learned, very painfully, something important about how he is. You could be having a metabolic reaction to the antidepressant that accounts for your weight gain. Maybe a different medication wouldn't cause that.

  • Wow, just wow. If he said that, he's definetly not right for you. Go find yourself someone that deserves you! This guy is an a-hole without doubt.

  • Sensitive is crying over a cowlick. You weren't sensitive he's just a useless asshole not worthy of having a woman.

  • well if he says it that harsh, it´s time to leave that prick... honestly, if he is so mean and reckless, he doesn´t deserve you or any gf at all.

  • I agree with MrZeus on getting rid of him. Basically the way I see it he just used you for the sex and doesn't appreciate you for who you are. Now if you really do like this guy try to work it out and when you go to work out get his fat ass off the couch and make him workout with you too. I bet that in a couple of years that you would be the one saying I am sorry but I can't get horny because you are too fat and he would be in the bathroom crying.

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