Moaning During Sex: Why does she want me to stop?

[Anonymous]

Hey, me and my GF of 6 months were having sex yesterday when she told me to shut up. Completely ruined the moment and I didn't get off. I do moan and all that; just bc I like sex with her that much! Apparently I'm not suppose to do that and I sound to feminine for her taste (what she told me). Dk if I can really be myself around her anymore. I like her a lot. She's older and more experienced, which is a huge turn on for me. But damn. She really embarrassed me with her words and it's hard to look at her the the same now. Just want to get a female perspective. Why is she being a bitch?

[TheoryOfAvarice]

Wow, that sucks. Personally I love to hear my boyfriend moan when we have sex. It doesn't have to be constant or loud or anything like that, and in fact he's not super noisy, but the moans and sounds he does make from time to time really turn me on.

If she doesn't like it and thinks it's feminine.. well I'm not sure what to say to be honest. Maybe ask her if there's something you could do differently, that you're just trying to express how much you're enjoying yourself. I don't know though, if my boyfriend told me to shut up during sex I'd be pretty put off.

[Asker]

I should clarify. She didn't specifically say shut up. She just asked me to stop doing it. Same thing. And she said it in a cold manner that's very unusual for her. Yes it was a huge turn off.

[moistycakes]

"Bitch" is a bit harsh I think. Obviously she's not keen on the noises, which I don't understand because I love hearing my boyfriend moan, it's so much hotter than a silent guy! If the moans are like ape noises or constant throughout the entire time it may be a bit of a turn off. I would be crushed if my boyfriend told me to shut up during sex.. Maybe it was a bad day for her? I would just casually ask her what that was about, kind of seems unreasonable to me and that she approached it wrong.

[Hannah591]

You do not deserve your girlfriend if you're happy to go around calling her a bitch and turning everything around on her. She obviously finds your groaning a turn off so she told you to be quiet, she's not being a bitch because she doesn't like it.

[Asker]

She is being Cold then; instead of a "bitch" bc she said it wo even thinking about the impact. Made my heart drop and it will be hard to get over.

[MaskedSanity]

Um, excuse me, but if a guy said that, everyone would be up in arms over how a girl can't control how she feels, moaning is a natural response, blah blah blah. She IS being a bitch. What kind of loving partner just goes ahead and drops such a rude remark during sex? She has effectively crushed his confidence and now he'll probably be self concious because of her nasty delivery. What stopped her from expressing her distaste for male moaning AFTER sex, in a POLITE manner? She deserved her title.

[Asker]

Couldn't agree more! Huge blow to my confidence.

[truthbeknown]

I don't think it was the moaning, I think it was because you sounded too feminine. If you sounded at all like a woman, (sorry, not trying to be rude), I can understand her point. I have watched a lot of p0rn, and to be honest there are some that moan in an annoying way. There tone, pattern, pitch, or whatever. We all like to moan and love to hear it, (when it isn't annoying). Try to remember how you sounded and maybe try a deeper tone next time. Or instead of moaning, use dirty words!

[Blondiee2014]

I'm not very vocal when I'm in bed but I get turned on from my partners moaning, maybe you was being louder than her and she wanted to be the more vocal one :p