Guys: Would you rather your gf A. Give you a hj before she's ready, then not try it again for a while? B. Wait till she's sure ready to try?

[Anonymous]

I gave my bf a hj bc i didn't want him to think i was not attracted to him, but i got uncomfortable after i started. i finished but i really am not ready to do that again for a while.. would it have been better to not do it at all till im 100% ready? i have never had any experience with anything sexual prior to meeting him. weve been going out one week. up until tonight just kissed. he didn't pressure me in any way. i just thought it'd be nice to make him feel good and he was really hard so i thought it was the right thing... but it was definitely way too soon for me. which would be better. to try then stop till im ready. or to just wait till im ready. ( i dont mean stop during. i men take a break for a few weeks. ) i know hell be understanding. i just want to know what is the less crushing way, for future reference in case there's other stuff im not sure about , but think i might be. should i be more careful about experimenting and only do things when i think i can keep doing it regularly?

[147703]

My advice would be to tell him all of this. Tell him you think you need to take things slow, if he's really with you for the right reasons it shouldn't bother him one bit. Only do things when you feel ready to do so, there is no rush at all. You have complete control over your sex life and can do whatever whenever you want, just because you do something once, does not in any way mean you should be expected to do it again. Just tell him that even though you were happy to do it, that you're still a little uncomfortable and it may not happen every time you start making out, if he can't respect it then he's not worth it anyways, although from what you've said he will be completely understanding. :) good luck!

[Asker]

Thank you. that helped a lot. And yes i know hell be super sweet about it.. i just wasn't sure if i should be feeling guilty about that. like im going to give him a complex or something. or im jerking him around if unintentionally. though funny thing is, now that I've had time to see it on screen... if i read a post like this id likely say something similar to hat you said to me.. i guess bc its wise and pretty much should be universally understood common sense.:) i guess i wanted to see iif it was a common view even if it should be. thank you for your response:)

[147703]

No worries at all! Sometimes it's just nice to hear your own thoughts validated :) But yeah I don't think you'll have any troubles at all. Tell him everything, that you're feeling a little guilty, that you're worried he'll think your not interested, I think he'll appreciate the honesty and how genuine you are being with him :) I hope everything works out for you guys :) it sounds like you've found a good one!

[Asker]

Thank you very much. i think he is definitely a good one. Im 22 and never wanted anyone before i met him, and i knew right away ow i felt... so he must be special...

[147703]

Well when you know, you know :) That's great, and I'm sure things will go well for you both :)

[stevie123]

There is nothing wrong with experimenting or making your guy feel good. But you should feel good about making him feel good. If you feel that you need to wait, just tell him you are inexperienced, and want to take it slow, but want him, and you will do more when comfortable about it. I have a feeling that after a couple of more makeout sessions like you describe, it won't take long for you to get into the groove.

[Asker]

Thank you. that helped a lot, And i hope you're right. :)

[Anonymous]

Choice B, because I don't want her to feel uncomfortable

[Asker]

thanks, its really nice to hear that. :)