Sexual Relationships
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Why can't I make my boyfriend cum? And how can I tell my boyfriend to be more gentle when we engage in sexual behavior?

I gave him a blow job yesterday and after at least 20 minutes he couldn't cum. All that came was pre cum. He said he did not masturbate for over 2 weeks and I feel like I did a bad job. Even though he said I was really good I just feel terrible at not being able to satisfy him. He told me it was because he was in an uncomfortable position (we did it outside in the nature where people couldn't see us), but I don't know. Can anyone give me tips on how to satisfy my boyfriend? Also, on a side note, how do I tell my boyfriend to be more gentle when he fingers me and touches me? My nipples are sore and my vagina hurts a lot after he fingered me with 4 fingers. I have never been stretched like that and it sometimes hurts to walk. Not to mention he hurt my feelings when he said I was loose, even though I'm a virgin.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • He probably just wasn't in the mood. I've fooled around in a park before and even thought it was fun I couldn't focus on actually allowing myself to be fully pleasures because of paranoia of getting caught or someone watching. It's public ya know lol. As for his fingering tell him right away if it hurts, you must teach him how to please, when I started being sexual I had to learn communication is everything and most are willing to learn. Four fingers... that might be too much unless you like it got for it but why not two? And him saying your loose... Even thought you're a virgin. He needs some education. Having lots of sex never makes you loose ever. the vagina is a muscle if you're loose that means your vagina is relaxed and ready for him which is great if it's super tight then your not aroused and comfortable.

    • Maybe he had the fear of getting caught. I had the paranoia too and kept telling him I didn't feel comfortable to do it in public. And i'll inform him soon. 4 fingers is too much and I felt pleasured but in some pain. After he took it out it felt more painful and numb. Maybe i'm not used to it.

    • Yeah that was most likely the reason. Yes if he didn't listen then then you definitely need to have a talk with him. Well no of course not he should ease into it start with one or two not Four! Lol

    • I talked to him about it and he said that in the heat of the moment I told him to put in three. Even I don't finger myself with three, only 2.

  • There really can't be a way to give a "bad blowjob" unless you bit him. But try using more spit and hand work while sucking the tip with occasionally sucking further down. 20 minutes of head? You're the real MVP. Any reason he couldn't cum is mist likely on him.
    As for the pain - nearly any time someone other than myself fingers me it hurts like hell. Using too many fingers, jamming straight in and out, not enough lubrication either natural or synthetic, or sharp nails. All of that contributes to possible pain.
    Hope things work out for you!

    • You don't have a penis, so you can't male statements like "There really can't be a way to give a 'bad blowjob'" lol

    • I didn't bite him. I even apologized when I felt like I did. I did use a lot of spit and a lot of hand work. My sore jaw and hand are my proof. He did use too many fingers, he went too fast and hard, and he did have pretty long nails (but he has pretty manly hands). I was wet enough for everything so that wasn't a problem. Thanks for the tips though! Much appreciated.

  • i have some pretty useful tips and there are way to many to put on here so message me and i can spill the dirt ;)

Most Helpful Guys

  • Keep the fingers to one or two max. And tell him to slow down. Just slide in slowly and massage the inside.
    I don;t know what he did to make your boobs sore, but cut it out. Just tell him, he sounds inexperienced.
    He is quite uncaring saying that you were loose. He just stretched you, you were tight, as evidenced by your pain. As for MR wonderful, ask him what feels best for him. Sucking the head while pumping the base should work. Caress his balls gently, as you suck. Location is important as a distraction can delay cum. If the outside was a good place, next time bring a blanket and pillow. That should help.
    I also recommend 69 position, then you both can feel the pleasure.
    When you are sucking him, let him play with your boobs (gently) that always gets me going.

    • He sucked on my breast too much. He is inexperienced and I was his first, so I don't blame him. But they hurt a lot and the nipple was bleeding quite a bit. I think he gave my a hickey right on my breast. I did tell him that I'm not loose but he won't believe me. I feel really embarrassed now and even more shy about my body. I did all that you explained. Maybe it was just the location. He promised next time to do it in his bed. And i'll take your 69 as a recommendation

    • I've sucked a few boobs and never made one bleed. I gave booby hickies too, without breaking the skin. Let them heal up, and next time just have him lick them. He is still a jerk for the loose comment, but I might let it slide because he doesn't know what he is talking about. NO more 3-4 finger jobs.

    • haha yes ill tell him to keep it at 2 fingers. and i'll let myself heal. it's pretty painful to touch now

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  • Blowjob- He either wasn't in a sexual mood to begin with, or your blowjob skills are slightly lacking.

    And as far as him hurting you, just tell him! No girl should be in pain (unwanted pain) during anything sexual.

    Also, he called you loose? Sounds like your boyfriend is an asshole.

    • he was in a very sexual mood but I guess you might be right. My skills are bad. also, he meant it in a joking way but I felt pretty hurt because I'm really shy about someone touching me down there.

    • Didn't even see your age beforehand, you're young! Don't worry, almost all girls are weak at giving blowjobs early on. It is definitely a skill that you will pick up over time. Also, some guys just don't cum easily from blowjobs. I thoroughly enjoy blowjobs, but a girl has to give extremely good head to be able to get me to cum.

    • I guess I'm young but this is the age everyone stars to discover themselves, more or less. I'm still virgin though, which I will keep until I'm 19. I guess you're right. Practice makes perfect haha. And I guess you're right. I was his first though, which makes me feel really bad at pleasing someone.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I would message you, but i don't know you. So message me and i'll tell you everything. (:

  • 4 fingers? Is he trying to dig his way to China? Wtf..

    • Have a talk to him about him hurting you. Just simply tell him exactly what you said in your question. As for bj there isn't much advice I can give. If he didn't finish it could be for a number of reasons, but regardless of them, unless you pretty much made him nervous that you'd bite his dick off, it's his fault for not finishing.

    • I'll talk to him about hurting me as soon as we meet face to face. I want to take a break from any sexual contact anyways. I feel sore all over and any more touching would make it worse. And, well, I didn't do anything bad when I blew him. I just might be bad, even though he was moaning a lot and I tried every technique I could think of.

  • I know why he didn't come. His balls haven't dropped yet. It's okay hun.

  • The hell, if you was my child I'll beat you with the belt... Talking about blow jobs. You should be helping your mom with chores and watching cartoons.

    • Well I am 17. I'm kind of old for cartoons and I do my chores. I don't do drugs and I've never had sex before. This was my first time also. Thank god I'm not your child. I was beaten before to the point of being bruised and having to lie to the school nurses about injuring myself.

    • You only get away just because your one year from being 18... Imma let you slide. I've seen 13 years old talking about BJ.. So excuse me

    • Woah when I was 13 all I ever talked about was my love for pokemon and horses. Haha I was a very innocent little girl back then and not a pretty one either, so maybe thats why I've lasted so long to be a good girl.

  • well lets see. find a different boyfriend because he is syco nut. no man should treat you like that and if he can't get off with a bj its him not you. hell a man could get off thinking about a bj

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