Sexual Relationships
+1 y

But my bf has a small penis!!! Is this really my fault or his?

my bf has a small penis like (4.5 inches tops on hard) he wnts sex constantly. & though i really have no interest in it (bc im never pleased unless i rub myself against him, use some type of vibrator or have to be ate out for a hour plus) i still give in when i have to and let him get his out when he whines about it bc i know how men are with sexual frustration and he turns into a monster! But here's the thing! I dont enjoy it! Bc im never pleased and i dread having to have sex with him!!! I love him to death!! Weve been together 6 years!!! & though im sexually frustrated to no end!! I've remained faithful to him and push myself to look past it bc sex isn't everything if u love a person right? I put my sexual wants behind me & i still support him, love him and treat him right! But he seriously fights me once ever 2 weeks about why i dont want sex! smh and he goes as far as to say smart shit like he's going to say he should "break up with me" or fuck someone else bc i dont ever want it! I never try and make him feel bad about his "issue" but seriously dude! I've been loyal 6 years and I've honestly have not had a single orgasm that wasn't vibrated induced! Am i really at fault here? or is he crazy? bc im seriously ready to end this were too old for this smh im 23 and he's 27!
Updates:
+1 y
To everyone saying i should of told him I've been very open with him bc i belive a relationship should be based on honesty. No i didn't say your too small bc he repeats that daily himself and i always try life his confident back up!
+1 y
But i did tell him that i wasn't being pleased and he said he understood bc both his exs cheated on him bc of that ! but he's not trying to work with me just blame me for the no sex drive! and we have a kid so its harder
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Being sexually frustrated is no fun when you're with someone, because you need to feel the satisfaction from that person rather it coming from yourself. This isn't the best situation because it's not as easy as giving suggestions, and I wouldn't want to hurt your boyfriend's feelings about the issue too, but what sucks is when we don't want to hurt someone's self-esteem even when the issue also affects us. I'm sure he's aware that you aren't satisfied with the sex or suspect it, you could try this sex position to see if it helps if you haven't already. But honestly this relationship is going to go south unless something gives in as being said. You'd have to just let him know you aren't satisfied with the sex, and hint to him in away if not tell him why.

    Here's a position you could try, hope it helps
    www.wewomen.com/.../...sex-positions-22365552.html

    • thank you! id def look into that position !

    • No prob, I've done damage with that position and had to be careful with it haha so if it makes a girl feel that much more shallow (like I had to be careful not to hit her cervix if she's not warmed up to me yet), then it could help him get closer to you.

  • whatever you do don't tell him that his dick is so small he can't make you cum. something like that will forever shread any self-confidence and manhood that he's ever had. hearing something like that from a girl would seriously make me never want to pull my dick out in front of a girl ever again. I can't tell you how sensitive guys are when it comes to that issue. But have you tried other things that you like? Oral for example? Fingering? Just anything that help put you over the top? But I also understand where he's coming from because honestly if I had a gf that refused to sleep with me that would make me feel like shit like she didn't even like me so why is she even with me?

    • Yeah i would never just flat out say anything about it bc i already know by the way he talks about it being small how sensitive he is on it! which is why i tried to overlook the issue and not be as messed up as his exs have been about it. And i do sleep with him, he just gets mad bc i dont have a high sex drive like him... but how can you when u dont get to go smh

    • whats smh mean?

    • oh sorry its stands for shaking my head

Most Helpful Girls

  • I AM SO SORRY. I know its been 6 long years but not ONE ORGASM? Look sex is a big part of a relationship, its what brings you closer and makes you comfortable with your partner. You should have been honest with him from the start maybe he would've tried something different you know. But props to you for being faithful because you are missing out on one of the best feelings in the world. You deserve good sex. Just start seeing all the things you hate about him and eventually break up. Or you could tell him the truth but.. then he'd realize you've been lyong for six years. But anyways im sorry. Good luck.

    • yes its been a very long 6 years smh lol and thank you! I've been open and told him that i dont go & that i would like to try other things bc i would like to have a orgasm soley from just sex minus the vibrator smh but he's very in one ear and out the other smh he "tries" but its not like he does anything different smh but thank you !

    • No problem! I read your other comments about how he blames you? Wtf? He is so perfect that it can't possibly be him? He is so wrong. You have been way too good about this. I hope you decide to leave him. You have to be happy to have a happy relationship. I hope you find someone.

    • oopsiepoopsies u r too shallow don't try to spread your fucking shit. if she doen't orgasm it's her fault. she should go to a doctor. most women don't orgasm or very seldom bcoz of less testosterone. tell her to rub her clit as she fucks him.

    • Show All

  • Dump him you can do better, you might love him but do you really wanna live with a man for the rest of your life who can't give you an orgasm and threatens to fuck other women? If a man wrote this question all the guys would be lining up to say cheat on her or dump her because she can't give you what you want so do the same you deserve to have pleasure too you're not a sex slave only there for him to basically masturbate himself with. 6 years is way too long to not be given pleasure

    • By do the same I mean leave him don't cheat, cheating is the lowest of the low

    • yeahh... i think that may be the best thing smh I've just been trying to overlook it for our daughters sake and tell myself sex isn't everything smh but clearly it is to him so i should move along as well smh and yea, no i would never cheat bc i know how it feels to be cheated on smh

  • You're right sex isn't everything in a relationship but it's a big part of it. I would've broken up a long time ago. You both deserve someone that is on your level sexually. Good on you though for lasting so long with bad sex.

    • @kittykatg it’s her fault for not communicating you can’t put this all on the guy

  • This question really almost made me laugh I feel bad but I'm so sorry... 😂

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 20

  • i would just break up with him. sorry but im not gonna be miserable for 6 years for a guy who i dont even wanna have sex with and has the nerve to threaten to cheat

    • @pr3ttybr0wn it seems like she has sensitivity issues though cause 4.5 is an average to above average penis in several places in the world, and it’s not like Asian women are way tighter than western women…

  • I'm going to go against everyone else on this one. It would be one thing to end the relationship before a child was produced. It is quite another to come out and tell someone that they don't deserve to live with their own child because their dick is small and to make your child live without their father because their father's dick is small. That wouldn't be just fucked up. That would be BEYOND fucked up. The window of opportunity for ending the relationship because of sexual incompatibility has long passed. You made your bed. Now lie in it.

  • Sex does mean a lot in a relationship. He's willing to do whatever it takes (eating you out for an hour) and not being selfish. Toys are always fun in the bedroom.
    If you truly love him then find more ways for you to be satisfied. He seems willing to do that.
    If you're not then let him go now.

    • yeah i know he's not selfish and i have been willing and open to try more its just he's still blames me like its my fault i can't get off evn though i dont mention his issue and still overlook it to keep our relationship

    • You have to know what gets you off. Have him do that to you. He shouldn't blame you. He knows that with his 2 past relationships.

  • It's hard to say "dump him" because it's been six years. When I first read the question, I was assuming you were going to be shallow, but it seems like you've legitimately tried to make it work. You've legitimately tried to see passed it. You've legitimately tried to make it better. And not onyl does he not seem appreciative, he doesn't seem to think there's a problem.

    Sex should be a part of a healthy relationship. If he's not carrying his weight, I don't think the relationship can survive.

    • yeah i think sex is a great way to feel closer to one another smh i just was hoping since i cared enuff to overlook it he would be more willing and understanding that at least he's been getting off i haven't been and i still have been trying to work on things with him rather than see it and running bc of the problem

    • Yeah, you're going to have to have a do-or-die conversation with him. Let him know that it's serious - don't threaten or he might get defensive - but see how he responds. But it's not going to be one of those things that you're going to be able to get passed. This could be the person you spend your life with, and you're not going to be happy unless things get better sexually.

    • yeah your right ! im def going to have to just sit him down and discuss it out with him one final time!! i can't be the only one trying to look past it and baby his feelings when he doesn't care about hurting mine by constantly saying he's going to fuck around or dump me bc my "sex drives not high enough" ! ! thank you so much !!

  • Just end it imo. Find someone with a penis you're happy with. You probably won't do it though. It can be tough to stop a relationship.

  • You need to get rid of the guy if he is not making you happy and you are always frustrated. Its neither his fault or yours regarding his penis size but you should not have waited this long to tell him.

  • Try some sex positions that can improve upon a short penis. You will find a lot of tips online. Btw, he can use his finger on yojr clitoris when he is performing... that should help. Try positions with your thighs together for a tighter fit. That would improve the sensations.
    Also, is the foreplay adequate and upto your taste. That would play a big part in the actual experience.
    And last, kill him but don't mention the dick!!

    • she's got a big hole. she needs a big black cock.

  • so u have a kid with him? if u know that u got a big hole why did u fuck him n that too without any fucking comdom? there r lots of guys with big dicks. check out every one n finally u will find what u want. go for the black guys. they have monster cocks.

  • is nobody's fault. but i guess your gonna have to accept him for who he is. either experiment with different positions or get him a penis pump and see if it works for him

  • Often times sexual compatibility is an important thing in a successful relationship and if it's not really doing it for you, then what can you do. There has been many relationship that ended because the guy simply has a small penis and that's fine. I wouldn't want to spend my life with someone I do not satisfy sexually no matter how I feel for her; it's just not me, I want her to feel the same pleasure as I would having sex with her. That's only the sexual part however, if you really care or love him like you say you do, then is this something you can look past? or is this really too much? All I can say is that it's not your fault, you simply want to actually be sexually satisfied. It's also not the guy's fault because that is what he was given and there's nothing really he can do about it. If you can look past this, then kudos and if not I don't blame you at all.

  • I think you should let him know his dick is small and try to work out for solution. if he loves you hewont be angry on you. just tell your feeli gs to him

    • Never, ever tell a guy he is too small.

    • . you should accept what you have got that way you will stay more happy. just be in confidence its okay if you have got a small penis. it dosnt mean you are not man enough. as she said her bf is lovely and caring mayb she fucks with a guy with big penis he can satisfy her sexually but not emotionally socially and mentally

    • I mean man with big penis mayb can't satisfy her phisically socially and mently

    • Show All

  • Is 4.5 inches too short? I feel like my dick doesn't get much longer than that. I'm now scared, what hope do I have?

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH76tfDxm7Y

    listen to this song and understand our pain

    • dump him but please do not mention the penis

  • Hmm, I would focus on the positions that enabled the most penetration as possible. I know they also make extender sleeves he can wear to make him bigger. Other than that, I'm afraid he would have to focus on alternative ways to please you.

    • Wow, they do? I wish my dick was smaller just so I could try one. As it stands, I'm just a little too big to go full thrust into my lady and that actually kinda bothers me. Like I just want to go all the way in wtf. Sorry, that's all kinda irrelevant to this thread. OP I don't know how to help you. I could barely understand what your question was tbh

  • i have the same size penis and i've been married for years, i just encourage her to have sex with other guys everyone once in a while ;)

  • It's neither his fault nor yours, it's just life

  • u should leave him for me. i have an 8 inch very thick dong

  • You should try a sex only one night stand to see if it's what u really want. If you still feel the same then break up with him but be honest, he will have to be open about it to future girls so he doesn't get led on again.

  • Maybe your boyfriend could get on the waiting list for a big d***k transplant.

  • Let him go so he can find another woman who matches with him sexually. It's the best thing for the both of you. But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not tell him that he's too small for you, because it will destroy any confidence that he ever had.

    • You will feel better yourself if you can find a guy who fits with you. You're not doing him or yourself any favors by prolonging this.

    • I just saw that you have a child with him, so I apologize for what I said. Check out this article, which has 20 positions that you can try with him.

      www.sofeminine.co.uk/.../...mall-penis-d49607.html

    • I'm 4" myself, so it's kind of a touchy subject for me.

    • Show All

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