Sexual Relationships
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Is having sex with another guy while on a break from your relationship considered cheating?

My ( so called ) BF and I have been dating for almost a year now and for the last month have been struggling and he told me he wanted a break from our relationship. While on our break a few of my girlfriends and I went on a vacation to Costa Rica that we have planned for over a year now. While we were there we met a few of the locals and on our last night had a big party at our condo with them. One of the guys that we met and I had become very flirtatious with each other over the last few days and that night things got intense between us. That night we were all drinking heavily and some of the guys started taking body shots off of us girls and private parts started getting visible, later in the evening I let that particular guy take a whipped cream shot off of my nipples and I could tell he and I both wanted more than that. I thought he was about to suck them off. About an hour later he and I made our way into my bedroom. In the room he and I started kissing and he took my bikini off and went down on me for a few minutes and then I return the favor to him. After a few minutes of this we started having by far the best sex I had ever had in my life. We had sex three times that night and I had the most mind blowing orgasm I have ever had, it was so intense the next day my abs felt like I did 1000 sit-ups just from the convulsions I had during the orgasm, and on the third time we did it I even let him finish in my mouth which is not that common for me. I've been back in the U. S for about 2 weeks now and that so-called break my "boyfriend" wanted is now over and we started seeing each other again. I never told him about what happened in Costa Rica and I'm not sure that I want to. Sometimes I feel a little guilty about what I did almost like I may have cheated on him. Did I? Do you consider having sex with someone else while on a break from the relationship considered cheating? In my opinion a "break" is the same thing as breaking up. What do you think?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • No, I don't think it's really cheating (unless you guys discussed it beforehand, of course). I mean, really a "break" is just a fancy word people typically use to describe the early stages of breakup, anyway.

    I also don't really think it's the right thing to do, though, and I can see why you'd feel bad about it. Me personally, this is not something I could ever do if I was still connected to someone else. But again, what's right for me and my relationships won't hold true for everyone else.

    Should you tell your boyfriend? Yeah, I really think you should. It's the morally correct thing to do, I think, and in terms of responsible sexual health, he has a right to know that you've been with someone else.

  • A break is not the same thing as a break up!
    You have cheated on your boyfriend and everything between the two of you is based on a lie until you come clean. You should feel guilty, cheating on someone is one of the most hurt full things you can do to another human being.

    • She's guilty of nothing. During a break you're free to see other people all you like.

    • a break is a state of limbo, or escro, while you try to figure out the future of your relationship, it is not the same thing as a breakup where the relationship is considered over.

    • I think this has to do with personal definition. Everytime I was on a break, I was free to do what I wanted. I don't even get the point of asking for a break if you can't accept that that's bound to happen. You never have that much control over a person when you're not with them.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • It depends on who you ask. Personally I know if my boyfriend and I ever took a "break" I would still have absolutely no interest in sleeping around and would be beyond crushed if I found out he slept with other girls while we were on "break". Then again, I am absolutely and utterly in love with him, and he's the only person I've ever made love with, so take that into consideration when accounting for my answer.
    It sounds like you don't really love him if you didn't mind sleeping with some other stranger even though you two weren't technically "over". I don't know if it was cheating, but it indicates your boyfriend may not hold the special place in your heart that a soulmate should.

  • When you take a break it's a break from the relationship correct? A break in which you figure things out. Which means you are single I think. Honestly taking a break makes no sense like either you are together with someone or you're not there isn't really any inbetween to me. If I were you I would tell him because I think he has a right to know because you don't want him to find out from anyone else and also so cause you don't want any secrets in a relationship. But I think before you have that conversation with him you need to figure out exactly what you want. Best of luck.

  • A break means that you're single & could possibly get back together. When you're single, you can sleep with who you want. So no, it's not cheating. You HAVE to be together in order to cheat on someone. If he doesn't like the way that works then he shouldn't have agreed to a break.

  • in all honesty you were on a break and i wouldn't be surprised if i get down voted for this but i dont see much wrong with that you and the local obviously connected on some level, but also you should tell ur bf its the right thing to do

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • That toe curling sex you described sounded like a great way to get ripped lol. Anyways what you described isn't cheating but then again it has never stopped feelings from getting hurt. You can't cheat on someone when you are not together. That contract was voided. The fact that he is (or might be) hurt is illegitimate, but not unreasonable. Besides, do you know how many women have not had the amazing sex you had?

    If I have one grief with you though, it's that honesty is crucial in a relationship, and you are not being honest. All these thoughts stem from the fact that you are uncomfortable telling the truth, nor should you be. But telling the truth is about courage not comfort. Trust me, I know because I have a strict policy about honesty.

  • he asked for the break! no it is not cheating! no need to tell him either.

  • I don't think its cheating but it is frowned upon. If your boyfriend asks, you shouldn't lie.

  • I never got the point of 'breaks' it seems like just a skiddish term for breaking up, I don't know why people even call it that so it's w/e. If she wanted a break I would just be done so wouldn't care that much, he might not even want to get back if he knew so.

  • I think that considering you got back with the poor guy it is cheating. Wether you like it or not you are still in a relationship and what you did is considered cheating.

  • It depends what boundaries were set for the so called break. I would tell him so he can make the decision whether or not he wants to continue the relationship.

  • It really depends on you two, and how you viewed the situation whilst being on a break. No one else can really define that for you I’m afraid. A few years ago, whilst my girlfriend and I were on a break, my girlfriend was having non-stop sex with this guy. It lasted for a couple of weeks, and although I was frustrated, and jealous, I really couldn’t do anything about it because in our minds we were apart. My girlfriend told me, but whether you choose to tell your boyfriend is up to you.

  • Hooking up while on a "break" is AKA destroying any chance of the relationship being repaired. You shouldn't hide that from him. Tell him and go your separate ways because you two will never be able to look at each other the same way anyways.

  • Well if I was your boyfriend and found out about it, I would not take you back. Every time I had a girlfriend ask for a "break" I immediately start looking for another girlfriend, because I know what that's all about.

  • No so don't listen to anyone who says it is.

  • Nup ! Sex is just like a river , let it flow. And does it matter to just sleep with someone else , its just normal , i am married and i have slept with more than 20 women after marriage and may be my wife have slept with even more but we love each other and want us to have fun and be happy. sometimes we are out for two months apart from each other , i dnt want her to stop living rather have fur when out to a new place and we share each other experience its cool for both of us.

  • Just don't tell him

  • If a break doesn't mean break up.. what the hell does it mean? What is the reason behind it? It sounds like to me he wanted to be with other girls and keep you on a string. Don't feel guilty... I guarantee he was with someone during the "break".

  • wow... you are one terrible woman... thank god you are not my g. f.

    That is just messed up...

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