Sexual Relationships
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My boyfriend told me he'd fuck my best friend.. How should I take this?

We were randomly talking one day about a upcoming rave and I told him I hope things don't get weird because it'd be me my bf and my best friend most likely rolling on a rave campingtrip thing. And I said I had a dream that we kinda had a threesome. He agreed that that thought crossed his mind and he liked the thought. I wasn't uncomfortable about it, we talked about the "what ifs" and how that could be very hot and all that. I was cool with it, until it seemed like he was more interested than just that. So I said if by any chance we'd have a 3some with my bff we would have to have one with his. (I said this jokingly because I thought he'd never agree) but we pinky promised that if either happens the other has too. Later on we were talking and getting emotional about the whole subject, cause I wouldn't care to do it of we all weren't interested in each other like that. But I felt as if he was interested in my bff, so we got into this argument and I asked if he'd actually watch his best friend f*ck me and he said no he couldn't. Basically I asked if you didn't want to promise that in the first place why did he? So if it happened I wouldn't get my fair share (although I ddnt want it actually, just principle) he said he was sorry and was just thinking with his dick just so he could have a 3 some. Later on I got out of him he did actually want to fuck my bff (with me there) but he would like to fuck her.. How should I feel about this?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I would like to fuck tons of beautiful womens. I'm not in a relationship but if I were, I would still like to fuck tons of beautiful womens. Would I if I had the chance? Definitely not. Just like I don't stare at incredibly attractive women when it's obvious they have their man with them. Doing the right thing is very important. If my girl brought up a potential threesome scenario I would either say "naw I don't really find her that attractive" or I would say "yea sure she's pretty that would be hot." I wouldn't lie about the scenario of a 3some with one of my guy friends. I could lie about it because I know none of them would agree or I could pull them to the side and tell them it's not happening. But I wouldn't lie, that's immoral.

  • YOU CAN'T GIVE A GUY AN OPENING WHERE HE THINKS A THREESOME IS GOING TO HAPPEN, IF YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU'RE NOT GOING FOR IT.

    A guy will jump through all sorts of hoops to make it happen. And if you then turn around and go "Actually, I was only kind of kidding, because I'm not into threesomes. Ever. I never want to have one." He will flip his shit. And you do not want to be at ground zero when that particular dream comes crashing to the ground.

    The guy will always want to fuck your best friend. That's going to be true of all guys, even the ones who will lie to you about it once they realise you can't handle the truth.

    • I didn't say I wasn't into them, I just said I don't want to do it if he actually liked her. He kinda said that it really didn't matter who it was with as long as I was into it he wouldn't feel weird about it. But that he did of course find her sexually attractive but not like her as in date wise.. I think I over reacted because he promised to ask his best friend if the threesome did happen, just as fair trade buut he had no intention of ever doing that he just said it so he could get laid. Lol..

    • I have to go with this one also. I mean you said her so of course he started thinking about her that way. if you would have said someone else he would have thought of her that way. You are over thinking this. Now you know guys are very possesive (misspelled I am sure) and they tend to have a double standard. If you pushed he would probably do it but to be honest he didn't offer that like you offered the other side. You just threw that in at the end. He would have never offered his friend to join with you. It kind of blind sided him and he agreed because he hadn't thought about it.

    • Yes I am very possessive and before our talk got dark, we talked of ways we could make it more intimate for us. And how since she is my bestfriend she wouldn't be so much of a possessive girl like if it was a random person. But yeah he told me he agreed because since I was willing to do that he'd at least try. I did really read into things and we actually almost broke up because of it. But all in all we grew from it and now I actually feel comfortable. (my bestfriend doesn't even know we were talking about using her as a sex prop lol and we dont even know if she'd get sure be Down)

Most Helpful Girls

  • This is just my opinion. But when you told him about that dream, a part of you thought it was attractive idea. But you probably should have kept it to yourself unless you were 100% into the idea. Men are perverted. Relationships are hard enough between 2 people and add this weird 3 thing and you have a mess. How much would it suck to throw what y'all have away over something so messed up. Obviously he finds your friend attractive so now you have a whole other problem. Honestly you deserve a man who is fully satisfied with you and all of you. So much so that he would never want to mess with what he has with you.

  • This is what a boyfriend of a friend of mine told her and then she told me this in confidence...
    He sounds like someone who doesn't take relationships seriously... just a conduit for more experience...

    If you're fine with this, then, by all means, stay in the relationship. If not... move on.

    • No it's not that, I mentioned the idea to my boyfriend. We have a very open sexual relationship, like it may sound weird but some of our foreplay may actually consist of him telling me a story of his past sexual events. Now that may sound weird but my bf lost his virginity to me so I find it kinda cute/hot when he tells me these innocent stories, because he literally has no clue what there is out in the world. We are completel honest with each other and I asked him 21 questions and then some about any and all things involving this. Some to the point of me in tears and he was still honest (struggled to answer due to not wanting to hurt my feelings) but did answer and I honestly trust him, he's nice brought up country boy who likes the idea of a 3 some I'm not mad cuz I like it to. But to what extent that I like it idk..

    • Well... he want to experience more than what only you can offer, apparently. And apparently, you want this too. The thing is, how would your friend react to it? Maybe it's wiser to find an impartial third person... someone you won't compromise your relationship with when you do this.

    • I agree with Sally. You both want to try it so proceed cautious Lu and set up a bunch of rules and boundaries for each other beforehand. Make it clear what is expected. Make sure that you both understand that it's an experiment and you must continue to be open and honest with each other

  • You should have seen through he wants to fuck your friend and when he thought that you were seeing the seriousness of the talk, he apologized... basically when you aroused the topic he got the chance to tell you his true feeling.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • If he cared how YOU felt, screw his selfish fantasies, if he actually loved YOU and respects you as a lover and a friend, he wouldn't even mention it. Nor express interest in your friends. Would you like more of my insight?

    • Yeah, but it was me who brought up the fantasy, not necessarily to be with my bff but with someone my bff was just in my dream. I brought this up because I was the first person. He's had sex with and I want to show him he's not really missing out on anythjng (if he had ever wondered) plus I like the thought of him with another girl.. Maybe not my bff tho

    • Touche. Do what you will, whatever makes you comfortable. Tell him your intentions. Don't have a misunderstanding, both of you should be on the same page. The questions not asked aren't going to get answered. The silence is gonna speak in volumes if the shit hits the fan.

    • Yeah weve intensely talked about it, and he doesn't want to do it if I wouldn't feel completely comfortable. Or I wouldn't wanna do it if he didn't or the other person. Itd have to be in total agreeance or by total accident. But the fact that we have talked about it beforehand will let him know that if it does happen he knows the boundaries he cannot cross. (kissing, face to face, etc)

  • Wow that's so interesting! That you were actually discussing it shows some maturity in handling yourself in a relationship. However, it would be painful for both of you to find out the other was fucking the bff's. So, you should maybe try threesomes with people you don't know. Like you meet at a bar and hook up later. If you find it a positive then let that aspect develop. But be careful of hurting each other.

    • I really love this topic that you have opened. Good luck, Miss. ;) p. s. I'd definitely be into trying 3somes as well. But not if she got too insecure about it.

  • He's breaking rule #1 of threesomes. You never act eager. He probably wants to fuck your best friend. He probably wants to fuck most of your friends. He probably wants to fuck your sister. And your mom... maybe even your grandma. No need to think to much about it.

  • Hmm I'd be a little concerned

    • I don't know what to think of it, but im trying to see from his point of view

    • I'd be worried - why would a committed bf think this right?

  • most guys love the thought of a threesome. Don't feel bad about it. To guys having two girls at once is a great feeling because if they can pleasure both girls at once they think they are great at sex. so don't feel bad, he still wants you more, he just wants a threesome just like most guys.

  • I believe in monogamy, as in, no goddamn threesomes. I actually lost a lot of respect for a married couple I know, because they'd meet these chicks, and instead of thinking of hooking them up with me or one of our other single friends (most guys in are group are single) they try to coerce these women into having a threesome with them. Of course, most women are like, "No." and therefor eject themselves from our little circle because those two have to act like fucking perverts.

    • True

  • You should feel like he is a normal guy. The threesome fantasy is pretty common and when you brought it up, he got really hopeful.


  • Let him fuck her

  • That is what you get when you have a young bf and introduce the idea of a 3some and even drugs. Grow up if you don't want to handle the realities of it all. 3 somes always wreck a relationship anyway. Your bf has some oats to sew. Let him and leave him.

    • Yeah I kinda figured that it would be a bad idea to bring in someone so close to us. So I just told him to invite his friend to the rave so I wouldn't feel bad for mine being all alone. Well probably wait till we're a little bit older. But it's still on the list, I love my bf enough to keep options open.

    • You will lose your bf the minute you share him. Been there done that more than once. I am 43 and know it. If you really love him don't do it. Also I am judgmental about rolling but the truth is most of the good shit has heroine in it so try to stop that shit too if you can. My good friend fucked her life up because of that. I wish you well for real and hope you make good decisions.

    • They didn't have straight MDMA back in the day that's probably why (always check your pills). But Yeh I'm thinking of it not necessarily with my bff but maybe with another couple who's pretty open with their sexuality like we are.. Thank you for the warning though, I completely understand like the thought is prob more intriguing than the actual happenings lol so it might stay a thought until we are farther in our relationship

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