Why do guys assume I like it soft and sensual vs. rough and intense?

[Anonymous]

So since my ex, I've fooled around with a couple guys. but my ex was really rough and intense, with fingering, eating me out, sex and everything. It's really the only way I get off. If its slow and soft, I don't feel anything and I want to fall asleep lol Recently I've been hanging with this guy I like as a friend, so I take it slow and haven't had sex with him. We just fooled around, kissing touching, fingering. And he's so soft, I was like "you can bite on my nipples harder" and he said, "I don't want to hurt you." But it really doesn't hurt at all, I can get bitten hardcore on the nipple and have it feel amazing. Even his fingering was pretty slow and blah, felt good but I wanted him to get deeper in there and go harder. But he didn't really listen.. Just kept being all sensual and stuff. Just curious, why do you think some guys assume girls like to go soft and sensual when they first start doing stuff with them? It's lame.

[AustinMan]

When I got divorced, I developed a set of facts that I shared early, I mean very early, after meeting a prospective partner. I told her that I was a very demanding lover, that I was physically dominant, rough, and moderately sadistic in bed. If they went screaming from the room, that was that. No one did. I guess I attract submissive women but I also believe that a large percentage of women in the US want what you do. For this particular case, I'd sit him down over an intimate drink away from the sex, and talk to him. Tell him you have some sexual needs that you're not sure he gets so you want to spell it out so he can decide if he wants to sing or get away from the piano. You like your sex rough and erotic pain is a huge turn on. You need him to man up, forget about pleasing you for the moment, and just take you like the animal he can be. Tell him that there are two safe words: Mercy means I need for you to not get more intense for a minute while I adjust, and Red Light means you need to stop, now. Tell him you've never had to use those but they are important for this reason: when he's going all sex craved male on you and you say stop or no, he should pick up the pace. He should keep going until he's finished with you or until he hears a safe word. Please message me as I have more to say on this that I think you might find very useful. Please include this question as I have many conversations going in parallel and I need some context.

[AustinMan]

Thanks for the selection as MHO. I'd also suggest you try role play sex. Take a fantasy you both like, make up a scenario, the more details the more fun it is, get deep, deep into character, and live out your dreams. Hottest sex ever, I promise.

[AustinMan]

Some guys are raised that sex is all about soft and tender loving. I'm not that guy. I'm very, very dominant with a sadistic streak so she's gonna suffer a bit at my hand, be it from spanking her hard to biting her nipples while she tugs.

[normalice]

i assume girls like soft sex because every single girl I have been with tells me she likes rough sex, but then when I start fucking them, they want me to be gentler. I even try to build up to rougher sex, and they invariably try to slow things down.

So, now I don't even try to be rough, apart from hair pulling, spanking, and the occasional gagging :-/

[BinaryColor]

It's better to go too soft on a girl that likes it rough than too rough on a girl that likes it soft. It is basically a safe assumption, he will take time to get used to it but I am sure you can convince him ;)

[kheserthorpe]

Because other girls have complained they were too rough.

Because they'd rather err on the side of caution.

[stevie123]

In my experience, most girls like it softer.
Coincidentally, both of my FWBs liked it rough.
My 20 other lovers liked it soft (my D was hard lol)
One needed to be pounded hard and fast.
The other needed hard nipple biting.

[johnmsk]

i dont assume girls like soft sex.. but i normally start slow and see the reaction of girl, then i get rough if she feels better. i like deep hard, fast banging into her such that my balls claps on her ass, and i like pulling hair while i do doggy to her, etc

[mrArcher]

I don't think anybody does that, I think that everybody just goes by what they like.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's lame to you, but to many other women if you don't start slow and sensual it could be painful or not turn her on enough.