My best guy friend wants to go out with me?

[Anonymous]

My best guy friend asked me out after 8 years of him being my BEST FRIEND. I don't know what to do because initially I laughed in his face because I thought he was kidding. Anyways, we're really close like my friends think were too close-- were 15 and we've seen each other naked.. But we didn't have sex before we are just both impatient and do not knock... Anyways, all my friends think it's stupid if I would say no because we are "perfect for each other" and we would be the hottest couple in the grade. It's also really embarrassing because there are already polls on Facebook that say we should go out and tweets about how hot we would be as a couple. I honestly don't know what to do because I don't want to hurt our friendship but like I do find him attractive... Like I've told him everything about my past relationship (like all of my first times: i, e: bj, hj, finger, boobs, oral, sex) Anyways, this happened only thirty minutes ago and now my whole school knows!!! My friends that I met during the summer on a teen tour just started texting me about him. WHAT DO I DO?

[QueenofSilentFoxes]

I dated my closest guy friend. He really wanted me to.

At first, it was awkward, since we had never been with anyone or done anything (we are 17 and were 16-17 when this occurred), not even kiss.

Then it got like heaven. It was amazing and fun. I loved every second with him.

Then he acted weird. Distant. I got worried so I asked him about it.

He broke up with me. I fell apart and our friendship fell apart.

We ignored each other and could barely speak to each other.

That is the consequence if you say yes.

Yet I know I would have regretted saying no. I would have always wondered, what if? It would have killed me.

You need to decide carefully. Make a pro/con list. What would be a positive if you dated him, what would be a negative?

Now? We don't talk much since we are both shy around each other but I think he still likes me.

I know you have more experience sexually than I but this is what happens when you date your best friend :P In my case anyways

[Asker]

This is so difficult. Thanks for the response though!

[Asker]

Just don't know what will happen. Like it's awkward if we go out and eventually have sex ( I waited a year after I had a stable boyfriend by the way ) because I was nervous about having sex with my last BF and he said I shouldn't worry about it because I have a 'hot body and anyone would be more than pleased to have you in bed.' i honestly dont know what to do. we have been so close for the past 8 years but i've known him for my whole life.. ERGH !! and by the way he only has seen me naked bc he doesn't knock but neither do i..

[QueenofSilentFoxes]

Eh I don't judge people so I won't go and say "oooh you had sex" because I can't judge. We decided to wait until marriage. Sooo I don't know what would happen if you two had sex. Hmm I was once told to figure out if I really liked a guy , was to picture me kissing him. If I liked the thought of it, than I do like him. If not, than I don't. Try it.

[Asker]

I find him very attractive and he has an amazing personality but he's my BEST FRIEND

[Asker]

Like girls have asked him out it's weird... But like I don't know if it's weird to be going out with my bestfriend yk? And thank u for not judging. I totally respect that you're waiting for marriage. My friend is but she judged me but we have different views so I think we should be able to take different actions.

[QueenofSilentFoxes]

Imagine your life without him as your best friend. What do you see?

[QueenofSilentFoxes]

I don't like judging people. My friend already has had bj and other things.. And I don't judge her. She is my friend. It would be silly to judge my friend because she decided not to wait. Thanks x

[Asker]

If I lose him as a friend I honestly don't know what to do.. half of the people I hang out with only like me for my circle of friends... they know if they hang out with me my 'group' will talk to them and thats all that matters. i have two friends who are abroad for the semester and if we went out and broke up before then i would have nobody to talk to. even worse if its not a mutual break up it will be all over Twitter

[Asker]

plus the poll for us to be hottest couple at Junior Prom (i didn't even say i would go out with him yet) it started over an hour ago and now over 120 people said we should date.. that's seriously concerning to me because if something bad goes wrong i'll either be the good guy, the bad guy, or like the girl whose pitied... ERHH but if i say no then it will be all over fb too and what if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore... i dont think that would happen but WHAT IF?

[QueenofSilentFoxes]

This tells me you don't want to date him for fear of losing him. He deserves the truth. Tell him you really care about him but you don't want to lose him as a best friend. If he is a true friend, he will understand. Now as for the Facebook/Twitter explosion, you can write it off as a rumour. This is why I don't use those lol. I wish you luck!

[Asker]

but i think he's attractive as welll... I don't know i like both sides just worried about the social media aspect

[QueenofSilentFoxes]

Ooh when I have to make a difficult decision, I like sitting in my room alone, listening to music and picturing both sides. You need to look at all the variables. Then once you imagined the negative/positive of both, you need to weigh them and decide which is more valuable. I am trying to give you my best advice but damn.

[Asker]

Yea ik it's a very difficult situation and I have to give him some answer by tomorrow because I've already got 50 fb messages about it and how i should totally go out with him bc we would be the hottest couple in the grade... then some 12th graders told me if i decline him they would totally be in

[QueenofSilentFoxes]

You shouldn't give a shit what anyone else thinks. I dated my ex out of pressure. I was tense and was unhappy at first because no one would leave me alone! They just wanted the cute couple together. I manage to fall in love with him later. Don't be pressured to date him. Its your damn choice.

[Asker]

but i don't want him to date someone else... am i being selfish?

[QueenofSilentFoxes]

Not selfish. You like him. And you don't want anyone else to steal him. IF you say no, he will pursue another. Do you want that to happen?

[Asker]

but i didn't think of this before tonight... i don't want him to go out with someone else especially with a 12th grader who will steal him away from me.. were bestfriends

[Asker]

one of my other guy friends has said he has declined the past girls because he's been trying to build the courage to ask me out (just got that like 5 minutes ago in a iMessage) anyway if i say no i think he will say yes to another girl

[QueenofSilentFoxes]

Look, its obvious you like him. If you don't want anyone to steal him, claim him. If you don't care, than don't claim him and keep him as a friend. Life is a bitch.

[QueenofSilentFoxes]

You like your best friend! Your other guy friend is doing this out of fear since your best friend has made a claim towards you.

[Asker]

Okay thanks! I'll let you know what I decide and how it goes (:

[QueenofSilentFoxes]

Thanks for MH! I wanna hear all about it!! And I better! :P If you want privacy, just message me. Choose wisely.

[cowsert101]

you guys have been friends for a long time. you should be able to make an attempt at it without killing your friendship. talk to him about it if you think he would make a good bf. if you choose to give it a try sit down and get him to understand that you want to try and make sure the friendship can survive if the relationship fails. start out slowly and see if you can work in that direction. iff you feel you can't call it off quickly.

if you choose not to, let him know that it has far more to do with wanting to not loose him as a friend from the stupidity of a relationship than him not fitting into what you want. be open and honest with him about it.

and the first thing you need to do regardless of the direction you take it is to apologize to him about laughing as that probably hurt him.

[cowsert101]

and for the love of god make sure to keep your relationship details off of social media. it is more than capable of destroying it.

[Asker]

I honestly wouldn't try to hurt him as he's said that it would be funny if we went out back when we were in eighth grade... And that was only a few years back.. Anyways, I'm just worried all my other friends will talk about it on Facebook and I'll be trending on Twitter for days. Also, then who will I talk to about my relationship with him? I always went to him for advice and EVERYTHING

[Asker]

I don't post anything on my social media except for a few pictures every now and then... My girl friends are the ones who posted stuff like they did once he said we should go out... That's why I wouldn't be able to tell them anything and I couldn't tell him how to fix a problem if I had a problem with him. Ugh it's soo difficult. + it's been a little over 45 minutes after he asked me out I TOLD ONE OF MY FRIENDS and there are polls on Facebook with over 70 tallies saying that we should go to Junior Prom together... It just gets me nervous that if it doesn't work out it will be all over Facebook

[cowsert101]

he is clearly gonna have a better understanding of you than any other boy you date. the ultimate goal of any relationship should be to talk to each other instead of going to someone else. keep talking to him. and also ignore social media. you need to understand that in a few years 95% of your friends now won't mean shit to you. I was friends with tons of kids in high school and i can say that all but 5 or 6 of them are not important in my life any more. keep the important stuff of any relationship be it family friends or bf/gf off of social media. let other people tlk to their hearts content but ignore it. it will go away quickly enough

[cowsert101]

if you can't trust your friends you need new ones

[cowsert101]

and the one you are in a relationship is the most important one to talk about the problems with

[Asker]

Yea thats why he was my best friend. I have one to two friends that are nice too but like there abroad for the semester in China so I can't talk to them now :(

[Asker]

Plus even the kids in my grade that aren't as popular wouldn't want to be my friend unless it meant getting into my circle of friends and I don't like to be used

[Asker]

But still sometimes you need advice how to talk to that person and I did that with him.. Who will I do it with now.. I don't want to hurt his feelings...

[cowsert101]

your bigger issue here is a lack of real friends. start looking at kids that aren't all that popular. they usually won't care what other people say and so won't spread it around.

[cowsert101]

I would give him a chance but im speaking as a guy that has been friend zoned more than once lol. your friendships in life are fluid. you find people to talk to when important friendships dissolve or change

[Asker]

Yea I understand what your saying.. I legit went to people I didn't know existed at my school and all they were interested in was popularity.. They instantly changed their clothing and Facebook pro pic and everything once i showed interest in them it's ridiculous!

[Asker]

Also, I understand how he would feel but I just don't know if it's ultimately worth it to ruin my relationship with him. But then there's a chance we would be really fun together. I don't know

[cowsert101]

well I have given you my advice. as I said, I think you should at least try it but take it slow to see how things feel and if they don't work end it quickly before it gets too involved. past that there isn't much you can do beyond make sure you don't do anything stupid in your relationship.

[Asker]

Okay thanks

[cowsert101]

your welcome and good luck

[blackkid97]

Maybe you guys should try being friends with benefits first just as a test drive because me n my bestfriend dated for a year n a half, fell in love and everything but we broke up n our friendship hasn't been the same since, we're still good friends and hang out all the time but it's not even close to how it was before

[Asker]

What do you imply by being friends with benefits?

[blackkid97]

Nothing sexual, just like kissing n cuddling. See how it feels, if it feels right then go further if not, stay regular friends

[Asker]

Yea I would either just wanna stay bestfriends or have a relationship but thanks for the idea.

[Hbballer]

I say you should say yes I had a problem just like that my best friend I have known 5 year I don't like but truly love her but don't know what to say to tell if she fells the same and I sorta don't think ya should date cuz what if you brake up and it ruines your relationship

[Asker]

You are kinda contradicting yourself though.. Because you said I should say yes and then at the end you said you don't because it would ruin our relationship.. ?

[DarkHumorRUs]

You like him enough to be your best friend for 8 years. Isn't that enough for a relationship? I mean, if my future girlfriend had the personality of my best friend, that would be perfect. Say yes. At least try it out.

[Asker]

Yea but then I'm afraid if I break up with him then it will be all over Facebook and Twitter just like when he asked me out.

[DarkHumorRUs]

Well why do you think you wouldn't be a good couple? And who cares about Twitter or Facebook?

[stevie123]

Thats the problem with the anti-social media Too many bigmouths. Keep low online, and you will be better for it.

[stevie123]

If you find him sexy, go for it.
It is better to be friends first anyway.
You've seen him naked, so who cares about the rest?
I am still friends with most of my exes, so don't worry.
You really like each other, so any breakup shouldn't be nasty, you respect each other.
Ignore the social media blitz, don't let it ruin your life.
Just enjoy your guy

[psykobrahe]

Calm down, forget about everyone else (they're just ghouls) and figure out what you want your relationship to be. Then talk with him about it. But seriously, all the others are just in it for the entertainment, it is none of their business. Ignore them.

[Cómoestás]

Just be friends with him. If it got relationship date wise, it can be awkward seeing him as a date since you saw him for a long time as a friend.

[TreJInfinity]

I would say yeah, but if u break up, it's gonna be a little weird... the same thing happened to me

[Anonymous]

In my experience, the best relationships come from being friends first. If you really are close friends, and if for whatever reason you two dating doesn't work out, you'll find a way to get that friendship back.

[Asker]

read what I wrote to @/cowsert101 and get back to me

[Opinion Owner]

wow your friends sound horrible... Don't worry about polls or tweets or what anybody else thinks. Do what's best for you. If you have romantic feelings for him, or think you could, then go out with him. If you don't think you could ever see him as anything more than a close friend, tell him that his friendship means too much to you. Just know that what he did took a lot of guts. It's not easy confessing to your best friend, so that should tell you just how much he likes you. End of the day, it's how you feel.

[Anonymous]

>15
>has had sex

Well, somebody didn't believe in wasting time. Enjoy parenthood.

[Asker]

I was with him for two years... I was on birth control & he used a condom.

[Asker]

That didn't exactly answer my question..

[Opinion Owner]

Still, all demographics show that the majority of teenage pregnancies happen with girls who were sexually active at a young age. Try and book a spot on 16 and pregnant, you've only got one more year to make the cut.

[Asker]

I'm not sexually active at the moment. Plus, my doctor knew about it it wasn't a big deal.