Guys,How Important Is It To You That Your Girlfriend Orgasm?

[Anonymous]

When my boyfriend and I have sex,i never orgasm and I've never even had an orgasm and he knows that.He doesn't go down on me or finger me,so I try to rub myself down there but,he usually cums before I get anywhere and we stop after he cums.I've asked him if we could try something so I could orgasm but we never do.So yea,i've never had an orgasm,and I guess he doesn't mind. So how important is it to you that your girlfriend or partner orgasm?

[DrJones]

I answered a very similar question recently, so here's the copypasta:

This is not uncommon, especially for women.

Is this a major problem in your relationship? Personally, whenever I have sex with someone I really like knowing that she's had an orgasm - but it's not the most important thing. Some of my former gfs were like you are, some of them had an orgasm every time we had sex, and some were in between.

In many cases, women simply don't have orgasms from ordinary penetration. If so, it might be worthwhile to show your boyfriend (or your next bf) what works on you and let him try. For example, I knew a woman who never climaxed during intercourse but, with a little practice, I could use my fingers to make her come just about whenever I wanted to.

In some cases, women can learn to have orgasms by changing their masturbation habits, confronting self-image issues, or possibly by spending a lot of time having sex with the same person. (Couples often get better over time at satisfying each other - I love it when this happens!)

For more info, I'd go find some books by sex therapists and sex researchers who study this topic.

EDIT: In your case, I don't like that he won't go down on you or finger you. It's not really that difficult, and a good boyfriend should be willing to put out a little extra effort for something that's important to you.

[Asker]

Well I guess it isn't that big of a deal,cause I've never had an orgasm,so I don't even know what it's like

[wanacot]

First off, if you've never even had an orgasm I would suggest you get some practice in with yourself (masturbate) to learn how it feels and what gets you off. Once you know that, you can ask him to do it for you or do it to yourself during sex.

Second off, he won't go down on you, he won't finger you and he won't do anything different to get you to orgasm? Dump his ass. Sorry but that is just too selfish. I'm not saying he has to devote the entire time you guys have sex to pleasing you but he should be doing SOMETHING for you. You're not just there to please him, sex should be a two way street.

I would seriously advise you to ditch this guy and find someone new that is more than willing to help please you (trust me there are a lot of guys out there that would be more than happy to).

[itzzxhypnotik]

get a new man. seriously. although sex isn't everything in a relationship how a man is in bed (if he is just worried about himself or tries to wait till you get off) really says a lot about his personality. a guy selfish in bed is still usually a selfish guy in the whole relationship.

[SmarmyMarsh]

Agreed.

[peace-love-couture]

Well,i've never had sex,but in a relationship,there's two people,not one,each partner should consider the enjoyment an pleasure of the other.I think your boyfriend is being selfish,cause your pleasure is also important

[1988fido]

It’s very important
I will be sad if she doesn’t orgasm.
It means that she is not enjoying it enough or something.
So I try more next time

[sota13]

VERY important! I know that sometimes, like your guy, I come too fast during sex so I make sure to get her off with my mouth or hand FIRST.

and if you've never had an orgasm, as other people has said, it's a good idea to practice with yourself, see what works for you. that way you can "train" your guy to do the things you like best so sex can be mutually satisfying.

[cjwright79]

Isn't it irrelevant what we think? Your boyfriend is the one with the issues.

[stallion]

Me - I love to make my Girlfriend orgasm - most girls never have or know what a real orgasm is , so I love to show them ... then there is no going back for them , it's like opening a whole new World... You have to know how to do it right and the Girl needs to be comfortable enough and trust you enough to let you take her to new heights

[TwiztedTD]

My motto: I'm not happy until she is happy.

[self1]

Aw cute

[TsubasaCorrupted]

Very important. If during sex she doesn't cum, I'll perform oral sex until she does. I hate leaving her unsatisfied after she was kind enough to satisfy me.

[AlexWulf]

For me its a give and take she makes me climax, i make her climax, vise versa.

Often the preperation is key. playing out kinks, massaging and stimulation, preparing a man is quite easy but a women is a finetuned clockwork to get really turned on.