Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Did he get a boner while we were cuddling?

So, there's this guy I'm not technically "dating", but we hang out alone a few times each week and cuddle and stuff. He takes me out on one-on-one, datelike outings, I'm at his apartment enough that I'm friends with both his roommates, and there's mutual attraction... so, we're pseudo-dating, I guess. Whatever. Anyway, I'm 18, devoutly Catholic and saving myself for marriage. He's 21, agnostic and a self-proclaimed "recovering slut"---he's had a lot of sexual experience in the past, but he's said he's tired of casual stuff. When we hang out, we cuddle and play-wrestle a lot, and he likes to tickle me constantly, so there's physical contact but nothing sexual. He hasn't even tried kissing me, and it's been, like, a month and a half. Yesterday, when we were sharing a blanket and cuddling, he turned away from the show we were watching to face me, and he just made intense, unbroken eye contact with me for a solid minute, at least. It gave me goosebumps, actually, and I just kind of cuddled into him as little spoon. He ran his fingers along my back and rubbed my cheek. Then, he just asked me to get off the bed and sit in the chair instead. I stayed a little while longer and we just talked, until he told me I should go to class. So, my experience with guys is VERY limited (up until this past April, I'd never even been kissed before), but I think the signs are all there indicating that he likes me. Did he ask me to move because he got a boner and didn't want to make me uncomfortable? Do sexually experienced males of 21 even get aroused that easily? I wasn't really rubbing up against him or anything, and I don't have any kind of sexy, seductive charm---I'm a reserved virgin freshman. But then again, my top that day was a bit more cleavage-friendly than usual. I don't know. Explain?
Updates:
+1 y
Basically, what I'm asking is, is a boner the reason he asked me to get off his bed? Like, it's not just because he didn't enjoy the physical contact, right?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • LOL, I love the "self-proclaimed "recovering slut" part. ha ha. Ya doesn't matter even if he had fucked the whole universe, He can get a boner just by seeing a perfectly clothed new girl. And the touches doesn't hav to be sexual. And what you were doing is "Textbook foreplay". And believe me, "Reserved" "Virgins" "Innocent" These kind give the best boners. But it was nice of him to decide not to make you uncomfortable. You must talk to him about this and let him know he can't hav sex with you. Just to make sure.

    • Oh, he's more than aware lol. He found out right off the bat when he met me.

    • Ha ha. OKie. Then you gotta be a little less touchy. TBH blueballs hurt a lot, especially when I'm trying my best not to hav sex with a girl due to my respect for her decision to stay a virgin.

    • Haha, okay, yeah. Sometimes I don't realize when I'm being "tantalizing", I guess lol.

    • Show All

  • lmao a guy can get a boner thinking about the weather... oh look that cloud looks like a boob... damn a boner... prob a bunch of things together made him if not he's gay LMAO... but he prob has feelings fo ya at least friendship feelings if nto relationship...

Most Helpful Girls

  • It cldve been he did get 1.. my ex bf even after we've broken up still gets one even when I just give him a hug.. but he mightve also told you to leave also because he was trying to avoid the sexual tension.. he might like you but knows your beliefs and so he knows not to go further so rather than him staying wanting and you turning him down he asked you to leave... not a bad thing. Might be he was looking out for both of you'll

  • He probably got a boner from thinking what he wanted to do to you that very moment. And he probably asked you to move so that he could contain himself. Well that's my opinion.

    • Thanks 😊

  • Why would he not get a boner? It might not be sexual to you, but it is sexual to him, I can assure you that.

    • But why is that sexual? I can't grasp that.

    • Physical contact with the girl he likes and feels attracted to? Fooling around with her? Hello? Haha.

    • I'm surprised it doesn't arouse you.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 22

  • He likes you and doesn't want things to happen like they normally would if he's a "recovering slut" like you say, it sounds like he's a really good guy with lots of self restraint, keep him close, he could be a great life partner if things get that far and he can handle your chastity. :)

  • When I was a lot younger I really liked this girl and would get boners all the time not because she made me feel like having sex all the time, but because that was the same feeling of love and chemistry for me. With her i just felt turned on all the time just by being in the same room as her.

  • Don't know ask him. Guys can get an erection of far less

  • How easily one becomes aroused has nothing to do with how much experience one has sexually.

    • But, like, wouldn't the bulk of his experience kind of take away the novelty of cuddling with me? Doesn't such an innocent act pale in comparison to his past erotic experiences?

    • Doesn't matter that's not how it works.

    • @asker

    • Show All

  • He probably didn't want to be tempted to try anything with you. Either that or he had a boner..
    Or both.

    • That rings a bell. He was joking, but he said, "If I was a 3% worse person, I might have tried to persuade you to do things you aren't comfortable with just a minute ago."

    • Ew. That's definitely in the top five for grossest pick up lines I've ever heard :P

    • Yea he didn't want to be tempted. Good man 👏👏 He respects you

  • Well you are an attractive girl, you can't really be surprised that he had a boner lol...

    • That's sweet of you to say. (:

  • A boner isn't always up to the guy. Sometimes cuddling can do it (especially if you jam your ass into his crotch as little spoon) or you could simply make eye contact. Or even for no reason. Or you try to not think about it, which is actually thinking about it and it happens anyway.

    • I don't think there was even actual groin contact.

  • Always lol... I think it's as much about pheromones as anything..

  • The fact that your a virgin turns guys on, if he knew. He probably did get on and it's not unusual even after a lot of experience.

    • He definitely knows, haha.

    • Lol well that probably contributed to it lol

    • Really? I don't understand that. A shy virgin is more arousing than a girl actually willing to have sex with you?

    • Show All

  • Most likely he did.

  • He's been around, usually being in the position you two were in (lying down together, looking into each other's eyes and cuddling) would be followed by sex. His dick doesn't care that you're a good little Catholic girl and figures it's Defcon 2.

    He knew it too and removed you from possible temptation for both your sakes.

    • Very good point. Lol, is that what usually precedes sex? I would have been happy to keep cuddling or even take a nap on him. Shows what I know.

    • There are many things that can precede sex, that is one of them. It's entirely possible to be in that position and just decide to snuggle up and fall asleep together too.

  • I would say he had begun "putting the moves on you". He realized it and stopped himself. He seems like a good man.

    • That makes sense, given the way he acted afterward. I think you're right.

  • Yes, guys get boners for the littlest of things.

    Walking to class, oh look a pebble. **Boom** boner. Not because of the pebble, but because testosterone.

    Random boners all day err day. For no reason at all. Now cuddling, DEFENITELY boner causing. I would get huge boners whenever I would kiss my ex and I wasn't even thinking about sex. It just happens.

  • I got a boner cuddling with a girl. It happens. Just do not let it get to your head.

    • What do you mean?

    • You said you were saving yourself until marriage, but I got the vibe or the impression that you may be having second thoughts now.

    • Not one bit. If he can't handle my chastity, he'll be the one I cut loose. My faith and morals come first.

    • Show All

  • every single boy i ever cuddled with had one

  • boners have nothing to do with his experience, I can get one driving down a bumpy road,

    • ROFL

  • Yes I do get hard and if she is on her period I can cum from cuddling.

    • Wut.

    • Yes it's the scent and it drive some of us guys wild

    • Are you fucking kidding me? Shit smells nasty. And I was 100% on my period that day, so...

    • Show All

  • Yes always.

  • If he's a 21yr old guy, he'll probably hump a tomato if it sounds like a good idea to him lol. PLEASE, PLEASE... take a lesson from an older woman. if you are not ready to become sexually active, you cannot continue the cuddling, dating-like stuff that's going on. Since he's already had sex, he'll want it to go further than it is now. Even if you've told him that, YOU MUST SHOW him that.

    • The only thing that I can add to your comment is that most men can get a hard-on walking past an open freezer door naked. It does not take much.

  • Um yes happens to me all the time but my bestfriend likes it when i get a bomer when we cuddle I don't know why i think it turns her on its not my fault she's so damn SEXY. ^_^

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