Sexual Relationships
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Cannot get my girlfriend to finish with actual sex?

My new girlfriend and I have been having sex for a few weeks now. She was a virgin so I didn't know what to expect when it first happened, but it has been really good as is our chemistry. However she cannot get off when we have sex. She enjoys it a lot (I can tell) however she can never reach that climax. I've tried so hard and cannot make it happen. She only gets off when I use my hands on her clit. Is there anything I may be doing wrong? It's really frustrating because I'm the first guy she has had sex with and I don't want to disappoint her. It kinda makes me feel inadequate even though I've always thought I was good. And I have a pretty big penis so that's not the issue lol.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • this is copied and pasted from another question similar to yours...

    well the orgasm you experienced during dry humping is very different from vaginal sex.

    try masturbating and finding or g-spot within your vagina on your own or have your bf finger you and find that spot. it's on the upper side of your vagina like under the stomach about 3 inches in. it can be difficult to find and stimulate. different positions can also help you stimulate that area.

    don't get too frustrated. the female orgasm is difficult sometimes to have especially early on. but stressing and worrying about it will not help. be patient, practice, and try different things... and until you can orgasm vaginally often maybe have your bf do oral or finger your clitoris so you can at least have an orgasm that way

    ... also something to keep in mind is only about 33% of women are able to experience orgasms and even fewer constantly experience vaginal orgasms.

  • 1. romantic setting, mood, lack of distractions/interruptions/problems
    2. loooong foreplay, even if an hour's massage has to kick it off (priming the pump won't always have to take this long, it's conditioning/training at this juncture of your relationship)
    3. she ALWAYS cums first, whatever it takes, be it fingers, toys, talk, music, eventually she'll know what to "order" as this menu grows
    4. then dominate her

    • Thank you for the response

    • I skipped the part about her past experiences screwing things up, if any = also takes time to overcome

Most Helpful Girls

  • No you are not doing anything wrong. Do keep in mind that it is a new experience to her so she will need time to figure out how and where is the right spot.
    In the mean time, pay close attention to her body language. When you are doing something that is heightening her arousal, her body will respond. So you will need to ease and press then intensify things to give her the big O.
    If it doesn't happen initially, keep at it.
    Dont be afraid to use every means necessary to get there too ;)

    • Ok thank you :)

  • My boyfriend (who is my first sex partner as well) and I have been having sex since January of this year and he has yet to get me to cum using any method whatsoever. The only way, in fact, that I have ever been able to reach orgasm, is by using a vibrator on my clit. I, like your girlfriend, still really enjoy the sex with him though. So she's not the only one.

  • have her play with herself while you have sex. It's rare to get off just by penetration.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • normal!
    besides, hey, it's all new to her, and she'll need some time to explore her own reactions.
    so, have fun, both of you!
    don't try too hard (with penetration) or she'll get anxious (and you will too).
    sex is enjoyment, not pressure to cum.
    get comfortable with making her cum in other ways...
    and... don't forget to use also your mouth and tongue!!! ;)

  • My wife also cannot have an orgasm through intercourse. I give her an orgasm through oral most of the time, fingering the others, then we have sex. All good.

  • That's totally normal, don't worry about it.

    • This is common then?

    • Normal yes but DO worry about it - enough to DO something about it, congrats on asking for help, now experiment... each has their own "combination" lock

    • It's VERY common, yes.

  • That's normal. It's hard for women to get off with penetration alone.

  • It's not anything you're doing wrong. Many women need clitoral stimulation to get off. Don't beat yourself up over it. Relax and enjoy it.

  • There are many woman who cannot climax from intercourse alone (me included) so that is normal, try giving oral that's what works for me.

  • Most women can't get off just from penetration. I've known a few but it's very unusual, and even rarer if they can do it consistently.

    You're doing the right thing with a helping hand, and if she's enjoying it that way then carry on!

  • Even if she did orgasm with just penetration it's more pleasurable and intense with clitoral stimulation

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