Sexual Relationships
+1 y

How likely is it for a man have semen stains in his underwear and not have had sex?

My b/f and I have only been together a few months. Throughout the course of our relationship, I have had feelings that something just wasn't right b/c a lot of his behavior just simply does not add up. Now that we live together, this week he has switched to night shift 2 days with a coworker. He is always going to church at night, too, and volunteers there even on Sun in the nursery. Yesterday the one day he actually got home in a reasonable amount of time (he's usually an hour after his shift ends getting home, and work is 20-25 minutes away), he had to bolt off to church. So he was gone from 4 p. m. until about 9:15. The day previous, he had been extremely lovey-dovey, more so than usual, giving me lots of attention and even wanted sex twice. Then last night after this church outing, he came straight in and got a shower. He dug out the surgical hand scrub from out from under the sink (he uses for his medical job) and used that instead of his usual soap evidently. His shirt was soaked with water that he had on (we do have a leaky shower head that sprays, but usually I think he's nude when he turns it on b/c it never happened before). I did kinda question him getting home a bit late (he should have been here by about 8:30 if church ended when he said it did, so not a big diff) and he said a parent was late getting there for the boys group he teaches. This kinda stuff happens all the time, but it's always only like a half hour or an hour that he is late after whatever thing supposedly ended. I also found that he only has 2 pair of undies in the hamper and it's been 6 days since washing. I pulled out the closest black pair and there were a couple long white crusty streaks and then a drip spot near the top/elastic. It also had a bodily/sweat smell, like kinda musty odor to it. He went from work, to home for just a few minutes, then to church so we didn't do anything all day and he surely didn't masturbate at work, so is this just precum or cause for concern?
Updates:
+1 y
Oh, I also wanted to add I work at night, so this is why I don't/can't attend the church stuff, etc., with him. Not really my thing anyway.
+1 y
I apologize for the length and not getting to the point more quickly, was just trying to be as detailed as possible. This is like 3 areas and a drop at the top, thick, and white on his dark underwear, and there wasn't any time for wet dreams unless he fell asleep at work. It's the only night he has come home this week and used surgical stuff for his shower (he has soap in there), which raised a red flag to me, along with being the only night he wasn't super affectionate and not interested in sex
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • well he could just have pre-cum dripping and leaving stains but it sounds to me like what you found is a bit more. the musty odor really isn't evidence of anything other than he is a man.

    I guess my thoughts are...
    - who would he be cheating on you with?
    - can you verify that he is actually going to church? if he was going to church it wouldn't leave much time for a sexual dalliance that would get him home an hour late... not saying he wouldn't have time but it wouldn't be much time

    ultimately it sounds like you have lots of concerns about this and typically where there is smoke there is fire. but do you have sort of insecurity issues about cheating? have you been cheated on in the past? has he cheated on you or other gf's?

    • To add to what I said above: In other words, it's a mess, and none of his other underwear have it. I know I probably seem super paranoid for me. I guess it's because yes, I have been cheated on, but only was able to prove that once, I do have insecurities, and I feel like there are certain red flags I can't deny with him like random texts and being hemmed up at a liquor store an hour before our date, for example, along with seeing so many out there being unfaithful nowadays. He said he never cheated, cept when a teen, but IDK. esp with what he talks about in his sleep...

    • Now, here's another example tonight - he has been gone since 4:45, now 11:02 he texted to say he was flying home in the rain to get here. He said they re-did the play or something like that, then he had to grab food. It was supposed to be done at 9, but instead he texted he was leaving at 10:20, and it's 11:08 now. I know I'm probably sounding obsessive, but this is becoming the typical routine every night or every other night. But I can't say he's cheating unless the girl knows about me/sees him text, b/c he is texting me the whole time pretty much. Him always being late makes me think he's not where he says and that he's losing track of time and/or having too much fun.

    • well something to consider is even if he isn't cheating is it good to be in a relationship with someone who is so unreliable? you make a good point about him constantly texting which could lead you believe that he isn't cheating because it would mean he is constantly texting you while with another girl... all that said it sounds to me like you need to have a frank conversation. you can admit that you've been concerned about his behaviors. you recognize they might be insecurities but you can also paint the picture for him. detail all the tardiness and excuses that surround it. explain to him that you want to believe him but the frequent lateness, excuses and seemingly unaccounted for lapses of time have you at a point where you feel like you can't just ignore it... don't make it a confrontational thing but make it very clear that you are feeling very concerned

  • Talk to him and tell him that you have some worries that you don't spend enough time together and it does not feel right. Communication is the only way to get to the truth.
    If he had another woman he would be changing underwear every day and looking after his appearance. Clean shirts and smelling nice and all that stuff. Then you should be worried.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Keep your eye peeled, I could be wrong but something seems fishy

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 11

  • I have a hard-on most every day. Probably just pre-cum but you never know. If you can't trust him now then you'll never be able to.

  • dont listen to any of the idiots who tell you he is cheating because you might end up hurting a genuine guy, think of his body like your own, do you leak fluids throughout the day answer probably, do we as men answer yes, there is areason you should change underwear every day. it probs just natural bodily fluid release

  • Seems like something is up; I feel like he's cheating with someone at the church or at night.

    • I feel that way, too. He is out of the house for some commitment every single night of the week, whether it's changing work hours with someone or going to church. Like tonight it seemed like he discouraged me from going. The play starts at 7, but he "had to be there" by 5. Church is about 20 minutes away, but it keeps him out of the house for about 5 hours each time. There's been other things. Like he went to jail once, and when he got out the first night he went to "family" and fell off the map for about 5 hours but claimed he just fell asleep and his stories didn't add up at all; in fact, were contradictory. This is why I went looking for evidence. I had to make him take 2 dating sites down and stop adding/commenting on skanky girl's pix on FB. I don't know if that's just something you guys do because you like looking, but i found it disrespectful and suspicious.

    • You could figure it if he's store not adding up by getting evidence; I'm guessing he drives to church and back. if yes check his car mile meter; if you drive to the church and back and it takes 10 that means it takes 10 for him. If numbers aren't close he's not going to church. Does his phone get a lot of messages or calls? does he smell different? ? Also the dates sites are a big flag with comments on Facebook; guys do this but it's not ok when you're not single. The more you talk about this tells me he's hiding something; not sure what but he's hiding something. There is a chance it's just nothing but I would follow my gut if I was you. I recommend going down to the church and ask around all the people; and there a play toinght? Google it and call the church; it's Halloween where I am and it's hard to imagine a play :/

    • I'm not sure he's always at church when he says he is, but i know he went the night of said incident b/c he came home with food from there. He said he had to cook from 5-7 in the kitchen and do class from 7-8, and he got home a little after 9. The play is on the church's Facebook so it is really going on right now, and he's in it for sure b/c we visited his friends and they all talked about the play this weekend. The FB thing, he was adding girls, but he did stop and he deleted all of the chics for me, but that still doesn't answer the WHY he did it, and that's what bothers me. Harmless flirting? Looking at photos? Trying to hook up? that's what I don't know. and the dating sites, he said his phone left him logged on and he only went back on to delete it, deleted the whole app off his phone, then after my encouragement he "got help" to delete the actual profile, or hide it at least. He's always got some excuse to be away, for sure, and it'll be a good 4-5 hour thing more often than no

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  • He was probably jacking off

  • Very. Very. Very. Very easy. If a guy masturbates and just puts his dick back in his underwear because he doesn't want to be bothered or he was aroused for too long and he pre came. For 90% of dudes there are always cum stance in our underwear.

    • Thank you. I'm just saying, if he WAS aroused how did he get that way (and he definitely didn't have a chance to masturbate)? at work and church, because we didn't do anything at all yesterday, he acted very distant/uninterested. Just kept saying he was tired.

    • At leat if you're not a nazi on the hygiene. some guys are quite copious when it comes to precum, so it is a posibility that could be the case. And seeing as he was quite frisky before work, there's a fair chance you (ask op) were on his mind. I wouldn't really worry

    • Guys, can get aroused for no reason and if he stays like that he might pre-cum. People act like guys genitals are simple, but ours are just as interesting.

  • Well guys get involuntarily erections at least 7 times a day and it's not uncommon for a little bit to come out now and than.

  • You sound like a suspicious mess.

  • do you know if he masturbates? if he does, after masturbating bits of semen can still get out sometime after ejaculation

  • Pretty sure the only times I've ever had semen stains in my underwear I didn't have sex. Dry humping maybe, but not sex!

  • Wet dreams will cause that. I used to have lots of stains from frequent wet dreams years and years ago. I guess I never got the memo that you should wash on cold because heat will "set" the stains... :(

  • There was too much text here. You should get to the point more quickly.

    Precum will leave a streak when it dries. Your vag mucus will too.
    If he was aroused during the day for any reason, he might get it.
    Dried semen will have mass, You can scratch it off.

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