My boyfriend doesn't get hard anymore?

[Anonymous]

So I started dating my boyfriend around 3 months ago... he always used to get hard when we make-out but now he doesn't anymore. And he doesn't seem as into "doing things" as he was before. He always just wants to hang out and do stuff together but shies away from bedroom activities. I'm 24, he's 27. I'm very athletic, play lots of sports, have solid abs, and a butt from squats. I know he has been self conscious since our relationship started because everyone says I am way out of his league. (he has started going to the gym and running everyday now) We aren't having problems in the relationship and he is constantly asking me to be around and hang out... it just never seems to be of a sexual nature. I think thats all of the basics about us... Why would this be? I've never had something like this happen in past relationships..

[AdamThomas]

What kind of running does he do? Endurance type exercise lowers increases cortisol levels, which lowers testosterone levels, therefore lowering his libido. He's better off doing shorter, higher intensity cardio like sprints that actually boosts testosterone levels (look at how muscular and lean a sprinter looks in comparison to a long distance runner). As for the gym, tell him to make sure he lifts heavy, rather than lifting for sets of 10, do big compound movements and lift heavier for 5 reps.

Then you need to look at his diet - get plenty of red meat, fish, cruciferous veg, less simple carbs more fats, cut out sugar, soya, alcohol.

[rjroy3]

Honestly, if it's not something mental, he might be masturbating shortly before coming to see you. I remember doing that before going to see my girl one time... never again. You just don't feel the excitement as much and it takes longer to get hard if you dumped your entire load

[Asker]

lol, masturbating right before he comes to see me seems counter-productive :p

[rjroy3]

Lol I mean. Not RIGHT before going lol. But if he got turned on and masturbation even an hour beforehand it could still make it difficult. But yes, I agree. Counterproductive xD

[LastGirlScout]

The honeymoon period has probably come to an end, this is where the real relationship starts.

[jackyct]

his sex drive either got lost or he's jerking off daily. good luck finding out.

[Asker]

any suggestion on how to find out? Is this something I should ask/address?

[jackyct]

just ask him right away and complain if you don't get enough action. if he's a p*rn addict then he most likely won't admit it anyway

[Asker]

ahh, gotcha, thanks! haha

[AsianGirlLover21]

Just talk to him about this, start gentle but become clearer until the conversation gets where you want it to be as then you'll be able to work it out together ;)

As for the question what it would be:

It could be a mental problem, I've had that because it got soft a few times and then it works on your mind every time, could be his case. So talk about it and some personal advice that got my self esteem rolling again would be Cialis, just google it ;)

[slackercruster]

Sounds like he is watching p*rn and chronically masturbating... unless he is sick. Or... a queer.

In any case why isn't he eating you and fingering your clit to orgasm? Does he suck your toes and rim you? You sound like a dream girl, he should be working you over like an octopus even with a softy. No excuse for not devouring you like a fat kid eats pizza.

[slackercruster]

Ask him if he is doing p*rn and daily MB sessions. If so, send him to S. A. Maybe help for chronic masturbators. If the soft serve continues from no fault of his own, train him how to pleasure you from your toes on up. Good luck!

https://www.sa.org/

[Jacques529]

Make him feel like a man outside of the bedroom and he'll make you feel like a woman inside of the bedroom

[Asker]

How would I go about doing this?

[Jacques529]

Do you trust everything he says and does?

[Asker]

I mean, "everything" is a loaded word. I trust him, and he does what he wants, I don't tell him what to do. The same is true in reverse, he trusts me to make my own decisions and does not tell me what to do. Pretty much mutual respect in that area I think? @Jacques529

[Jacques529]

What I meant by everything is maybe there's one area -- just one -- where he does not feel like a man. Sometimes that does it.

[Jacques529]

Correction: not "doesn't feel like a man". A more accurate description would be "feels defeated". This is to say hr doesn't needs to feel on top of everything all the time. Just not burdened too much by anything

[Asker]

Is this area something neutral... like stress at school or are you meaning this area might be something I'm doing... like beating him at wrestling?

[Ihav2fart]

Maybe his sex drive took a dive, it could be stress or fatigue.

[Anonymous]

It could be do to him to feel like he does not deserve you and other people pointing out that you are out of his league makes it even worse. That is what happened to me when I was dating my ex.

[Asker]

hmm, I see... I've actually never considered this before. I kinda always imagined this would work in reverse, you know... he feels extra "cool" because he got a prize out of his league while I would feel let down because I could 'do better'?

[Anonymous]

Well first things in the bedroom always slow down after a bit. Maybe his exercising has also affected his sex drive. Talk to him about it and be open and honest.

[Anonymous]

Try viagra

[Anonymous]

It's the end of the honeymoon phase. His current behavior is an excellent sign of more long term potential. the fact that he isn't constantly looking for sex, but still wants to spend tons of time with you shows that he cares about you, as a person, and that he is happy as is. it is possible that he just has a low sex drive which is nothing to worry about.