Boyfriend hates me, there's no intimacy and he likes p*rn more than me?

[amberos]

We've been together for almost two years. We have 8 month old twins together. We've lived together for two months so far. Our relationship has always been so rocky. Of course our "honeymoon" stage was amazing. Sex all the time, compliments, endless affection, I actually felt love. I got pregnant and that ended. We had sex less and less. He always had something bad to say about me. "Why don't you dress up anymore?" "Your stretch marks are so bad" "Take your glasses off I don't like them" We had sex maybe once a month if I was lucky. We fought a lot. They came 2 months early because I ended up going into labor from the stress of him breaking up with me. He looked his ex up almost everyday. He always lied about who he talked to. He said checking out another girl was considered cheating, yet he talks to them? Now, after babies, it's way worse. We fight a lot. But we did have sex a good amount. I've lost 70 pounds since I gave birth. I weigh less than before them. I just need to tone up a little and I'll be good. Now that we live together, there's literally nothing. I get up at 7 with the kids. He stays in bed untl 4 pm when he has to go to work. He takes a shower gives them a kiss and leaves without saying a word to me. He comes home from work, comes in while I'm sleeping, says hi, and goes out to the living room to sleep and watch tv. He hasn't slept in the same bed with me since we've moved in here. He stays up all night to watch p*rn. Update : This really hurts me because he is willing to do that, but when I'll be laying in bed wearing his favorite lingerie, all he does is ask me why I'm wearing it and leaves the room. I work really hard to look better. I worked out in just my bra and underwear this morning in front of him and he told me to put some clothes on. He has no interest in me at all. At night, he looks up things like "*celebrity* hot nudes" or "naked girls in *city*" I'm afraid he's going to cheat on me since he knows so many people here

[allnite69withme]

I know sometimes accidents happen, but why do so many women have children with me before they get married and have a legal committment? I am not talking about morality here, I am talking about common sense. IF you have kids with a guy befoere you know what he will be like in a committed relationship like marriage, you put yourself AND, more importantly, young children in a situation that may leve them without support. I have seen it so much. I wish I know why women do this so much nowadays.

[AustinMan]

Stick a fork in this mess. It's done. Start putting things in motion to move him out and get your child support in place. Get a great lawyer so he'll have to pay the max. It sounds to me like the abuse will only intensify so save your kids and get him out of your life.

[Part6fam]

I know this will hurt but he sounds like he has lost interest in u. I know it's easy for me to say but, either go into couples counselling and find out what's up or leave him before things get bitter between u two. it's important for the kids that u guys get along even if u aren't together.

[Anonymous]

I just hope your kids didn't see you working out in your underwear... sounds like you should start paying attention to your kids instead of this guy who sounds like a total douche and you let him walk all over you...

[Arab_Cutie1033]

Best advice is to save a day for just you two. Have a family member watch the kids and spend a night to reconnect emotionally and physically.

[Iron_Lions]

I fully agree with her. Its more than obvious the attraction is fading due to stress.

[slackercruster]

Send him to S. A.

Tell him it is over if he does not lay off the p*rn and act like a man with his g/f. He not only watches p*rn but he is masturbating like a jack rabbit to it as well. So of course, nothing left for you.

[madhatters4]

I'm sorry to hear about this...

"I'm afraid he's going to cheat "
I think him cheating at this point is the least of your problems. The love is gone. For whatever reason, whether it's kids, or just the relationship has run it's course it sounds like there is little to no love in the relationship. I think you need to communicate your concerns and desires to try and improve things. It may require lots of work on your part and probably some sort of relationship therapy.

[summiter]

He is a total looser. I know the kids complicate things but he is not even being a good father to them. You should not have to do all the work raising the kids! His lack of sex, even when you want some and have gotten back in shape is disgusting. Talk with your parents/friends, come up with a plan ( get an attorney so you can get child support) and then dump him!

[yaddayaddayadda02]

The relationship is over. You need to start making plans to get out, figure out custody/support and find your own place.

[rthomas43]

Y'all have kids involved and a grocery list of problems. Have y'all talked about seeing a relationship counselor?

[Roycaryn]

I'm sorry to hear that, especially due to the fact that you now have two kids caught in the middle. Like someone else said, all you can really due is tell him to wake up to the fact that he's now responsible for a family of his own, like it or not. If he can't deal with it, that's the final straw.

[Marstalk]

That is pretty fast for living together. I would do as those below have said schedule a date night. And do them fairly consistently. If after while there is no real improvement I would seek some form of directed open conversation.

[RationalMale]

Uh... that sounds like a relationshit, no offense. I mean, unless you two go to counseling and some miracle change happens...

I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you two weren't planning on having kids?

[happygo]

He sounds like an idiot. Seek professional help. I know it must be hard with little ones but you deserve love and respect that he is not providing.