Why am I the hornier one in the relationship?

Anonymous

I thought men are known to be the horny ones? I get horny and tell my boyfriend and he can say "not today" or "i'm not in the mood" no problem! but I'm always horny. I just sent him a bunch of dirty messages and he said "thats gonna have to wait" and i said "why? i can drive over right now and we can fuck and go to sleep" and he said "lol not tonight" LIKE WTF. I see all these jokes on fb about girls telling there boyfriend they are horny and how hey desperately try to get to there girlfriends. but for him it doesn't matter. its really frustrating cuz i dont like masturbating..

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Most Helpful Guys

Sinister Yoda
+1 y
What. The. Fuck, indeed. I would off jumped your bones through the damn phone! To sum it up without too many words. You guys are just not sexually compatible. His sexual activity level is low and your's is high. I think you need to find someone who is going to satisfy your cravings. I mean I used to ditch class just to get to my exgf's place to have sex. I'm not going to turn down sex, who does that? Now, for those texts, I would tell you to save them because I'm on my way over to where ever the hell you are. Get READY!
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- Asker
  +1 y
  but me and him have amazing sex and he's horny when he's with me, but he doesn't like to have sleepovers and he only likes to see me maybe twice a week cuz it interfers with school... but i litterally am offering to show up at his house just for sex. i dont need to hang out and talk. just sex and bed. and he's saying no.
- Sinister
  +1 y
  @Asker he ONLY likes to see you twice a week? Uhhh how new is this r/s, because it sounds like he's acting like he's got you on a hook and that you'd come at his beck and call. Now that he has you he only needs you when HE sees fit. He's horny only when HE needs some. That's not a relationship. It interferes w/ school that's a complete fucking bullshit ass excuse. This dude's a lame. Find someone else, your just getting frustrated all that pent up sexual energy isn't good. Me and some of my exgfs would have sex like at least 4/5x a week if we had extra time we'd be fucking twice a day, also there's ALWAYS time for quickies!
- Asker
  +1 y
  when we are together we'll have sex like three times a day. but other then that he has to study and go to bed early and hang out with his buddies. Its extremely frustrating. I dont want to find someone else, he's really really good to me otherwise. I need to understand why he's like this and if there's something i could do to change it. and ya you're right, i would go to him the second he called for any reason. and i have no idea how to change that cuz i always wanna be with him
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- Sinister
  +1 y
  @Asker, hm well then what's he going to school for does he constantly get bombarded with h/w, lecture meets, study groups... what? From what you've said I think he's just super serious about school rather than the relationship you guys have. Hell, he may not even see this as a relationship, have you talked to him about how he feels this relationship is going? That question in of itself should let you know what's going on. If he's not serious then he's probably just trying to eliminate the connection so when he does end things for whatever reasons the blow won't be that bad... I don't know it could be a few things, really.
- Asker
  +1 y
  we actually broke up for three weeks (about 2 months ago) because he was worried about getting too serious, but we got through that and now he's more serious about our relationship than he was before. it could be the school work and homework issue, but that still doesn't make sense to me when all i'm asking is to show up at his house for sex and then sleep. it'll help him sleep better and i'll be happy to cuddle him all night. then leave in the morning when he goes to school... so how would that interfere with school? ughhhh lol this is so frustrating..
- Sinister
  +1 y
  @Asker WAIT you guys broke up and then ot back together? SMFH no wonder he's acting like that. He doesn't give a fuck about the relationship if this is his attitude, I mean I don't know a SINGLE guy who would say "oh no please stop with all your horny advances, I'm tired" to their wives, gfs or even a friends with benefits situation. Obviously he hasn't improved THAT much if cannot simply drop his pants at the mere sight of you. He's all about school not you sorry. I think it's best to cut your losses, actually you should have done that the first time and now you have to deal with all this frustration. I've never gone back to an ex and there's a reason for it. The good sex doesn't make up for all the headaches inbetween.
- Asker
  +1 y
  it was a complicated situation and i dont regret going back to him. we talked everyday well we were broken up trying to fix things so it wasn't much of a break up rather than us taking time to work out our issues.
- Sinister
  +1 y
  @Asker well if you want to stick around I won't tell you not to. You're just going to have to get used to not getting sex when you want or feel like it. That's pretty much all I've got left to tell you. Hope that works out for you.
Thewhitestdudeever Xper 6
+1 y
Some people, men and women, naturally have low sex drives, I am lucky I was born with an extremely high sex drive, women are still hard for me to keep up with though so I end up eating a lot of pussy haha. I love it though, I can lick for days straight haha
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Most Helpful Girl

kiks91 Xper 5
+1 y
Girl Im having the exact same problem as you are! I feel your pain! Like "Wanttoknow1" asked, could he be addicted to p*rn? My boyfriend just confessed that he thinks he is and im leaning towards that might be the problem for our issues...
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- Asker
  +1 y
  i wouldn't even know if thats the issue with my boyfriend... we dont really discuss how much he watches p*rn, but once in awhile me and him watch it together. have you tried watching it with him? it can actually be pretty sexy. he might be a little nervous about that at first but you should try it.
- kiks91
  +1 y
  I've tried to watch it together and he freaks out. I've sent him pictured of myself and he acts like he could care less...

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What Girls & Guys Said

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Wanttoknow1 Xper 4
+1 y
If he has never been to addicted or currently addicted to p*rn or drugs or if he isn't in a labor intense job or seeing someone else or is not in good health I'm not sure what the issue is.
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- Asker
  +1 y
  could he just be super stressed from school? he's in a difficult program and he studies a lot and has exams coming up... but i dont see why he wouldn't have sex! it would help him sleep way better.
- Wanttoknow1
  +1 y
  Yes, the most important sex organ is the brain and when stress gets in the way it can distract someone. Speaking from experience stress is very exhausting. Studying believe it or not can be labor intense if you literally spend hours at a time aside from other things. Sex may help him sleep but if he is already drained mentally and physically it would tough even if he is aroused and wanted to be intimate with you..
- Asker
  +1 y
  so if this is the case i'm just out of luck until he's done exams... -.-
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- Wanttoknow1
  +1 y
  Not sure. It sounds like you two are really into each other. Intimacy is a stress reliever provided he isn't exhausted. The fact that you and he have a relationship is testament of commitment even though you are climbing the walls. What you are going through may not compare to the thousands of Military wives who are also climbing the walls horny husbands are deployed for up to a couple of years, but that may not make you feel any better. If you and your bf Love each other and you have the same goals and wants and you can see each others heart and know this is true love, then you will get past this rough patch.
Jonny_ Guru
+1 y
A lot of guys think they are when they aren't really...
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Tractorbeam Yoda
+1 y
Do you mean that he will actually refuse sex for a whole day? He's got no sex drive. Find yourself a healthy man.
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- Asker
  +1 y
  when i'm not with him. if i send him a message asking him to hang out because i'm horny. he'll say no. i told him i would drive to his house, just to have sex and then go to sleep but he said no.
reptocarl Master
+1 y
He's seeing someone else, he's a closet queen, he's just not attracted to you though at his age he should get hard for any hole. Take your pick
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- Asker
  +1 y
  lol totally none of those! he's definitely not gay, he wouldn't cheat on me, he's def attracted to me,. its just only when he wants it. if i was directly in front of him he would have sex no problem,. but to ask him to hang out when i'm horny, its nearly impossible.
- reptocarl
  +1 y
  That's still unnatural. Something's up with this guy
- Asker
  +1 y
  i hate having to beg him, its stupid and pretty unfair. cuz when he's horny, even if i dont want sex, i make sure he gets the pleasure he needs.
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- reptocarl
  +1 y
  That's the way its supposed to be. Again he's hiding something
275153 Xper 6
+1 y
Women want sex more than men. They just know how to hide it better.
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Anonymous
+1 y
He seems selfish lmao. stop telling him you're horny in these situations and just be like I miss you.. I want you.. sort of say? I'm sure you can turn him on no problem.
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Anonymous
+1 y
Maybe he has a low libido
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Anonymous
+1 y
give him viagra LMFAO
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- Asker
  +1 y
  lmfaooo!! well he gets horny when i'm standing right in front of him. but he doesn't like to hang out more than twice a week, so if i'm horny and i want to see him so i start sending him dirty stuff. he'll say "not tonight".
- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  Maybe he's an introvert because I am and I can only handle hanging out with a person once and then I can't till like months later but just be patient!
- Asker
  +1 y
  ya but is that the same way for you with a significant other? i dont mind that he only wants to hang out twice a week, i know he likes his alone time.. but i'm literally offering to show up just for sex... and this happens all the time
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- Opinion Owner
  +1 y
  maybe because he just wants you to not use your sex up so much to where it becomes the opposite problem or you just lost your feelings for it and no, I have not had the same problem cause I never dated anyone.
Anonymous
+1 y
I dont know wot his problem is. he a fool. gurl, i'd lace u every day!
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