Why won't he kiss me in the mouth during sex?

OK I have a friend with benefits who I work with he's my supervisor he has a girlfriend and 2 kids an has told me his relationships not perfect but he's comfortable now we hook up @ least twice a week the sex is great he kisses my neck an my body but he won't kiss me in the mouth I really like him and want him 2 leave her so I let him do anything he wants sexually an he likes it but why won't he kiss me in the mouth? Do you think he will leave her 4 me?

Updates:
I'm not heartless! I didn't create their problems! Just recently I told him how I felt he says he's just not big on kissing since I brought it 2 his attention we've been kissing!
Ok some of your comments are just rude and mean I came here for advice not to be trashed on, I love him I'm not trying to be a homewrecker I just want him to love me back! So if your not gonna give me positive an uplifting advice then please don't post!

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • its not about being rude, its about the situation that hurts two innocent children that you're part off. ok some guys like to mess about and no one gets hurt, then there's relationships that go wrong in which case its a bigger man that breaks up. then there's the guy who lies to get what he wants taking your heart ie your most precious gift and dragging it along the gutter cos he's tired of f***ing his wife. lets be real. he needs to be clear with you if there's a future or not. but I don't think he should leave his family for you. hell no. I think he should separate if that's beyond repair. and I think you need to remember the two kids cos frankly that's what everyone else is seeing. if you want to call us mean and rude imagine what theyd call you. what would be a positive uplifting outcome for them? I ain't hating. I feel bad for you. love is love but if its hurting innocents to gratify you then what is the quality of your love? I know its a tough situation and there's a good chance you'll wing up getting hurt worse than anyone, but my advice is still the same. you're worth more than this, get out and tell him to come back when he's single - for a f***in year! take care

What Guys Said 25

  • Part of the answer is here : link Expect him to go where his kids are. You're just his mistress.

    • Well QA, there's still hope for you. my mom got divorced from her husband after many many years of him cheating on her. he freaked out when he got the divorce because he never planned on leaving her. I can guarantee you that you're not the only one (besides his wife) that this man uses for sex. I also bet he's all charming and taking care of you all the time..

  • I would say that your new guy friend is probably in it for a good time, which will peter out shortly.

  • People are judgmental and cynical. Not always, but usually by what they hear. You claim your not a home wrecker, but your actions speak different. You like a man who is in relationship already, rather than going after someone who is single. Perhaps he went after you first, but it still doesn't refute the fact that you allowed yourself to be with him. He has problems with his girlfriend, that doesn't mean he's "available". Plus he has kids. Are you saying you want the kids to be left with their mother? And perhaps he will just start over with you? If you say yes to any of these, then yes, you are somewhat heartless. Your going after a man who isn't entirely single. These aren't harsh comments, this is reality based on your decisions. How on earth you would think there could be any "uplifting" advice is beyond me.

  • I keep my opinions to myself but there's three optionshere they are1. he doesn't kiss you on the lips because he wants that only for his wife2. he doesn't kiss you on ya mouth because maybe you gave him head and he'll find that a bit distasteful3. your thinking to much into it and should be happy with what you have because he's town between you and your family so a kiss is far from his mind.Idk if he would because childern are a big thing. I think he would leave you before he leaves her because of all the difficult issues that will follow if he does move on. example - dead man walking. to admit an affair is like digging a hole 6 feet deep and dying.

  • May be he feels guilty about kissing in the mouth because of his girl friend.However, since it is an FWB relationship, don't worry about it. Also, don't base your friendship purely on the premise that he would leave his girl friend for you in some distant future. Test his love by making sure that he does favors for you and gives you expensive gifts. Since, he is your supervisor, make sure that he shows his love for you by giving you good raises, bonuses promotions and the kind of work you like. Borrow money from him to make him committed.To get him deeply attached to you, make sure that you give him fabulous sex. Find out what his fantasies are and fulfill them. Don't just stick to letting him do whatever he wants to do with your body. Do things with his body. For example, make sure that you give him great head.All the best.

    • "Since, he is your supervisor, make sure that he shows his love for you by giving you good raises, bonuses promotions and the kind of work you like. Borrow money from him to make him committed."Ugly reasoning :-P

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    • Exactly!

    • I agree with jacquesvol. its exactly what all those whores did when my dad f***ed them (he was married and had 2 kids too)

  • Why do you feel okay sleeping with a guy that is in a relationship and has 2 kids (I am assuming with his current girlfriend)? It doesn't make you heartless, but it does reveal a bit of selfish immaturity and poor decision making in my opinion. For one, sleeping with your supervisor is very unprofessional and unethical on both your parts. Two, regardless of whatever relationship problems he has, you should take the fact that he has relationship problems, and that he doesn't have a problem seeking sexual satisfaction outside of a committed relationship when he is having problems as a sign of his character and of potential things to come if anything more serious were ever to develop between you two. If he will cheat on her when things are rough (maybe they are rough because of him?), then he will probably cheat on you too.

  • I think he just doesn't want to get emotionally involved and doesn't want to lead you on. He has two kids, the chances of him leaving that family are very slim, sorry :(

  • Well, ignoring that wildly dramatic situation... :)Do you smoke? I'm grasping at straws here, but that'd be about the only reason I'd avoid kissing someone during sex.

  • seriously. your wasting your time. i understand you feel a connection with this dude but he's got a girl and two kids.hes not leaving her.he's ur supervisor. his job is in the line if the relationship between you two got out to the public. I doubt he's gonna take that risk in this time of recession.my advice stop giving it up to him and see how he reacts.talk to him about it. (but I take no responsibility if you get fired.)im sorry for some of these comments being so rude but trying reading your own question from third person's point of view.

  • It's unlikely that he'll leave his girlfriend for you, since he still hasn't broken up with her, but it's still possible.If he does, you'll be dating a guy who is eager and willing to have kids with his girlfriend, cheat on her, then dump her for someone he supervises at work. I'm not sure you'd have much of a future together.

    • LOL! I like how straightforward you are! good point that if he is willing to do it to one girlfriend, then chances are the he will do it again!

  • Kissing is a very passionate and emotional act. It conveys a lot about someone and their feelings. Usually when you kiss someone there is that connection between them that is only present between those who love each other.What I'm trying to say is that you and him are just getting it on for the sake of getting it on. You're not in love with each other, you're not making love, you're just having fun sexually therefore there's no emotional connection. Maybe it was his way of saying, I'm just here for the sexual fun and I don't think kissing is appropriate.

  • Wow you are not looking at the big picture you are the other woman I'm sorry he will not leave his kids no matter how much you want him to and him telling you how bad he's relationship is one way of getting what he wants from you. You are being used plain and simple.

  • i think dear he is enjoying his life with you and his life partner to.he is having two kids and a wife to...not today them might be someday he will return back to them...then what you will do...?...be realistic ...move away from this guy and get engaged with someone who really loves you and like u...

  • So you do it . Kiss him passionately in his mouth. Lick his lips. Your partner may be addicted to porn movies and he is affected with what he see in porn. Cause there is rarely a kiss in the mouth in a porn movie

  • Hahahaha, please, he'll never leave her, and he'll never leave you either, unless he gets caught, or you stop giving him nasty sex. Homewrecker, as if there aren't a bunch of single lonely guys out there, you gotta bang the sleazeball with two kids. You have to review your life.

  • i Don't thank so its cheaper to keep her

  • Firstly, and I know its not really a place to say, you are getting used. Just look at it, the guy has a girlfriend and two kids and he's still getting with you. Don't get attached to him, because if he did leave her, and ends up with you, what's to say he won't turn around and do exactly the same to you?Anyway your question, as he's just using you to get off, he doesn't want the attachment of kissing you, kissings a very close thing, kinda. If he kisses you then its taking it to the next level because its the show of some commitment, which he doesn't want, all you are to him by the sounds of it is a piece of meat.

  • ha. you're a beautiful precious human being. but that's why you need to get your self out of this situation cos it cheapens you darling and your worth more than that. seriously.

  • Ok the cheating guy is not big on kissing.? He's not a passionate guy he just likes to bust a nut. His wife is probably a frigid bitch and won't suck him but has his children. He really likes his kids because they are young and family etc. Yes, to answer your question, he will never leave his wife for you. He just wants to keep F***** you until the end of time. You called it right "Friends with Benefits" Get a raise at least! I mean get his job at least... haha

  • Stop seeing him now.Why be concerned with stupid stuff like mouths when it's your heart you should be worrying about. Whatever HIS problems are with his partner and children, it's not your problem to solve. In fact, you are making it worse and complicating it.I think there is something about not wishing to be personal whilst having sex with you. It's a subtle sign about intimacy and it allows him to 'do it' without looking you in the face. It's a sign that he's just doing it for sex and not really thinking about who you are. Perhaps even pretending you are her!Stop it now!Johntheinfotainer.com

  • hes not going to love you back because he has a girlfriend and two kids so please do not waste ur time and find a better guy

  • YOU ARE A BOOTY CALL! YOU ARE GETTING USED FOR SEX!

  • for the kissing part do you give him oral before you guys start having sex? if yes then don't expect him to kiss you in the mouth because you just sucked his member. Do you think he will leave his girlfriend and 2kids for you I mean come on be realistic if he wanna leave them he would do that long time ago before he met you.

  • its perfectly possible that he will leave her for you and its perfectly possible he will leave you for someone else.. since he has major commitment issues because he has kids and a girlfriend and you.. as far as kissing you in the mouth.. maybe your breath stankS?

  • I read this question and hope this works out well for you.

What Girls Said 21

  • kissing is more intimate, you'd have to love someone to kiss them. I believe it means his heart belongs to someone else. that's why he doesn't want to kiss them. he's an adult and he should know what he's doing is going to hurt his family eventually

  • No, he won't leave her- he's using you for sex and the lack of kissing signifies that because a kiss on the mouth is an intimate and caring act, the kind he probably reserves for his girlfriend alone, you're simply the woman he's sleeping with...I'd say 'sorry' but if you're happy to be in such a 'relationship' you have to bear the consequences of that xxx

  • this sucks, you're pretty, confused, and honestly my love, you are being used. Kissing on the mouth during sex for some, its like making love and BEING in love. Its unfortunate he is using you. You deserve better. You may think you love him, because the sex is amazing and he says sweet things (bc he WANTS to get you in bed) If I were you, I would exit this relationship before drama comes out of it, example, the other woman finding out, the kids hearing about it, or you getting hurt, example: he leaves you for the other woman or you find out he has like 5 other women as well.. The only real way to find out where you two stand, is by asking him, whether it be by letter, email, text, face to face.. But you need to think long and hard about what's going on, what you would do if he doesn't leave his other girl for you, how you would feel if you were the other girl that he's cheating on (the woman with the kids), your behaviour is understandable, but in the same boat, trashy. And you can't get mad at that, because you know that if you weren't ever in this situation, and this scenerio was happening to you (ex:your man you have kids together he cheats on you with a gorgeous girl) you would be calling this girl all kinds of names and thinking so low of her. You're gorgeous and you deserve better, get out now before its too late! God bless

  • No way he's leaving her, he would've already.. Sorry to say this but you're his booty call.. He doesn't want to kiss you on the lips, because it's something for a girl he care about and love.Guys ain't into kissing the lips that much, and you're being CHEAP! Sorry that's the truth! Even if he leaves her he won't be with you, not for long at leas!You wanted the truth from our point of view! that's my advice! leave him..before he leaves you anyway!

  • You have the exact mentality of every woman who cheats with another girl's man and justifies it in her mind.1) You didn't create the problems but you can clearly see how he deals with his relationship problems: find another girl to sleep with when you're tired of your actual girlfriend.2) You should have more respect for yourself than to be letting a man lay up with you that is going home to another woman and have sex with her as well. I don't care what he says to you, he is having sex with his girlfriend. Please don't be any more of a fool than you have been.3) He will NOT treat you any better if you two got together. You can think that you won't be as much trouble as her or treat him better, etc etc etc, but the only perfect woman to this kind of man is the woman with no self-esteem he is sleeping with while he's cheating on his girlfriend. Right now, that is you.4) You do every woman a disservice when you help a man cheat. You realize you are HELPING him cheat, right? And I want you to find some relationship where they started out with lies and cheating that turned out to be great relationships when the person finally broke it off with their girlfriend/boyfriend. You will not find not ONE. It's a destructive way to start a relationship.5) You are heartless, to a degree. I know how it feels to really wanna be with a guy who has a girlfriend, but I would NEVER allow him to cheat on her, at least not with me. And if he's willing to cheat on her - not a slip up kiss or something (cheating still but better than the following), I mean sex or something else that takes pre-meditated thoughts and actions - he is not worth my time. Why? Because he won't treat me any better.Girl, wake up. Wake the hell up. I've seen this Lifetime Movie way too many times. Everyone ends up broken up and sometimes someone's dead at the end. Give it up. And if you had any remorse, you would tell his girlfriend he's cheating scum and make sure she finds someone better.

    • This is one of the best posts on this topic.

    • Thank you :)

  • hello! I understand what you feel right now but I have not yet been to this kind of situation and I pray I really won't because this is not an easy one to get over with!huh! I may sound a bit nega but this is my view and would just want you to open even just one of the pair of ur eye. get what I mean? I guess he doesn't like you romantically. if he doesn't why does he had sex with you and to think it happened not just once...severeal times. he does it to drove his thought away. he wanted to escape from reality and to consider that both of you are friends I guess he is comfortable doing it with you for you understands him and he got papered whenever the two of you are together. u see, lovers realy started kissing before they get into bed it is because they are inlove with each other and that sex is just the expression of their love. don't be upset with what I've said but I guess this would be the great time to think about yourself. give both of you a break.to relax and think and feel what's inside.romantic relationship does not rooted on intimate things you shred together. it's an unexplainable feeling. if you give the both of you a break that means: . 1. u'll be out of his life temporarily and he'll be able to think about his life. if you really matter to him or he was just able to forget his family life it is because you are there. 2. all of ur questions will be answered if both of you could have a break. 3. you too could reall ythink about how important he is in your life and be ready to whatever answer he will have when both of you meet again. either its a yes or no!enjoy life! I know you are a bright gurl and you really know how to get out from this better than what I think and can it's just that right now you can't see yourself over all of these things that's why ui can't think right.pray and get well. mwah!

  • Oh my god...Your a booty call.I'm sorry.he has a girlfriend an too kids.If he really liked you he would probably be with you.Get some self respect.Your really pretty! you deserve better! don't be a home wrecker!

  • Hi! I just read all this what you said what they all said and I am not gonna lie I cried a little bit for both sides of the story its just honey you are amazingly hot like wow and you do deserve so much better than a guy that has kids already and a girlfriend or whatever she is to him you deserve to be worshiped by a guy that will love you for you and give you great sex ya know and I am sure you could get that if you weren't already inlove with this man which you may or may not be I mean friends with benefits can be great but when you start getting the will he leave her for me or even the will he ask me to be his girlfriend wife etc. Then that's when ur starting to fall for him and that's when you could get hurt it sucks I'm kinda in the same situation mine has a somewhat bizZare twist tho but if you really only want great sex with him then that's great just keep having great sex with him but if you are going to want more than just sex like him to leave her for you then its a 50/50 chance but you gotta think about his kids too he may leave her for you move in with you and live with you for the rest of ya'lls life and ya'll be happy forever but those kids lost a father that will never be there for them that won't be part of their life now and no you are not a bad person no ur not a homewrecker no ur not a skank or anything else he is ur just the girl that fell for the guy in a bad situation ya know I only bring up this point because my aunt whom is also my sister because my grandparents adopted me when my mother died when I was seven marryed a man that has 3 ex wifes and then had two kids together they did get marryed but now he asked for a deviorce and has been cheating on her the whole time they have been together and she is so upset that she almost lost her job and he left her with no money and the kids doesn't want anything to do with them and zach stutters like a cartoon character now and grace has twirled her poor hair till its fell out all I'm saying is he is the bad person not you just think about it he could do that to you he could leave her for you ya'll could be happy or you think so and ya'll could have kids together and then he leaves you for someone else wouldn't that hurt more than right now if you found a guy that would hurt you in the future or now and don't you want to be able to trust him always what if ya'll get together and then he cheats on you or what if he is now? Can you ever really know? You look like such a nice person it would be a shame to see you get hurt if you ever wanna talk I'm here for you :)

    • Sorry, but the way you worded some things, struck me odd.. I don't see how her being "amazingly hot like wow" and "look[ing] like a nice person" means she "deserves so much better." If she had been cheated on then yes she deserves better. But by f***ing a man she had pre-knowledge was already taken (and had kids), she deserves every bit of what she gets out of it. I know you can't really help who you fall for, but you can be tactful and wait until his other relationship is truly OVER..

  • No he will never leave her. You make it easy and comfortable. He may see kissing as intimate, sex with most men with a mistress needs to be separated from his real life. I always say if a man leaves his girl and kids for you...He just created a new job opening-for a new mistress. Cheat with ya, cheat on ya. Stop making it so easy and comfortable for him. iF YOU want more. If you enjoy how it is then just adjust a little.If you pull the leave your family card or I WILL tell card...he will leave you in the dust.and how do you know these problems are real? perhaps he leaves out the parts he does to create the problems? Men want a mistress that listens and takes their side. oh boo hoo. I mean he is in a regular sexual relationship with you. guys suck.

  • I am not going to call you a homewrecker...but I will be honest with you. No he will not leave her for you...and even if he does, why would you want him? He is a cheater...he is cheating on her, and he WILL cheat on you. Plus, he is your supervisor...how very cliché'. How very tacky. Oh, the kissing the mouth...have you ever considered that kissing on the mouth is actually more personal than sex? I bet he has.

  • Woah wait do you seriously have a hope that he'll her leave for you? seriously? OMG! I hate to break it to you but you're obviously his booty call, what you're doing will NOT make him love you, sure he likes the things you let him do, but is that enough reason to love you? Nope, he doesn't kiss you on the mouth because he doesn't see you as someone respectful, you ask why? hmm maybe because you're sleeping with someone who is already in a relationship? And yeah you didn't cause their problems but you still did a very low thing, hooking up with someone who has a girlfriend? really?, my best advice for you is not to hope that he'll magically fall in love with you just because you let him do whatever he wants in bed, you should have more respect for your self and leave that guy, cause as I said before, you're clearly his booty call.

  • My friends with benefits doesn't kiss me at all we f*** but he sees kissing as something you do with someone you have feelings for... Doesn't think that about sex but oh well we love each other as friends and it's fun :D

  • you're stupid.

  • if he didn't break up with her before getting with you...he never will

  • I doubt he will leave her. It is actually pretty surprising when push comes to shove, how little great sex has to do with a guy choosing his partner. Right now he has the perfect arrangement, he's got his baby mama at home taking care of the house and kids and he's got you as a tasty treat on the side. Splitting up with her will be drama and guys don't enjoy drama. On top of it all he obviously has some other attachment to her that is keeping him hooked. Be prepared to know that when you enter into a FWB situation it has nothing to do with love and love does not develop from sex for guys, though it can definitely cause us gals to feel love. Guys completely and absolutely can have sex with you and continue to enjoy sex with you without any concern of falling in love. Knowing that he is your supervisor just makes it all the more likely you are going to end up hurt because if things do not go well, you will not only lose the guy but you will also not want your job anymore.

  • if you really like him, stop having sex with him. If you want him to be happy don't force him to choose between a slut (you look like one and act like one so I'm not judging you for your look =D) and his family. He doesn't kiss you maybe because you have no respect for yourself obviously and maybe you sleep with 2 or 3 other married man, and maybe you kissed them and he doesn't trust you so he doesn't wanna kiss you. or maybe you have bad breath... That being said... you are selfish. Would you feel good knowing his girlfriend and kids are alone because YOU?! I'm sure you don't really care lolland letting him f*** you the way he wants won't make him love you, this is the most stupid thing I've heard in my life... he's a jerk and maybe his girlfriend is not the hottest chick and maybe she is not too good in bed but obviously he loves her enough to stay with her even if he sleeps with a slut to satisfy his penis. Have a nice day Booty-call-with-the-big-boobs

  • I don't think he will leave her for you but I also don't think you are a homewrecker...you personally have no moral obligation to his girl or kids that is all on him...if a home was strong enough it couldn't be wrecked in the first place...I am not condoning what you are doing but I am saying that it is his moral obligation to do right by his girl and kids not yours...

  • You're a freaking home wrecker! It's girls like you that make relationships go down the tubes. Keep your legs closed and find your own man.

  • Wow itsdumb ignorant girls like you that because happy families to fail and kids left without fathers. Was daddy not there 4 you or somethin? Because what ur doin is pretty sick, and you think this is ok? Ur hopin that the family will fail? Just because he's a cheatin ass doesn't mean you mean anything to him. Look how much his real girlfriend means to him, and look at the girl he screws on the side and ask yourself if he cares about ne one but himself. Drop him drop it and kno you will never b with him and I don't kno y any self respectful woman would want to

  • You may not have created their problems, but are you helping them? I seriously doubt he'll leave her (unless she leaves him first) but even if he does, the two of you won't make it. (The statistics are against it, and you can be sure he'll cheat on you too. (And I agree with what everyone else says about the kissing. He changed it because you mentioned it.) In the meantime, why do you want to contribute to the destruction of a family? His kids deserve a dad who lives with them. It is hard for him to direct his attention where it should be so long as he's boinking you.

  • because men typically don't like kissing hoes in the mouth. kissing especially in the mouth is considered to be an intimate act so why would he do that with a jumpoff like you when he already has a girlfriend? since you brought it to his attention he's kissing you now probably only to keep getting sex from you. if he really wanted to be kissing you you wouldn't have had to bring it to his attention he would have just done it. seriously, do you think his girlfriend has to beg for a kiss?and no he probably won't leave her for you. why would he buy the cow (you) when he's getting the milk (easy sex) for free? yeah doesn't make sense.

    • Well put.

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