Why won't he kiss me in the mouth during sex?

[prettyandconfused]

OK I have a friend with benefits who I work with he's my supervisor he has a girlfriend and 2 kids an has told me his relationships not perfect but he's comfortable now we hook up @ least twice a week the sex is great he kisses my neck an my body but he won't kiss me in the mouth I really like him and want him 2 leave her so I let him do anything he wants sexually an he likes it but why won't he kiss me in the mouth? Do you think he will leave her 4 me?

[kamu99]

Hi! I just read all this what you said what they all said and I am not gonna lie I cried a little bit for both sides of the story its just honey you are amazingly hot like wow and you do deserve so much better than a guy that has kids already and a girlfriend or whatever she is to him you deserve to be worshiped by a guy that will love you for you and give you great sex ya know and I am sure you could get that if you weren't already inlove with this man which you may or may not be I mean friends with benefits can be great but when you start getting the will he leave her for me or even the will he ask me to be his girlfriend wife etc. Then that's when ur starting to fall for him and that's when you could get hurt it sucks I'm kinda in the same situation mine has a somewhat bizZare twist tho but if you really only want great sex with him then that's great just keep having great sex with him but if you are going to want more than just sex like him to leave her for you then its a 50/50 chance but you gotta think about his kids too he may leave her for you move in with you and live with you for the rest of ya'lls life and ya'll be happy forever but those kids lost a father that will never be there for them that won't be part of their life now and no you are not a bad person no ur not a homewrecker no ur not a skank or anything else he is ur just the girl that fell for the guy in a bad situation ya know I only bring up this point because my aunt whom is also my sister because my grandparents adopted me when my mother died when I was seven marryed a man that has 3 ex wifes and then had two kids together they did get marryed but now he asked for a deviorce and has been cheating on her the whole time they have been together and she is so upset that she almost lost her job and he left her with no money and the kids doesn't want anything to do with them and zach stutters like a cartoon character now and grace has twirled her poor hair till its fell out all I'm saying is he is the bad person not you just think about it he could do that to you he could leave her for you ya'll could be happy or you think so and ya'll could have kids together and then he leaves you for someone else wouldn't that hurt more than right now if you found a guy that would hurt you in the future or now and don't you want to be able to trust him always what if ya'll get together and then he cheats on you or what if he is now? Can you ever really know? You look like such a nice person it would be a shame to see you get hurt if you ever wanna talk I'm here for you :)

[AngelRaven89]

Sorry, but the way you worded some things, struck me odd.. I don't see how her being "amazingly hot like wow" and "look[ing] like a nice person" means she "deserves so much better." If she had been cheated on then yes she deserves better. But by f***ing a man she had pre-knowledge was already taken (and had kids), she deserves every bit of what she gets out of it. I know you can't really help who you fall for, but you can be tactful and wait until his other relationship is truly OVER..

[versusxiii]

You have the exact mentality of every woman who cheats with another girl's man and justifies it in her mind.

1) You didn't create the problems but you can clearly see how he deals with his relationship problems: find another girl to sleep with when you're tired of your actual girlfriend.

2) You should have more respect for yourself than to be letting a man lay up with you that is going home to another woman and have sex with her as well. I don't care what he says to you, he is having sex with his girlfriend. Please don't be any more of a fool than you have been.

3) He will NOT treat you any better if you two got together. You can think that you won't be as much trouble as her or treat him better, etc etc etc, but the only perfect woman to this kind of man is the woman with no self-esteem he is sleeping with while he's cheating on his girlfriend. Right now, that is you.

4) You do every woman a disservice when you help a man cheat. You realize you are HELPING him cheat, right? And I want you to find some relationship where they started out with lies and cheating that turned out to be great relationships when the person finally broke it off with their girlfriend/boyfriend. You will not find not ONE. It's a destructive way to start a relationship.

5) You are heartless, to a degree. I know how it feels to really wanna be with a guy who has a girlfriend, but I would NEVER allow him to cheat on her, at least not with me. And if he's willing to cheat on her - not a slip up kiss or something (cheating still but better than the following), I mean sex or something else that takes pre-meditated thoughts and actions - he is not worth my time. Why? Because he won't treat me any better.

Girl, wake up. Wake the hell up. I've seen this Lifetime Movie way too many times. Everyone ends up broken up and sometimes someone's dead at the end. Give it up. And if you had any remorse, you would tell his girlfriend he's cheating scum and make sure she finds someone better.

[sumina7]

This is one of the best posts on this topic.

[versusxiii]

Thank you :)

[SaucieMaMa]

this sucks, you're pretty, confused, and honestly my love, you are being used. Kissing on the mouth during sex for some, its like making love and BEING in love. Its unfortunate he is using you. You deserve better. You may think you love him, because the sex is amazing and he says sweet things (bc he WANTS to get you in bed) If I were you, I would exit this relationship before drama comes out of it, example, the other woman finding out, the kids hearing about it, or you getting hurt, example: he leaves you for the other woman or you find out he has like 5 other women as well.. The only real way to find out where you two stand, is by asking him, whether it be by letter, email, text, face to face.. But you need to think long and hard about what's going on, what you would do if he doesn't leave his other girl for you, how you would feel if you were the other girl that he's cheating on (the woman with the kids), your behaviour is understandable, but in the same boat, trashy. And you can't get mad at that, because you know that if you weren't ever in this situation, and this scenerio was happening to you (ex:your man you have kids together he cheats on you with a gorgeous girl) you would be calling this girl all kinds of names and thinking so low of her. You're gorgeous and you deserve better, get out now before its too late! God bless

[davyjones]

its not about being rude, its about the situation that hurts two innocent children that you're part off. ok some guys like to mess about and no one gets hurt, then there's relationships that go wrong in which case its a bigger man that breaks up. then there's the guy who lies to get what he wants taking your heart ie your most precious gift and dragging it along the gutter cos he's tired of f***ing his wife. lets be real. he needs to be clear with you if there's a future or not. but I don't think he should leave his family for you. hell no. I think he should separate if that's beyond repair. and I think you need to remember the two kids cos frankly that's what everyone else is seeing. if you want to call us mean and rude imagine what theyd call you. what would be a positive uplifting outcome for them? I ain't hating. I feel bad for you. love is love but if its hurting innocents to gratify you then what is the quality of your love? I know its a tough situation and there's a good chance you'll wing up getting hurt worse than anyone, but my advice is still the same. you're worth more than this, get out and tell him to come back when he's single - for a f***in year! take care

[chnseboi35]

Kissing is a very passionate and emotional act. It conveys a lot about someone and their feelings. Usually when you kiss someone there is that connection between them that is only present between those who love each other.

What I'm trying to say is that you and him are just getting it on for the sake of getting it on. You're not in love with each other, you're not making love, you're just having fun sexually therefore there's no emotional connection. Maybe it was his way of saying, I'm just here for the sexual fun and I don't think kissing is appropriate.

[theliteraryfeline]

I am not going to call you a homewrecker...but I will be honest with you. No he will not leave her for you...and even if he does, why would you want him? He is a cheater...he is cheating on her, and he WILL cheat on you. Plus, he is your supervisor...how very cliché'. How very tacky.

Oh, the kissing the mouth...have you ever considered that kissing on the mouth is actually more personal than sex? I bet he has.

[TheInfotainer]

Stop seeing him now.

Why be concerned with stupid stuff like mouths when it's your heart you should be worrying about. Whatever HIS problems are with his partner and children, it's not your problem to solve. In fact, you are making it worse and complicating it.

I think there is something about not wishing to be personal whilst having sex with you. It's a subtle sign about intimacy and it allows him to 'do it' without looking you in the face. It's a sign that he's just doing it for sex and not really thinking about who you are. Perhaps even pretending you are her!

Stop it now!

John

theinfotainer.com

[jusabarasida]

its perfectly possible that he will leave her for you and its perfectly possible he will leave you for someone else.. since he has major commitment issues because he has kids and a girlfriend and you..

as far as kissing you in the mouth.. maybe your breath stankS?

[jack89]

Firstly, and I know its not really a place to say, you are getting used. Just look at it, the guy has a girlfriend and two kids and he's still getting with you. Don't get attached to him, because if he did leave her, and ends up with you, what's to say he won't turn around and do exactly the same to you?

Anyway your question, as he's just using you to get off, he doesn't want the attachment of kissing you, kissings a very close thing, kinda. If he kisses you then its taking it to the next level because its the show of some commitment, which he doesn't want, all you are to him by the sounds of it is a piece of meat.

[shortie]

No, he won't leave her- he's using you for sex and the lack of kissing signifies that because a kiss on the mouth is an intimate and caring act, the kind he probably reserves for his girlfriend alone, you're simply the woman he's sleeping with...I'd say 'sorry' but if you're happy to be in such a 'relationship' you have to bear the consequences of that xxx

[DrJones]

It's unlikely that he'll leave his girlfriend for you, since he still hasn't broken up with her, but it's still possible.

If he does, you'll be dating a guy who is eager and willing to have kids with his girlfriend, cheat on her, then dump her for someone he supervises at work. I'm not sure you'd have much of a future together.

[blaubeca]

LOL! I like how straightforward you are! good point that if he is willing to do it to one girlfriend, then chances are the he will do it again!

[Karmann]

Hahahaha, please, he'll never leave her, and he'll never leave you either, unless he gets caught, or you stop giving him nasty sex. Homewrecker, as if there aren't a bunch of single lonely guys out there, you gotta bang the sleazeball with two kids. You have to review your life.

[bec-jess]

My friends with benefits doesn't kiss me at all we f*** but he sees kissing as something you do with someone you have feelings for... Doesn't think that about sex but oh well we love each other as friends and it's fun :D

[regular-guy]

Why do you feel okay sleeping with a guy that is in a relationship and has 2 kids (I am assuming with his current girlfriend)? It doesn't make you heartless, but it does reveal a bit of selfish immaturity and poor decision making in my opinion. For one, sleeping with your supervisor is very unprofessional and unethical on both your parts. Two, regardless of whatever relationship problems he has, you should take the fact that he has relationship problems, and that he doesn't have a problem seeking sexual satisfaction outside of a committed relationship when he is having problems as a sign of his character and of potential things to come if anything more serious were ever to develop between you two. If he will cheat on her when things are rough (maybe they are rough because of him?), then he will probably cheat on you too.

[sumina7]

May be he feels guilty about kissing in the mouth because of his girl friend.

However, since it is an FWB relationship, don't worry about it. Also, don't base your friendship purely on the premise that he would leave his girl friend for you in some distant future. Test his love by making sure that he does favors for you and gives you expensive gifts. Since, he is your supervisor, make sure that he shows his love for you by giving you good raises, bonuses promotions and the kind of work you like. Borrow money from him to make him committed.

To get him deeply attached to you, make sure that you give him fabulous sex. Find out what his fantasies are and fulfill them. Don't just stick to letting him do whatever he wants to do with your body. Do things with his body. For example, make sure that you give him great head.

All the best.

[jacquesvol]

"Since, he is your supervisor, make sure that he shows his love for you by giving you good raises, bonuses promotions and the kind of work you like. Borrow money from him to make him committed." Ugly reasoning :-P

[sumina7]

If he truly loves her, he would mentor her and make sure that she does well in her job. Also, men would normally not lend money to a girl unless they truly love her and trust her.

[anonymous4]

Or if they are paying for services rendered.

[sumina7]

Exactly!

[shes-a-lady]

I agree with jacquesvol. its exactly what all those whores did when my dad f***ed them (he was married and had 2 kids too)

[Reeses-pieces777]

kissing is more intimate, you'd have to love someone to kiss them. I believe it means his heart belongs to someone else. that's why he doesn't want to kiss them. he's an adult and he should know what he's doing is going to hurt his family eventually

[Tipu03March]

i think dear he is enjoying his life with you and his life partner to.he is having two kids and a wife to...not today them might be someday he will return back to them...then what you will do...?...be realistic ...move away from this guy and get engaged with someone who really loves you and like u...

[joey1989]

seriously. your wasting your time.

i understand you feel a connection with this dude but he's got a girl and two kids.

hes not leaving her.

he's ur supervisor. his job is in the line if the relationship between you two got out to the public. I doubt he's gonna take that risk in this time of recession.

my advice stop giving it up to him and see how he reacts.

talk to him about it. (but I take no responsibility if you get fired.)

im sorry for some of these comments being so rude but trying reading your own question from third person's point of view.

[green08]

if he didn't break up with her before getting with you...he never will

[Bureezay]

Oh my god...

Your a booty call.I'm sorry.he has a girlfriend an too kids.If he really liked you he would probably be with you.

Get some self respect.Your really pretty! you deserve better! don't be a home wrecker!

[Jermaine1502]

Wow you are not looking at the big picture you are the other woman I'm sorry he will not leave his kids no matter how much you want him to and him telling you how bad he's relationship is one way of getting what he wants from you. You are being used plain and simple.

[cjwright79]

I would say that your new guy friend is probably in it for a good time, which will peter out shortly.

[Snorkledorf]

Well, ignoring that wildly dramatic situation... :)

Do you smoke? I'm grasping at straws here, but that'd be about the only reason I'd avoid kissing someone during sex.

[Jarett]

YOU ARE A BOOTY CALL! YOU ARE GETTING USED FOR SEX!

[MadHatterni]

I keep my opinions to myself but there's three options

here they are

1. he doesn't kiss you on the lips because he wants that only for his wife

2. he doesn't kiss you on ya mouth because maybe you gave him head and he'll find that a bit distasteful

3. your thinking to much into it and should be happy with what you have because he's town between you and your family so a kiss is far from his mind.

Idk if he would because childern are a big thing. I think he would leave you before he leaves her because of all the difficult issues that will follow if he does move on. example - dead man walking. to admit an affair is like digging a hole 6 feet deep and dying.