Why won't my boyfriend eat me out? Is he being unfair?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend took my virginity, and he's had one girlfriend before who he lost it to. The first time we did it, I gave him a blowjob. He was really into it, so I took control and asked him if I could sit on his face. He let me and it felt amazing. Then we had sex and I made him cum. We were both pretty satisfied. Since then, when we do it, I always suck him off pretty thoroughly and he loses his mind. He has only gone down on me twice, including the first time, and I had to ask him both times. I asked him if something was wrong and he said it's not a bad taste or anything to do with me, but the fact that he'd never ate out before. He's also said it "wasn't his thing" and more recently, after I gave him a bj, that it was a "waste of time" and he wanted to get right to fucking. This really hurt my feelings and I let him know that, and he felt bad about what he said. This really disappoints me that he won't go down. I always do it for him, so I told him I won't go down on him when I "don't feel like it". I thought sex was about pleasing your partner! How can I change his mind without coming off controlling?

[Greyson_]

Sex should be about mutual pleasure between both partners, but again, it's not about forcing someone to do something they aren't comfortable with. I, personally, can't understand WHY he isn't comfortable with it, but it sounds like a deal breaker to me. Trust me, there are tons of guys out there who LOVE going down on women. There are also plenty of other ladies who go crazy for it, me amoung them. There is nothing sexier than the taste, smell, feel and reaction of a girl who's pleasure you're completely in control of. I'm obsessed with it, on the giving and receiving end, and I have tons of guy friends I've discussed this with and know guys who feel both ways. I've had guys tell me they're not into it (cannot fucking relate) and I've had guys tell me they can't live without doing it. So it sounds to me like your current dude needs to find one of those girls that doesn't "like" receiving oral sex (and what's that about?) and you need move on to a real man who will treat you like the goddess that you are.

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

you are right sex IS about pleasing your partner. but a lot of guys don't realize that girls need more foreplay than they do. I had the same problem with my boyfriend for a while and I felt weird demanding him to do something he didn't want to do. but I would never finish and he couldn't figure out why and I was like dude are you dumb? he does it now and it doesn't bother him lol I think it might just take time. just keep asking and talking to him about needing it. I hope this helps!

[AustinMan]

I'm not sure unfair is how I'd characterize his behavior. I think he was just being honest. Don't go down on him if you see it as a quid pro quo situation. Some women just won't give blow jobs and some men don't like to muff dive, me among them. It's not you--it's him. Given how big a deal it is for you, you might consider moving on and making sure the next guy can't live without going down on you. Otherwise, you need to live with it.

I can understand your hurt feelings when he just wanted to get on with it. That's pretty crass.

[Red_Arrow]

Tell him it is something that you really enjoy and that pleasing you should never be considered "a waste of time". If he still does not want to do it for you, that will tell you a lot about how he feels about you.

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

Because he is an asshole

[komikev]

Well let me just say this modern stupidity has put men thinking is gross to go down on a woman. When it is absolutey delicious in taste and intoxicatingly sexy in smell pluss seeing you gals squirm in orgasm and squirt is a prize. So if he wt do it niether should you tell him to give it a try no one dislikes a delightful tongue bath between their legs. Sure he's not gay? no offense.

[SamuelB]

Sex is partly about pleasing your partner but you shouldn't try to force/guilt someone into doing something that they are uncomfortable doing.

[awsumvet]

Very unfair. ...