Sexual Relationships
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Are we emotionally connected and have feelings if the sex was unreal, ridiculous amazing?

Me and this guy have always had intense connection, we've known each other a year. We've just started to sleep together on a friendship level at the moment. We had sex and it was on another level... it was amazing, unreal. I've never experienced anything like it if I'm honest. Could this mean we have feelings for each other and have a deeper connection? I am a lot more experienced than him and a few years older.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • You are clearly emotionally connected to him. But what you're really asking is if he has deeper feelings for you now, after the mind-blowing sex you had with him.

    Was his mind blown, too?
    Does he act any differently now?

    You say you have an "intense connection" but you're sleeping together "on a friendship level." So which is it?

    I think it's surely possible he's developed feelings for you - but you have to ask. Guys are comfortable with being emotionally detached from casual sex. So this is something you're either going to have to pick up from his body language or ask outright. The more signals you can give - real, measurable things that he is doing differently - the more accurately we can judge a change in his state and possible emotional attachment to you.

    What do YOU feel about him?

    • He said himself it was unreal!! He's contacting me more. Than he has done... we always had that connection. I've told him how I felt and he still come back for more. he said he just wanted to be friends but I know there's more going on with him. Think he maybe scared.

    • I really like him and he knows that.

    • OK - so he knows you like him, he keeps coming back for more unimaginably awesome sex, he says he wants to just be friends.

      This puts you in a tricky situation if you choose to accept his terms. One day the sex won't be unimaginably mind blowing, it'll just be very good. And then he can decide to walk away for no reason, leaving you hurt and wondering "what did I do wrong."

      You have to be assertive like in the song "More than Friends" by Estelle ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-t-rV4UPZA )

      If he gets to be a part of your life, you should hold him to a high standard. You deserve to be "official" - what reason is there NOT to be? If you want it, you should get it, that's the deal, that's what you expect out of the relationship with him.

      Because at this point it IS a relationship, whatever you want to label it - you are emotionally and physically connected. Staying "just friends" is enabling the idea that you are free to fkuc around with others and are not exclusive.

  • Yes, you totally have deeper feelings. How about after the sex? I find that if afterward you are both glowing, it means you have bonded and emotionally connected on a deeper level. It is truly a magic experience.

    • He cuddles me for abit he's really closed to me. Both just fall asleep.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Not necessarily in the way you hope.

    Sex is sex... Even emotional sharing doesn't mean a ton to some guys.

    Guys can have sex AND have emotional sharing without it being a deeper connection "love" type of thing. friends with benefits often gets that way and the female partner gets burned because we get a stronger dose of bonding hormones from hooking up. I've been there.

  • Intense relationship or friends that is not the same thing. You've obviously jumped shop to more than friends. The question is has he? If he hasn't you need tip get out because you are the one that's going to get hurt. Oh and don't be one of those girls hoping that continuing to have sex with him will change his mind and he'll want a relationship.

  • Not necessarily. I had a similar situation in the past. The sex was amazing but I found his company bordering on painful and would not have wanted a relationship with him (nor he I). Sometimes you can have amazing sexual chemistry with someone without there being any more to it

    • We have a laugh aswell we get on are very similar... but I just think he's scared

    • I know what you mean. Sometimes though you can get on well and have great sex and nothing more. I am a firm believer in judging men on their actions. It is a cliche at this stage but if a guy likes a girl he likes her and nothing will stop him from wanting her to be his. Particularly if he doesn't want her to be with anyone else

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 4

  • I would say so. Ask him how he feels.

  • Not necessarily. For some people, sex is just sex. Even if it's mind-blowing, it doesn't always guarantee that the feeling is going to be mutual (on an emotional level).

  • Sex releases love hormones.

  • It would be a very bad idea to mistake infatuation for emotional attraction through having mind-blowing sex. Essentially, all you have is just you really liking the sex and relationships built on this as a base don't last long.

  • Sounds like you've developed deeper feelings for him, even if it's subconscious.

    Don't know from his side since I don't know him.

    • Yea I know I have feelings for him. He said it felt unreal. The run up to this he always stared at my intensly and I'd get butterfly's.

    • Sounds like it's more than "friendship sex". Sounds like you want a (romantic) relationship with him.

  • so unbelieve able

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