Would you rather jack off to web cam girls online or have sex with your girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

I have been dating my my boyfriend for almost two years and we live together, we are 30 years old. I realized that he was not too sexually outgoing or confident (or with me at least) shortly after dating and only when he was a bit buzzed does he really let his guard down. I chalked this up to him not having many serious relationships and/or previous girlfriends not being very sexual. Dumb I know, but I thought I could bring out this more sexual person but hey I wasn't always so confident either, with age and awesome sexual partners I gained this new found love of sex in my late twenties. I have tried talking about this with him and it seems to make him uncomfortable to say the least and he says he is attracted to me and likes sex (which I don't doubt). But when it comes down to it, actions speak louder than words, fuck me already please and as often as you would like. I recently initiated sex after work and realized he didn't get off, which he denied. That then made me think to check the history of the computer the next day, sure enough he got off an hour before to web cam site. I don't mind p*rn at all, but the thought of only getting off to naked women/girls who are just lying there or masturbating seems so boring to me. Not only that but shouldn't it be filler and not your primary source? Since that day I found myself checking his history almost daily (pathetic I know). I guess my question is would guys rather get off by themselves, than have actual sex? I ask my guy friends and I understand the reasons to watch p*rn are endless. I'm not sad or hurt by this, I'm more pissed that i'm wasting my time with him. I mean he can sit there for however long and learn how other girls get themselves off but doesn't want to walk 20 feet away to the bedroom and explore me? I just want to move on and get laid if he would rather do this... any advice?

[HonestGuru]

Have you ever watched Don John? I'd watch it, because it depicts the mentalities of many men. for quite a few, fantasy and the world they create in their heads become better than their real life experiences. Many guys' sexual expectations are shaped by p*rn sex which is sad. Real world sex, is nothing like p*rn sex, and to many that's disappointing. He sound's like such a guy. Basically, you guys might not be sexually compatible, and that IS a reason to break up.

Have an honest talk with him. Communication is 100% key to any successful relationship. Tell him your needs etc. If he's not willing to compromise, or you just don't feel like you're getting what you need, then you should call off the relationship. You're feeling of dissatisfaction in the bedroom will never be offset or compensated for in any other aspect of the relationship. Sexual incompatibility is a reason to break up if you can't get what you need.

Break ups are tough, no doubt. But truly realize that there are plenty of guys out there who are much more suited for your interests. Often what traps us in relationships we are unhappy with is simply fear of the unknown, don't settle. My favorite quote ever is this quote by robin williams. It really does, in my opinion directly relate to people stuck in relationships they're unhappy with "I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone."

[Asker]

Thank you! I have seen that movie - with him! Yeah the surprising thing is if he had some kink that he was ashamed of or emabarrased to tell me about this would make more sense. These are girls lying on a bed half undressed finger banging themselves or smoking, I dont get it. And thank you for the quote - that about sums it up. I started this relationship saying "it doesn't work, until it does, so why not try it" thanks again!

[Wisenguber]

I'd say his problem is in his psyche, he may feel that sex with you intimidates him especially if he feels your more advance than he is. If you have been verbal, about wanting sex, and guiding him on the way you like it, and the fact that his problem may stem from the lack of relationships thereof then, he may revert to anxiety which could cause performance issues, from the pressure of competition of your past. Now, if he knows your unsatisfied because you are, although you are encouraging, and loving toward him, he may not see it as such, after 2 years, he may see it as nagging, or belittlement. I an not certain if he fucks you correctly, or if it is not enough, or the combination of both, but mentally he sees maybe the act of women teasing him, or pleasuring themselves as an aphrodisiac, and maybe if you recorded yourself or did this in front of him it could get better. In the movie Don Jon, the character had a similar fixation, because a certain connection was not there, and after two years of this, you may want to think about, actually finding someone who I more sexually compatible, if the above option (s) dont work.. ie counseling, or pleasure yourself in his presence. Good question, and good luck.

[Asker]

I really appreciate your response and you are right, I was loving and patient in the beginning and now I feel like a nag, which out of all things to nag about seems so ridiculous. I actually said that I would be a happier GF if I was getting laid regularly than having him do dishes, laundry, etc ... If I am not getting this from him, I don't know what makes him any different than other guy in my life besides living together.

[Kris85]

Anyone that doesn't pick their girlfriend is an idiot.

[Asker]

Ha, thanks! But as a women can you see how hard it is to confront this, I dont know why I care but I do and I dont want to hurt his feelings. Lame...

[JohnScofield787]

He is messed up... but p*rn does that.

[ImagineRelease]

Sell him some tokens to your show! :) make him pay cash (for real) make it fun.

[HorrorFan]

Any dude with his head screwed on straight is going to take the real deal over the visual masturbatory aid.

All I can say is I've read a lot of similar stories to yours on this site and I don't really get it. I'm just as confused as you are.

[Asker]

That's what I'm worried about - I leave and another dude has the same hang up. Is this some new epidemic?

[cavmanier]

I didn't read the paragraph but even single I don't want to jack off to a cam girl.

[chadsten]

You're just not sexually appealing to him anymore, that's all.

[tonicman]

You need to try and make love, not fuck. Maybe that'll change things for him. Otherwise its as HonestGuru said

[bakuro]

I rather have sex with my gf

[HadiAbdel_]

Why a webcams when you have a real life girl next to you? Lol that's a stupid question. Yet,... on second thought id probably resort to webcam girls of the girl I was with was jack shit hideous.

[Kris85]

But why would she be hideous in the first place if you are dating her?

[Wisenguber]

Wow, dude really!!! Lol 😁

[Asker]

I feel like I know what the answer should be - the obvious me... I never thought I would have to write this but I have a fantastic body and am attractive, this BS is not making me even question that

[HadiAbdel_]

@Kris85 convenience would be a good reason. @Asker ayyy MS. perfection go tell that to your partner that, don't tell me I'm not the one who rather resort to strangers on the internet than the real thing.

[Asker]

I'm sorry I didn't mean to be stuck up by responding to you, I haven't used this before tonight. I'm open to all your opinions and appreciate them. I just was responding to that I wasn't hideous, I am a female I know how some women do let themselves go or gain wait after a child. That's all.

[HadiAbdel_]

@Asker Look all I can say is that this can happen in relationships. Let me tell you why... my fiance got pregnant and she has gained weight so in her little mind she's creating this idea "that I'm less interested" so I've noticed she's distancing herself and she's staring to believe its true. So because I see her behave that way and she's behaving weird that is only causing me to distance myself and being less intimate with her. Now if she would give me a reason to why I should spark up again id probably connect myself more to her like I was from the start. With that said you give your partner a reason on why he should stop resorting to the web with his "fictional fantasies" and go to the real deal which would be you.

[RedThread]

I'd much rather actually have sex lol

[gapminder]

Personally I would much rather have the real thing. However I'm glad you brought it up because recent studies have shown that the increased availability of Internet p*rn has lead to an increase of sexual dysfunction in men and boys ages 15-30. What happens is the guys get so used to the pressure and friction from masturbation, that when he actually has normal sex, it's not enough stimulation to reach orgasm.

This is for SOME EXTREME cases but it is a statistic that is no doubt, on the rise. It sounds like your boyfriend needs to lay of the p*rn and jerkin the gerkin honestly. Good luck

[Caliguy88]

Girlfriend, but sometimes some solo time is nice!

[Naughtyboy71]

Have sex with who ever girlfriend

[koko124]

Assuming I'm actually attracted to the gf in question, the latter.

[jakeofalltrades]

is this a trick questions? I would much rather have a gf's pussy then being forced to use my own hand

[Anonymous]

For me real sex is always better but sometimes cam girls and masturbation is just easier and less stressful.

[Anonymous]

At the beginning, sex with gf. But after a while guys want variety.

[Anonymous]

It could be that he's just use to p*rn and finds it comforting not to have to perform. some people over think sex.