Sexual Relationships
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Should I tell my boyfriend I've been gangbanged?

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half. 3 years ago I had sex with 4 men, basically I was gangbanged, I enjoyed it and I don't regret it. I thought I'd never tell him cause why would I but yesterday he told me he has had sex with to girls at the same time and some other of his sexual adventures. I didn't say anything about my gangbang experience but now I'm thinking maybe I should. I don't want there to be secrets between us and he's already told me about his past sex life. I don't know what to do. Should I tell him? I'm scared he might leave me after finding out about that. Guys, how would you react?
0 3

Most Helpful Guys

  • Well, being part of a gangbang is one of my fantasies so if you were my g/f and told me that my reaction might well be to see if you were up for another go! I like it when my partner tells me about wild stuff they've done sexually in their past, I have my stories to tell, if anything its reassuring if they also have theirs.

    Obviously not all guys are the same though, sone would totally freak when hearing that. It sounds like he's had some adventures himself though, so you'd hope he'd be able to handle it, would be a bit of a double standard otherwise. Suppose it depends if he's one of those macho guys that likes the idea of him being a man of the world and you being all sweet and innocent. If he is the fact that you've done something wilder than him might puncture his ego somewhat. If he's more down to earth and stoical he should be able to deal with it.

    Out of interest why do you want to tell him now when you didn't before? Do you feel you have to match up to his exploits somehow, not let him get away with thinking he's the only one with a wild side in thw relationship? Or do you just want to be as open with him as he has been with you?

  • Thats a huuuuuuge gamble. I can understand your need for honesty and all but I've always told people "if you want to destroy your relationship, be 100% honest at all times", be honest to a point. That story, THAT is the point to stop. In this situation, lets go with "what he doesn't know won't hurt him" or "ignorance is bliss".
    The chances that he won't mind are very very slim, even when considering the time frame. Also him telling you he had sex with two girls is not honesty, thats bragging, that means a huge ego. You telling him yours is going to shatter that and he'll run for the hills.
    Then again, you are always welcome to test and see.

    • this... there's too much to risk

    • thanks @Rcjh1987

    • your welcome 😊

Most Helpful Girls

  • It's one thing to brag as a guy and get away with it telling GF
    but (sorry) quite another for a gal to tell your story, esp. "liking it" as icing on this goodbye cake.
    Better to be very vague that maybe yes you've had other lovers in a shy way... and if pressed tell him you'd prefer to keep his secrets as well... make a pact that neither tells any of your sexually shared adventures together to others, else there'll be unwanted knocks on the door... for sex.
    Not even when you're angry & want to get even will you tell, else this will glue shut the door you just slammed in the heat of the moment.

    The ONLY time I can imagine you might confess would be after your BF/you decide to hold a gangbang, then afterwards you explain why you enjoyed it or not

    Sigh - I know you won't listen so maybe other GAGers will vote NO

  • I think you shouldn't lie and tell him if he asks you something related to it, but even if I think that he probably won't hate or leave you because he had threesomes himself, it's probably not something you should tell him on your own

  • I would never suggest you lie within the trusting confines of a relationship. That being said, I wouldn't volunteer that info either.

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 24

  • It was in the past, it's not like you did it last week or something. I'm sure he won't have a problem with it, and might even be interested in finding out. You never know, maybe he'll suggest doing it again :P

  • i think he shouldn't mind... he told you about his... also, what was it like? i've wanted to try that

    • For me - great. They were really nice guys and weren't complete strangers to me as well. It was extremely arousing, I felt desired and well taken care of.😘 Enjoyed every minute.

    • thank you :)

    • I'm a guy up for it but have never managed to pull it off. I havnt met a guy up for it. I'm assuming there has to be some trust with one of the guys so I am looking for like social circles that would be up for it. Easier said than done.

  • I told my husband and he fucked me so hard I couldn’t walk after.

    • I had the same reaction when a guy I vaguely knew told me him and 4 other man had gangbanged my girlfriend in the past. I knew all of them. One was one of my closest friends. I asked her, she confirmed it was true. I didn't tell her I knew who all the men were, or my close friend that I knew. I got a kick out of it when we'd meet up, seeing them looking awkward. She went on to tell me other times. Hitching across Europe she was picked up by three guys who all fucked her in their camper van for a few days. They took her to their small holding / hippy camp. Over the next week they, some other men, and one woman all freely enjoyed her. Sometimes in groups, or in turns. I was very turned on. Also a bit insecure. She started talking about wanting to do it again, bringing it too often, really and teasing me. I spent months vetting a group of 5 men for her. It felt like a bit of a power move for me. "You think I wouldn't dare? I'll show you!" To give her her due, she seemed like twice as many men wouldn't have been intimidating.

  • honestly its weird I mean I want to say honesty is the best policy but at the same time idn if its worth it I mean he was honest about his past

  • To give you some insight men on average only have sex with about 7 women in their lifetime, given that it's harder for a guy to have sex with multiple women he would think that his 3 some was quite an accomplishment, especially in a man's world. Unfortunately we still have a bias toward women and those that had gang bangs orgies or multiple sex partners in a short amount of time will be subject to shaming either directly or indirectly. It's not always intentional for a man to do this, yet it's in many males upbringing to be conditioned to believe such things and it's also still evolutionary in conditioning, that years ago men couldn't tell who a father was of a child and had to demand monogamy, as not to expend or waste valuable resources. I think this article may help shed some light. www.thefemininewoman.com/.../

  • DON'T tell him that. Ever. And I wouldn't take his threesome story at face value. Smart men don't share details like that, nor do they want to hear details like that, from their SO. It's a bad deal, all around.

  • In my opinion it is usually a mistake to share info about previous experiences. Also do you still hang out with these guys? He's going to be wondering exactly who they are. Might even feel foolish for being with a lady who has gang banged. Could be wondering what else you've been up to? Or wether everyone is laughing at him. When it comes to other men there is more insecurity than if you had admitted to sleeping with four other girls at the same time.

  • I know this is old, but have experience of this.

    He's been open and honest. That's the moment for her to do the same.

    I was 3 years into a relationship and a guy I vaguely knew told me he'd gangbanged my girlfriend in the past.

    Hiding things from your partner is the basis for a shitty relationship

  • Never tell him. It's the best way

  • Don't tell him unless he's one of those adventurous kinky guys who would like warching his girl get fucked by another dude.

    There's huge potential he will negatively judge you for having that experience. I'd keep it to myself if I were you.

  • I wouldn't want to know, but at the same time if I ever found out it would be mega awkward. don't know, do what you think is best.

  • If you told me that, I would def dump your ass in an instant.

  • Almost a year has passed since you posted your question, and I'm wondering what did you finally decide.

    Anyways, here is my opinion. Some men, including me, are turned on by their partners' past adventures. However, that doesn't mean it is a sane reaction. It is, actually, a fetish. And very often those fetishes originate in traumas or events that marked us and made us consciously or unconsciously obsessed by something in particular. I had some events in my life that brought me here. I'm perfectly aware of that and this way I enjoy my fetish much more than earlier in my life when I had no idea about its' origins.

    So, in my opinion, if your boyfriend doesn't give you signs that 1) he would have a fetish like that and 2) he loves you unconditionally, it is better not to mention for one single reason: a gangbang is a sensitive information that a person could use against you if something changes between you two. Take in account that those things are even used in trials as proofs. So... it is something you experienced, it had to be very pleasurable and enjoyable for you, even more than for the male participants, and I understand that sometimes you'd like to scream and shout ''I did it and I liked it!'', but don't do it before being completely sure about the person you are dealing with.

  • DON'T. TELL. HIM. EVER.

  • How many girls did he do it with?
    Say the same amount.
    If you're worried about your number being greater than his then don't do it. It shouldn't matter to him.
    If you think it will help your relationship but are nervous then just match his number. If he gets upset then he's a jerk.
    Does he like hearing any kinky stories from your past?
    If he does then ease him into your fun past. If he's uneasy then back off, don't tell him anything else. Then decide if you can really trust his love for you.

  • Up to you, but he will most likely never look at you the same again, even if his past sexual exploits are quite vast.

  • Meh,... only tell him if you really want to. Otherwise it's just a memory for you. Some guys might say it's okay with them but totally freak o

  • 4 men? Prepare to be dumped

    • You should definitely tell him though, id want to know asap so I dont fuck you anymore but thats just me

  • If he is open to discussing previous exploits then I would share your stories and what you thought about them. Who knows where that will lead your sexual experiences together….

  • At least I would want to know, even though it would be hard to accept I would still want you to tell me. There is always that chance that he might find out about it from someone else and that would be devastating, I advice you to tell him and if he leaves you because of your past he isn't worth you anyway.

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