I feel like I raped my girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Basically our past few days have been really f**ked up. I had promised her that we wouldn't do anything out of her comfort zone. A couple of days back she decided not to do anything phyiscal, including kissing. I made up my mind not to do it. Then she decided that she wanted a relationship the next day, again I felt weird. Then the very same day she broke up and an hour later told me she can't live without me, making me fed up of this whole situation. That time, I felt like 'screw everything', I don't even care about the world anymore, screw all feelings. So I told her let's sext on Skype despite her being uncomfortable and let's just forget about all feelings. Then I told her at this point (after discarding all feelings) I told her that I didn't care right now whether she was uncomfortable. So she went ahead with it, I did realize she was crying at the beginning of Skype but I felt that she agreed to the 'don't care about feelings for a while thing' and she crying was just about to end. Then she sexted and I went along with it, later she started crying properly, like full on. Then, at that point I felt that she was crying because she thought I didn't care whether she was comfortable. But in actuality I do care about her being comfortable but at that moment I had umm.. Numbed (?) emotions because I felt so fucked up, even to an extent that I didn't care what happened. I didn't tell her that it was a temporary thing Then she showed me her face which was full of tears and I got immediately turned off. It felt like she wanted to see how I could not care about her to this extent and that made me feel really weird as well. After that I felt even more fucked up and numbed in emotions that even suicide didn't seem as a big deal and had she said the word, I would've done it.

[Anonymous]

Normal fight - make up will be wonderful
and now you both graduate - the hard way - to a new upper level of relationship
She's not mature enough to handle her hormones & emotions and
your story proves you don't have clue what to do... w/o outside help MUCH older, wiser so...
a word to the wise... before you do another thing, find a local person that knows what to do with this situation (kind of an interview for a job idea), then hope they will "be there" next time you both step on another land mine like this.

Yeah, you were wrong and underlined that your will is more important than hers when the relationship is lost w/o a light to guide. However, it's not that bad in that w/o a guy's sex/love drive, many gals would sit & wait for "nothing" to happen, waiting for their prince charming to guide them. This will heal in time but witing can be shortened by your love talk ointments and acts of love band-aids.

Again, don't do a thing until you have a sage counselor in the wings to insure no more land mine are handled crazy like this one that exploded. These memories build over time & can overshadow the true love you have for her memories.

[Tirana]

You both need to figure out what you want, and if you can compromise or agree on those wants. An exclusive relationship takes work, trust, and an open mind.

[KeanuReaver]

To me it does seem like a huge misunderstanding. But i only have your side of things so i dont know.
From what you have written we can only assume that she was being paranoid, and that you were being unclear about your intentions.

At the same time she could have just said no and not done anything.____.

[Anonymous]

I think she should sort herself out before she tries being in a relationship, rather than end up using physical intimacy as a means to emotionally abuse you into submission.

[Opinion Owner]

That, and you didn't actually rape her, so that's good.